sending him to the interchange for the second time after 4 weeks still made me cry. *sobs* maybe its because i'm pms-ing and therefore the high emotions but, the feeling was definitely lousy, and i feel so lonely once again. to make things worse, his supposedly half-a-day confinement next weekend might just burn up the whole weekend, making it yet another 2 weeks before i see him again. why must it always be fortnightly? why can't it be weekly? i'm extremely depressed right now, and this depression might just go on until my hormones go into a final rage before bursting. shan't explain the obvious. *sigh* once again, my heart feels so heavy, and every breath i take is with a sense of difficulty. my neck is still sprained even though its much better. i'm just whining and complaining coz that's what i usually do when i'm pms-ing, so just give in to me alright? i'll try not to pick any fight with anyone, and try not to fly into an unreasonable rage, i'll try not to cry unnecessarily and also not to snap at anyone. i shall try my very best to control this horrible varied group of physical and psychological symptoms, including abdominal bloating, headache, fatigue, irritability, anxiety, and depression, that occur from 2 to 7 days before the onset of menstruation and cease shortly after menses begins.
Wedding Ticker
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Saturday, October 30, 2004
::OT on a saturday?!::
the only weekend i get to spend with my baby, and i might have to do OT just to serve these stupid aunties and uncles?! amazing! i'm so mad! *fuming* like comon, gimme a break alright? my boyfriend might be confined again next week you know? and sometimes money just cannot buy happiness, it cannot buy the time i could have spent with my baby! every minute and every second is just so precious. so what if you pay me double on saturdays? its not enough, time is never enough with him. time passes so incredibly fast when i'm with him, just like our love in the beginning. *smiling foolishly at the computer* alright, enough silliness. kate's in town, just for today, and she'll be flying off tonight. in the meantime, biscuit's gonna have to accompany her. i feel so bad i can't accompany her, because she's like after all closer to me? i hope she'll understand my plight and like forgive me for it. *asking for forgiveness*
Friday, October 29, 2004
::he's out!::
OMIGOD!!! my baby's out!!! *screaming* as of this moment, as i'm posting this blog, he's on the ferry reaching mainland!!! i cannot contain my happiness and excitement, i'm exploding!!! *screaming even louder* no one has any idea how much i've been missing and pining for him since the day he was gone. is this true?! i find it so hard to believe that he's finally out! like my senses have been numbed since the day i sent him in! alright, calm down. i'm gonna see him in like an hour's time (hopefully), so calm down and prepare to meet my prince. *gleeful smile*
::ladder 49::
deardear wants to watch this show on saturday, *hint hint* i don't mind as long as he pays for it, hee! *tongue sticking out* oh i just can't wait for him to be out!
::pple laugh at me *pouts*::
people laughed at my sprained neck when i was at the pharmacy. *pouts* so mean right? the pharmist and the cashier were laughing at me. i asked her for something stronger that will relieve the pain and sore almost immediately, and so she did. but after sticking it on for 2 hours, i can still feel the sore in my neck. is the plaster working? sad to say, no. *shaking head* oh well, but i'll be magnanimous to forgive those pple who were gloating over my misfortune.
deardear hasn't called yet since i last spoke with him this morning, and i'm wondering why. he said his free time would most probably be around 3 plus in the afternoon, which is about now. *sigh* sometimes i think the army's like really screwed up. oh well, but since they'll be making a man out of my boy, i should just shut up. *zipping up my mouth*
nonsense aside, i think i'm really not feeling well ever since i caught a cold, and like ever since i sprained my neck early in the morning. and i'm feeling so sleepy at work *dozing off*, dunno why, maybe its partly because of the cold weather and its making me feel so drowsy. anyway, did i mention work? what work? i'm doing nothing. i'm paid to blog, dress nicely, sit in the office to look pretty, eat and drink, wait till its time to go off, yah that's what i do all day long in the office. and once in a while when the members do come, i just say hi and chit-chat with them. yah that's about my job scope. cool huh? anyway, this is really getting boring. i should really consider writing a thesis on some subject and then maybe that will take time off. any ideas anyone?
deardear hasn't called yet since i last spoke with him this morning, and i'm wondering why. he said his free time would most probably be around 3 plus in the afternoon, which is about now. *sigh* sometimes i think the army's like really screwed up. oh well, but since they'll be making a man out of my boy, i should just shut up. *zipping up my mouth*
nonsense aside, i think i'm really not feeling well ever since i caught a cold, and like ever since i sprained my neck early in the morning. and i'm feeling so sleepy at work *dozing off*, dunno why, maybe its partly because of the cold weather and its making me feel so drowsy. anyway, did i mention work? what work? i'm doing nothing. i'm paid to blog, dress nicely, sit in the office to look pretty, eat and drink, wait till its time to go off, yah that's what i do all day long in the office. and once in a while when the members do come, i just say hi and chit-chat with them. yah that's about my job scope. cool huh? anyway, this is really getting boring. i should really consider writing a thesis on some subject and then maybe that will take time off. any ideas anyone?
::i sprained neck!::
i woke up this morning with a seriously sprained neck! *ouch* my actions and movements are so limited now, and i can't even turn my head as and when i want! i was thinking of taking the day off but i didn't want my bosses to think i was faking it up, because it was, after all, quite amusing. *lol* it was much worse in the morning when i just woke up, i couldn't move, and it was so painful, i almost cried! i don't usually cry when i hurt myself or something, but if its really painful, i would. like there was one incident at chinatown, i was with my boyfriend and my sister. a very sentitive part of my body bumped into this stupid short pole, and i just burst out crying! i couldn't stop crying, and my boyfriend was trying so hard not to laugh, but my sister was already laughing her head off! i was in so much pain and here they were laughing at me?! i was so hurt, i cried even more, like a baby. *lol* my boyfriend finally got over his laughing fit and came to sayang me. stupid boy! coming back to my sprained neck, the pain is killing me! maybe i really should take half the day off? i'm even amazed at myself for reaching work in one piece, impressive huh? anyway, whether my boyfriend's able to book-out tonight or not is still unknown. he hasn't spoken to his platoon commander yet because he wasn't in his office, so we'll just have to wait and see. *keeping fingers and toes crossed* really hope he can come out tonight, i miss him so much! and i want him to massage my neck for me, hee! *tongue sticking out*
Thursday, October 28, 2004
::a phonecall at last::
i finally received a phonecall from my baby in the afternoon! its exhilarating to be watching my mobile blink his name for the first time in a week! and even more breathless when i heard him call me baby for the first time in eons! his voice was full of energy and happiness, i was just so thrilled when i heard him, i teared. *sobs* he's suppose to book-out tomorrow night but because of negligence on his part, he will have to be confined for half a day in camp while the rest of his mates get to book out. so he might not be able to book out tomorrow night. i dunno. its not confirmed yet. he has yet to speak to the platoon commander, who will decide if he gets his confinement this week or the following week. *keeping fingers crossed* oh Lord, please let confinement be next week, i'll go crazy if i still dun get to see him tomorrow night. carelessness caused this confinement, hopefully this silly boy of mine will learn his mistake and never repeat it again. so tonight i will be home alone again. *rubbing eyes* dark and heavy clouds are gathering again, its making me miss my baby even more and my flu even worse *sniff sniff*. alright enough said, at least he's safe and sound.
::happy hatchday baby!::
Twenty-two years ago,
God planted a seed for a baby boy to be sent to earth.
Along with this boy came love and intelligence,
wherefore he would become a great leader,
who would earn reverence and respect from his peers.
With a heart full of love waiting to be shared,
there he finds his princess.
Adoration and love fill this little couple,
as they spend loving days together.
A fairy tale made in heaven,
it is God's bliss for them.
And now twenty-two years later,
this boy has grown,
to be the man of my dreams,
fightly bravely for his country and for his gal,
He'll always be a baby in my eyes.
Happy Hatchday my baby,
i love you! ~PrincessWylyn
God planted a seed for a baby boy to be sent to earth.
Along with this boy came love and intelligence,
wherefore he would become a great leader,
who would earn reverence and respect from his peers.
With a heart full of love waiting to be shared,
there he finds his princess.
Adoration and love fill this little couple,
as they spend loving days together.
A fairy tale made in heaven,
it is God's bliss for them.
And now twenty-two years later,
this boy has grown,
to be the man of my dreams,
fightly bravely for his country and for his gal,
He'll always be a baby in my eyes.
Happy Hatchday my baby,
i love you! ~PrincessWylyn
::day 7::
day 7:
still no news from my boy, no phonecall no nothing. its the 7th day of his outfield and his birthday today, and yet i dun even know where is he or when is he coming back. i caught a cold, and i'm feeling really horrible. and things in the office aren't making me feel better. "oh God, i have an ill-divining soul" i think pple in the office probably think that biscuit is far more capable and competent than i am considering the length of time she's been here, and i hate the feeling of comparison. not that they are comparing us, but needless to say, there are bound to be some preference. no doubt i was here longer but so what? and so what if my bosses are gonna be sending me to japan and not her? i won't be surprised if at the end of it they send her instead of me for the simple fact that i am more passive when it comes to certain things. heck, like it matters. whatever! i can't wait to see the look on their faces the day i hand in my resignation letter. some gratitude would be nice. like remember who was it who stuck through with them from nothing, to the opening ceremony, to what they are now. i may not have played a huge role, but at least i didn't abandon them when they needed me the most. ingrats! and just because she needs someone to type chinese characters and i didn't volunteer she gives me this look like as if i'm lazy?! comon, i sux when it comes to chinese alright, and besides i'm not feeling well. like as if she doesn't know my chinese ain't fantastic, and since biscuit's level of chinese far surpasses mine, she'll definitely make the better choice, isn't it? *duhz* there's so many other reasons why she's just making me feel so worthless here in this little office. guess i'll just stick on in here until the end of this year and it'll be goodbye. and don't say there weren't any signs.
still no news from my boy, no phonecall no nothing. its the 7th day of his outfield and his birthday today, and yet i dun even know where is he or when is he coming back. i caught a cold, and i'm feeling really horrible. and things in the office aren't making me feel better. "oh God, i have an ill-divining soul" i think pple in the office probably think that biscuit is far more capable and competent than i am considering the length of time she's been here, and i hate the feeling of comparison. not that they are comparing us, but needless to say, there are bound to be some preference. no doubt i was here longer but so what? and so what if my bosses are gonna be sending me to japan and not her? i won't be surprised if at the end of it they send her instead of me for the simple fact that i am more passive when it comes to certain things. heck, like it matters. whatever! i can't wait to see the look on their faces the day i hand in my resignation letter. some gratitude would be nice. like remember who was it who stuck through with them from nothing, to the opening ceremony, to what they are now. i may not have played a huge role, but at least i didn't abandon them when they needed me the most. ingrats! and just because she needs someone to type chinese characters and i didn't volunteer she gives me this look like as if i'm lazy?! comon, i sux when it comes to chinese alright, and besides i'm not feeling well. like as if she doesn't know my chinese ain't fantastic, and since biscuit's level of chinese far surpasses mine, she'll definitely make the better choice, isn't it? *duhz* there's so many other reasons why she's just making me feel so worthless here in this little office. guess i'll just stick on in here until the end of this year and it'll be goodbye. and don't say there weren't any signs.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
::day 6::
day 6:
its finally like the 6th day of my boyfriend's outfield! i'm surprised i even survived this far. must have been the strength of the Lord. there were pretty much packing to be done in the store, which is why i'm only able to blog seriously now. there has been much talk about the halloween party at zouk this saturday, strong urge to be there. but i'll wait and see what deardear wants to do when he books out. he'll still be priority.
biscuit came back today with the news that the nokia shop in tampines accepts sale of mobile via instalments. i'm thinking if i should get my boyfriend's dream phone for him for his birthday? its definitely pricey when you add the instalments which will take place over the duration of 12 months. but monthly-wise, its pretty affordable. so i'm still considering. besides the timing of the shop is really off, clashes with my working hours totally. i reckon the only day i could go down to get it would be on saturday? which means it would be a belated gift? deardear's birthday is tomorrow! where is wisdom when i need it? compose myself. calm down. i will find a way out. there will be a way out. no worries yah? *living in self-denial*
and today at work i wrote a letter to my deardear. got the inspiration from today's devotion on daily bread. it tells us that God hears and sees all prayers, whether written, murmured under the breath or whispered in the heart. for the simple reason that God is omni-potent.:) there you have it, daily bread for the soul *chuckling*.
its finally like the 6th day of my boyfriend's outfield! i'm surprised i even survived this far. must have been the strength of the Lord. there were pretty much packing to be done in the store, which is why i'm only able to blog seriously now. there has been much talk about the halloween party at zouk this saturday, strong urge to be there. but i'll wait and see what deardear wants to do when he books out. he'll still be priority.
biscuit came back today with the news that the nokia shop in tampines accepts sale of mobile via instalments. i'm thinking if i should get my boyfriend's dream phone for him for his birthday? its definitely pricey when you add the instalments which will take place over the duration of 12 months. but monthly-wise, its pretty affordable. so i'm still considering. besides the timing of the shop is really off, clashes with my working hours totally. i reckon the only day i could go down to get it would be on saturday? which means it would be a belated gift? deardear's birthday is tomorrow! where is wisdom when i need it? compose myself. calm down. i will find a way out. there will be a way out. no worries yah? *living in self-denial*
and today at work i wrote a letter to my deardear. got the inspiration from today's devotion on daily bread. it tells us that God hears and sees all prayers, whether written, murmured under the breath or whispered in the heart. for the simple reason that God is omni-potent.:) there you have it, daily bread for the soul *chuckling*.
