| DnD |

*stressed out

...-studying in process-...

*SCREAMS

| Stay - Goong |

| Perhaps Love - Goong |

| Answer |

oh yes, about the answer. i forgot all about it!

last weekend was spent watching the Princess Hours'. the sista bought the vcd. *evil laughter

the drama featured my DREAMCAR, its SO BEAUTIFUL. the one prettiest car ever, the Volkswagen Beetle. my heart melted when the drama displayed its beauty. i'm gonna own it one of these days.

anywayz, so after finishing the the drama, i had this weird feeling - i wanna fall in love all over again.

its funny how dramas and/or films these days always despict the process of falling in love. there are hardly any movies on couples' who have been together for a long time, and even if there were, its the typical intrusion of a third party who'd wrack the relationship up.

so passé...

some people want the one love that will last forever,
yet others wanna fall in love and feel it all over again...

according to the text message my friend sent, if you don't reply, which means that you dunno how to decode the words, it means that you do not know how to love...

i wonder, how true is this statement?

the answer my dear friends, is YOU ARE MINE.

| Schizophrenic? |

i think i'm a spoilt lil bitchy princess and sometimes i can't stand myself.

like now.

but i'm SSSOOOOOOO upset with the boyfriend.

i hate you for not making me feel special anymore
i hate you for not giving me any surprises anymore
i hate you for not giving me enough time
i hate you for not calling me anymore, i'm the one always calling you now
i hate you for putting work above me, i'm second place now
i hate you for all the talk and no action

i hate you i hate you i hate you!!!!!!

BUT on the brighter side of things, i had fun sending out this sms which requires some patience a lil bit of brains to solve it.

most of the friends chickened out
some took a long time,
others just begged for the answer.

*lolx

dunno who orginated it, a friend just text me the other day. ok, so the message goes like this:

"If you love some, you can arrange these letters into 3 words -

E U E N Y M R O I A

if you don't reply, then you dunno how to love..."

i'll let you in on the answer tonight when i'm back from my last law class.

i'm schizophrenic aren't i?

| Reality |

i made a new discovery this morning - i HATE men.

especially FAT USELESS men.

and the boyfriend too, but i'll come to that in awhile.

so that fat pig was standing there, at where we slide our cards doing a bloody spot check and of all days, i was late this morning. for 3 minutes. DAMMIT!

he gave sarcastic remarks. like what is your bloody problem?!

you're fat and have nothing better to do than to stand there with a stupid notebook and write down the names of all who were late. like for what? you'll get some award for rubbing the balls of the GM? NOT!!!!!! just leave that to the HR department.

and because of that FAT PIG, i skipped breakfast and now i'm all hungry and frustrated and i just wanted to complain to the boyfriend but he also had to piss the shit outta me.

you were in the train, i know.
you can't hear that well, in or out of a train, i know that too.
but if you failed to catch what i said previously, ask me to repeat.
DUN pretend like you heard because i had already finished with that topic and moved to a new topic and you were STILL at the previous topic.

ARGH

and does any of the boyfriends out there use vulgarity on their girls? whom they profess to love and whom they are willing to die for while protecting them?

why does MY boyfriend use vulgarity on ME?

should i still stay with a guy like that?
who is unable to hold his tongue in his fury???

i'm so mad. a hungry girl is an angry girl.

you know because of the bloody haze, i haven't been sleeping well. i just can't seem to have a good night's rest anymore. i'd wake up in the middle of the night or have problems falling asleep altogether and thus i haven't been able to wake up early and get to work on time.

i can't help it!!!!!!!!!!!

the bloody haze is lowering our producitivity rate here in singapore.

and so what if you had the runs this morning. its just your second day of work. i have been in the working society for the past 2 years and even if i have the runs and/or painful cramps in the morning, i STILL come to work. so dun complain, i officially welcome you to REALITY.

this morning has been bad. i can't imagine later.

| Word |

i am like extremely furious right now. the boyfriend's done it again.

