| Unfair |

life's not fair, ain't that right? alot of 'aftermath' feelings after yesterday. posting for my boy came out, and it wasn't what he expected, it wasn't what all his friends and sergeants expected. disappointment.
why does one do his best, and try so hard when it all comes down to nothing? i've been taught that whatever happens in life, has a reason. i know whatever happens in life has a reason, but what is the rationale? where is the reason?
i'm oblivious to the disappointment my baby feels, for one, i dunno what goes on in the army. but i do know golds after golds of IPPT means something. passing of SOC after SOC means something more. good behaviour and a good personality also means something. but why something totally estranged from him to be his specialisation? why suppress one's talent when you jolly well know he's more than capable?
i wonder, how does the army group soldiers into their respective units? issit the stupid IQ test right from the start even before their enlistment? pure stupidity. i foresee the downfall of this country if disaster strikes. those from OCS are just a bunch of A-level students and a handful of poly grads who know nuts about commanding a regiment! in fact, those from SISPEC would make a better leader if you ask me.
unlike the olden days where physique makes hell lot of a difference, unlike the times of my daddy where brains and brawns make it to OCS. if disaster strikes, without those old retired soldiers, this country will never make it alive. my daddy was a Captain in the army in case you're wondering. and he made it there with his capabilities. he still has that sword that was knighted by the first president of singapore, Yusof bin Ishak.
unfair. life is never fair. but at least i know God is just.

| His Poems to Me |

"I want to make you smile,
whenever you're sad.
Wash your room window,
when its lunar new year.
All I want to do,
is grow old with you.

I'll write you a sweet poem,
when i'm outfield training,
Plan a great makan session when i book out.
Oh it can be so nice,
growing old with you.

I'll hug you when i see you,
get your soft pillow when you stay at my place,
ring you when i miss you,
i've even stopped CS for a year or so.

So let me do everything when you watch fiery thunderbolt,
put you to sleep by trying not to snore..
Oh i could be the man who'd grow old with you.
I wanna grow old with you..."
~Daniel LTZ 23/2/2005 12:47PM
this sms came in just this afternoon. he wrote a similar one some time back, and in case you didn't know, this poem goes with Adam Sandler's I Wanna Grow Old With You.

"On the fallen leaves, branches and roots where i laid,
i glanced up above to see the night black sky.
And in that sky there were a million stars.
I said to myself, "What a lovely sight!"
And in this instance i thought of you,
and how i wish you were here with me.
I miss you baby, i really do.
The stars remind me of lovely you.
And i'm glad its 4 more days to be with you."
~Daniel LTZ 16/1/2005 11:37AM
he wrote this poem while he was out on his 4-day outfield trip, where he was confined for a weekend. many of his bunk-mates even copied it in hope of winning the girl of their dreams, and those who already had girlfriends, this message was sent to them too! *lolz* boys will always be boys.

"A promise of marriage i make to you.
To wed with you and live with you.
May our engagement be filled with
love, happiness and trust.
Always will i love you baby. :)"
~Daniel LTZ 22/11/2004 10:43AM
the day after our engagement, his reassurance gave me warmth and it just further confirmed my destiny with him.

"I LOVE YOU!
This statement expresses the true feelings of
Tezhong, NRIC S82***99G.
These feelings can be reflected in Tezhong's organs,
namely heart and brain.
If you find any discrepancies in this statement anytime,
please notify your nearest Tezhong.
Otherwise, we will consider this statement as correct. :P"
~Daniel LTZ 20/11/2004 5:02PM
the evening before my 21st birthday party started. he's really creative huh? and so cute!

"To Wylyn Chia
>>> This communication is meant only for the addressee
named above and contain information which is confidential
and or legally privileged.
If you are not the named addressee, this communication
has been sent to you in error.
Unauthorised dissemination, distribution, copying or reliance
on this communication is prohibited and may attract criminal penalities.
>>>Message>>>I love you baby! :-D hee hee!"
~Daniel LTZ 27/7/2004 9:52AM
he wrote this during one of those days where he had excessive brain juice running i guess. its really something huh???

| Retail Therapy |

last weekend was the last one i had with my sister before she flew back to aussie last night. and just before she left, we had retail therapy at Mango because we were trying to get their privilege card. *lolz* at least we got it. *winkz*
had my own shopping spree at Victoria's Secret yesterday in a bid to cure my depression. well, on a better note, as least one of the items i ordered was a red cardigan?
got my diamond earrings just the other day when i was out with biscuit. though not very pricey, still my vanity has depleted my resources. *pouts* i'm waiting for payday now, when is the end of the month coming???
------------------

between Constantine and A Very Long Engagement, dear chose the former of course. nevertheless, i'm bend on watching the latter, which i've heard is pretty good. Although i thought Constantine was a rather nonsensical movie, it had relatively novel ideas with regards to the Bible and of Christianity, refreshing i must say.
----------------
oh i did another collage for my boy using some old and new pictures which i found on his blog, because i dun have much of his self-portrait. i thought this looks better. *hee*

nicer right?