::i'm so hungry!::
i'm starving! i'm so hungry, i'm waiting for my lunch to be sent here. my parents are on their way, and they're getting me some world famous teochew mee and tuk-tuk kway. looks like biscuit and myself are in luck today huh? *chuckling* i'm so hungry!!! where are they? when the food comes, it'll probably not be enough for me because i think i can eat a whole chicken right now. alright alright, compose myself. i'll update you guys later.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
::angry::
i'm at home posting this blog, where anger is just waiting to explode. who would anger PrincessWylyn at home? not that hard to guess huh? it started this morning actually, just that i thought i'd settle scores with her when i get home today, and so i did. last sunday morning, i woke up early to do my laundry. as a form of compromise, i only do my laundry every fortnight, while she does it every other day as long as the washing machine is free, why? because she does her boyfriend's laundry as well. disgusting. so last sunday was my turn, and i was happy to do so. hung my clothes out bright and early in the morning, the sun came, but only for awhile before it started pouring again. so i had to bring them in, and let the wind do the job. the next morning, my clothes were already kept, who did it? not hard to guess again. never mind, i don't wanna pick a fight with her, as long as she had the decency to check if all my clothes were dry, i'm ok. but i guess i was wrong, how could i have such good opinion of her even though she's my flesh and blood? again i am wrong. she is the single most difficult person to live with, i seriously wonder how long can i last in the same house with her? i only checked my newly-washed clothes this morning just to find that all of them were still damp. oh god, what is wrong with her?! and when i confronted her, guess what she said?
princess: who kept my clothes yesterday?
::silence::
princess: i dunno what's wrong with you, you're already on holiday, you must purposely wash your clothes just the day after i do mine. you're being difficult isn't it?
her: excuse me. as far as i'm concerned, its already dry. its been hung there for so many days already.
princess: so many days? it wasn't even there for a day! why must you be so difficult? you have all the time in the world to do your laundry, i still need to work you know? you think i'm so free to keep doing my laundry issit?
her: wah, you think you're the only one who has clothes to wash issit? i no need to change my clothes lah? everyday wear the same clothes lah issit? anyway i just felt like washing, so i wash lor.
princess: oh god! selfish and unreasonable freak!
her: yah shut up bitch!
*mouth wide open* that's my sister for you. i'm quite ashame to call her family actually. most of the time, she's non-existent to me. and my mom, well she doesn't wanna be involved, so keeping quiet is the best policy. but i tend to take it as she's on her side since she is after all, the slower child and the most abnormal of us all. *bursting with anger* can someone enlighten me? can someone direct me? can someone teach me how to deal with her? can someone just tell me how to live with such a difficult and unreasonable person? can someone just save me please? *pleading*
princess: who kept my clothes yesterday?
::silence::
princess: i dunno what's wrong with you, you're already on holiday, you must purposely wash your clothes just the day after i do mine. you're being difficult isn't it?
her: excuse me. as far as i'm concerned, its already dry. its been hung there for so many days already.
princess: so many days? it wasn't even there for a day! why must you be so difficult? you have all the time in the world to do your laundry, i still need to work you know? you think i'm so free to keep doing my laundry issit?
her: wah, you think you're the only one who has clothes to wash issit? i no need to change my clothes lah? everyday wear the same clothes lah issit? anyway i just felt like washing, so i wash lor.
princess: oh god! selfish and unreasonable freak!
her: yah shut up bitch!
*mouth wide open* that's my sister for you. i'm quite ashame to call her family actually. most of the time, she's non-existent to me. and my mom, well she doesn't wanna be involved, so keeping quiet is the best policy. but i tend to take it as she's on her side since she is after all, the slower child and the most abnormal of us all. *bursting with anger* can someone enlighten me? can someone direct me? can someone teach me how to deal with her? can someone just tell me how to live with such a difficult and unreasonable person? can someone just save me please? *pleading*
::alone at work::
i'm this close to dying of boredom because biscuit isn't here to accompany me! *screaming* and its not even 6pm yet?! time sure is crawling today, plus the bad weather, its running chills down every part of my body. i'm so cold..so bored..so lonely..i dunno what else to say. but since i'm crazy over chinese songs now, i've been listening to jay chou's songs again. his other song, an jing, it means silence. and listening to it almost brought tears to my eyes for the hundredth time *sob sob*. let me just do a quick translation of the song.
this song sings about a relationship gone bad. the gal apparently found someone new and has no qualms about leaving her current boyfriend. and her boyfriend is trying to tell her that if her new guy is able to love her more than himself, then he'll have no choice but to force himself to leave her. because her boyfriend's not able to forgive her and accept her new guy, and since she's already long gone, he'll slowly move on. he also tells her not to worry about him, and that he will carry on living his life. all because he loves her too much.
周杰伦 Chow, Jay Jou
词曲：周杰伦
安静
只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴 安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道 你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我 也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开
你要我说多难堪 我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份 包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多 我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开 我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份 安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你 是因为我太爱你
must love always end this way? i'm so confused. people always say if you love someone, you gotta learn to let them go. is that true? what about those who admire and love someone from far? they never find the courage to tell them how they feel, they lose a perfect chance just like that. what if she was just waiting for you to ask? never mind about the lost chance, if fate really exists, and destiny has it that those two will eventually come together even after years, and then what happens to all those so-called lost loves? again, i'm lost for words *tongue sticking out* dunno what am i talking about. *blah* enough said. *tsk*
this song sings about a relationship gone bad. the gal apparently found someone new and has no qualms about leaving her current boyfriend. and her boyfriend is trying to tell her that if her new guy is able to love her more than himself, then he'll have no choice but to force himself to leave her. because her boyfriend's not able to forgive her and accept her new guy, and since she's already long gone, he'll slowly move on. he also tells her not to worry about him, and that he will carry on living his life. all because he loves her too much.
周杰伦 Chow, Jay Jou
词曲：周杰伦
安静
只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴 安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道 你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我 也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开
你要我说多难堪 我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份 包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多 我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开 我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份 安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你 是因为我太爱你
must love always end this way? i'm so confused. people always say if you love someone, you gotta learn to let them go. is that true? what about those who admire and love someone from far? they never find the courage to tell them how they feel, they lose a perfect chance just like that. what if she was just waiting for you to ask? never mind about the lost chance, if fate really exists, and destiny has it that those two will eventually come together even after years, and then what happens to all those so-called lost loves? again, i'm lost for words *tongue sticking out* dunno what am i talking about. *blah* enough said. *tsk*
::day 5::
day five:
another cold and wet morning, or should i say day? the train journey today was pleasant with no strange character popping outta nowhere and scolding the shit outta me. still no news from my baby for obvious reasons, no mobile allowed during field trips. his birthday is coming, in 2 days time. if calculation is correct, the last day of his outfield would be on his birthday. and hopefully he would be able to book out on that night, because the missing is just getting harder to contain anymore. he didn't leave me any messages when he left, just a phonecall. and its hard for me to be strong because i have nothing to hold on to except the past, and all the old messages.
that aside, biscuit's on leave today, because her boyfriend just returned from a 50-day training in hawaii. so she's gonna be spending quality time with him i guess. ah, such is the honeymoon period of a young couple. only 8 months old. ha, i'm beginning to sound like an old wrinkled granny. *tongue sticking out* alright, so i'm alone in the office, well, kinda alone, on such a cold and freezing day again. *sigh* i shall find something to occupy myself. oh but before i sign off, i wanna post a pic of my deardear and myself on his first book-out.
another cold and wet morning, or should i say day? the train journey today was pleasant with no strange character popping outta nowhere and scolding the shit outta me. still no news from my baby for obvious reasons, no mobile allowed during field trips. his birthday is coming, in 2 days time. if calculation is correct, the last day of his outfield would be on his birthday. and hopefully he would be able to book out on that night, because the missing is just getting harder to contain anymore. he didn't leave me any messages when he left, just a phonecall. and its hard for me to be strong because i have nothing to hold on to except the past, and all the old messages.
that aside, biscuit's on leave today, because her boyfriend just returned from a 50-day training in hawaii. so she's gonna be spending quality time with him i guess. ah, such is the honeymoon period of a young couple. only 8 months old. ha, i'm beginning to sound like an old wrinkled granny. *tongue sticking out* alright, so i'm alone in the office, well, kinda alone, on such a cold and freezing day again. *sigh* i shall find something to occupy myself. oh but before i sign off, i wanna post a pic of my deardear and myself on his first book-out.
Monday, October 25, 2004
::day 4::
day four:
today has got to be the most unlucky day of my life! let me recount what happened. i was on my way to work, and as usual i was on the train reading my daily bread. this horrible guy, with a head full of dandruff, and i mean the whole head was covered by all those white little stuff! yyeeewww *gross* he had a newspaper rolled up under his armpit, and he boarded the train at tanah merah. he came and sat next to me, with the newspaper jutting out and hitting my arm like 3 times. so i said "excuse me" and rolled my eyes at him, and guess what abusive words he hurled at me? he said, "it was a bloody accident, you don't have to be so bloody rude about it." *mouth wide open* oh god, like who was the rude and uncouth one? had i been more awake i would have yelled molest and get all the real men on the train to chuck him out of the train, incorrigible! i've never met such ill-mannered person before, like he was in the wrong, and i thought he was gonna apologise when he started to speak? guess i was wrong. *speechless* and like serve him right for losing almost half his hair, he's half-bald by the way. and like serve him right for having a head full of dandruff. and like serve him right for living such a bitter life if not he wouldn't have threatened violence with the kind of words he used. i'm so mad! early in the morning and i get this kind of shit, what luck?! if only my deardear was around, he would have made sure that guy rolled out of the train man!
today has got to be the most unlucky day of my life! let me recount what happened. i was on my way to work, and as usual i was on the train reading my daily bread. this horrible guy, with a head full of dandruff, and i mean the whole head was covered by all those white little stuff! yyeeewww *gross* he had a newspaper rolled up under his armpit, and he boarded the train at tanah merah. he came and sat next to me, with the newspaper jutting out and hitting my arm like 3 times. so i said "excuse me" and rolled my eyes at him, and guess what abusive words he hurled at me? he said, "it was a bloody accident, you don't have to be so bloody rude about it." *mouth wide open* oh god, like who was the rude and uncouth one? had i been more awake i would have yelled molest and get all the real men on the train to chuck him out of the train, incorrigible! i've never met such ill-mannered person before, like he was in the wrong, and i thought he was gonna apologise when he started to speak? guess i was wrong. *speechless* and like serve him right for losing almost half his hair, he's half-bald by the way. and like serve him right for having a head full of dandruff. and like serve him right for living such a bitter life if not he wouldn't have threatened violence with the kind of words he used. i'm so mad! early in the morning and i get this kind of shit, what luck?! if only my deardear was around, he would have made sure that guy rolled out of the train man!