despite us being together for the past 5 years, the boyfriend has got BAD habits he needs to rid himself off if he wants this relationship to blossom because i do not think i want to live with a man boy who says things, and never gets it done.

example one:

savings.

when we were in poly 5 years back, we were but poor humble students who didn't have very much pocket money to spend on anything expensive. the boyfriend said that when he goes into army and becomes a soldier who would then have a fixed monthly allowance, he would start saving up for rainy days, and for whatever catastrophe that will come along the way.

that never happened.

example two:

still on savings.

so when the boyfriend got into army, he still could not make good the words he said in poly days due to excessive spending on branded clothes and stuff.

the words he said never came true.

example three:

crystal studs.

the boyfriend said he'd do a nice design for me. from february of this year right up to now, i still have the studs at home.

the designs never came.

when we say something, it is binding on us. you learn law, you know how words can make or break a deal. God also said so in the Bible. you do not have to literally say the words "i promise" or "i guarantee" etc.

and when i confronted the boyfriend today, he had the audacity to deny it and push the blame right back to me saying i did not like and/or approve any of the designs he offered.

bullshit.

this whole design thing is not about whether i liked it or not, but when YOU were ever gonna get down to doing it. he dared to even mutter under his breath and said "i thought you forgot about it".

you say something, you jolly well follow through. dun do things half-f**k, i don't like it.

be a man of your word please.

| Queen Eesther - One Night With The King |

a friend from church sent a mail telling me about the new movie based on the biblical character, esther.

Queen Esther - One Night with the King* talks about faith and the love that the Queen had for her people, so much so she was willing to perish with her people if she did not manage to talk the King round, and if she had not found favor in the eyes of her King.

a woman of God, she displayed bravery, faith and love overcoming all odds.

she is the sort of woman whom we as christians should emulate.

*in cinemas soon

| Haze |

the haze is bad. i have trouble breathing, sleeping and even driving.

maybe i should self-declare a holiday soon. muahahahaha!! - juz kidding

exam is coming, doing past exam papers, it ain't easy.

enrolled for another two subjects in summer sem, and for the entire year in 2007.

will be starting a fortnight after our paper ends in november.

ah, such is the hectic life of a student cum a young working adult.

thank God my boss has been very understanding, he's been a real blessing to me.

all these for a good cause, for a better life, better future, and better prospects.

and my uncontrollable spending is back again.

bought up my mango membership,
bought up my shu uemura membership,
bought up fancl stuff and so easily qualified as their member,
bought alot of other redundant stuff,
went for the Isetan private sale in september,
i do not even want to start counting my total expenditure for the month,
man, i am officially broke...

i need to stop, i need to curb it, i need to stop going to shopping malls!!!

study, hit the books, revise and melt in law......

| Thankfulness |

so many things to be thankful for:

- topping the class in my law assignment
- the cookies which the boyfriend put so much effort in to bake for yours truly
- the fun we had @ sentosa last weekend
- the digicam just bought as well
- the coming exam which will then bring the semester to a close
- landing the boyfriend in a not-so-highly paid job but its something he will enjoy doing
- the care and support my parents have shown
- having an absolution to the boyfriend's finances
- all the simple dishes i've been learning to eat
- my threshold level for pain is getting higher
- the big sista is coming back in less than 3 weeks; she's gonna get married
- my boss is on leave until 25th oct, which means revision is possible @ work...

...and so many more. all i can do is give all glory back to the Lord. =)

| Breaking Free |

starring TLC, with the rest of us who helped build up his childhood fantasy of wanting to be a mer-man, especially JF who did up the beautiful tail.

enough said. just watch it. *lolx

| Day Out @ Sentosa |

so i gave up the zoo for a day @ sentosa with the boyfriend's friends and tried to make the best outta it, so here's the whole bunch of pics and a video which promises to tickle your funny bone.


