| Our LiL Getaway @ Rasa Sentosa |

finally, the long-awaited rasa sentosa pictures are out!

ok, let's just type this down for memory sake.

this lil getaway happened only outta frustration that my parents refused, after a series of begs and pleas, to let their baby girl outta the country with her only love. so, we figured, the furthest we could have gotten was to the neighbouring islands, hence the prime choice of sentosa.

we probably could have gotten a cheaper alternative at the costa sands chalets there, but since we were gonna be there, we decided to give ourselves a lil treat as a reward and encouragement of the previous year.


::in the bus on the way to sentosa; got a lil pissed at my dear for something i can't even remember anymore =p::


::our lil house for the next 2 days::


::ooo the nice BIG bed::


::another view of the BIG bed::


::my turn ON the BIG bed *laughz::


::the balcony where we would have sat and watched the stars if not for the rainy season::


::our view from the balcony::


::the nice and "open" toilet::


::around the beach by the hotel::


::i like this picture, its sweet =)::


::i like this picture even more cos its sweeter::


::@ the lobby of the 11th storey where we stayed::


::posing by our balcony; i decided to still put this picture up after all even though my love would frown upon seeing it. dear i wanna be able to admire myself 20 years down the road ok? =p::


::just before going for a dip in the blue blue beach and pool::


::and after we got outta the cold cold waters *shivers::

we headed down to the Luge where we had this incredibly fast downhill ride ever! it was cool and fun, trust me.
but if you have problems sitting on 3 pieces of metal with nothing supporting your feet but yourself hanging 50 feet in the air, DUN try this ride!


::just started out and all smiles::

p.s you won't find any pictures of an unglam yours truly being caught on camera. hmmm but try my love' s blog and you might find it. *tsk


::still telling myself to be brave, can you see what's behind or around us?::

anyway, it was one hell of a ride. well worth the $8.


::after a not-so-good night's rest but still giving my sunshine smile::


::and this fre-roaming peacock that just wouldn't leave me alone! he came real close to me and started pecking around, for a moment, i almost thought he was gonna peck me to death!::

then the last few shots before we headed back to mainland...


::the children's pool and slide where i really regretted not trying out *pouts::


::by the fountain that was outside of the hotel's main lobby::


::and a pic for keep-sake that we were @ siloso beach::


::and lastly, it was goodbye sentosa!::

we'll definitely head back, say a few years down the road? heh =p

| Service |

just read some stuff which made me realise so many things which i have so blatantly forgotten - my purpose as a Christian.

to serve, to love, to witness.

serve the Lord with all the talents He has so generously bestowed upon us.
i used to think God never gave me talents, but as i grew older, i realised it was more that i hadn't discovered them yet. and so now i realise, i must do something about it or i wouldn't be accountable to God when i see Him.

love thy neighbour, love thy enemies, love those who hate you. the very essence of love = forgiveness.

salt and light of the world to always stand out of the crowd, not conforming to the world but to only to the ways of the Lord.

and to always be in His service...

| The Sun Refuse to Shine |

it's late again! i don't understand why.

so cold, its been raining and raining non stop, why won't the sun shine anymore?
i miss the sun!!!

because the sun refuse to shine, my clothes STINK big time! and we've got no dryer.

*sigh

say, should we invest in a dryer especially for seasons like these when the monsoon comes?

BUT the sun is FREE!!!

and i will upload the pictures of Rasa Sentosa soon.

| Dress Personality Quiz |

Your Results

Your Dress Personality: Girly

• Your Personality

You're the romantic princess in the truest sense, believing in true love and human kindness. You are ladylike yet girly at the same time, and your sweet and innocent nature makes you very charming in your own gentle ways. Topped with your kawaii (cute) looks, you are almost angelic.

• Your Dress Style

Your favorite colors are pastels, especially pink and baby blue. You are in love with anything and everything sweet and feminine: flowy dresses, floral prints, bohemian skirts and everything reminiscent of your girly childhood.

Take the What's Your Dress Personality? Quiz @ ShoppingLifeStyle

| Complaints |

ok i have many things to complain about today.

went for my teacher's wake on monday night @ st joseph's church and the turnout was awesome. it was like some kinda gathering cum meet-up session than a funeral prayer service. and some were even dressed to the nines, with colorful clothes at that, and with thick load of make-up.

then of course it was most unfortunate that i had to meet some of my classmates back then who were real nasty and who are still, after 5-6 years, nasty.

these bunch of girls, are not the typical KC gals you'd find along the streets of orchard road or along any famous clubs/pubs. rather, they are the studious kind and who think they know best about everything and everyone. its amazing the way the gaze at you and the next just turn around and gossip right in your face, softly of course and still pretend to be nice and go like "hi!". these gals have no balls.

and they looked so much older now, alot more haggard than any of us even though they were in casual jeans and tops. even we had light make-up on, most of us still looked better than any of them anytime.

you see, its called karma. its what goes around that comes back around. you gossip, criticise and talk bad about pple non-stop all day long and this is the kinda result you get.
they were seriously cao lau.

so they spoiled the nice catch-up i was having with my favourite biology teacher. she's a real nice teacher who really made the human body interesting in her way special way. and because of her, i scored an A2 for my 'o' levels. nah, it ain't my intention to hao lian, but see i just want to make a point that she's a real inspiration.

that aside.

i wanna complain about the engineer in my company too. have i talked about him before on my blog? i have no recollection at all. anyway, like me, he juz joined the company last year and had been here barely a year. like me, he and i report to the same boss.

but he's always coming up to look for my boss for i dunno what reasons, and its amazing how he comes up every single day without fail to ask my boss some supposedly "brillant" questions or to have some "intelligent"discussion with him.

*argh

and initially when i was here, he tried making me do stuff for him even though i only take orders from my boss. and when i mentioned my boss' name, his balls would strink. i mean like come on, wait till you promote to a more senior rank with your degree from NTU, i don't see why i should help or do things for you when you can jolly well do it yourself. and like please, i'm not gonna be here forever, i'm not even gonna be here for 2 years. its max a year and i'll be off to becoming a student again.

ok, so what i was trying to get at was, i need to get some reports from my boss' office and he's in there AGAIN!!! which is why i'm so frustrated, and here typing my anger away.

everything aside. will be posting up our lil rendevous @ rase sentosa soon yah. =)

| End of Another Life |

one of my KC teacher passed away.

we're attending the church prayer sevice @ st joseph's tonight.

the whole bunch of us from KC whom she used to teach are going.

even my mother knew her. she's taught my mother before too. that's how far the KC culture dates back.

she was the school's discipline mistress at the time i was still in school.

she used to teach me literature, and was the reason why i flopped pretty badly when she took over from the other teacher.

but still she was nice. she had her own way of teaching, her own method and i guess i just couldn't quite follow.