Sunday, October 24, 2004
::what is love?::
a few questions just struck me.
issit possible for you to love someone,
and still fall for another?
if so, then what will happen to your relationship?
do you carry on your relationship
or give the other person a chance?
but what if that person doesn't give you happiness
like the previous relationship?
what's gonna happen then?
assuming the new relationship doesn't last,
and you realise that your previous love
had always been the love of your life?
would your previous love still take you back?
assuming another senario:
after giving the new person a try,
he indeed gives you more happiness than before,
then would you feel bad towards your previous love?
argh!
i dunno what am i talking about,
all these chinese songs are just all so sappy
and they're driving me insane!
i shall stop listening to them and just wait
for my dinner to come back and feast on it *chuckling*
issit possible for you to love someone,
and still fall for another?
if so, then what will happen to your relationship?
do you carry on your relationship
or give the other person a chance?
but what if that person doesn't give you happiness
like the previous relationship?
what's gonna happen then?
assuming the new relationship doesn't last,
and you realise that your previous love
had always been the love of your life?
would your previous love still take you back?
assuming another senario:
after giving the new person a try,
he indeed gives you more happiness than before,
then would you feel bad towards your previous love?
argh!
i dunno what am i talking about,
all these chinese songs are just all so sappy
and they're driving me insane!
i shall stop listening to them and just wait
for my dinner to come back and feast on it *chuckling*
::day 3::
day two:
the seminar yesterday was a typical madhouse with all the aunties charging to buy producs the minute the talk was over. sales was pretty good, an overwhelming response i would say. because we had to forgo the tea-break, we were treated to a much better deal in the night. as i had mentioned, dinner was at goodwood park's thai village. the food was alright i guess, didn't have much of an appetite which explains why i'm not exactly excited describing it. jeff drove me to cuppage plaza to meet up with vin and the rest, my dear's buds, after the dinner. collected the cd which lulu helped me burnt, hee, an all-chinese hits, so unlike PrincessWylyn right? oh well, a princess has her fair share of days as well i guess. didn't wanna go home too early for obvious reasons, so i convinced them for a clubbing session at devil's bar last night, where biscuit and her boyfriend would also be. it was our first time there, pretty neat and very grown-up. it has its own space for chill-outs, and another for football fans, and lastly an own space for dance music and a live band, not bad, just a little too sqeeezy. oh and i must blog this down, on the dance floor over at the dance music, there was this girl, who would last be the person on this earth that anyone would ever think is sexy, but she kept dancing in front this whole lot of guys who weren't even looking at her, but rather at the tv screens just on top, behind her because last night was apparently some football match. *lol* but she really looked like she was enjoying herself, can't dirty-dance or sexy-dance for all the nuts in the world and there she was happily dancing away. it was so funny! anyway, the night ended at about one odd because dear old vin was getting moody, sleepy and tired. so spoiler. but yah, i guess because he still had to send me home, that's why he wanted to leave earlier. so the night ended like that, but at least i had a little fun.
day three:
boring day at home because i had no one to accompany me out, so i guess staying at home would be the best option? turned out pretty ok because they were out most of the time, leaving me with just my dog. cried a whole lot again in the day time as i was listening to the chinese songs especially jay chou's qing tian. yes i'm aware that song's a little passe, but i guess i belong to the group of laggards? haha but the lyrics really caught me. it has such a sad tune in it, and i guess jay chou really sang with feelings because i could feel the emotion, its amazing he had the talent to compose this whole song? *speechless* i was told the weird characters in the lyrics are actually taiwanese words, and ok i confess, i can't read every single chinese word there! *shame on me* but at least give me credit for understanding the song? heh, enjoy.
周杰伦 Chow, Jay Jou
晴天 词、曲：JAY
故事的小黄花 从出生那年就飘着
童年的荡秋千 随记忆一直晃到现在
ㄖㄨㄟ ㄙㄡ ㄙㄡ ㄒ一 ㄉㄡ ㄒ一
ㄌㄚ ㄙㄡ ㄌㄚ ㄒ一 ㄒ一 ㄒ一
ㄒ一 ㄌㄚ ㄒ一 ㄌㄚ ㄙㄡ
吹着前奏望着天空我想起花瓣试着掉落
为你翘课的那一天
花落的那一天 教室的那一间
我怎么看不见 消失的下雨天
我好想再淋一遍 没想到失去的勇气我还留着
好想再问一遍 你会等待还是离开
刮风这天 我试过握着你手
但偏偏 雨渐渐 大到我看你不见
还要多久 我才能在你身边
等待放晴的那天 也许我会比较好一点
从前从前 有个人爱你很久
但偏偏 雨渐渐 把距离吹得好远
好不容易 又能再多爱一天
但故事的最后你好像说了拜拜
the seminar yesterday was a typical madhouse with all the aunties charging to buy producs the minute the talk was over. sales was pretty good, an overwhelming response i would say. because we had to forgo the tea-break, we were treated to a much better deal in the night. as i had mentioned, dinner was at goodwood park's thai village. the food was alright i guess, didn't have much of an appetite which explains why i'm not exactly excited describing it. jeff drove me to cuppage plaza to meet up with vin and the rest, my dear's buds, after the dinner. collected the cd which lulu helped me burnt, hee, an all-chinese hits, so unlike PrincessWylyn right? oh well, a princess has her fair share of days as well i guess. didn't wanna go home too early for obvious reasons, so i convinced them for a clubbing session at devil's bar last night, where biscuit and her boyfriend would also be. it was our first time there, pretty neat and very grown-up. it has its own space for chill-outs, and another for football fans, and lastly an own space for dance music and a live band, not bad, just a little too sqeeezy. oh and i must blog this down, on the dance floor over at the dance music, there was this girl, who would last be the person on this earth that anyone would ever think is sexy, but she kept dancing in front this whole lot of guys who weren't even looking at her, but rather at the tv screens just on top, behind her because last night was apparently some football match. *lol* but she really looked like she was enjoying herself, can't dirty-dance or sexy-dance for all the nuts in the world and there she was happily dancing away. it was so funny! anyway, the night ended at about one odd because dear old vin was getting moody, sleepy and tired. so spoiler. but yah, i guess because he still had to send me home, that's why he wanted to leave earlier. so the night ended like that, but at least i had a little fun.
day three:
boring day at home because i had no one to accompany me out, so i guess staying at home would be the best option? turned out pretty ok because they were out most of the time, leaving me with just my dog. cried a whole lot again in the day time as i was listening to the chinese songs especially jay chou's qing tian. yes i'm aware that song's a little passe, but i guess i belong to the group of laggards? haha but the lyrics really caught me. it has such a sad tune in it, and i guess jay chou really sang with feelings because i could feel the emotion, its amazing he had the talent to compose this whole song? *speechless* i was told the weird characters in the lyrics are actually taiwanese words, and ok i confess, i can't read every single chinese word there! *shame on me* but at least give me credit for understanding the song? heh, enjoy.
周杰伦 Chow, Jay Jou
晴天 词、曲：JAY
故事的小黄花 从出生那年就飘着
童年的荡秋千 随记忆一直晃到现在
ㄖㄨㄟ ㄙㄡ ㄙㄡ ㄒ一 ㄉㄡ ㄒ一
ㄌㄚ ㄙㄡ ㄌㄚ ㄒ一 ㄒ一 ㄒ一
ㄒ一 ㄌㄚ ㄒ一 ㄌㄚ ㄙㄡ
吹着前奏望着天空我想起花瓣试着掉落
为你翘课的那一天
花落的那一天 教室的那一间
我怎么看不见 消失的下雨天
我好想再淋一遍 没想到失去的勇气我还留着
好想再问一遍 你会等待还是离开
刮风这天 我试过握着你手
但偏偏 雨渐渐 大到我看你不见
还要多久 我才能在你身边
等待放晴的那天 也许我会比较好一点
从前从前 有个人爱你很久
但偏偏 雨渐渐 把距离吹得好远
好不容易 又能再多爱一天
但故事的最后你好像说了拜拜
Saturday, October 23, 2004
::sad::heavy heart::
my heart's this close to breaking, i have no idea why. i'm just feeling so so sad. my heart's so heavy. i'm waiting for dinner at goodwood park's thai village. this feeling is undescribable, there are no words in the whole entire world to explain how i feel. enough.
Friday, October 22, 2004
::self-penned::
as i watch the raindrops falling gently onto the ground,
i slowly count the days when i will see you again.
as the chilly wind run through my body,
i think of all the nights when you held me close to you.
as the dark clouds envelope the night sky,
i reminisce the nights when i watched the stars with you.
as the trees sway gently with the rhythm of the rain,
i am brought back to the time where our love was young.
so much memories collected,
so much love involved,
so much of the future to behold,
i thank the Lord for our chance encounter. ~PrincessWylyn
::...i miss you baby...::
i slowly count the days when i will see you again.
as the chilly wind run through my body,
i think of all the nights when you held me close to you.
as the dark clouds envelope the night sky,
i reminisce the nights when i watched the stars with you.
as the trees sway gently with the rhythm of the rain,
i am brought back to the time where our love was young.
so much memories collected,
so much love involved,
so much of the future to behold,
i thank the Lord for our chance encounter. ~PrincessWylyn
::...i miss you baby...::
::preparation::
its been a busy day at work, there's a lot of preparation to be done for the health seminar that's gonna be taking place tomorrow at the York Hotel. and its gonna be busier tomorrow, needless to say, OT is definite. i guess i dun mind, since my boyfriend is away and work will be the only thing keeping me occupied. thankfully, dear's best friend is back from overseas training, and we're most prob gonna be hanging out together with the rest tomorrow after work. maybe chill or go catch a movie or something. and if possible, i'll probably drop by bugis to get more origami papers for my cranes.
oh, i just realise this entry is extremely mundane and monotonous. alright, i shall shut up this very moment and not bore you.
oh, i just realise this entry is extremely mundane and monotonous. alright, i shall shut up this very moment and not bore you.