| Pictures |

pat came down to my office last saturday and we took a couple of pics. and since i'm bored and waiting for 6pm to come, think i shall just post some of the pics. which reminds me, just received her birthday invitation. this means retail therapy again, ha!
but i just spent quite a big amount on victoria secrets to cure my depression. i mean since i'm pretty well-paid and i can afford it, i shop at victoria secrets. just for clarification purposes, i'm not those barely living beyond their means and still crave for designer stuff. *smilez*
that aside, what to get for that gal? *thinking*

::did her face grow fatter? *crowd shakes head in unison* see i told ya!::

::a close-up so 'blind' pple can take a closer look::

::there was no one to take for us, so i had to stretch my short hand to capture the pic::

::decided to do one for dear as well, or not he'll get upset *tongue sticking out*::

| Goodbye |

my sister will be leaving tonight for aussie again, our second seperation, our second goodbye. before today became a reality, the first goodbye scene was already replaying in my head, and now the second one awaits. i hate goodbyes. seperation ain't that painful but goodbyes are. it makes you go through an emotional roller-coaster ride, and when you reach the bottom bit, tears fall uncontrollably. damn. how i dread seeing her off tonight. with dear not by my side, i sure am gonna cry buckets and buckets of tears.
but wait. she'll be married off when she returns here for good next year, so shouldn't i already get used to the fact that she ain't gonna be around anymore at home? but i still miss her! *crying*

| Anniversary |

i know its only february and its about 3 more months to my 4th year anniversary with my darling dearest, but i am already starting to plan for our mini celebration. *tongue sticking out* gonna have a really romantic weekend getaway (again), and this time, its gonna be at some classy 5-star hotel - Shangri-La's Rasa Sentosa Beach Resort. or should i say i'm actually still in the midst of deciding between this one, and The Beaufort Singapore? *sighz* what a headache!

both are pretty and i'd love to be in either, but, which one should it be? i've already made reservations at Shangri-La's for their exclusive Executive Paranomic Room though. its at the highest floor with unobstructed seaview, and exclusivity also comes with high price. but i'm sure my baby boy wouldn't mind splurging on something that only comes once a year. *smilez*

::rasa sentosa as an overall picture::

::shangri-la's swimming pool::

::i want to get married HERE!!! *hint hint* guess i've always wanted a garden wedding::

i guess part of the reason why i'm in a dilemma is because i've been in Beaufort before with my entire family, where my dad had an all-expense-paid stay at the Executive Suite. it was, by the way, lovely.

::one of their suites::

::the swimming pool by night::

but problem is, which one? *shrugz*

| a mess of me |

i have more time for myself today, unlike the last couple of days where i had work tied up to my neck! so i finally have time to really blog now.
do you know that i'm pms-ing now, and when i pms, i crave for:
1. tom yam soup/bee hoon
2. chilli crab
3. ice-cream
4. all-you-can-eat buffet
5. food, food and more food. *slurps*

did you know that:
1. my boy has gone hole-digging *lolz* as his outfield trip for 3 days, 2 nights?
2. he'll return from his outfield on saturday afternoon?
3. he'll be booking out on saturday evening?
*pouts* how long more must i endure before seeing him?


::a mess of me::

::me refusing to smile and what dear had to do which finally got me smiling, i'm hard to please huh? *tsk*::

::a mess of prince and princess::

oh come on someone, tell me i did good with the pics even though i kinda took the idea from friendster?

| When a Girl......|

When a GIRL is quiet,
Million of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at you with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,
She is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lies on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL sms-es u everyday,
She wants you to reply at least once.

When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it.

When a GIRL says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a GIRL says "i miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than that.

::BORED::

so i'm back at work, and late again as a matter of fact. *shrugz* shan't bother to explain but i received a couple more hangbaos today. *hee* now i'm waiting for dinner with my bosses and being the bored me, i took a self-portrait and hey, i don't look that bad in specs now do i???

