my ♥ fairytale
Thursday, February 02, 2012
| A Lesson on Religion |
but we were sorely wrong.
we are getting married on 12 May, in about 3.5 months' time and we are currently planning a wedding that is not our own at all. opinions after opinions we have to seek and to make sure everyone else (except us) is happy before we can proceed.
and especially when the topic is on religion. do you think I am unaffected by all that is going on around me?
wrong again.
I have been exposed to Christianity since I was a little girl and more so coming from Katong Convent. my grandmother who was a devout Catholic brought us to church whenever my parents had to leave town for work and she came to stay with us. from a tender age, I knew a God existed. when I was 12, I opted for a Catechism class in school instead of doing some weird moral education class. that was when I learnt more about Christ and what He has done for us, for the world.
at the end of my primary school education, my eldest sister started attending FCBC and was fast becoming a full-fledged Christian.
I remember quarrelling and getting really upset with her when she told me Mother Mary was just a human, an earthly instrument that God chose to bring Jesus into the world. and like all humans, she died. there was no other mention of her in the bible after Jesus rose from the dead and His ascension. the bible I am quoting here by the way, is the one with only 66 books and not the one that Catholics use.
so you see, what I initially believed, like the Roman Catholics, was very different when it came to the Protestant Christians.
I remember frantically searching through the bible for any evidence that Mother Mary may still be alive and that she somehow became a goddess like how the Catholics taught. but there was none. I broke down and slowly accepted that truth. that cry was freedom, that cry was God setting me free.
"Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32
thereafter, I attended FCBC with my sister and even witnessed her baptism as soon as she turned 21.
so I've been a Christian ever since I could remember and had also been prophesised over how my life would soar on eagle’s wings and would make my parents, especially my mother be so proud of me.
of course in-between, my parents being Buddhists got me to be the "god-child" of the Goddess of Mercy since I was an infant, I think. I had no prior knowledge to what this goddess had done for me or for the world. I only yielded to holding the joss sticks, mediums prediction of the future either by jumping around or by blowing air into my face, any and everything my parents wanted me to do when I was a child simply because they wanted it, I listened and I did it out of respect.
but when I was about 15, I told my parents I wanted to be baptised too. they said no and like my sister, I had to wait till I was old enough at 21 before I could be baptised. but my parents are very reasonable people and that’s why I love them so much, they asked me why I was in a rush to get baptised. my answer in my 15 year-old mind was simply this, “Jesus is coming back soon and I wanna be ready when He comes”. they accepted my reason and I was born again on 21 March, 1998.
however, not all parents are that reasonable. of course I can understand where they are coming from – like suddenly their child is no longer the same anymore. but having almost reached 30 years of age, don’t you think its time to let go?
sure there are some Christians who profess their faith in Christ and yet still hold joss sticks and pray to other gods. there are also those who still go to temples for whatever reasons. yet there are some who do not mind bowing or kneeling in front of tablets, idols, pictures etc.
"Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister." Romans 14:13
every single one of us will be asked to give an account to God on Judgement Day on why we did certain things and said certain words. those whom we have hurt, and those actions we did to cause others to stumble.
"So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God." (Romans 8:12)
being a Christian, I firmly believe in a one thing:
“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments." Exodus 20:4-6
"Do not make idols or set up an image or a sacred stone for yourselves, and do not place a carved stone in your land to bow down before it. I am the LORD your God.” Leviticus 26:1
I will bow and even kneel to anyone alive, if it required of me. but that’s where it ends. I will not bow or kneel to an altar with a craved image and a tablet. that is beyond me as a Christian because I am a child of God now, I belong to Jesus. And Jesus would not have me bow to any idols.
"So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord." Romans 14:8
and because IF I bow/kneel/hold joss sticks to other gods or craved images, then I will unconsciously be a stumbling block to non-christians present.
They would be thinking, “eh how come so-and-so who is a Christian can hold joss stick, can bow and kneel and pray to our ancestors or this god etc?”
even now, it is not our wedding day yet and we have already been challenged as to why this cousin who is a christian can do this and that whereas we cannot?
allow me to explain.
different people have different levels of faith. different people also have different walks with our Lord Jesus. so with their level of faith, maybe they think its ok to do certain things, but at where I am, I am unable to do so simply because I have no other gods except Yahweh.
i will give my due respect to people who are alive. period.