::rainy day::
thunder roaring, its threatening a heavy downpour again. its making everyday extra gloomy, as if the heavens already know how gloomy my heart is. enough said, time for an update.
day one: 6.10am, the last phonecall from dear as he was getting ready to move off into the wilderness where he will live there for the next 7 days and eat "combat-ration" food, sleep in a self-pitched tent, shit and pee in some mangrove area where there should be leaves covering the most important part, rest for the night when the sun sets, and get up when the sun rises. *sigh* he's gonna be fine, i know.
its still freezing cold in my office. my fingers, toes, ears and nose feels like its gonna fall off any minute. and i feel like i'm living in some north pole or something. *trembling* where is the sun? where is the warmth that the sun brings? *sigh*
day one: 6.10am, the last phonecall from dear as he was getting ready to move off into the wilderness where he will live there for the next 7 days and eat "combat-ration" food, sleep in a self-pitched tent, shit and pee in some mangrove area where there should be leaves covering the most important part, rest for the night when the sun sets, and get up when the sun rises. *sigh* he's gonna be fine, i know.
its still freezing cold in my office. my fingers, toes, ears and nose feels like its gonna fall off any minute. and i feel like i'm living in some north pole or something. *trembling* where is the sun? where is the warmth that the sun brings? *sigh*
Thursday, October 21, 2004
::i'm a lucky girl!::
blessed is the girl who has all the love from her dear
blessed is the girl who has the best from her dear
blessed is the girl with the best boyfriend in the world
blessed is the girl who has both beauty and brains
blessed is the girl who is a child of God
blessed is the girl who has no lack of suitors
blessed is the girl who has great friendships
blessed is the girl who has a loving family
blessed is the girl who is eloquent
blessed is the girl who has the best bosses
blessed is the girl who is the envy of most girls
blessed is the girl who has her own identity
blessed is Me for i am that girl ~ PrincessWylyn
blessed is the girl who has the best from her dear
blessed is the girl with the best boyfriend in the world
blessed is the girl who has both beauty and brains
blessed is the girl who is a child of God
blessed is the girl who has no lack of suitors
blessed is the girl who has great friendships
blessed is the girl who has a loving family
blessed is the girl who is eloquent
blessed is the girl who has the best bosses
blessed is the girl who is the envy of most girls
blessed is the girl who has her own identity
blessed is Me for i am that girl ~ PrincessWylyn
::thursday::
rainy season...weather's changed a whole lot the past couple of days, and its getting freezing here in my office *shivering*. been wearing turtle-necks and bottoms made of wool just so i could keep warm. i'm a sunshine gal by the way, belonging to the tropical climate where i can feel the sun, the sea and the sand hee. i cannot take the cold, i will hibernate like a little bunny *chuckling*.
so today will be the last night i get to talk to my baby, he'll be gone for his outfield from tomorrow onwards. i'm gonna be strong for him, and not tell him how much i miss him. i will hold back my tears and not let him hear me cry. i will not do things that will make him worry, i will be careful and take good care of myself, so that i can be accountable to him when he gets back *sad smile*. 7 days and he'll be a changed man, 7 days and he'll come back to my arms, 7 days and he'll come back a stronger man, 7 days and i'll be able to see him every week *pinning for that day*.
and i've found a new hobby to keep myself occupied, apart from retail therapy that is. *drums rolling* its the art of origami! *chuckling again* i managed to learn how to fold paper cranes *PrincessWylyn real proud of herself*. i've never had the talent when it comes to art or designing, and needless to say, paper crane was a huge challenge. biscuit wasn't exactly the best teacher around, so i took a long time memorising the steps and figuring out how to complete it. and so i did, and i'm gonna be folding it for my baby. its for good luck. and every crane i fold represents my love and well-wishes for him. so that army life for him would be smooth and safe.
so today will be the last night i get to talk to my baby, he'll be gone for his outfield from tomorrow onwards. i'm gonna be strong for him, and not tell him how much i miss him. i will hold back my tears and not let him hear me cry. i will not do things that will make him worry, i will be careful and take good care of myself, so that i can be accountable to him when he gets back *sad smile*. 7 days and he'll be a changed man, 7 days and he'll come back to my arms, 7 days and he'll come back a stronger man, 7 days and i'll be able to see him every week *pinning for that day*.
and i've found a new hobby to keep myself occupied, apart from retail therapy that is. *drums rolling* its the art of origami! *chuckling again* i managed to learn how to fold paper cranes *PrincessWylyn real proud of herself*. i've never had the talent when it comes to art or designing, and needless to say, paper crane was a huge challenge. biscuit wasn't exactly the best teacher around, so i took a long time memorising the steps and figuring out how to complete it. and so i did, and i'm gonna be folding it for my baby. its for good luck. and every crane i fold represents my love and well-wishes for him. so that army life for him would be smooth and safe.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
::today::
it was a sumptuous day in the office today with all the yummy food that was offered to us. we had a nasi lemak feast for lunch. the coconut rice, deep-fried chicken mid-joints, the sweet special chilli, and not forgetting the cucumber were prepared by noelle's mom (she's a real fantastic cook!). and biscuit's dad hand-made otah-otah, hmmmmm sadup! wonderful combination. and after that, we had haagan daz' vanilla ice-cream coated with chocolate chip, wrapped in waffles, heaven! and fruit of the day was mango, oh what a sinful day! *rubbing tummy* and to redeem myself, i've decided not to have dinner tonight. or i'll never wash the guilt away *chuckling*.
::lousy movie::
i thought the movie title, Ouijia Board was rather mis-matched with the movie itself. it had a different storyline as compared to the japanese sadako, it is after all, a korean movie. but that apart, it had its fair share of scary scenes which spooked me outta nowhere and made me scare the shit outta biscuit! *lol* heh my constant screams are the reason why biscuit said she'll never watch a horror movie with me again. *sobs* and if you're interested in the show, it shouldn't be a bad investment if you catch it on weekdays. hee!
headed straight home after the movie, and got back at about 10 plus. and as usual, i only spoke to my dog. wanted to blog but the com was taken by you-know-who. wanted to use the phone to try to drop my dear a voicemail or so, but it was also used by you-know-who. its amazing how one person can be so selfish and behave like she's the queen in the entire house and pretend like she's the only alive being that needs communication, and that everyone else are just part of the furniture. un-believable! i'm so mad at her! my blood literally boils at the mere mention of her! i would have yelled into her face if my baby were to call me at that time.
but that aside, his call only came in at about 1am, an hour earlier than the night before. chatted with him awhile, and he sounded so much better, which made me feel relieved. told me last night was night firing test at the range, and that he didn't perform well, and didn't do his best because of the wrong method used, and also because of tiredness. 11 outta 16, that's not bad for a first-timer right? but my poor baby doesn't think so. there's gonna be another test today, the final one i hope, and after tonight, there shouldn't be anymore shooting. because after his range training, he should be resting, preparing and getting ready for his outfield. ah, the life of my soldier-boyfriend.
headed straight home after the movie, and got back at about 10 plus. and as usual, i only spoke to my dog. wanted to blog but the com was taken by you-know-who. wanted to use the phone to try to drop my dear a voicemail or so, but it was also used by you-know-who. its amazing how one person can be so selfish and behave like she's the queen in the entire house and pretend like she's the only alive being that needs communication, and that everyone else are just part of the furniture. un-believable! i'm so mad at her! my blood literally boils at the mere mention of her! i would have yelled into her face if my baby were to call me at that time.
but that aside, his call only came in at about 1am, an hour earlier than the night before. chatted with him awhile, and he sounded so much better, which made me feel relieved. told me last night was night firing test at the range, and that he didn't perform well, and didn't do his best because of the wrong method used, and also because of tiredness. 11 outta 16, that's not bad for a first-timer right? but my poor baby doesn't think so. there's gonna be another test today, the final one i hope, and after tonight, there shouldn't be anymore shooting. because after his range training, he should be resting, preparing and getting ready for his outfield. ah, the life of my soldier-boyfriend.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
::2am call::
my baby finally called, at about 2am this morning. his range took more than 12 hours, and when he got back to his bunk, he was so tired, his voice didn't sound alive anymore. poor baby. i wonder what they do all day at the range just shooting and shooting and more shooting. *sigh* and today's gonna be like that too, they are gonna be at the range for the whole entire day, just shooting away.
so today my lady boss, noelle said she'll treat us for a movie, Ouijia Board. heh! i'm not exactly keen about it but i guess this will do. she's really sweet. knowing how upset i am with my family and that my boyfriend's not around, she knows i really need all the company and support i can get right now. and so she's offered to come to the movies with us. cool boss huh?
i guess i'm feeling much better today, even though i still tear whenever i think of my baby in there, not able to book-out for 2 weeks, and not able to talk to him half the time i don't see him. but i reckoned this is the only way for him to reach manhood, he indeed, grew stronger and firmer. and i'm real proud of him. *chuckling*
the only happiness i know of, is him by my side. i can't help but feel so helpless now that he's not around.
but my devotion today spoke of putting my hope in God, and it was real comforting to read the passage. how timely this piece of advice came! it talked about the prophet, Elijah, after experiencing a glorious victory over the prophets of Baal, but now his life was threatened by the king's wife, Jezebel. in fear, he ran into the wildeness and begged God to take his life. what he did was right. he went to God, the right source for help. God restored Elijah and provided for his needs, revealed Himself to Elijah and renewed his sense of purpose by giving him work to do. God brought hope to Elijah by reminding him that he's not alone (1 Kings 19:4-18). such amazing words spoke right into my heart. i should not despair, i should not feel hopeless, i should not feel helpless for i am not alone. i have a Saviour right here, always sliently watching, guiding and loving me. enlightenment once again, be blessed. "For I am the Lord , your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13
so today my lady boss, noelle said she'll treat us for a movie, Ouijia Board. heh! i'm not exactly keen about it but i guess this will do. she's really sweet. knowing how upset i am with my family and that my boyfriend's not around, she knows i really need all the company and support i can get right now. and so she's offered to come to the movies with us. cool boss huh?
i guess i'm feeling much better today, even though i still tear whenever i think of my baby in there, not able to book-out for 2 weeks, and not able to talk to him half the time i don't see him. but i reckoned this is the only way for him to reach manhood, he indeed, grew stronger and firmer. and i'm real proud of him. *chuckling*
the only happiness i know of, is him by my side. i can't help but feel so helpless now that he's not around.
but my devotion today spoke of putting my hope in God, and it was real comforting to read the passage. how timely this piece of advice came! it talked about the prophet, Elijah, after experiencing a glorious victory over the prophets of Baal, but now his life was threatened by the king's wife, Jezebel. in fear, he ran into the wildeness and begged God to take his life. what he did was right. he went to God, the right source for help. God restored Elijah and provided for his needs, revealed Himself to Elijah and renewed his sense of purpose by giving him work to do. God brought hope to Elijah by reminding him that he's not alone (1 Kings 19:4-18). such amazing words spoke right into my heart. i should not despair, i should not feel hopeless, i should not feel helpless for i am not alone. i have a Saviour right here, always sliently watching, guiding and loving me. enlightenment once again, be blessed. "For I am the Lord , your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13
Monday, October 18, 2004
::no call::
the time now is 10.49pm, and i haven't heard a word from my baby since last night. i dunno wassup with him or what went wrong, just that i think he briefly mentioned today was gonna be a range day. maybe i'm just paranoid, but i can't help but feel uneasy. i'll be patient and wait a little longer.
this thursday is gonna be his first outfield, where they will practically live in the jungle without any proper food, water, accomodation and bath. and this outfield's gonna last for 7 days. which means this outfield is gonna run through the coming weekend, and it also means that i won't get to speak to him for 7 full days. oh God, i dunno how am i gonna last 7 days without hearing his voice. ever since he started serving the nation, my only biggest consolation was to hear his voice every night. and now, even that is gonna be taken away from me, i can't seem to find any reason to live. and to make things worse is the fact that i've fallen out with my entire family (except my dog). i'm just real disgusted at the apparent hypocrisy that is happening, right now in my family. i don't wanna talk about it, not now...because the thought of it just irks me. anyway, as i was saying, my whole world seems to be shattering at this very moment, and i really have not the slightless clue on how to live my life normally for the next 2 weeks. if you haven't already figured out, this outfield is the sole reason why last weekend meant so much to me, it also explains why i was so extremely upset with my dad for giving me happiness and then taking it away. its because i don't see him for 2 weeks, i don't get to hear his voice for a week. i can probably try to live in self-denial and try to find things to occupy myself but i haven't got the chinks (waiting for pay-day you see) nor any company since my only free-time is retail therapy. but no matter what, i will find a way to survive, even if it means hibernating all the way. bless me pple, cos i'm gonna be needing lotsa of it.
this thursday is gonna be his first outfield, where they will practically live in the jungle without any proper food, water, accomodation and bath. and this outfield's gonna last for 7 days. which means this outfield is gonna run through the coming weekend, and it also means that i won't get to speak to him for 7 full days. oh God, i dunno how am i gonna last 7 days without hearing his voice. ever since he started serving the nation, my only biggest consolation was to hear his voice every night. and now, even that is gonna be taken away from me, i can't seem to find any reason to live. and to make things worse is the fact that i've fallen out with my entire family (except my dog). i'm just real disgusted at the apparent hypocrisy that is happening, right now in my family. i don't wanna talk about it, not now...because the thought of it just irks me. anyway, as i was saying, my whole world seems to be shattering at this very moment, and i really have not the slightless clue on how to live my life normally for the next 2 weeks. if you haven't already figured out, this outfield is the sole reason why last weekend meant so much to me, it also explains why i was so extremely upset with my dad for giving me happiness and then taking it away. its because i don't see him for 2 weeks, i don't get to hear his voice for a week. i can probably try to live in self-denial and try to find things to occupy myself but i haven't got the chinks (waiting for pay-day you see) nor any company since my only free-time is retail therapy. but no matter what, i will find a way to survive, even if it means hibernating all the way. bless me pple, cos i'm gonna be needing lotsa of it.