again what's the use of saying all these? men still has to die. and who's going to remember you for the contributions you've made while you were alive?

i sound so cynical i know.

but am just wondering, how will the outcome of my funeral be when its my turn to go?

| New Year |

its a new year with a good and bad start.

spent the new year in church with dear, big sis and kor, sending the old year away silently.

it was a renewed covenant with God, and i pray we'll fulfill what we set out to do.

resolution for 2006 (though i'm a lil late):
1) curb my temper
2) spend MORE time with my family
3) spend LESS
4) read once through the Bible
5) service to the Lord
6) involvement in cell
7) find new ways to romance with my love

and my parents are finally back!

| A Barbie |

people say i look like a Barbie Doll.
*laughz
do you think so? heh =p

anyway, its early new year for me because my boss left earlier this afternoon and is not coming back for the rest of the day, and he's gonna be on leave and will only return on thursday, while i, will be on leave on friday because its our lil getaway!!!

so exciting! its the first time we're gonna be at such a posh hotel (besides Conrad which is more business-formal kinda posh), hee i'm all excited!

oh and i woke up thinking about the last movie we watched, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. i think the movie was very brilliantly made and i really don't mind watching it again. *hints
and my favourite quote that Mr. Darcy said that just totally melted my heart when he said it to Elizabeth Bennet.

"If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever." - Mr. Darcy's second proposal to Elizabeth and this time round, things have changed and so have her answer.

so touching right? oh my!

and have i announced this movie to be MY best movie of 2005? it is.

*laughz

| Innovation Adoption Curve |

you see, my boss asked me to type out a business plan for him today. he said i could input whatever i thought was appropriate. so whilst i was doing up the business plan, i thought of the Innovation Adoption Curve, or Temasek Poly Marketing students would know it better as Diffusion of Innovations Theory.

2 years since i left school and i had to do some research on it before i could remember what was it all about. *tsk and here are my findings.



The Innovation Adoption Curve of Rogers is a model that classifies adopters of innovations into various categories, based on the idea that certain individuals are inevitably more open to adaptation than others. Is also referred to as Multi-Step Flow Theory or Diffusion of Innovations Theory.

Innovators
Brave people, puling the change. Innovators are very important communication.

Early Adopters
Respectable people, opinion leaders, try out new ideas, but in a careful way.

Early Majority
Thoughtful people, careful but accepting change more quickly than the average.

Late Majority
Skeptic people, will use new ideas or products only when the majority is using it.

Laggards
Traditional people, caring for the "old ways", are critical towards new ideas and will only accept it if the new idea has become mainstream or even tradition.

The diffusion of innovations curve (innovation adoption curve) of Rogers is useful to remember that trying to quickly and massively convince the mass of a new controversial idea is useless.

It makes more sense in these circumstances to start with convincing innovators and early adopters first. Also the categories and percentages can be used as a first draft to estimate target groups for communication purposes.

Diffusion research focus was on five elements:
1) The characteristics of an innovation which may influence its adoption;
2) The decision-making process that occurs when individuals consider adopting a new idea, product or practice;
3) The characteristics of individuals that make them likely to adopt an innovation;
4) The consequences for individuals and society of adopting an innovation; and
5) Communication channels used in the adoption process.

*the above is taken from this site

| Christmas Dinner 2005 |

we were @ Angus Steak House for our Christmas Dinner and it was absolutely lovely. =)


::dear's main course, it was succulent and he loved it::


::my FAVOURITE oysters baked with ham and this special sauce that makes it the ONLY oyster i'll ever eat *yumz::


::our Christmas dessert::


::when i'm about to start on my food, dear insisted on a shot::


::right before we left the place::

it was freaking pricey but it was damn good. well worth it i must say!
---------------------------------------------
and on Christmas Day, we were @ church and there was a lil performance by the lil ones from the Agape Sunday school kids.


::the lil ones::

::ourselves on the way to get some last minute gifts =p::

and sermon talked about Christmas being 3G:
1. Glory - Christ's birth was a glorious event in history and every single day, we should give Him glory, praise and thanks for saving us.
2. Gladness - and when He came into the world, there were choirs of angels singing and glorifying Him, therefore we should also follow suit and have gladness in our hearts as Christmas is here.
3. Good News - His birth was good news to all because He came to sacrifice His life, so that we may all be saved and live with the Father in eternity.

| Monotony |

slightly more than 20 minutes before knock-off time and my boss had already left for the day, which is why i'm here blogging away.

today was a pretty free day, also a slow one for me. i had to fight the zzz monster BIG time because every now and then i'd feel my bed calling out for me.

doesn't time fly? just a couple of days back and there was the big-hoo-haa about Christmas, shopping and partying, and now, its all quieten down. and in a couple more days time would be the end of 2005 where we'd usher in the new year 2006. and then before anything happens, before you've even have time to take a breather, CNY is on its way too. my, what a stressful time we have here.

i still wanna go clubbing, haven't had my fair share of dancing because the time i was at the Ministry was most unsatisfying.

that aside, i'm terribly looking forward for our lil getaway @ sentosa. you know sometimes i feel the monotony of life and how it all goes by a standard routine everyday. don't you feel the same? i wanna be free, wanna be where there are no boundaries, no limits.

okok, enough crap. while i still have time, i'm gonna try to do up the rest of my skin.

| HomeSick? |

i think i miss daddy and mommy, i wish they could come home soon. it feels funny even though i'm old enough to take care of myself, i still miss them.

changed my blog skin at work just now, nice huh? already someone had commented and its made my day. =)

ok, 2 more hours to go before i need to fly home to walk my pup.

| Sexy Name |

just for fun =p

| After Thoughts About... |

Ministry of Sound:
1. nice decor, cool place, big with many private rooms. cosy toilet too with seats for you to touch up.
2. but music sucked, at least not to my liking.

Hooters:
1. pardon my previous post where i said short short skirts and low low tops. its short and tight orange hotpants and a tight tanktop.

Clarke Quay:
1. big change since i last went there
2. walked past the bungy ride thingy and dear said we should try some time soon.
*faints

received many christmas greetings and wishes but all have failed to realise the one significance of Christmas, the true meaning of why we celebrate this season.

its ain't a time of gifts-exchanging or parties,
its purely a time to celebrate the Birth of Jesus Christ.
in all that you do, please celebrate this season knowing it was His birth that gave us all Life.

Blessed Christmas everyone!

| Bogged Down |

i'm feeling bored and restless and tired now.

went to look for my manicurist yesterday just to find that she left for shanghai and will probably be there for the next couple of months until she decides that ain't the right place to be in to work.
so i had another manicurist to do my french pedi, BUT it was a total mess.
*sigh
it ain't that bad, but it wasn't as good as my previous manicurist either and to think i paid so much.
must start scouting for another quality manicurist.

i'm so bogged down by work and i'm seriously lacking sleep.

dear is already out right now, heading for home, and then to you know where with the rest of his campmates? its an army affair. com-on, make a guess.