::pretty studious huh??::

::5th Day of CNY::

barely keeping both eyes opened, we made it to church on sunday. but we went to the Paya Lebar Methodist Church which my big sis and her other half attends. its the big church just newly renovated at around serangoon. our own church service was way too early, and having had supper the night before, we just couldn't get up in the morning. *tongue sticking out*

::in the car, on the way to church, trying to look chirpy::

::the interior of PLMC, real big and majestic looking, nice! we were up in the santuary by the way::

and i guess by the amount of posts i'd written today would be able to tell you how bored i am at home. but then, i would rather be home than at work. *oopsie*

::4th Day of CNY::

on the later part of the fourth day, my family was invited for dinner at my uncle's house, and after which, we would be out for a Sistas' Nite Out with our respective partners. *hee* nothing much happened except that we kept eating and eating at my uncle's house, went for a movie in town, and then went for supper at 85 market.

::the three of us and our pup::

::the movie that we caught at about midnight::

the movie was cute, funny cute i would say. not a bad show, a display of determination and passion, well worth the money. *winks*

To Be Continued - 5th Day of CNY

::3rd Day of CNY::

on the third and fourth day of the lunar new year, we packed ourselves up to Le Meridien Changi Village Hotel where it was our little V-day celebration thing. it was a great little getaway and the place was peaceful and pretty.

::the exterior of the hotel when we just got there::

::our home for 2 days::

::the interior of our room::

::a self-portrait on the bed; the bed was just too inviting::

::after our swim where we were just about to go get dinner::

::the swimming pool, pretty huh?::

::my deardear looking cute::

::another view from the top, lovely!::

::and finally, when we had to say goodbye *sobs*::

To Be Continued - 4th Day of CNY

::Valentine's Day::

today is the 14th of february, which happens to be the world renown Valentine's Day. for me, its a pretty sad and lonely day, because my boy had to book in last night, leaving me home alone with just my pup to celebrate the day with me, while my sisters go out to have fun with their respective dates. i even had to walk him and wash up him, oh how i miss my date!
my dad also chipped in to help ease the loneliness when he offered to send me to the comfort driving centre to book my basic theory, and alas, i finally picked a date for the test! the lucky date is 2nd march, which doesn't leave me very much time, so i better start studying. *tsk* by the way, i saw biscuit there too, and i poured out all my complains to her! a waiting time of close to an hour almost killed my patience but my dad insisted i stay put, so i was grumpy and frustrated and hungry. *pouts* boy am i glad its over. *phew*
alrightey, at least i feel a little accomplished today. *hee*

::2nd Day of CNY::

my boy came over to give his new year wishes to my parents on the second day, after which, it was my turn to go over his house to pay his parents a visit. then i followed my hubby-to-be to meet some of his relatives. i didn't exactly want to follow, but my mother-in-law insisted? she even wanted me to have reunion dinner with them, and to tag along with them on the first day?! told my boy i would only follow him on the second day which i did. *shrugz* i felt a little compelled and i could tell my parents would rather me be with them, but i was caught in between. and yes i know i know, she's just trying to be nice and all, i appreciate it but i'm not exactly married into his family yet you know? *pouts*
that aside, the day wasn't that bad. *smilez*

::my handsome boy at my house::

::myself in my room; 2nd outfit for CNY::

::finally, US in my house::

::my little nephew who was at my house, cute huh? *winkz*::

::his little niece who was just too adorable for words!::

To Be Continued - 3rd Day of CNY

::1st Day of CNY::

well, as for me, this was how i spent the first day of the chinese lunar new year (and yes i'm aware we're in the midst of CNY, the 5th day to be exact, and i'm a couple of days late, but there's something called an update?)
as i was saying, visited most of my relatives on the first day and thus collected most of my hangbaos. i guess i dreaded seeing them even though its a yearly event. artificial, fake and all the pretence. *blahz* the only time i really had fun was bringing my pup to mount faber for his walk. *hee*

::the little boy also had a new shirt in conjunction with CNY::

::the sistas and the pup on the first day::

::the scenic view from the top of mount faber::

::pretty Kois, a sign of good luck i guess, also @ mount faber::

::big sis and yours truly::

::and my CNY 1st outfit::

To Be Continued - 2nd Day of CNY

::CNY Eve::

another year has passed by just like that, today is reunion dinner night and i just received my first hangbao from my in-laws. *hee* i'm kinda dreading tomorrow with all the visiting and the humidity that we're surely gonna be experiencing but i don't look like i have much of a choice now do i? *pouts*
there's currently a Miss Dog Beauty Pageant on tv right now and they're all so pretty and adorable! its a showcase of not just their beauty, but also their talents. there's even one singing!? *eyes wide open* some of them look young and energetic, while some look rather old. and then i think to myself, i still have about 6-8 years more with my own pup and i'm wondering how it'll be like the day he has to leave us? oh God, i can't think and i should stop making myself feel so depressed, its CNY and V-day is around the corner? cheer up gal! i better run to get some chores done before daddy comes to scream at each one of us. *tongue sticking out*
wishing everyone out there a Happy and Prosperous Lunar New Year! *smilez*