::wonderful weekend::
last weekend was the most memorable weekend spent with my baby. even though it was short, we managed to get back our 'old lives' within that span of time.
so friday night, he booked out. my goodness, the stench from the whole bus of boys enveloped the whole interchange, and almost suffocated me! i was not spared, he smelled just as bad, if not worse! he claimed he just had a shower using dove before booking out, oh well, i dunno how true is that. heh! but he was grinning from ear to ear when he saw me, he kept wanting to peck me on my cheek but he was obviously not allowed to do so. and i had to refrain myself from holding him as well. we quickly got home (because the smell was just killing me!) so that he could scrub himself thoroughly, and so that we would be allowed to be ourselves. spent the night with him regardless of that fateful incident, and had a wonderful rest by his side till dawn broke. came to work, while he went to the army shop in tampines to get some stuff for his outfield this coming week. at work, i specifically requested to be let off promptly so that i could enjoy the weekends with him, and knowing it was his first book-out, my bosses gave in to my request. but ended up having to wait for him because he was late. *sigh* almost spoiled the day but guess what saved it? heehe *PrincessWylyn chuckling*
*aaaawwwww* isn't he just hopelessly romantic? doesn't he just hopelessly adore and love me? *shy smile* so we walked around town, got him a birthday present from nautica, and pampered myself with a top from warehouse. pricey, i know. *tongue sticking out*
taking a break after walking, our satisfied big smiles!
thereafter was dinner. dinner was to be at Outback Steakhouse because my baby said he wanna have some real meat, and so his wish was my command (even though he was the one who paid for the meal, keke).
the above was his Braised Sirlion. slow roasted sirloin served with garlic mashed potatoes and a rich homemade gravy. *hmmm salivating*
and this was my Alice Springs Chicken *evil laughter*. grilled chicken breast and bacon smoothered in mushrooms, melted Monterey Jack and Cheddar cheeses, with honey mustard dressing, served with aussie chips. *yummy*
and so, that was saturday. short-lived, but spent in such amazing happiness.
so friday night, he booked out. my goodness, the stench from the whole bus of boys enveloped the whole interchange, and almost suffocated me! i was not spared, he smelled just as bad, if not worse! he claimed he just had a shower using dove before booking out, oh well, i dunno how true is that. heh! but he was grinning from ear to ear when he saw me, he kept wanting to peck me on my cheek but he was obviously not allowed to do so. and i had to refrain myself from holding him as well. we quickly got home (because the smell was just killing me!) so that he could scrub himself thoroughly, and so that we would be allowed to be ourselves. spent the night with him regardless of that fateful incident, and had a wonderful rest by his side till dawn broke. came to work, while he went to the army shop in tampines to get some stuff for his outfield this coming week. at work, i specifically requested to be let off promptly so that i could enjoy the weekends with him, and knowing it was his first book-out, my bosses gave in to my request. but ended up having to wait for him because he was late. *sigh* almost spoiled the day but guess what saved it? heehe *PrincessWylyn chuckling*
*aaaawwwww* isn't he just hopelessly romantic? doesn't he just hopelessly adore and love me? *shy smile* so we walked around town, got him a birthday present from nautica, and pampered myself with a top from warehouse. pricey, i know. *tongue sticking out*
taking a break after walking, our satisfied big smiles!
thereafter was dinner. dinner was to be at Outback Steakhouse because my baby said he wanna have some real meat, and so his wish was my command (even though he was the one who paid for the meal, keke).
the above was his Braised Sirlion. slow roasted sirloin served with garlic mashed potatoes and a rich homemade gravy. *hmmm salivating*
and this was my Alice Springs Chicken *evil laughter*. grilled chicken breast and bacon smoothered in mushrooms, melted Monterey Jack and Cheddar cheeses, with honey mustard dressing, served with aussie chips. *yummy*
and so, that was saturday. short-lived, but spent in such amazing happiness.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
::unhappy::
remember my post yesterday read about my happiness and excitement of seeing my dear boyfriend, holding him and staying with him overnight because the feeling of waking up and seeing him next to me first thing in the morning would be such a warm feeling. but last night on my way to his house, after i went home to pack what i'll be needing for work today, my father called. the phone conversation went as follows:
dad: *shouting* "what took you so long to pick up my call?"
me: "because my mobile was kept in my handbag, and my handbag was in my haversack, that's why i took a bit longer. wassup?"
::silence::
dad: *shouting again, even louder this time* "let this be the LAST time you stay over at daniel's house. the next time you ask again, you get engaged with him straight-away! don't let me get scolding for nothing!"
::slammed the phone::
i was stunned, rather, speechless. couldn't understand what just happened. i asked for his permission, i had his permission. it took a lot of guts to do that. if you knew my father, you would know to never provoke or offend him or else, the consequences would be unthinkable. and when he said ok, i was so happy. i wasn't expecting him to say yes and then later in the night, call and scream into my ear as if i was in the middle of some adulterous act.
it didn't take long to figure out who the culprit was after my dear calmed me down. who else would it have been but that sister of mine, who's always being difficult and jealous. she's like my evil step-sister or something. now i'm beginning to loathe her even more. the sole reason why she got engaged with her stupid boyfriend was because they wanna stay over each other's place, especially ours, to use the free facilities. disgusting. but that's beside the point. the point is, why should i get engaged with daniel just because i wanna spend the night with him? what kind of stupid logic is that? and why issit that when a guy and girl are alone, the perception is always sex? like why can't it be something else more pure? something else more innocent like just to spend quality time with each other since i haven't seen my boyfriend for the last 2 and a half weeks, and there's gonna be another 2 weeks where i don't get to see him because he has been scheduled for a 7-day outfield? why?! i'm still a damn virgin if that's what's bothering my parents! i said i won't give it away, i mean i will not give it away until my wedding night, to my husband whoever that may be. why can't they trust me? why don't they trust daniel? yes he's a guy and he may have his urges and the what-nots, but he's never asked me for it, and never forced me to give him, simply because he loves and respects me. filthy minds, and filthy people! i'm so mad, i don't wanna go home. i wanna run away from these pple who claim to be my family.*PrincessWylyn planning a revolt to overthrow her evil step-sister*
dad: *shouting* "what took you so long to pick up my call?"
me: "because my mobile was kept in my handbag, and my handbag was in my haversack, that's why i took a bit longer. wassup?"
::silence::
dad: *shouting again, even louder this time* "let this be the LAST time you stay over at daniel's house. the next time you ask again, you get engaged with him straight-away! don't let me get scolding for nothing!"
::slammed the phone::
i was stunned, rather, speechless. couldn't understand what just happened. i asked for his permission, i had his permission. it took a lot of guts to do that. if you knew my father, you would know to never provoke or offend him or else, the consequences would be unthinkable. and when he said ok, i was so happy. i wasn't expecting him to say yes and then later in the night, call and scream into my ear as if i was in the middle of some adulterous act.
it didn't take long to figure out who the culprit was after my dear calmed me down. who else would it have been but that sister of mine, who's always being difficult and jealous. she's like my evil step-sister or something. now i'm beginning to loathe her even more. the sole reason why she got engaged with her stupid boyfriend was because they wanna stay over each other's place, especially ours, to use the free facilities. disgusting. but that's beside the point. the point is, why should i get engaged with daniel just because i wanna spend the night with him? what kind of stupid logic is that? and why issit that when a guy and girl are alone, the perception is always sex? like why can't it be something else more pure? something else more innocent like just to spend quality time with each other since i haven't seen my boyfriend for the last 2 and a half weeks, and there's gonna be another 2 weeks where i don't get to see him because he has been scheduled for a 7-day outfield? why?! i'm still a damn virgin if that's what's bothering my parents! i said i won't give it away, i mean i will not give it away until my wedding night, to my husband whoever that may be. why can't they trust me? why don't they trust daniel? yes he's a guy and he may have his urges and the what-nots, but he's never asked me for it, and never forced me to give him, simply because he loves and respects me. filthy minds, and filthy people! i'm so mad, i don't wanna go home. i wanna run away from these pple who claim to be my family.*PrincessWylyn planning a revolt to overthrow her evil step-sister*
Friday, October 15, 2004
::guorong hurt::
i just heard that guorong tore his ligament and has just been sent home? poor thing huh? according to his "bestest" friend, jeff, that's his old injury and probably exercise in there has been too vigorous he strained and hurt his old injury. so poor thing huh? for those who are lost, he's the guy who used to work with me, the guy who's been a great help to me the last few months, and basically just a great guy to hang out with. let me see if i have a pic of him and then i can post it to let you gals out there know there's such a great guy. *digging and searching* hurry! he's up for grabs now! hee ;p
::finally friday::
its finally friday! the day where my deardear will book-out for the first time, where he will hold me for the first time, on singapore land, away from tekong. 2 weeks, i know wasn't a long time, but at least it was to me. and i have barely lived, during the last 2 weeks when he was away. oh but for the happy things:
1) as mentioned, my baby's gonna book-out tonight!!! *jumping up and down*
2) my daddy allows me to stay over with my baby over the weekends!!! *crowd applauding*
3) my birthday party is more or less settled because i managed to get a chalet (even though costa was last on my list, guess i don't have a choice now) *shrugs*
alright, this calls for a celebration? yeah, there's definitely gonna be one! (shhh..secret)
1) as mentioned, my baby's gonna book-out tonight!!! *jumping up and down*
2) my daddy allows me to stay over with my baby over the weekends!!! *crowd applauding*
3) my birthday party is more or less settled because i managed to get a chalet (even though costa was last on my list, guess i don't have a choice now) *shrugs*
alright, this calls for a celebration? yeah, there's definitely gonna be one! (shhh..secret)
Thursday, October 14, 2004
::fat? me?::
my company's marketing director just commented that i've grown fat. and so did my boss's mother. how can this be? i mean i know i eat alot and i get hungry easily and all, but i'm not fat, right? i'm still petite and slim, right? *holding back my tears* i'm not fat right? and i'm not living in self-denial, i mean i'm not, right? unless like my close friends tell me i am, and unless like my baby thinks i became fatter too, then i probably would admit it right? am i fat? did i really put on weight? i'm quite certain i didn't because my weight has been constant, if not, lesser. oh man, i'm so disturbed. one comment and it got me all hysterical. *almost bursting into tears* i'm not fat, right?