HOOTERS!!!

i couldn't believe it at first and then i almost fainted when i saw what the invitation card read:
Time: 1830hrs to LATE

which means fun with the girls in short short skirts and low low tops. oooooooo wait till i get a hold of that sickening PS or PC who came up with this idea and i'll make sure i'll slap him upside-left-right-down.

*argh

then after that, they were thinking of heading down to MOS since its newly opened. i wanna go too, but i'll have to take leave and i dunno if my boss will approve because i've got SO much work on hand, i'm vanishing!

| 4 More Days to Christmas |

4 more days to christmas, how exciting!

was just thinking, many people have received their bonus and had like huge smiles on their faces. me? its a just a pathetic pro-rated one. i figured if i'm able to hold this job for the next year, i would be as happy, if not, happier than these people by the time i get my bonus next year.

*sigh

but things are always unexpected and unpredictable.

like how my dear was suppose to get the hotpink motorola v3 for me for christmas, and went through so much troubles just to finally reserve one, but with a twist of fate i chanced upon it and got it myself. poor thing, and now he's gotta fret about what to get me for christmas. =p

ha, am i deviating?

| New Mobile |

i got it! =)
and i can happily cancel it off from my wishlist, ha!

| Coloful Weekend |

not much pictures this year, rather, last weekend. well, but its good enough considering we left house pretty late and caught Pride & Prejudice which i have to declare, my FAVOURITE movie of the year!




ok, i know its a tad too small, but i'm real tired now, will redo it when i feel more life. =p

| Our Lil Getaway |

this time round, its gonna be a reality.

we've made reservations @ Shangri-la's Rasa Sentosa just to pamper ourselves.

a lil getaway we call it.

and our room?



its gonna be early next year. ooooooo can't wait!

| Photography |

for a start, why do some pple enjoy taking so-called "sexy" photographs of themselves?
i mean, seriously, what are they trying to prove or show?

its so funny whenever i come across those supposedly "sexy" pics, instead of being impressed by them, i get so tickled.

well, but if there's anything impressive at all, i must say i do admire their courage, and the guts to publicise it.

they call it the art of photography, how about the art of amusement?

| Happy Happy Happy!!! |

you know what day is tomorrow?

tomorrow is the day my love gets to book out after 15 long days of confinement!!!

*pops balloon

though i saw him on sunday, it was barely even 5 minutes and i couldn't hug him because he was in uniform.

*sobs

i miss him so so much i can't find any words to describe this longing pain.

things would be back to normal from tomorrow evening onwards he said.

and he's gonna bring me to so many places, eat all the things that i wanna eat, and do all the things that i wanna do.

*yippie

i'm delirious with joy!!!

and guess what?

Christmas is in exactly 10 days' time, have you done your shopping yet?

Mango's on sale. and so are many other places.

what to do what to do? i'm bursting!

lunch time and boss isn't around...i wonder where he went *tsk

| Snobbish |

its only in big organisations that you can see how harsh this whole working society is.

where only degree, honours graduate, masters holder, rank, and status matter.

i will get my degree and maybe even honours.

just watch.

you may step all over me right now because i am just a lowly diploma holder.
but when i become a graduate, be careful.

| Miss You |

i miss holding your hand.
i miss the warmth of your big hand on mine.
i miss your 'chow chow' smell.
i miss the smell of your cologne.
i miss your thunderous snoring.
i miss disturbing you (esp in the middle of the night)to bring me to the toilet.
i miss your goodnight kiss.
i miss telling you goodnight in your ear.
i miss waking up with you next to me.
i miss lazing in bed with you.
i miss having breakfast with you in pyjamas.
i miss rubbing my nose against yours.
i miss you holding me in the bus/train.
i miss your nagging.
i miss biting you.
i miss hitting you.

most importantly,i miss everything about you.

| Christmas Celebration? |

my parents are gonna be away on christmas, which leaves us three and the pup. so they were thinking of celebrating christmas. we've never had the habit of doing so, at least not at home.

dear and i always celebrate christmas, whether its just us or with his friends. and this year is exceptional, because he's got to juggle between two group of friends. which means, christmas eve is booked, and so is christmas day.

regardless, my point is, why should i give up my own culture just to suit you when you were also just looking at when his family was celebrating christmas, so we could be alternative?!

also, why should i celebrate christmas with someone who still thinks she's so darn right where all the while, i had been trying to talk to her and she keeps ignoring me?!

there's a limit. i may give in because i understand we were both at fault. but there's no way i can tolerate her persistent self-righteousness! and please, her words the other day weren't exactly kind either.

i'm just feeling all so stressed out right now, i want to run!

| Trying |

its been a very trying week, and this week, i foresee the same.
drove down yesterday just to see you, tears fell. i couldn't bare to see you confined for sucha long time. even after i left, i was still crying.

did you know that?

i miss you, i really do.

dunno how i have to go through this,
dunno why didn't you be a lil more careful.

yet after one week, you've changed.
changed to be nonchalent about me,
changed to have less to talk to me about,
changed to care watching tv more than calling me.
you deny, but the fact remains.

as it is, its painful just talking to you on the phone,
not being able to see you,
to hold you,
to touch you.

i hate you, for putting me through all these!

| Motorola V3 |

i wanna get this phone BUT its outta stock! *pouts

| Destiny |

i'm scared, i feel like giving up this race i was chosen to run.

the pressures' building up and i'm feeling the stress.

i can't perform, i need time.

i don't wanna be compelled to do things against my wishes.

please understand, i am only human.

they say its my destiny.

but i really feel like giving up this race. i really do.

its so hard when people judge every word i say and every action i make. like i'm suppose to be unfallable and the "almighty" christian.

give me a break, i need a break!

| Things I Wanna Do... |

things i wanna do when [you] book out:

1) eat bbq chicken wings
2) walk down the entire orchard road, from wheelock place to plaza sing
3) take pics with the christmas lighting
4) watch Chicken Little, and maybe King Kong?
5) go christmas shopping!
6) rent lotsa dvds and stay up to finish them one by one
7) clubbing
8) eat my favourite oyster at Angus and you'll foot the bill! ha!
9) go ktv
10) cook lotsa and lotsa calamari and gobble them up ourselves, no sharing!

