| My Very First Video |

finally, after a long long while. my very first video from youtube.com

| Tired |

i'm tired.

tired of squabbling day after day.
tired of fighting over things i can't even remember now.
tired of explaining,
tired of your suspicious mind,
tired of you standing me up,
tired of your nonchalent,
tired of your empty promises,
i'm just very tired....

i dun wanna think about it anymore...i dun wanna talk about it anymore...i just wanna be HAPPY!

can you give me that?

| Emotional Baggage |

i was there for the first time after one year.

the place felt very strange and foreign though it had only been a year.

coincidentally it was their second anniversary, and i wondered what their plan was this year round.

i kept asking the boyfriend if i should just drop by to say hi. i was after all, just downstairs having dinner.

when i finally had the boyfriend and his friend's support, i chickened out when i reached the highest floor.

all the past feelings and emotions rushed back in the instance i stood in the hallway. i couldn't, i still didn't have the strength to go back to the past.

that's one emotional baggage i thought i had let go.

the other i realised, was when i left the youth ministry 6-7 years ago.

i have to relinquish these 2 emotional baggages before i can finally be free and find true happiness.

and that is something i have to work out on my own, with the help of the closest people around me.

| My Serenity Prayer |

God, grant me the Serenity

to accept that The Boyfriend is going to club without me...
Courage to change his decision,
and Wisdom to know how to make him not go.

Living one minute at a time,
Enjoying his company at home with me,
Accepting his change in behaviour as a pathway to destruction,
Taking as i did, how i clubbed without him,
Not as i would have it.
Trusting that i did not fool behind his back,
But if he goes with his friends, it may just be otherwise.
That i may be reasonably happy with myself today,
And supremely happy in my sleep tonight.
Amen.

| The Decisive Force |

the word is OUT! ORD day is on the 28th of September 2006.

you know what i realise after close to 2 years of enduring irregular book-out days/timings, unpredictable weekends AND public holidays, badly scheduled duties, and most importantly, what the army teaches their boys??

read on to find out!

the army has taught mr. simplejunctionbox the following:

1. cannot/must not listen to their girlfriends, if they do, it means they are dogs and/or they have no mind of their own
2. to stand up for their ideas/thoughts/feelings; read: even if its WRONG
3. soldiers are tough men, even if their girls threaten and/or mean to break-up, they are cool enough to let go.
4. call their girlfriends BITCH and all sorts of hokkien vulgarity i can never learn to appreciate
5. to shrink their balls when pple with big crape are present

so MY response to the above are summed up in one sentence:

yes we allow freedom of speech, but once we say its wrong, its definitely WRONG so STOP trying your luck, ultimately, you'll be the ones crying when you see us in another guys' arms. girls like guys who care, listen and who follow what they say, who dare to question authority.

and that, my dear friends, was what we quarrelled about last weekend, and today. its making me such an unhappy girl, i just had to blog about it.

| I'm-Sleepy-And-Can't-Think-Of-A-Title |

its been awhile.

and my parents are finally gonna be back tomorrow.

the big sista graduated today, so proud of her! will be loading lotsa pictures when they're back.

many stuff to complain about:

1) the boyfriend's childhood friends SUCK big time.

group meets at 7.30pm thinking it will be dinner soon, but turned out birthday boy ends work at 8pm, we all got cheated as dinner will only be served at 9pm. let the wait in between happen to a fiesty girl running a temperature, and the outcome? needless to say, SCREWED of course.

that's IT for anymore birthdays/christmas celebrations with them.

Mr. simplejunctionbox, next time, you're on your own.

2) tried to be nice and pick the boyfriend up 2 nights ago but he pissed me off with a series of events, i could hardly breathe.

tried getting me to chauffeur 2 of his friends outta camp, in their stinking uniform, in my dad's car, with me driving.

and the outcome? needless to say again, i just happily drove off.

talk about "trying your luck", "they've helped me alot in camp", "its just a ride out" and blah, read: i DO NOT CARE.

i admit i'm sinister, but it was enjoyable watching the boyfriend's jaw dropped.

dear mr. simplejunctionbox, we've been together for 5 years. please tell me if its anything you've learnt at all, its gotta be DUN TEST YOUR GIRL'S PATIENCE coz i usually mean what i say.

no means no. period.

3) my pup is a real baby. he's starting his mood swings and has already gotten violent. still, i've got no complaints about him except STOP PEEING ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND AIM IN YOUR PEE PAN LIL BOY!!!

4) we're starting lesson this friday. its a totally new environment with a totally new subject. everything's good except ECP IS ALWAYS JAMMED AND I CAN'T DRIVE DOWN WITHOUT BEING LATE! *argh!

5) i need to sleep early, like right about now so i'll stop being grouchy.

goodnight.

| Forgiveness |

the greatest form of love is forgiveness.

i learnt this fact a long time ago in my teens, that it was precisely because of God's love for us that made Him want to forgive us, that made Him want to save us, and thus sent Jesus His Son to be the ultimate sacrifice.

i experienced this truth again when i confessed to my dad that i crashed his car. i called him in tassie and told him how i drove when i was under medication, and how i bumped and scratched.

he didn't want me to send it for any repairs. he said to wait for him to come back before doing anything.

knowing my father, that was his natural response because the three of us are his precious, dad always does things for us.

but what struck me the most was that he didn't yell at me. instead he asked if i was hurt and if i was feeling better after my fever.

i'm utterly touched.

| Crashed |

i crashed my dad's car.

i couldn't have been more duh than to drive when i'm on medication.

there's a dent and some paint came off.

i'm so dead.


::crash pic 1::


::crash pic 2::

enough said.

| Beetle |

i've always been infatuated with the Volkswagen Beetle, but ever since i saw a pink one outside Meritus Mandarin Hotel, i fell straight in love with it.

its the prettiest car that's ever been on the roads, and the only car that's got this effect on me. i simply adore that lil car.

i'm gonna be saving for it, i wanna drive it one of these days, and most importantly, i wanna own it. hee =p

so Mr. simplejunctionbox, you can forget about your Mini Cooper. if its any car that i'll be buying in the future, its gotta be the new Volkswagen Beetle.


::*melts::


::look @ its beauty::


::see how pretty it is?::