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
::new haircut::high-tea::
think i forgot to update you guys on how my high-tea and my new haircut went on saturday, so since i have the time now, thought i might as well just do a short one. haha! actually, its not really like a new hairstyle, it was more to trimming and shaping my hair coz the "weeds" kinda took control over my hair, haha kidding. the salon was at paragon, classy huh? and they were really pro at the things they were doing, like even the shampoo gal was pretty pro and she knew her stuff, and honestly, i was quite impressed by her. she taught me how to differentiate real healthy hair from fake ones, and she said my hair is one of the 'rare healthy virgin hair left in the world', haha! she's rather cute. oh, so the way to tell healthy hair is when light is shone on the hair, it reflects a blueish tone. bet you never knew that, at least i never knew until enlightenment touched me. heh. and the male hairstylist (i delibrately requested for one) knew his stuff, was pro and made sure he explained thoroughly on what he was gonna do to my hair before the actual trimming took place. i like these kind of stylist. so everything went well, and i look like this now. hee. ;p
wassup with the side fringe huh? the stylist said its in fashion now, and since my face shape can take the 'retro look', he said i look good in it. lol
and the high-tea, it was good. honest. like its a sub of tung lok group of restaurants, so the standard's there. maybe the variety wasn't as much as i would have liked it to be, but overall it was good. comon, its real stuff and its all-you-can-eat! so i thoroughly enjoyed myself on saturday, even though i went to the salon myself, went home myself, and basically spent the night with my mom and puppy at home. but this saturday is definitely gonna be different, more lively and happy because deardear's gonna be with me!!! hee i just can't wait for him to be out! ;p
wassup with the side fringe huh? the stylist said its in fashion now, and since my face shape can take the 'retro look', he said i look good in it. lol
and the high-tea, it was good. honest. like its a sub of tung lok group of restaurants, so the standard's there. maybe the variety wasn't as much as i would have liked it to be, but overall it was good. comon, its real stuff and its all-you-can-eat! so i thoroughly enjoyed myself on saturday, even though i went to the salon myself, went home myself, and basically spent the night with my mom and puppy at home. but this saturday is definitely gonna be different, more lively and happy because deardear's gonna be with me!!! hee i just can't wait for him to be out! ;p
::busy at work::
been busy the past 2 days at work, today is no exception. but decided i have to sqeeze in a little time to update my blog. so here i am.
today is wednesday, which brings me closer and closer to my baby's first book-out on friday night, hee *all smiles*
but the thing that is really bothering me right now is my birthday party. wanna book a chalet but seems that all the chalet i had in mind are all already fully taken? so i'm left with the normal ones like costa and the what-nots. i was thinking, if i can't get my desired chalet, i'd probably just not have a party? *sigh* everything's not confirmed yet, my boyfriend's mom is also helping me to scout, so guess i'll just see how everything goes. because i totally forgotten my birthday falls on the school holidays where all the little wanna-be punks are all getting ready to show off their best beachwear and bikinis which they had been hiding in their wardrobe during the past one year, just waiting for this one chalet to fulfill all their childhood fantasies. and not forgetting that they are in their "prime" of their lives, not reaching full puberty yet and still wanna show-off their under-developed assets. *eeeewwww* amazing. that aside, i already drew up my invitation list liao, decided on what cake to get (my all-time favourite Lana chocolate cake! i've been like eating that since my 2nd birthday, and i'll never get sick of it! trust me), how many kg and scouting for food caterers as well, argh! i'm be so damn upset if i don't get what i want! *throwing tantrums* alright, i shall behave like a grown-up, i am after all, gonna be one soon. hee *trying hard to hide my real age* i mean i don't wanna make-do with things, i don't wanna compromise, i don't wanna do something if its gonna be looking like the norm. get it? wish me luck on getting my desired chalet ok or no party for all you nice pple reading my blog. hee ;p
today is wednesday, which brings me closer and closer to my baby's first book-out on friday night, hee *all smiles*
but the thing that is really bothering me right now is my birthday party. wanna book a chalet but seems that all the chalet i had in mind are all already fully taken? so i'm left with the normal ones like costa and the what-nots. i was thinking, if i can't get my desired chalet, i'd probably just not have a party? *sigh* everything's not confirmed yet, my boyfriend's mom is also helping me to scout, so guess i'll just see how everything goes. because i totally forgotten my birthday falls on the school holidays where all the little wanna-be punks are all getting ready to show off their best beachwear and bikinis which they had been hiding in their wardrobe during the past one year, just waiting for this one chalet to fulfill all their childhood fantasies. and not forgetting that they are in their "prime" of their lives, not reaching full puberty yet and still wanna show-off their under-developed assets. *eeeewwww* amazing. that aside, i already drew up my invitation list liao, decided on what cake to get (my all-time favourite Lana chocolate cake! i've been like eating that since my 2nd birthday, and i'll never get sick of it! trust me), how many kg and scouting for food caterers as well, argh! i'm be so damn upset if i don't get what i want! *throwing tantrums* alright, i shall behave like a grown-up, i am after all, gonna be one soon. hee *trying hard to hide my real age* i mean i don't wanna make-do with things, i don't wanna compromise, i don't wanna do something if its gonna be looking like the norm. get it? wish me luck on getting my desired chalet ok or no party for all you nice pple reading my blog. hee ;p
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
::its hard to be away from you::
i thought this poem was rather well written, so i decided to rip it *tongue sticking out*, but at least i acknowledge the author's work? alright alright, no excuse i know, but i don't usually do this, just that i thought it says it all. so here, enjoy. ;p
So many of my thoughts
are of you.
Each night when the world
is quiet and still,
your smile
and the wonderful moments
we have shared
crowd my mind.
Then i find myself missing you even more...
Each day, as i go about my routine,
you slip gently into my thoughts
and make me smile.
I wonder what you are doing,
trust that everything is going well,
and hope that you miss me too.
It's hard to be apart,
because i care so deeply about you,
but please know that
you are an important part of my life.
Though we can't be together right now,
we are together
in our thoughts and memories.
I am here,
with all my heart,
looking ahead to that time
when i can see you
and be with you again. ~ B.L McDaniel
So many of my thoughts
are of you.
Each night when the world
is quiet and still,
your smile
and the wonderful moments
we have shared
crowd my mind.
Then i find myself missing you even more...
Each day, as i go about my routine,
you slip gently into my thoughts
and make me smile.
I wonder what you are doing,
trust that everything is going well,
and hope that you miss me too.
It's hard to be apart,
because i care so deeply about you,
but please know that
you are an important part of my life.
Though we can't be together right now,
we are together
in our thoughts and memories.
I am here,
with all my heart,
looking ahead to that time
when i can see you
and be with you again. ~ B.L McDaniel
Sunday, October 10, 2004
:own creation::
Under the same sky,
Under the same stars,
Under the same moon,
There we’ll meet.
Under the same clouds,
Under the same sun,
Under the same atmosphere,
There we’ll meet.
Breathing the same air,
I feel you.
Sleeping under the same sky,
I feel you.
And it’s only in wonderland,
That I can hold you.
I miss you,
Yes I still do.
I need you,
Yes I still do.
I love you,
Yes I still do.
Please hurry home,
For missing you is getting more unbearable.
Please hurry home,
For waiting is getting endless.
Please hurry home,
For I miss you so. ~ PrincessWylyn
Under the same stars,
Under the same moon,
There we’ll meet.
Under the same clouds,
Under the same sun,
Under the same atmosphere,
There we’ll meet.
Breathing the same air,
I feel you.
Sleeping under the same sky,
I feel you.
And it’s only in wonderland,
That I can hold you.
I miss you,
Yes I still do.
I need you,
Yes I still do.
I love you,
Yes I still do.
Please hurry home,
For missing you is getting more unbearable.
Please hurry home,
For waiting is getting endless.
Please hurry home,
For I miss you so. ~ PrincessWylyn
Saturday, October 09, 2004
::visiting day::
it was a fantastic day today! *all smiles* everything went well, and smoothly, and it was just great! saw my baby for the first time all bald and well-shaven, haha! i couldn't help it and burst into laughter when he came out of the line and wrapped his hand around my waist like he always does. my baby looks like this now. hee
doesn't he just look cute? he was delirious with joy, all of the boys in tekong were, they've been waiting for this parents-and-girlfriends' visiting day since enlistment, and today signifies 6 more days to their first book-out. *counting counting*
he has been eating chicken meat in camp since forever, he's just so sick of it, thus my choice to make him grilled fish proved a wise choice. *smug smile* hee and needless to say, he thoroughly enjoyed all my food. *shy smile*
anyway, took a couple of pictures with him as well, below are just 2 of the best.
in the canteen after finishing up all the food i made him.
and this was taken outside his bunk. don't i look good in the cap as well? hee
doesn't he just look cute? he was delirious with joy, all of the boys in tekong were, they've been waiting for this parents-and-girlfriends' visiting day since enlistment, and today signifies 6 more days to their first book-out. *counting counting*
he has been eating chicken meat in camp since forever, he's just so sick of it, thus my choice to make him grilled fish proved a wise choice. *smug smile* hee and needless to say, he thoroughly enjoyed all my food. *shy smile*
anyway, took a couple of pictures with him as well, below are just 2 of the best.
in the canteen after finishing up all the food i made him.
and this was taken outside his bunk. don't i look good in the cap as well? hee
Friday, October 08, 2004
::screwed up::
i've been busy all day surfing the net, looking for a webhost who could host free mp3 for me while i attach it with my blog. argh! as you can see, i return empty-handed. *boo hoo* but i've got tips from thedoll, and i'll probably try that out when i'm free and home. coz i've got a whole day packed tomorrow! hee. let me tell you what's gonna happen tomorrow, or rather, from tonight onwards:
1. i'm gonna be meeting one of deardear's bud later, who will accompany me to get my levi's skirt. hee. the new lady's classic. gorgeous. *eyes twinkling*
2. thereafter, i would have to rush, no, let me re-phrase, the word is "fly" back home coz i gotta prepare yummy food for my baby tomorrow.
3. his visiting time tomorrow is like 8.30am *gosh* so i'm gonna be meeting his mom at 8am at his house.
4. oh by the way, i took the day off tomorrow, so i basically have the whole day to myself.
5. after tekong, i'll either go home to change, or go straight, to meet my friend for a tim-sum buffet. *yummy* another pigging session. hee. ;p
6. and lastly, i'll have a hairstylist waiting for me in town, coz its about time i have a new look? ha! so hopefully it won't be a disaster, and that i won't look like the joke of the week? heh!
7. still trying to decide if i should go club with biscuit and company later in the night? at devil's they were saying..but they're meeting real late at like 12mn? madness, needless to say, my mom will KILL me! so i think i'll be safter off in her house, on my bed, in my room. hee.
oh, and wanna know what the menu is tomorrow for my baby? here's what:
a) herbal tea, a MUST!
b) appetizer would be ocean chef salad with loads of already-peeled prawns (knowing him, he will NEVER eat anything that needs peeling), crabmeat, lettuce (duh!) and carrots (also duh!)
c) main dish would be grilled dory fish topped with some nice special sauce (shhh secret recipe!), with fries, brocolli and cauliflower & carrots
heathy enough? don't want him to fall sick, so after many intensive discussion with my mom, she said these would be the best choices. alright, wish me fun, happiness and no-tears ok? ciao!
1. i'm gonna be meeting one of deardear's bud later, who will accompany me to get my levi's skirt. hee. the new lady's classic. gorgeous. *eyes twinkling*
2. thereafter, i would have to rush, no, let me re-phrase, the word is "fly" back home coz i gotta prepare yummy food for my baby tomorrow.
3. his visiting time tomorrow is like 8.30am *gosh* so i'm gonna be meeting his mom at 8am at his house.
4. oh by the way, i took the day off tomorrow, so i basically have the whole day to myself.
5. after tekong, i'll either go home to change, or go straight, to meet my friend for a tim-sum buffet. *yummy* another pigging session. hee. ;p
6. and lastly, i'll have a hairstylist waiting for me in town, coz its about time i have a new look? ha! so hopefully it won't be a disaster, and that i won't look like the joke of the week? heh!
7. still trying to decide if i should go club with biscuit and company later in the night? at devil's they were saying..but they're meeting real late at like 12mn? madness, needless to say, my mom will KILL me! so i think i'll be safter off in her house, on my bed, in my room. hee.
oh, and wanna know what the menu is tomorrow for my baby? here's what:
a) herbal tea, a MUST!
b) appetizer would be ocean chef salad with loads of already-peeled prawns (knowing him, he will NEVER eat anything that needs peeling), crabmeat, lettuce (duh!) and carrots (also duh!)
c) main dish would be grilled dory fish topped with some nice special sauce (shhh secret recipe!), with fries, brocolli and cauliflower & carrots
heathy enough? don't want him to fall sick, so after many intensive discussion with my mom, she said these would be the best choices. alright, wish me fun, happiness and no-tears ok? ciao!