*lolx

quick quick, 7 more days!

| My ScreenSaver |

::Butterfly Oasis::

this is what i look at everyday, every minute, if i'm not using the computer. its animated by the way, the butterflies move and the waterfall right at the end there moves, just that when i did a screenshot, they all don't move anymore.

i'm really bored, honest. i've been trying to find things to do to occupy myself but it doesn't help because i finish them real fast.

have i mentioned i'm real bored, i'm this close to closing my eyes, i need a pair of blunt toothpicks to keep my eyes open. i need to SLEEP!

one more hour!

| Fly |

sometimes i wish time can fly, so i wouldn't have to endure this pain.

done with all the reports i'm required to do, did a good job and pretty one at that, so am feeling a lil accomplished.

now is boredom.

and the pain of having to kill time.

then there's this poor guy who's been accused of being a loanshark, and its turned so ugly that i heard its become a police case. since then, my boss has been calling up a series of suspects and interrogated them.

*sigh

my only comment on this is that, looks can be deceiving. he may look the sort with all the mannerism, but he may not neccessarily be the culprit. what if some evil people are plotting against him? what if he's innocent? what if he's been framed?
there are so many what-ifs, and who knows how to answer all these what-ifs?
its not up to us, definitely.

i'm feeling so so low right down.

my vacation trip is officially off.

i'm not going anywhere without any guardian, my parents have made their stand loud and clear to me. its hard to accept, but i guess that's what happens when i'm the baby of the family, the lil one.

i'm feeling all so depressed right now,
can someone tell me how to live the rest of my days without my love?

| Buried |

5 minutes before i knock off.

i'm glad i had my work to bury myself in,

to forget time, to forget the missing.

9 more days, please come home soon.

| Now & Forever |

i miss you...

Now and forever
You are a part of me
And the memory cuts like a knife
Didnt we find the ecstacy
Didnt we share the daylight
When you walked into my life

Now and forever
I'll remember
All the promises still unbroken
And think about all the words between us
That never needed to be spoken

We had a moment
Just one moment
That will last beyond a dream,
Beyond a lifetime
We are the lucky ones
Some people never get to do
All we got to do
Now and forever
I will always think of you

Didnt we come together
Didnt we live together
Didnt we cry together
Didnt we play together
Didnt we love together
And together we lit up the world

I miss the tears
I miss the laughter
I miss the day we met
and all that followed after
Sometimes I wish I could always be with you
The way we used to do
Now and forever
I will always think of you
Now and forever
I will always be with you

| 2 outta 14 days |

alright, today marks the second day of his confinement. i am barely making it through. how am i gonna survive the next 12 days? i dunno.

went retail therapy with my big sis today and we combed the entire orchard road, went into every single store that sells shoes (because she was looking for this heels that she saw someone wear), and into every boutique that sells three-quarter pants (because she was also looking for one).

*faints

and now, my legs are sore, and my whole body is aching.

BUT it did help me take my mind off the pain for a couple of hours.

so i managed to buy my black tube dress, which i had been searching for high and low since i dunno when. and though it wasn't the exact piece i had in mind, i think that will have to do for now. i dunno why, but i just wanted to get one, even though i already have like many other dresses.

yes, i must stop spending.

12 more days to go.

| Lost |

on my way to work this morning, there were queues of enlistees bound for their BMT at tekong.

i thought of the first time when i was there too. i teared and it made my day blue.

its been a long time since i last felt this way. dear's punishment was out last night, and its a 14-day confinement. it starts today. and because of that, i'm feeling lost.

i always feel lost when i don't get to see him for such long periods. 2 weekends, 14 days.

will start counting down i guess.

| December |

today is the first of december, the last month of the year.
my dad drove through the whole of orchard road last night, from Tanglin Mall to the end of it at Bras Brasah. it was beautiful, and my pup was rather intrigued by the bright lightings too!

still don't have the mood or time to take pictures of the lightings this year yet, shall wait and see when will be that fine night. for a view of last year's lightings @ orchard road, do view my archives under December 2004.

i'm thinking, if i really can't get to go to bangkok, i'll still wanna leave the country for a short short relaxing trip and i'm eyeing on some small town or island nearby.
any good suggestion?

| Free Day |

my boss is on leave today, wonderful isn't it?
its good to have authority off your back sometimes, even though i can't say he's a tyrant. so while he's away, i'll cherish all that there is today, until i have to face tomorrow.
its quite gossipy in here, i guess that's what big organisations are like. pple stabbing pple in the back, hypocrites lining up the entire office, pple trying to dig secrets outta you and blah blah blah. therefore, i have to be absolutely discreet while blogging, or tongues would wag big time.
i don't think i'm doing too good myself. am still financially cripple and until i get my next pay, i don't think i'll ever be stable enough. needless to say, its got to do with my spending. i've been watching it, serious. which is why in the midst of drawing up my new year resolution, one of them is to cease online shopping because i've almost lost tons of cash. the seduction of this new age, it must stop.

and talking about my previous post, the one about my in-laws. that was in the midst of frustration that gave birth to that entry. again i stress that, as far as possible, i will try to live at peace with them.
its the whole package you see, my dear and his family/friends, they are not sold seperately when i eventually get to marry him. get the idea? and i guess its time to stop harping over something i can't change. now that i've had about 2 days to think about the whole issue, i should be stupid enough to forget how favouritism works in the family. how they spend and favour way too much on the lil sister than the 2 big boys, and also, obvious difference in treatment. anyhow, i should drop it and move on.

and about my vacation trip, i guess i can't quite go, because of the bird flu, and because no matter how big i am, i'll always still be daddy and mommy's lil girl. they're worried, and they wanna be there personally to protect me, but how to when they are bound for their own vacation? chances are slim, but i'm wishing, praying and hoping a miracle would happen. i'm just sick of working, i'm just sick of being in one place for too long, i'm just fed up and i need a break! why won't they listen, or understand? they were the ones who instilled this annual holiday thingy since i was a lil gal, and now that i'm all grown up and can make my own way there, they refuse to let me go!
my big sister said God gave us parents to guide and watch over us and they must have their reasons for not letting me go. i reckon so, but i'm still really sore about this whole thing.

i really am still a lil gal huh?

| Christmas Skin |

this was my christmas skin last year, and i've decided to put it back up again this year.

its funny how time flies and yet you still feel like you're struggling in between.

| .... |

i can't think of a title right now, maybe its because i'm terribly disturbed, or hurt if you will.

last night was bad. i walked down orchard road with all the lovely lightings all by myself, with no one with me, just myself. they were lovely, and i wished i had my special someone with me, but i didn't.

what is friendship? i'm sure, out of my 360-odd posts here, i had asked this question before and i still hadn't got the answer.

dear's friends, a bunch of guys he grew up with since primary school, would rather celebrate somebody else's girlfriend's birthday than mine, even though i had been hanging out with them more than she had. and i thought what we had was friendship. never mind about the presents, i'm not talking about materials, i just wanted wishes. simple birthday wishes, is that so hard to do? i think.
in all my being, i was as sincere as i possibly could be when it came to friendships, but i never ever get the kind of treatment back. why? its not meant to be? why issit so hard for me to even want to have some friends i can call my own? too hard.