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
| 16 Dec 2011 - 3rd day of Mission Trip |
we woke up @ 5am today as we had two places to visit today. i had the most restful night's sleep the second night as my first night was a wreck with freezing aircon blowing in my face and on my head and i only had a thin bedsheet as a blanket. :/ thank God for nice roomies; one of them offered their thick quilt to me. it was bliss thereafter. :D
1) Women's Prison
during one of our team's meeting, we were given a brief itinerary for our trip which was of course - subject to changes - and amidst the schedules were that of visiting the women's prison. i remember my reaction then and it was not pleasant reason being when we first signed up for this mission trip, it was more of a children's ministry. so when i saw "Women's Prison" on the list, i freaked out. but God is forever good, He gave me mighty grace on the actual day and i was able to overcome my fears as we approached the gates to the prison.
our tasks here were mainly to minister to a bunch of women, most of whom had been sentenced to life imprisonment either because of murder; drug trafficking or simply helping someone do time so that they get monetary compensation for their families outside. my first impression of the prison and it was actually quite happening, haha! they were playing loud pop music in one area and performances and dances in another area. we girls, had to have an ink stamped onto our wrist to differentiate visitors from the inmates, whereas those guys in berms were told to wear jogging pants before they were allowed in, though it did not happen in the end.
we were later on led deeper into the premises and into a hall for a time of sharing. on our way in, we witnessed their way of life in the prison and it was actually not as bad as i had imagined. firstly there were three different grading system: those who wore brown meant minimum sentence; those in blue meant that they had to serve a medium sentence; and finally, those in orange, which also translated to maximum correction, were sentenced to life imprisonment - and these were the women who were mainly in that hall waiting for our arrival.
when we got there, they all arose to greet us with wide smiles; it was very nice of them. praise and worship started shortly after. though it was the "dracula-sounding" organ they used to orchestrate the worship, it was the women's angelic singing that really got to us. they sang with all their hearts and might, like there was no tomorrow. and if i had any inkling of how the angels in heaven sound when they sing, that would be it. the Holy Spirit was clearly present and all of us teared - i've never heard a choir sing till i teared; that was the first and it was amazing.
shortly after praise and worship, Pastor Hazeil took over and introduced both teams and straightaway she called out for those who prepared a testimony. of the three testimonies, my team leader's message was the strongest. she talked about the book of Ruth in the Bible, specifically about Naomi, Ruth's mother-in-law. her life was a wreck, after having lost her husband and son almost immediately, the turning point in her life was when she made the decision to return to the Lord. good things followed after and the Lord blessed her richly through her daughter-in-law Ruth. it was so apt and encouraging for a bunch of women who had sinned for whatever reason, lost all earthly hope but who found hope in Jesus. believing in Him gives us the assurance that there is a life after this that promises eternal happiness.
Pastor Kathy was a real comedian and she made the crowd go wild just by laughing. PH later told us, these women have never been so happy before. it was heart-breaking to know that.
most of the conversations took place in tagalog so when they suddenly stood up and sang a song for us in their own language, all of us were shocked and wanted to stand in return. but PH told us its ok to sit, they were singing a thank you song to us and my heart sank - the sincerity in the eyes, the angelic singing, the bowing and the tears made each and every one of us cry. thats thankfulness in its purest form.
you know? doing mission work isn't about us and how we are being thanked or shown gratitude too; its about us, simply telling and reassuring them that we all have an eternal Hope who will return for us.
and knowing that they will have visitors, they also handmade lil keepsakes for us in the shape of a heart; we all kept one. :)
the service or program was kept strictly to 1.5 hours. so on their way out, we distributed the goodie bag - which we packed the night before - to each of them. again what grateful hearts they kept thanking us.
they were also another bunch who were extremely cheerful despite their earthly fate. instead of blessing them, i had been blessed so much more by them. it was then did i realise, i have so much more to learn.
to be continued...2) Launch of Porridge Patrol
Thursday, December 22, 2011
| The Joy of the Lord will be My Strength |
indeed it was thought-provoking.
15 Dec - The First Assignment of Our Mission @ an Old Folks' Home
This was mainly a feeding program and our tasks included distributing packets of bee hoon (we had to put a piece of fried chicken into each packet), cut and distribute a piece of Christmas log cake each.
Prior to this mission trip, we had already been pre-warned of their living conditions and that most of them are not saved yet. Pastor Hazeil, through our team leader, had prepared us mentally but the truth was hard to bear.