Thursday, October 07, 2004
::flip side of song::
oh guess what? my whole office is crazy over this korean song and mtv, we're like so hilarious! we found the english translated version of the song lyrics, and we're like passing the mtv, mp3 and the lyrics around the whole office. and now i know why the girl walked away. here's why:
***Because I'm a Girl by KISS (MTV Translation)***
i just can't understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you and then they leave you
this is the first time,
"you're special"
i believed those words
and i was so happy
[chorus]
you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but i couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything
i heard that if you give up things too easily to a man,
he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again
[chorus]
you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but i couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything
i heard that if you give up things too easily to a man
he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again
[chorus]
you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but i couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl to whom love is everything
don't take advantage of a girl's willingness
to do anything for love and her caring instinct
i didn't know that to be born as a girl
and to be loved was so hard
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything
[female narration]
we parted today
you said you wanted me to be happy
and find a better person than you
you're just like every other man
didn't you tell me you loved me?
when im hurting so much,
so much i want to die when i still love you so much...
don't take advantage of a girl's willingness
to do anything for love and her caring instinct
i didn't know that to be born as a girl
and to be loved was so hard
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything
[male narration]
there is a girl i love
although i can't be with her right now
but i will always love her
it was because the guy didn't want her? it was because he didn't want her to take up the burden of having to look after a diabled person. it was because he wanted her to find a better guy, so that she'll be happier. but do you honestly think the girl will be happier with another guy? no, she wants you! and if you only knew how much she's longing to be with you, you wouldn't push her away. love isn't a thing where you can just easily give it up or give it away. if you love someone, tell them! don't keep it and expect them to know. love isn't about gussing games. if you really love them, pluck up your courage and tell them so that they can choose if they'd wanna be with you or not. if not, sadly, your life will have an un-erasable regret.
***Because I'm a Girl by KISS (MTV Translation)***
i just can't understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you and then they leave you
this is the first time,
"you're special"
i believed those words
and i was so happy
[chorus]
you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but i couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything
i heard that if you give up things too easily to a man,
he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again
[chorus]
you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but i couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything
i heard that if you give up things too easily to a man
he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again
[chorus]
you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but i couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl to whom love is everything
don't take advantage of a girl's willingness
to do anything for love and her caring instinct
i didn't know that to be born as a girl
and to be loved was so hard
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything
[female narration]
we parted today
you said you wanted me to be happy
and find a better person than you
you're just like every other man
didn't you tell me you loved me?
when im hurting so much,
so much i want to die when i still love you so much...
don't take advantage of a girl's willingness
to do anything for love and her caring instinct
i didn't know that to be born as a girl
and to be loved was so hard
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything
[male narration]
there is a girl i love
although i can't be with her right now
but i will always love her
it was because the guy didn't want her? it was because he didn't want her to take up the burden of having to look after a diabled person. it was because he wanted her to find a better guy, so that she'll be happier. but do you honestly think the girl will be happier with another guy? no, she wants you! and if you only knew how much she's longing to be with you, you wouldn't push her away. love isn't a thing where you can just easily give it up or give it away. if you love someone, tell them! don't keep it and expect them to know. love isn't about gussing games. if you really love them, pluck up your courage and tell them so that they can choose if they'd wanna be with you or not. if not, sadly, your life will have an un-erasable regret.
::regrets::
i'm still very affected by the mtv. regrets. ever since i could remember, my motto was to live life to the fullest, and never regret. never live to regret, because it just defeats the whole purpose of living. ok, makes sense. but why, when emotions are involved, there are bound to be regrets? i dun understand.
now i'll be talking in context with the mtv. don't you think that girl should have called out to her so-called lover in the end when she finally figured out he was the one who gave her the new pair of eyes? i mean comon, even if she doesn't love the guy anymore, she could still acknowledge him out of gratitude. he did, after all, give her his pair of eyes you know? was it because she felt that she was too indebt to him, there was just no way she could have be with him? or was it because she didn't want to take up the burden and responsiblity of looking after a blind man? true, it'd be quite a task. but if you really love the guy, would you mind? or would she rather be with her's ex-lover's assistant because obviously its the easiest way out? why? what was the reason that made her walk away from him in the end? if she was mad at the photographer for not visiting her at the hopsital to celebrate her recovery, or that he didn't look her up, then she would have realised in the end that as much as he wanted too, he couldn't because he was already blind. what else could it have been? was it because, after such a long time, she and the assistant had already started another relationship and there was no way she could have been with the photographer again because she was so filled with guilt and remorse, she knew she had let him down in every way possible? perhaps. maybe we'll never know. i hardly even know the title of the song, let alone the meaning of it all. but it has such a big impact on me. *silent sob*
why must life be filled with regrets? issit even possible for you to "live life to the fullest" and have no regrets? is love fair to both parties? let's talk about..maybe a love triangle. if this couple have been together for quite awhile, and they are very loving to each other. suddenly this girl comes into the relationship, and the guy is shaken because he has been touched by her many little actions. the poor girlfriend doesn't know abt it, coz if she knew, her heart would break. and yet this guy is struggling between his love for his girlfriend, and the possibility of letting the potential love-of-his-life go. i understand where the guy is coming from. he may be letting go true happiness, and in his life, there would be this major regret of giving up the chance of not trying? sounds reasonable. but what about his present girlfriend? she has given her all to him, and she loves her boyfriend whole-heartedly but if she ever finds out, i'm not so sure if she'll forgive her boyfriend, and continue being with him. love triangle like these occurs everyday i'm certain. and how do the people involved come to terms with it? sad. enough said. maybe someone can enlighten me?
now i'll be talking in context with the mtv. don't you think that girl should have called out to her so-called lover in the end when she finally figured out he was the one who gave her the new pair of eyes? i mean comon, even if she doesn't love the guy anymore, she could still acknowledge him out of gratitude. he did, after all, give her his pair of eyes you know? was it because she felt that she was too indebt to him, there was just no way she could have be with him? or was it because she didn't want to take up the burden and responsiblity of looking after a blind man? true, it'd be quite a task. but if you really love the guy, would you mind? or would she rather be with her's ex-lover's assistant because obviously its the easiest way out? why? what was the reason that made her walk away from him in the end? if she was mad at the photographer for not visiting her at the hopsital to celebrate her recovery, or that he didn't look her up, then she would have realised in the end that as much as he wanted too, he couldn't because he was already blind. what else could it have been? was it because, after such a long time, she and the assistant had already started another relationship and there was no way she could have been with the photographer again because she was so filled with guilt and remorse, she knew she had let him down in every way possible? perhaps. maybe we'll never know. i hardly even know the title of the song, let alone the meaning of it all. but it has such a big impact on me. *silent sob*
why must life be filled with regrets? issit even possible for you to "live life to the fullest" and have no regrets? is love fair to both parties? let's talk about..maybe a love triangle. if this couple have been together for quite awhile, and they are very loving to each other. suddenly this girl comes into the relationship, and the guy is shaken because he has been touched by her many little actions. the poor girlfriend doesn't know abt it, coz if she knew, her heart would break. and yet this guy is struggling between his love for his girlfriend, and the possibility of letting the potential love-of-his-life go. i understand where the guy is coming from. he may be letting go true happiness, and in his life, there would be this major regret of giving up the chance of not trying? sounds reasonable. but what about his present girlfriend? she has given her all to him, and she loves her boyfriend whole-heartedly but if she ever finds out, i'm not so sure if she'll forgive her boyfriend, and continue being with him. love triangle like these occurs everyday i'm certain. and how do the people involved come to terms with it? sad. enough said. maybe someone can enlighten me?
::korean mtv::
sometimes in life, when you love too much, you give too much, but in the end, you're left with nothing. not even the person you love, not even your eyes. the below korean mtv depicts it well. link that up to enjoy a good cry. *starts crying again*
Kiss - Because I am a Woman
Kiss - Because I am a Woman
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
::dear's blog::
just been to my dear's blog, and realised that i'm not as great as he made me out to be. "her language and layout could really put my blog down" nonsense. i think my dear's site is a fantastic one, i really do. it has all his priceless moments, whether its about his work, friends, or me. i dropped a tear when i saw his last entry, just days before his enlistment. yah i'm missing him again..every minute of my waking hours. and all along, i've been so caught up with missing him, i forgot he's been missing me as well. it was only last night that i realised that he does too, even more if i may add. he asked me to take a self-portrait on my mobile and send it to him last night. and he was so excited when he received it. i asked him why and he said, for the first time in the past week, that it was because he missed me. warmth just gushed into my body even as i was in the freezing train. and tears almost filled my eyes again. a sense of guilt at that moment. i've been too selfish. everything's always been about me, never him. how could i, his dearest, neglect how he's been feeling? guilty as charged.
so i've decided, to be more selfless now. to be more understanding, more patient and more accomodating, and most of all, show him all the love my little heart can give.
so i've decided, to be more selfless now. to be more understanding, more patient and more accomodating, and most of all, show him all the love my little heart can give.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
::self-penned poetry::
as i lay on my bed,
thoughts of you cloud my head.
this has been, by far,
the longest we've been apart.
i miss you.
i miss you more,
in the still of the night.
i long to be in your arms,
i long to feel your breath,
i long to feel your warmth,
i long to be next to you again.
but alas,
time is moving near.
as i dry my tears,
time is moving closer,
to the day i'll see you again. ~ PrincessWylyn
alright, i know this poem isn't good work, not even close to average. but at least its self-penned, and i think i've fully expressed my thoughts. so enjoy...or not...
thoughts of you cloud my head.
this has been, by far,
the longest we've been apart.
i miss you.
i miss you more,
in the still of the night.
i long to be in your arms,
i long to feel your breath,
i long to feel your warmth,
i long to be next to you again.
but alas,
time is moving near.
as i dry my tears,
time is moving closer,
to the day i'll see you again. ~ PrincessWylyn
alright, i know this poem isn't good work, not even close to average. but at least its self-penned, and i think i've fully expressed my thoughts. so enjoy...or not...
::tuesday::
i feel quite sick blogging these days, dunno why. true it takes time off for me, and it can be quite entertaining sometimes, but then maybe its because many posers are also blogging at the same time, it just seems strange blogging anymore. its like they try too hard, and i can't help but break into laughter sometimes. i'm trying not to be critical, and obviously i can't name those people. but seeing the amount of "effort" they put it, they dun realise it actually shows their lack of identity? its pathetic. dunno how many of you agree with me, but if copying or imitating is all they do, then, what is the point of blogging? try originality, it works sometimes you know? and in your blog, you try to be someone you're actually not, then who exactly are you? yes i agree that in life, there are ups and downs, and everyone is entitled to pen however they are feeling, but if you're writing something out of context, a character totally not yourself, it makes readers wonder, what sort of person are you? don't be afraid to be yourself, don't be afraid to unmask yourself. everyone has their own beauty, and own intelligence, and its definitely not about imitating or copying someone else. think about it pple.
Monday, October 04, 2004
::monday @ work::
you know something? my parents, especially my mom, has decided to stop me from going out at night, because my boyfriend isn't around to see me home, so she's worried? haha!! amazing. i'm so tickled yet i feel so forbidden. but i'm ok. just that i think she may be overly worried for nothing because i'm already a big girl. yes i may be forgetful and careless at times, but i'm old enough to know how to take care of myself. oh well, but i guess this will have to do for now. *pouts* and my mom, she's just too adorable for words.
i know i'm a very fortunate girl for having the blessings of so many people, including my family. which is why they will always be God's blessing, to me. *PrincessWylyn bows - a sign of gratitude*
i know i'm a very fortunate girl for having the blessings of so many people, including my family. which is why they will always be God's blessing, to me. *PrincessWylyn bows - a sign of gratitude*
Sunday, October 03, 2004
::final post::
this will be the final post for the day, promise. i'm just bored to tears, i figured if i didn't have a blog to entertain myself, i'd probably die of boredom. anywayz, here is another pic of my "world cutest puppy". he got in the balloon himself by the way, oh and check out his cute little tongue! isn't he just adorable? *cuddling him up like a stuffed toy*
oh and also, i'm kinda pissed at my big sis. as you know, she's in aussie. and we call her as a family every sunday night around 8-9pm because aussie is like 2 hours ahead of us. but last sunday, which was last night, she waited forever for our call and we only called her at like 12 midnight (her time), and she was already sleeping. so our call woke her up from her sleep, and she was kinda grouchy plus pms-ing (which reminds me, mine's almost on the way too). all of us just spoke to her for a short while. well, reason being i was talking to my baby on the phone? *tongue sticking out* but i can't help it you know. its expensive for me too! and it wouldn't make sense if i call him on my mobile when i'm at home right?
but then today, she emailed my second sis and told her to tell me to call my boyfriend on sunday nights because like obviously she's the queen and everybody has to give in to her?! unbelievable! if only she knew the pain i'm feeling at this time of physical seperation from my boyfriend, she wouldn't have been so mean! *starts tearing*
alright alright, i'm gonna get some rest now even though i don't feel the least tired or sleepy. nitey everyone...*pretending to yawn*
oh and also, i'm kinda pissed at my big sis. as you know, she's in aussie. and we call her as a family every sunday night around 8-9pm because aussie is like 2 hours ahead of us. but last sunday, which was last night, she waited forever for our call and we only called her at like 12 midnight (her time), and she was already sleeping. so our call woke her up from her sleep, and she was kinda grouchy plus pms-ing (which reminds me, mine's almost on the way too). all of us just spoke to her for a short while. well, reason being i was talking to my baby on the phone? *tongue sticking out* but i can't help it you know. its expensive for me too! and it wouldn't make sense if i call him on my mobile when i'm at home right?
but then today, she emailed my second sis and told her to tell me to call my boyfriend on sunday nights because like obviously she's the queen and everybody has to give in to her?! unbelievable! if only she knew the pain i'm feeling at this time of physical seperation from my boyfriend, she wouldn't have been so mean! *starts tearing*
alright alright, i'm gonna get some rest now even though i don't feel the least tired or sleepy. nitey everyone...*pretending to yawn*
::bdae party::
today was one of my friend's birthday party, it was at aloha loyang, and i went with my friends. it was alright. i meant my friends. the party was a little quiet. more quiet than expected i guess. but we had a nice catch-up nevertheless, and it was fun chatting with them. a little pic that we took. could have been more, but i guess everyone was camera-shy. so here goes, the gals in black!