i give up. i will never trust another person to be the kinda friend i hope he/she would be, because it just doesn't ever happen to me.

what about family, or future in-laws if you will?
suddenly a new addition to the family would have the entire family swirling in novelty and excitement. and they conveniently forget about the one who's always been there, quietly.
new things are always nicer, always more fun, always fresher. and because of that one addition, she would have her future mother-in-law serving food right to her DOORSTEP. unbelievable. i've never seen her take so much care about me when i was sick in his house. but because she's a foreigner, she's alone in this land and i would have this sort of unfair treatment.
she's never loved me as her own anyway, though i thought she did.
i wanted to meet her the first time she was here, i was just as excited as anyone in the family. but because she was sick, she was locked behind closed doors the entire day with no toilet trips, no food, and probably no water too, i couldn't meet her. fine. and when i was tired after a long long day and i didn't have the mood to meet anybody new, i was still forced to say hi to her.
obvious change of treatment? duh.
enough of competition, enough of vying for attention. enough.

issit wrong of me to think of it this way? i'm only human.

i will never expect anything from anyone ever again in this lifetime, i am after all, a visitor on this earth.

| PDL Lessons |

let's see, i stopped at lesson 4. so now here's a brief summary of what i've studied so far.

Lesson 5: God's view of Life

Life is a Test, Trust and a Temporary Assignment.

Test - God uses various trials to test us and to help us develop a God worthy character.
Trust - God wants to see how well we handle things on this earth that God has entrusted us.

Lesson 6: Life is a Temporary Assignment

as compared with eternity, our time on earth is extremely brief.
"my identity is in eternity, my homeland is in heaven"

Lesson 7: Reason for Everything

- everything on earth is God's glory
- we can bring glory to God by:
1) worshipping Him
2) becoming like CHrist
3) serving others with our gifts
4) loving other believers
5) by telling others about Him

Lesson 8: Planned for God's Pleasure

- i was made for God's pleasure
- anything that brings God's pleasure is an act of worship

Lesson 9: Smile of God

God smiles when we:
1) trust Him completely
2) obey Him wholeheartedly
3) praise and thank Him continually
4) when we use our abilities

Lesson 10: Heart of Worship

the essence of worship is:
- surrendering
- total submission to His will
- bring God pleasure

and to be able to fulfill the above conditions would require a certain level of maturity on our part.

can i do it?

| My HatchDay |

not today of course.

i find that words are getting lesser and lesser as each entry is posted. maybe its because suddenly, i feel like i'm being monitored by some psychopath that i'm unable to express how i really really feel for fear of being judged.

anyhow, i spent my birthday in a very quiet and simple way this year as compared to the party i had last year, which i personally feel, was more fulfilling.

and unlike my dearest who is pretty popular with his circle of friends, i on the other hand, had no birthday wishes except from the people closest to me of course, my family.

we caught Just Like Heaven and i thought it was a rather sweet story with a lil twist at the end. well worth the money spent. then dinner after dinner, good food after good food and i ended up taking MC yesterday due to food poisoning. *lolx

and why do i sound so rigid in my entry?


::my day @ orchard::


::my day with my family and also again @ orchard::

| Tagging |

got tagged by pat and now i have to do this.

well, if you're still wondering how many people still read your blog, this should answer your question!

5 facts about myself:

1) my skin color is natural, i never had to tan much.
2) i don't like reading (i hate going to the libraries) and sports (i have a phobia towards the track)
3) i dun have much friends, i can practically count them!
4) like pat, i spend way too much.
5) and in case you don't already know, i PMS alot!

issit my turn to tag others?
hmmm...deardear, nicole, robbie, daphne koh and hongda (that is if your gf hasn't already tagged you, ha!)

| To Go or Not To Go? |

should i go home now?

i'm gonna start cramping in approx 2 hours' time.

i'm already feeling horrible, tired and drained out.

BUT i have so much work i need to finish by today,

because my boss needs them for his meeting tomorrow.

how?

why should i even fret about a matter as small as this?

insignificant.

and i wanna watch movie this weekend, i don't care!

indeed i'm a walking contradiction.

| Day 4, Lesson 4 |

Day 4, Lesson 4: We are Made to Last Forever

1. death is only but a transition before eternal life in heaven
2. life on earth as human being is like preschool, preparing us for eternity with the Father
3. "(He) set eternity in the hearts of men" (Ecclesiastes 3:11). God gave all of us this desire of immortality when he created us, therefore its no wonder mankind, throughout centuries, have been trying ways and means to live a longer life.

i figured i actually already knew all of these teachings even before i read the book. and somehow, this book serves as a reminder of things i had put aside for too long a time.

40 days, in God's eyes, is a holy time. Jesus fasted for 40 days in the desert, resisting the devil's temptations, He became much stronger after that. i hope too, after this holy 40 days of reading the book, i will grow to be more like Jesus.

fyi, i read the book at night, which is why when i update what i've learnt, it always seems i'm a day late.

| The Purpose Driven Life & My Life |

Day 2, Lesson 2: I am not an Accident

i may not have been planned by my parents, but God had plans for me way before i was conceived in my mothers' womb.

before the world began, you were on His mind.
and every tear you cry, is precious in His sight.
because of His great love, He gave His only Son.
everything was done so you would come.

come to the Father though your gift is small.
broken hearts, broken lives,
He would take them all.
because of His great love,
He gave His only Son,
everything was done so you would come.

Day 3, Lesson 3: What is the Driving Force of My Life?

i should keep my eye on Jesus, keep my focus on Him, so that everything else will fall nicely in place.
but its tough - the cost of discipleship.
Jesus never said being his disciple was an easy task, He said to "take up your cross and follow me"!
whatever we do, we should do it unto the Lord (Col 3:23) .
focus focus focus on Jesus!