Upon reaching, I smelt a foul stench coming from the inside (I have very sensitive nose so even the slightest bad smell and I would know). When we were finally allowed to go inside the compound, we noticed that there were urine stains in their rooms, along the corridor and almost everywhere else which were the result of the stench.
As we ventured deeper, there were some old folks that were locked up, literally. We visited their sleeping area and all they had was a metal bed with no mattress and very thin cloths which they used as blankets. They couldn't leave their rooms unless someone from the outside opened the door reason being, the workers were afraid they would hurt themselves or get lost if they were allowed to roam around freely as some, if not most, are senile. The old folks that were “locked up” mostly shared rooms and had 4 roommates. Then there were the “more normal” old folks whom were allowed to be on their own – these shared a bigger room with maybe about 8-10 people. And in one of those rooms, we were told an old granny died not too long ago while waiting for food; she was all wrapped up (from head to toe) and was left there.
Before I continue, there is a need to clarify that the workers (or some volunteers) at the home were extremely short-handed. It was a ratio of 1 worker to about 15-20 old folks. They were overworked and underpaid, yet they still have very good hearts to continue helping the old folks.
And it happened that our visit to the home coincided with a Christian radio station that did a Christmas program there which lasted for about 3 hours. Amidst the program, they also packed some necessities and gave to each old folk and they were all very happy. It was also a mini appreciation time for the workers of the home whom we all knew worked very hard; some even teared.
Of course there were some old folks that were demanding and agitated but it was all under control. We saw 2 grannies fighting over a plastic bag and immediately, we found another plastic bag to give the other so they would stop. It was later on that we understood that the old folks used plastic bags to keep all their possessions – they were afraid that it would be stolen and so some of them would actually carry a plastic bag wherever they go – some even hid the plastic bags underneath their clothes. Then it dawned upon me: was that all they had to their name in this lifetime? Everything important and/or precious all stuffed into the size of an NTUC plastic bag? It was heartbreaking.

But despite these, the old folks were all smiles to see us – people visiting them – and the innocence that they portrayed were that of little children. I was touched. Their joy in the Lord was evident. It is a simple decision - to live each day as if it were their last and to enjoy every second of it even though they had been abandoned by their children and the government is slowly withdrawing the funds.
And because the atmosphere was dreary, PH told us to bring the guitar along, go to each row and room to sing Christmas carols to lift the spirit of hopelessness.
What I've Learnt:
While the radio program was running, we were invited to go to the front to sing Joy to the World (again) to the audience. When it ended, they requested for us to sing another song and this time, in mandarin. It was an “oh-no” moment for many of us and thank God, 3 out of the 12 of us knew one mandarin song and so they started the ball rolling and the rest of us just mouthed the words, haha! We were stressed out for that moment but I've learnt that the Lord holds His promises true when He said that we will not be tested beyond what we can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Later on, the fiancé and another girl from the other team were asked to address the audience by giving simple words of exultation and what the fiancé said amazed me. He said that he came with the intention to give, but he received so much more in return. This was especially so when he saw how some of the old folks, mainly those who have received salvation, displayed such joy and happiness that indeed, the Lord’s joy became their strength (Nehemiah 8:10). Having been abandoned; with no proper bed to sleep on in the night; some were handicapped/crippled that required crawling to get from one place to another; and mostly not being satisfied because they do not enough food to eat everyday; - how can anyone still maintain that smile and joy? If its not because of the hope they have in Christ, they would probably not have the strength to continue living as these circumstances would have eaten them up by now.
And if a packet of fried bee hoon with a piece of fried chicken plus a slice of log cake is enough for your one meal, think about how these old folks would actually split it into 2 portions for the night as they tend to get hungry (which we heard was quite often). So the workers had to cook additional plain rice for the old folks to eat the bee hoon, chicken and log cake with.



Coming from Singapore and having lived in comfort all my life, I know how picky I am with food and fussy with the rest. To see old people eat food like that broke my heart. And here I am, with all the choices and variety set before me every single day and still I complain. When? When will I finally be contented with all that I already have?
I need to be broken again.
Friday, December 09, 2011
| Restless |
*screams*
tons of work waiting for me to clear but weekend mode has already kicked in and im just waiting for my weekly meeting @ 430pm and then i'll just count the time until its 6pm. HAHA!
i know. like what's wrong with me right?
well, but im actually quite depressed with the way things are progressing in this office especially the constant changes; i should have known - stupid company!
wedding preps have also officially started and we've been facing huge problems pertaining to our photoshoot locations, some kok-ups with the gowns and so we had to re-schedule our photoshoot for the THIRD time plus so many other things to worry about.
why must we get married??? HAHA!
plus our mission trip is just next week and im so nervous because its my first time.