::sundaY::
skipped church today because I couldn’t find anyone to accompany me, and going alone would only make me cry and miss my baby even more. maybe next week, i'll try to find somebody.
so here I am, alone on a sunday (because everyone went out) with just my puppy who is sleeping, as usual. my dad was the last to leave the house, and before he left, he came into my room and told me he was gonna be out for awhile. I nodded my head. when he saw what I was doing, he said to me, “I know you miss daniel very much, but no choice, every boy has to do this. a while more and you’ll see him soon.” I burst when I heard those comforting words coming from my dad. but he didn’t see me cry, I couldn’t let him because I know my daddy’s heart would break. I was on the floor, looking at our photographs together. in that album had loads of pictures we took together, and I was trying to put in some more pictures which he had given me the day before he left.
I miss him so badly. its not that bad when I’m working, because I have things to do, and people to talk to. but now that I’m alone, the emotions are running high and getting so unbearable. I thank the Lord for my parents, for my family. they’ve been really sweet to me. knowing how much I miss my boyfriend, they let me use the phone when he calls, and they bring me to my favourite places for dinner. last thursday, the day after my boyfriend went into tekong, my parents brought me to boat quay, just to see the colorful dragon made of lantern, lining up the whole river, hoping that it’ll brighten me up. It did and I’m so thankful for them.
I don’t think there’ll ever be a day where I’ll be able to live my life without my boyfriend. he means the world to me. I’ll dry my tears now, and stop crying. If he ever knew how much I’ve been crying, his heart would break too. Because like my daddy, he loves me that much.
so here I am, alone on a sunday (because everyone went out) with just my puppy who is sleeping, as usual. my dad was the last to leave the house, and before he left, he came into my room and told me he was gonna be out for awhile. I nodded my head. when he saw what I was doing, he said to me, “I know you miss daniel very much, but no choice, every boy has to do this. a while more and you’ll see him soon.” I burst when I heard those comforting words coming from my dad. but he didn’t see me cry, I couldn’t let him because I know my daddy’s heart would break. I was on the floor, looking at our photographs together. in that album had loads of pictures we took together, and I was trying to put in some more pictures which he had given me the day before he left.
I miss him so badly. its not that bad when I’m working, because I have things to do, and people to talk to. but now that I’m alone, the emotions are running high and getting so unbearable. I thank the Lord for my parents, for my family. they’ve been really sweet to me. knowing how much I miss my boyfriend, they let me use the phone when he calls, and they bring me to my favourite places for dinner. last thursday, the day after my boyfriend went into tekong, my parents brought me to boat quay, just to see the colorful dragon made of lantern, lining up the whole river, hoping that it’ll brighten me up. It did and I’m so thankful for them.
I don’t think there’ll ever be a day where I’ll be able to live my life without my boyfriend. he means the world to me. I’ll dry my tears now, and stop crying. If he ever knew how much I’ve been crying, his heart would break too. Because like my daddy, he loves me that much.
::white chicks::
watched white chicks just now, it was hilarious! this is the first time that i laughed so loudly and happily ever since my deardear went away. it was simply too comical! was kinda lame at times, but overall, it was a good movie, at least in my opinion. did OT today till like close to 6.30pm, on a saturday?! amazing. i'm really tired now, it has been a crazy week for me, but i decided i'll do a last post before i rest for the night. took some pictures with kate and nicole, and my dog when i got home.
from left to right, nicole, kate and myself. aren't we just gorgeous? *crowd agrees in unison* hee
my sister got this balloon somewhere and made fun of my dog. my mom said he looks like he's going for a swim? haha! you decide.
my dear seemed like he had loads of free-time today, and kept calling me. thank God i didn't have a lot to do so i could call him from my office. he didn't sound ok, but he hid it well. guess i wasn't sensitive enough to know that something was bothering him. at night, he called again. and this time, he really didn't sound ok. he just feels really discouraged and all. bad start for him since enlistment day. plus its the weekends, so it just makes everything alot worse. but nothing big. my poor baby. i wish i could fly to be there, hold him and tell him that everything is gonna be alright. i wish...but i know my God will hold his hand, i know my God will be with him, i know my God will make sure everything goes well for him, because everything is under His control, and i believe in Him. here's a note for all you people feeling down, hopefully it will encourage you a little. "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20
from left to right, nicole, kate and myself. aren't we just gorgeous? *crowd agrees in unison* hee
my sister got this balloon somewhere and made fun of my dog. my mom said he looks like he's going for a swim? haha! you decide.
my dear seemed like he had loads of free-time today, and kept calling me. thank God i didn't have a lot to do so i could call him from my office. he didn't sound ok, but he hid it well. guess i wasn't sensitive enough to know that something was bothering him. at night, he called again. and this time, he really didn't sound ok. he just feels really discouraged and all. bad start for him since enlistment day. plus its the weekends, so it just makes everything alot worse. but nothing big. my poor baby. i wish i could fly to be there, hold him and tell him that everything is gonna be alright. i wish...but i know my God will hold his hand, i know my God will be with him, i know my God will make sure everything goes well for him, because everything is under His control, and i believe in Him. here's a note for all you people feeling down, hopefully it will encourage you a little. "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20
Saturday, October 02, 2004
::saturday::
my first saturday without my dear with me. feels kinda odd. but i'll see him in a week's time. so yay for that! *crowd cheering* i'm feeling better already, as in the crying and emotional part. stronger also, but i still can't help the absence.
so, in my bid to occupy myself for this weekend, i stupidly asked my dear's group of friends if they are gonna be watching movie. they said yes. i guess i just missed my boyfriend so badly, thoughts of him just clouded my head, and clouded my sanity. i was glad when they said they were gonna be watching white chicks (i heard from my sis it was really quite good), and when they asked if i wanted to join, i agreeed. his bunch of friends...i guess they have a tiny problem. they are weird. dunno how to explain, nor do i know to describe. they are just weird. anyway, so movie will still be on at tonight at 9.30pm and his best friend is gonna be seeing me home. coz poor deardear has to serve the nation, so dear's best friend will have to do the job. i'm not looking foward to it, but i guess this will have to do for this week.
so, in my bid to occupy myself for this weekend, i stupidly asked my dear's group of friends if they are gonna be watching movie. they said yes. i guess i just missed my boyfriend so badly, thoughts of him just clouded my head, and clouded my sanity. i was glad when they said they were gonna be watching white chicks (i heard from my sis it was really quite good), and when they asked if i wanted to join, i agreeed. his bunch of friends...i guess they have a tiny problem. they are weird. dunno how to explain, nor do i know to describe. they are just weird. anyway, so movie will still be on at tonight at 9.30pm and his best friend is gonna be seeing me home. coz poor deardear has to serve the nation, so dear's best friend will have to do the job. i'm not looking foward to it, but i guess this will have to do for this week.
Friday, October 01, 2004
::a little gal at heart::::
why issit that just because the title of my blog is "my fairy tale", people think that i'm living in my dreamworld and that i'm not being realistic? whether you choose to believe it or not, there will always be a little boy or girl somewhere in your heart, who will carry on living with you till the day you depart from this earth. Jesus calls it child-likeness. this is different from childishness. and i choose to live my life the way i want to, in a child-like manner. my dear calls me 'baby', he knows i'm a real baby, and still a little girl in many ways. my parents, and sometimes my sisters call me darling. i'm the youngest in the family, and i enjoy the privillege of it. i've always been my parent's princess, the three of us are princesses. and now that i have a boyfriend, i'm also his princess. its not a dreamworld fantasy, its reality. and this is my fairy tale, always has been, and always will be.
::my pics all gone::
for the umpteen times, my pictures are all gone again!!! all these image hosting sites are so sucky man, can't even keep my pictures there?! maybe i should seriously consider Hello!
since my pictures are all gone, there's no point in me blogging. wait till i feel better then i'll blog again. ciaoz for now...
since my pictures are all gone, there's no point in me blogging. wait till i feel better then i'll blog again. ciaoz for now...
::bimbo::
i was just told that i actually look and sound like a bimbo? that, of course is a superficial comment. but it's pretty disturbing to hear that from a friend. alright, maybe she doesn't know me well enough. people who don't know me personally would think so i guess. like my sisters, they think i'm such a bimbo as well, needless to say, i'm furious but what can i do? its perception.
maybe i should explain where i got my accent from. i am an IJ girl from katong convent. my primary and secondary education were from there. they have quite high standards with regards to english language, and i was taught, from young, to speak and to articulate each word with a certain degree of accuracy. maybe also when i was a little girl, i love imitating people on television and i would learn to speak like them. over time, my speech has become somewhat better than an average singaporean. yes i admit i have an accent, i can't help it? i try to maintain my singlish, but when i'm with my old-time friends, family, and even with my dear, i still tend to have an accent? another reason would probably be my past churches. people there speak really well, and with an accent of course. somehow i just got influenced. its not intentional, and its definitely not because i'm a bimbo, its also not because i'm a poser and a wanna-be, its just the way i am since i was a little girl. if you guys can't take it, too bad.
anywayz, decided to post a picture of nicole and myself. this was taken in taka, about a week back, when my dear was still with me. he was the photographer by the way, which explains my wide, happy and contented smile. i really miss him, i miss him so much i could hardly breathe. but i'm trying, learning and living each day at a time, and counting the days till i can see him again. :)
maybe i should explain where i got my accent from. i am an IJ girl from katong convent. my primary and secondary education were from there. they have quite high standards with regards to english language, and i was taught, from young, to speak and to articulate each word with a certain degree of accuracy. maybe also when i was a little girl, i love imitating people on television and i would learn to speak like them. over time, my speech has become somewhat better than an average singaporean. yes i admit i have an accent, i can't help it? i try to maintain my singlish, but when i'm with my old-time friends, family, and even with my dear, i still tend to have an accent? another reason would probably be my past churches. people there speak really well, and with an accent of course. somehow i just got influenced. its not intentional, and its definitely not because i'm a bimbo, its also not because i'm a poser and a wanna-be, its just the way i am since i was a little girl. if you guys can't take it, too bad.
anywayz, decided to post a picture of nicole and myself. this was taken in taka, about a week back, when my dear was still with me. he was the photographer by the way, which explains my wide, happy and contented smile. i really miss him, i miss him so much i could hardly breathe. but i'm trying, learning and living each day at a time, and counting the days till i can see him again. :)
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