**********************************************************************

its been three days since i last saw you.
alright, i admit, its painful.
i thought i had lived through the hardest,
but three days, gave me more pain than i expected.
i want to cry at the thought of you,
but God has been good, He has sustained me.

i miss you so much,tell me how long more???

| Fight |

had a fight again last night with her.

sometimes i wonder why we fight for, especially since its always because of a guy.

we used to be really close. i've always loved her this much.
but she always thinks i'm out to harm her, hurt her, and to put her down.

she doesn't have a mind of her own when it comes to the matters of the heart.
she always puts her guy over herself and never thinks for herself.

i can't say he's a bad guy, but even up till now, this guy still gives me the vibes.
i try and try and try to accept him, but sometimes the things they do, is way overboard.

and my poor parents, being the ever kind and peaceful ones will just consent to all their unreasonable and demanding requests.

sometimes i wonder if my parents are oblivious.

he acts like he's the flesh and blood of my parents.
behaves like everything in my house is to his entitlement.
how detestable!

but if my parents keep quiet, what case have i got?

she says i'm fake. well, i'm only human.
i can only try my very best to accept things that are beyond my liking, and if i can't, i'm sorrie.
i don't think this is justified as fake.

take me to court for slander she says, because her boyfriend is now in the Police Force and knows the law. i know the law too, and if you ever dare, trust me, the Singapore Police Force will be so disgraced and so ashamed to have an officer like him who'd have to resort to abuse his authority just because he's unable to handle his personal issues.
pathetic.

all these years, since we were born, since we were sisters, i've always loved you and tried my best to take care of you.
no doubt i am over-protective, but i just want you safe.
but at 15, you started quarrelling with me over guys, over your very first boyfriend, right up to the one you call fiance now.

all these happened because i loved you too much, i cared for you too much.
and now i realise, i have to stop.

| More Pics |

::sure looks like we're in a bridal studio::


::click on it for a larger view::

| Free |

i've been wanting to write.

13 November 2005
its my turn on the much-talked-about book, The Purpose Driven Life.

lesson of the day:
1. its not about me.
2. God created us for His pleasure (Col 1:16)
*********************************************
i was late for work again today. sucks.

there's a yearly appraisal that everyone has to go through, and i'm not exempted though i've barely been there for 3 months.

i feel drained out.

i've reached my threshold level for the year, i need a break.

i need a break from LIFE!

i wanna be free, i wanna be free and happy where i can SMILE and LAUGH till every muscle in my face is cramped up!

i wanna be out there somewhere holidaying.
i need my vacation!

*hints

| Turning 21 |

another turned 21 yesterday.

it felt strange meeting up with some; people whom you were once close with.

maybe its the lack of communication, even on msn when its always "Busy" or "Away".

anyhow, for others, i had a great catch up, especially with kelvin.


::YK, pat, myself, birthday gal, daphne and kelvin::


::all from poly; though i also qualified from the 'KC primary' bunch. and bad posture on my part i must add *tsk::

*****************************************
this was long overdue.

also another 21st birthday.

just a simple and small affair.


::birthday gal's face got covered by her boyfriend!::

| Last Time |

i went to see her for the last time yesterday.

she looked peaceful.

throughout her last moments on this earth, while she was struggling with the disease, i didn't have the courage to visit her.

i didn't want to relive the agony when my grandmama was suffering from colon cancer.

she may have lost life's battle to cancer, but she has definitely won a place in heaven, just like my grandmama.

today is the crematorial service, even as i write, the service is going on.

i can't be there because of work.

God bless her soul and comfort her family.

| Passed On |

news just came, that my auntie had left us...

| Q & A |

its time for a Q & A session!
trust me, its real fun. remember to take a pen and paper to try it yah?
i'll reveal the answers tomorrow! *chuckles

1. If you went to bed at 8 at night and set the alarm to get up at 9, how many hours of sleep would you get?

2. You have 2 coins which total 30 cents. Since one of the coins is not a 10-cent coin, what are the 2 coins?

3. You are the driver of a bus. At the first stop, 13 children got on. At the 2nd stop, 5 children got off and 2 got on. At the next stop, 4 more got on and 1 sneaks off. How old is the driver?

4. How many birthdays does an average man have? How many does the average woman have?

5. Is there a law against a man marrying his widow's sister?

6. Divide 40 by a half and add 15. What is the answer?

7. According to international law, if an airplane should crash on the exact border between 2 countries, would unidentified survivors be buried in the country they were traveling to, or the country they were traveling from?

8. If you only had 1 match and entered a cold room that had a kerosene lamp, an oil heater, and a wood stove, which would you light first for maximum heat?

| Lesson |

Lesson of the week: Everything Has Its Time
Verse: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.

i may not have gotten what i wanted simply because it wasn't time yet. so don't be discouraged, and don't be disheartened, try again!

| Conviction |

its been a stressful week, and tomorrow will end it all. i'm glad in a way, but i just can't help the tension.

for all who love me, please do not put high hopes on me. all i can say is, i'll do my best.

anyway, we've been attending church faithfully the last couple of weeks, praise the Lord for that! =)

Jesus shall take the highest honour,
Jesus shall take the highest place
let all men join Heaven in exalting
the Name which is above all other names

let's bow our knee in humble adoration
for at His name
every knee must bow
let all tongue confess
He is Christ God's only Son,
Sovereign Lord we give You glory now

for all honour, and blessing and power
belongs to You, belongs to You
for all honour, and blessing and power
belongs to You, belongs to You
Lord Jesus Christ You are the Son of the living God

i got convicted by the Holy Spirit today and tears were flowing freely during worship. it was then i realised how far i've drifted from the Lord despite His faithfulness. i need to be broken once again, i need to rekindle the passion, the lost fire.

in all of my being, i want to honour Your name.

help me burn for You once again.

| 0930 |

friday morning and its raining cats and dogs.

i was late.

its my 5th time this month, i'm so screwed.

well, but its friday!



his name is also Baby.

he's 6 months old, and is the "child" of this couple friend of ours. *laughz

| After Camping |

::when morning came...::


::feeling artistic::

the rest of the pictures, the rest of the story, you can read them all on my dear's blog. i think he did a pretty decent story-telling about our first adventure together. *winks

| So Exciting! |

i'm so excited for tonight's overnight camping cum bbq!!!

even though my boy is sick and he doesn't seem excited about it, i still am! *laughz

and even at work right now, i keep thinking of the nature, the bbq food that i'd prepared, and we're like gonna be in the wilderness, its practically my first time!

ooooo can't wait!

| Updates |

promise, this will be a whole chuck of updates.

1. my auntie's condition seems to be getting worse. dad thinks she may not make it through chinese new year. its so sad. chemotherapy has made her lose all her hair, and i haven't had the courage to go visit her since news broke out about her cancer.
i'm not strong enough. seeing her may just make me burst into tears and i'm not about to let that happen.
Father have mercy on her, like how You showed mercy on my grandmama. though cancer is painful, knowing You are always near will give them courage to face whatever that may come.

2. my boy turned 23 yesterday, and fell sick also at the same time. as a result of that, we skipped clubbing tonight. not sucha big deal because we'll be heading down mambo this wed @ good old Zouk since thursday is PH.

3. swimming today was disrupted, not by the weather, but by this unsound boy who was in the pool that kept giving me weird looks and the vibes. he may have turned violent so after barely 6 laps, we left. dear was so pissed and so mad because he felt my safety was jeopardized, and also because he knew how rare i would have a craving to exercise. well at least my body ain't aching so bad anymore, and besides, i did go for an express pedicure, so that should be consolation enough. =)

4. this coming week is gonna be so happening because we get 2 PH in the same week! and dear and i are also planning an overnight camping cum bbq by the beach, under the stars. monday night through tuesday morning, its our first outdoor stay so we're pretty excited about it. pitching the tent and all, which by the way, had been sucha long time ago.