AAHHHH im this close to breaking down again but i mustn't; i must be strong. God help me!

♥pretty?♥

♥used a photo-editing app on iPhone to transform this, pretty cool eh?♥
♥my current favorite!♥
Thursday, November 24, 2011
| Old Friends |
Over the past weeks, I’ve made a conscious effort in actually meeting the people I said I would meet instead of just saying it. Because procrastination is a stumbling block to building/strengthening relationships. Looking at these precious people whom I’ve met so far (and more to come) – I realize we could have been so much more - we could have been much better friends and built stronger friendships.
Nevertheless, the highlight of course involved cam-whoring, bitching, and some "sharing" aka gossip sessions! We should do this more! :)

♥the three of us since poly days!♥

♥since KC days!♥
Friday, November 18, 2011
| Have You Ever? |
I did.
It was only yesterday that this happened. And it freaked the fiancé out.
Is it my failure to handle stress or is everything simply too overwhelming that it caught me off-guard?
Even this morning I was still weeping on my way to work. During my lunch break and I suddenly broke down in tears too.
WHAT IS WRONG?!
I will not blame anyone or anything that happened, only that I'm sorry it did.
And it is now that I'm finally beginning to understand why some people have suicidal thoughts or run into depression because I think that's me right now.
Maybe I just need to be alone to collect myself again. Maybe I just need alot of rest to do the things that I've always wanted to do. Maybe I just need Jesus. Maybe......
Friday, November 11, 2011
| Dates, Dates, Dates |
hehehe. TGIF and toodles!
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
| Why? |
Over the long weekend, apart from falling terribly sick, we had the opportunity to bless a couple at their church wedding. The beauty of this couple is that they kept it really low profile that we had no idea they were even throwing a dinner banquet - at Grand Hyatt no less - and even headed straight for their honeymoon! Okkayy I got slightly distracted there.
Wow.
Allow me to exaggerate.
I almost died. Can I back out now, seriously? I am so accident-prone and have highly sensitive skin (atopic eczema) and barely 2 months to my own wedding and I have to do all these for you at the risk of hurting/harming myself?! I am honestly having second-thoughts.
And even if the bride-to-be pays for the meals at these meetings, won't we - on the receiving end - feel bad about her having to waste that kind of unnecessary money? I've a heart, you know?
Thursday, November 03, 2011
| Awhile Now |
well, truth is, i have much to say.
after celebrating the fiance's birthday over the last 2 weekends and his 2-week long ICT, things are becoming back to normal. a lil glimpse of paradise and i was a happy girl again. :)
the sun, the sand and the sea - im definitely travel and holiday deprived. and the next thing to look forward to is our mission trip to the philippines in December.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
| "i don't think i can ever love anyone else as much as i love you" |
he can be so sweet at times and so exasperating at the same time haha but well, guess no one is perfect and we all learn to love each other despite our weaknesses. i find this especially true since each day, we are getting closer and closer to being husband and wife.
came across this article on facebook the other day - posted by the big sista and trust me, definitely worth your 3 minutes:
Three Keys To A Great Marriage
"...A man shall leave his father and mother and the two shall become one flesh..." - Mark 10:7-8
There is a key verse on marriage that is found only once in the Old Testament and twice in the New. The theme is clear: We are to leave, cleave, and weave.
Leave - A man shall leave his mother and father. This is about prioritizing our spouse over parents, children, siblings, and friends. Our spouse should be our best friend. If you are married, and closer to any person other than your spouse, your priorities are out of whack!
Cleave - Cleave to his wife. The word cleave means to join fast together, to glue, or cement. These definitions imply there will always be pressures to pull the marriage apart. (Things like busyness, work, demands from children, money, health problems, infidelity, and so on). In short, marriage is about lifetime commitment.
Weave - The two shall become one flesh. Sexual intimacy and fulfillment is a by-product of a healthy marriage relationship. It symbolizes how a husband and wife become one.
Leave. Cleave. Weave. Three keys to a great marriage.
Credits: http://rightfromtheheart.org/devo/717#.Tp74JRZWjfs.facebook