::on our way into sentosa after everyone was an hour late::


::a nice bridge down to another island with stagnant water and lovely-dovey couples doing "stuff" together in the waters::


::the majority of our time spent @ the beach building this::


::the boyfriend and i::


::where the lovebirds stayed for the night::


::pretty obvious a rush-job huh?::


::our turns @ the fountain::


::then they wanted a pic there too...::


::and then JF got grumpy and asked how come they dun have a shot there::


::so then they had their turns there as well::


::then i got closer to the fountain::


::then the boyfriend got closer to the fountain to be with yours truly::


::and the lovebirds came closer too::

then we went for another luge ride and i freaked out again, thus am not posting any of the pics here.


::then it was time for the lovebirds to hatch some love of their own, we scrammed::

headed to Vivo City because it was just around the corner on mainland. 2 words to describe that place: Big and Empty.

then i was trying the night mode on the new digicam, and for some strange reasons, the pictures kept coming out blur.


::a fine example::

| My Daddy |

to the man i owe the most: my daddy

he's always there when you need someone

a helping hand in times of distress
a shoulder to cry on in times of weariness
a listening ear to any rantings
a big heart always ready to forgive
patient especially to me
you are my gift from God above

behind the fierce front you always had since the day i was your lil girl,
is this gentle man just wanting to be a part of us.

now i understand everything you did, was to make us stronger.
you taught us well,
and we will always bear your advices and teachings in mind.

always there to make sure everything goes right,
what would i ever do without you?

all you've ever wanted was for us to be happy,
all you've ever done was to give us the best,
and you did it.

you've worked so hard for us all,
in all of my being, i will also provide the best for you and mommy.

sure you may have made mistakes in your life,
but who hasn't?

thank you for still being around.

if given a choice, i would still want you to be my daddy.

i love you daddy!

| A Choice |

have to make a choice between a day out @ the zoo, or a fun day @ sentosa, hence am gonna weigh the pros and cons:

zoo:
1) admission is FOC
2) carpark is per entry, therefore can drive there
3) can bring another 3 pple in for free
4) haven't been to the zoo in years though the last time i was there was with the boyfriend
5) we planned this for a long time
6) it might not be easy getting the zoo card again

sentosa:
1) admission is NOT free
2) swim and tan and sleep
3) in the midst of the above, can read up law
4) more fun stuff to do i.e. the luge ride, beach volleyball etc
5) it was a last minute arrangement
6) can have sakae sushi for dinner
7) things there are more pricey

i'm a greedy girl, can i go for both please???

and why does my data keep getting out of range and out of the graph??? *arghz

| Men |

i hate weak men.

and i la-gi hate girls who pamper their men too much that they become weak as a result.

there is a limit to everything, and i mean everything.

as far as i can tolerate, i will.

but yesterday was intolerable. it was the max. i burst.

bad things always come at the same time, God always wants to test our patience and our abilities.

well, i failed the test.

i screamed so loudly and i went straight to attack the intruder.

for years, he had been living off us, my family. even with his $2,000 take-home pay every month, he does not have the audacity to give a lil for his everyday expenses which had been so conveniently taken care of by my parents for so long.

its time you went back to your home, back into reality.

isn't that the reason why you first bought the car? to go home? and now you conveniently turn the tables once again and you're seen in my house even more so than ever.

bullshit.

and what i was pissed about? the laundry.

the sista always does his laundry for him, at the expense of the big sista, mother and myself. and like i said, as far as possible, we try to give in, we try to compromise. but i really couldn't for the last time yesterday.

men. you are suppose to be strong, but as far as i can see, you're nothing but a worthless piece of leech just clinging on to the sista for dear life.

for so long, we let you run free in our house, in our family.

i dun care if what i said hurt his poor feelings, its time you woke up from your fairy tale and GET BACK TO YOUR HOME INTO REALITY!

| Lost |

i'm losing it...even i dunno what to write anymore, even i dunno what else to say anymore...

Lord give us strength