5. i realised its been a long long time since i last posted pictures on my blog (apart from the levi's fashion show thingy). we used to take pictures of any and everything but these few months had been so d-e-a-d that my blog has become so filled with words and no colors!!!

6. again, i would like to clarify that i do NOT love louis vuitton, nor do i like them. i merely just like their very cute mini speedy bag. its sssssoooooo adorable you know!!!

7. and after i receive my bags, i am SO gonna cancel my account with ebay and never do auctions again. promise promise promise.

did i miss out anything else? hmmm...i dun remember except that i know i'm suppose to blog about last week's sermon but i left my notes at home, i'm @ dear's house now. so i guess i'll blog it together with tomorrow's sermon.

oh and is my new blog skin nice? dear chose it for me. *hee


::for keepsake::


::i'm a lil gal!::

| Happy HatchDay my Love |

this goes out to the dearest one in my life:

Happy Hatchday Dearie!!!
hope you like prezzies i got you!
*chuckles

not young anymore huh, better start making plans for the future liao hor...

| Migraine |

i'm having a terrible migraine on the left side of my head. this feels so horrible especially since its been throbbing my head since late morning.
i have approximately half an hour before i knock off and thank God my daddy is coming to pick me up. my toes are hurting too, because of darn Pretty Fits' heels, i'll NEVER buy from them again, ever!

i'm so whiny today because i dun have enough sleep, i just want to laze on my bed and sleep!

| Inspire Envy - New Princess Fit |

and so we were there, the Levi's Lady Style Fall 2005 Fashion Show @ Raffles City. failed to get someone to go with me, and in the end, i got my good old faithful best friend along - my fiance. *heh
at least, i know he never fails.

it was cool, pretty gala and glam, with all the ang moh models. pity i forgot my digi or there would have been more pictures than what i have to offer.


::before the start of the fashion show::


::still waiting for the start of the fashion show::


::this is what the stage looked like before the start of the show::


::only one final shot @ the end of the show::

the entire show took barely half an hour, and yet they'd showcased the latest princess fit(s) that they already have in stores, and those on the way to stores somewhere next month.
we got a nice lil charm bracelet from Elle (who was the sponsor) and also a lil notebook from Levi's as door gifts, nice.

hmmm which reminds me, my birthday is coming soon, and that means birthday discounts @ Levi's, Topshop, Mango and la-di-da-di-da...i'm going broke!

| I'm So Bored! |

i have nothing to do, why won't anyone gimme anything to do? how am i gonna pass the next 8 hours doing nothing? *cries

i just wanna have something to do so that time would pass faster, i'm sick of not doing anything anymore!

| Ebay |

you see, the problem after finding a stable job comes excessive spending on nonsensical stuff. stuff that i dun need, stuff that i simply want.

but before i carry on, i want to apologise to my dearest fiance.

baby, i'm sorrie about that post last night. i just needed an outlet to ease my emotions, it was hard for me to contain. i hope you understand that opening this blog, i intent to keep it until the day we grow old, so we can look back and laugh at the things we did, that happened, and all that made us love each other more.
you weren't all that bad. you've been good to me, and i could never have asked for anyone else, apart from you, to be the one in my life.
besides, if i were to open a blog and not write things that happen, then this blog would be like most others where people just boast and show off the things they do and all that, you know what i mean?
please forgive me. *kneeling, pulling my ear and begging for forgiveness

ok, now i can carry on.

wanna know what i've been busy with the last couple of days? i was into auctioning @ ebay. i've mentioned briefly in my previous post, but now, i'm going a lil further.

honestly, they do have a WIDE and HUGE variety of stuff, branded, non-branded, designer, non-designer. you name it, they have it. but the real problem with them i guess, is their sub-company, PayPal. its easy, its fast, its also furiously dangerous.

no. of times i almost got cheated: 2x
no. of emails i'd sent to harrass PayPal to get my money back: 30

yet despite of these all, i just couldn't stop trying to win the bid!
(like what was wrong with me??)

no. of bids i'd won: 4
no. of items on its way: none

you see what i mean? after you've made payment, they might not send the items to you after all. or perchance, they send the wrong items, or not like the ones they claimed on ebay, then the hussle of returning and getting a refund and blah blah blah, just gets on your nerves.

in short, i'd learn my lesson. and now i'll just keep my fingers, toes, hands and legs crossed that i'll receive the items soon, and then it'll be the last you'll see of me ever on ebay shopping. EVER.

we're heading out to jalan kayu for supper in approximately 20 minutes.

| Materialistic? |

i often ask myself that question, am i materialistic? am i like how most girls are, materialistic? girls who'd go for rich guys, or just normal guys and who'd squeeze every single cent outta their pathetic state?

i dare to say no.

at least i buy most things myself, i buy my own branded goods, i pamper myself with all those expensive gifts, gifts that your partner is suppose to get for you by default. i'm not proud, but at the very least, its my own money that i'm spending on.
i dun ask for anything expensive. anything i set my eyes on, i get it myself.

i've been with my fiance for 4 years, close to 4 and a half years, and the only times i'd received expensive gifts from him was when he saved real hard, or when he was working. now that he's serving the nation, i dun expect anything from him. i am, after all, working and feeding myself.

i just want to say that i'm an independent woman. i earn my own money, i spend my own money. unlike most girls who'd be designer-brand-crazy right now, i am not because i am highly selective.

that aside, i just want to express my frustration.

i didn't change. i am not being materialistic. i'm only a girl, who'd want to be pampered after looking at all those couples around us. maybe i shouldn't be comparing but i'm envious, definitely i am. the way their guys treat them, give them wonderful surprises, bring them on holidays, buy them expensive gifts. what have you done for me? i'm not complaining, but the least you can do is STOP thinking i'm materialistic. i am NOT!

you can't even confirm the dates for our year-end bangkok trip. we're reaching the end of october, and tickets run out exceptionally fast during the last quarter of the year.
i won't be surprised if we dun get to go eventually.
my birthday is coming but i honestly dun wanna hope or expect.

please do this for youself, if not for me, SAVE up!!!

i'm going to bed. goodnight.

| @ work |

i'm @ work now. its a boring day but at least boss ain't gonna be around because he's on leave. he's always on leave. that's good for me. BUT this time round, he's given me work to do, and i'm in the midst of it. some profit & loss forecast thingy for the next 3 years. i have no idea how to do it at all man. well, shall just stone until i feel like doing.

i was on ebay last night, bidded for an LV bag just for fun, and man i actually got it? i dun really like it and yet i got it? *damn

guess i dun have a choice, maybe i'll sell it off or something. whatever, or give it to my mom for christmas present? yeah i'll work something out.

but honestly, auctions are surprisingly fun. but i hope i dun get addicted like how i got addicted to VS.

alright, enough of crapping. gotta get back to work. later then.

| Long TIme |

yeah, its been a long while...

didn't get to ice-skate as planned last saturday. feeling: sucky
didn't get to buy my foundation. feeling: ugly
didn't get to buy my red brolly. feeling: wet

(by the way, which is better, esprit or mango?)

didn't get to do anything memorable last weekend. feeling: unaccomplished

i guess what i'm really trying to say is that, last weekend sucked big time because of poor planning, poor coordination and serious lack of integrity. i mean like comon, you gave your word, you dun just forsake your friends for girls?! its sick.

and not to mention i was and still am pmsing BIG time and i could explode any minute. my head spins in huge circles, i get super tired and drowsy at all times of the day. i'm trying to abstain from cold drinks but try telling that to the not-so-cooperative weather.

i've got tons of stuff i need to get but am hanging on till i get my pay, hopefully next week. and loads of bills to clear, my credit card bills, handphone bills and erm, actually that's it. BUT they add up to hundreds ok? living in singapore ain't cheap.

ohoh, but guess what? the only thing that really made my day was getting Anna Sui's Secret Wish perfume. well, i dun adore it but since dear's best friend was like so helpful, i thought why not? so am just waiting to meet up with him to get it. heard he got a lil handbag, minature, body lotion and bath gel for me too. *hee all for the price of one bottle.

and can i just add that i do NOT like LV, i dun, honest. it just doesn't appeal to me except for that cute lil mini handbag. *aaawwww
christian dior and burberry appeals more to me. yup, just wanted to clarify that.

alright enough said. gonna get some food.

| New Place |

this is my first post from my new office. hmmm this feels weird because i used to blog in my old office, guess it just reminds me of the times i'd spent there.

time flies, its been about 3 months odd since i left. sometimes i wonder how things are going in there, miss the aunties, miss the place where i used to sit and all that stuff.

BUT we must move on.

i'm learning alot in this new place. a big organisation, gives me a feel of how things are run differently. i'm thankful for this opportunity.

i'm heading to town after work to collect my ring, get some necessities and maybe go up and visit my old office? we'll see.

hours to go before knock off: 1 hour
hours to go before ice-skating tomorrow: less than 24 hours

ha, i LOVE fridays!

| Congrats to you, Bim! |

oh man, i just have to blog this down, for memory sake. *evil laughter

my deardear has this friend, from primary school all the way till now, but they kinda stopped contacting each other because the girl that he always brought along to our outings had this serious problem with staring at girls, especially at yours truly. she was kinda like a scanner, scanning every detail of the clothes i wear, my shoes and the bags that i carry, what color pedicure i did and all that bimbotic stuff.

*argh

and i'd always get real frustrated and stare right back at her issuing her with somewhat like a challenge cum warning. ha and she'd always become like a timid mouse and look away.

i'm aware i've deferred once again.

back to my story.

so, they always came out together as 'friends'.

BUT now, they are finally together.

*disgusted

so gross right? like after her years of tagging along does she finally get a name, GIRLFRIEND. what a poor thing.

oh well, i must congratulate them nevertheless, especially to that bimbo.

*sniggers

man, am i just mean or mean?

i know, i'm sucha baddie. *evil laugher

| Tired Tired Tired |

i want to complain.

my eyes are going blind from the multitudes of figures i have to face everyday at work, which explains why i am blogging less and less.

plus, my office com is still not linked up to the internet yet! its been ages!!!

*argh

BUT the good thing is, my boss is going on leave, so this week no government. *yay

and i'm so sleepy and so tired, i have to put toothpicks between my eyes or i'll miss my favourite korean drama!!!

| Pissed |

i just have to blog this down even though my eyes can barely open, and every bit of my muscle and cell are breaking down and telling me i have to sleep if not they will degenerate.

there's this instructor of mine whom i absolutely detest. he's a skinny man who is seriously health-conscious and is freaking strict and fierce when it comes to driving. i honestly think he's got problems with female drivers coz he shouts at me, gets pissed at me, ignores me and sometimes even gives me attitude when i ignore him! what rubbish?!
first of all, its not like as if i had a choice in who i want my instructors to be, although i could but i dun see a point in spending an additional 8 bucks on that.
right, and i'm deferring again.
so i've been, unfortunately, getting him for the past couple of lessons and i tell you, sitting with him in the car just makes me ill. i totally have no mood whatsoever to drive. so i delibrately make the car jerk like nobody's business just to annoy him, and he'll be shouting like "clutch it! clutch it!". like come on, dun i know that? it was on purpose, STUPID!!! *laughz and i also mount the kerbs just so he'd get frustrated and go like "your turning is too wide". duh i know that! i just want to annoy every cell in your body so that you will automatically opt not to teach yours truly, ever again!

*argh

and last of all, he also never fails to make me feel lousy of myself. i know i ain't sucha fantastic driver, and perhaps i'm a lil slow when it comes to parallel parking, yeah by the way, i kinda suck big time at that, but i'm cool with the rest. honest.
all i need is some patience.

| Unwell |

skipped work today, coz i fell ill.
slept the entire day, no kidding.
and i still feel horrible.

anywayz, its gonna be friday tomorrow.
TGIF!
am gonna enjoy it even though i'm sick.

oh and we might be gonna catch 40 year-old virgin.
ha! the title alone sounds hilarious. *laughz

alright, gonna get back to my rest.

| Morning |

yesterday's morning reminded me of the time when i was in kuching, sarawak for a youth camp. that was a long time ago, about 6-7 years back. the mornings there were cool with the sun still shining, it was a pretty place because the camp site was somewhat in the middle of the forest.

i thought of the kind of passion i had then, for the Lord. i was alot younger then. and thinking about it brought guilt.

i long to find the lost fire.
i want to burn for Him like i did before.

why issit that when one is younger, doing things are alot easier?
no stress, no consequences.
the temptation of the world, this secular world.

| Ages |

yes, its been a long time since i really blogged. haven't had the time since i started work at this new place. all is well and i thank God for the locality, the people and even the pay. i pray this will be my final stop before i embark on my degree come year 2007.

it ain't long and it ain't short, but i'm going and that's that. i've waited and wasted my time while i see my peers almost completing their own degree, i feel a sense of envy at times. but to each its own, no use rushing when the time isn't up.

oh and i've booked my driving test. finally. seemed like it was never gonna happen, and i'm rather amazed at myself for being this brave to do it when i said i was going to. guess i didn't wanna disapppoint my parents.
so it will be somewhere early next month, and if i'm lucky enough, i'll be driving before my birthday? we'll see.

alright, enough said. its monday blues.