::Hungry::

today is my lady boss' birthday and we're gonna be lunching at some chinese restaurant in about an hours' time. i'm so hungry! *screaming* i need food in my little body! so we got her a cake, a chocolate one, hopefully it'll be good. oh i can't wait for lunch time! *tummy growling*
i managed to have some fun with photoshop despite the fact that i still cannot upload any pictures from my canon ixus. argh!

::nice?? *hee* guess i have a fettish for sketching effect pics::

::russ russ boy looking so sad::

where is my lunch??? *pouts*

::Pink::

i'm all in pink today, well mostly. *hee* just felt like it i guess. wearing my pink morgan top, with my pink earrings that my sister gave me, with pink sandals that i just got from charles and keith, and my pink watch from happy house..oh and my pink blusher. *tsk* i'm turning into Ms. Elle Woods? ha!
anyway, deardear is on his way home, and i can't wait to see him! at work now and wishing and hoping i could go off soon. *keeping fingers, toes, hands and legs crossed*
actually i'm super tired from baking pineapple tarts and washing the kitchen yesterday. those were the most pineapple tarts i had ever made in my entire being! i did at least 20 trays of them, and now i have about 10 bottles of them at home. sorrie, its strictly not for sale, just for own consumption, heh! gonna give one bottle to my future in-laws and to both my sisters' boyfriends. see, i'm so nice right? *chuckles*
and by the time we finished washing the kitchen, it came close to about 3am odd. i'm so sleepy! and i miss my dear so much! *screaming*

::Hotel 1929::

linked up other blogs in hope of a good read and found something interesting - Hotel 1929. pretty cool inside, the kind that dear would love to stay in. small, cosy and sweet. but too bad, reservations had been made at Meridien, which by the way is pretty cool on its own too. perhaps we could pack ourselves into Hotel 1929 for our 4th year anniversary? *chuckles*
had my hair cut today, though the word "cut" may seem a little exaggerated, "trim" would be a better choice of vocab i would think. not too bad, though i think i may look like a huge mushroom? *lolz* oh whatever, bad mistake to trim my hair at this crucial point when CNY is just barely 5 days away! cheer up, i look fine. *smilez* (living in self-denial)
that aside, pineapple tarts baking and kitchen washing are on tomorrow, so i requested for another day of leave to give mommy dearest a hand because she ain't young anymore, and as her daughter, i ought to do my part for always making a mess outta the kitchen. *tsk* that ain't true by the way, i'm just blabbering today again as usual. its good to be away from work once in a while, it gives me back my sanity and reminds me i still have a life.
and now as i'm typing, i'm thinking to myself, why on earth am i still up at this ungodly hour, not bathed and smiling cynically to myself in front of the com? nothing's up really. just that i'm bored and real bored and miss my boy too much...my desktop has this huge wallpaper of the both of us you see, and it has this realistic feel that if i look at it any further, he may just come to life and touch me. ok now i'm really blabbering. hah!
anyway, so its range day again and in less than 2 hours' time, at 4am, in the wee hours of the morning, he'll have to be up and running, on his way for a 24-hour range.
madness.
well, i have news for you pal, its SAF. *major eyeroll*
oh and i think i forgot to mention that my mom, both sisters and i were at Charles and Keith earlier on just now, trying to qualify for their privilege card. i had to buy 2 pairs in the end because mommy couldn't find anything she fancied, and both my sisters got one pair each. its pretty i guess, just that i own at least 20 pairs of footwear and my occupancy rate in my family rack, which my dad personally made, is almost half. *tongue sticking out* well, what can i say? that i'm a fashionable young lass? *grinz*
okok, its late, i'm getting cranky and i should give this poor com a break. nitey and sweet dreams! *hugz*

::Finished::

haven't had time to actually update my blog until now, been busy the whole day with meetings and with our product license application with HSA, which by the way, is finally finished. after 2 whole weeks of non-stop trying, i have finally accomplished the task i was given to, that i set out to do. i'm pleased with the end result. *smilez* right now, i'm just waiting for HSA to call us up and tell me that "X file cannot be read, please re-do the entire application again" and so on and so forth, whatever. *blah*
i'll be on leave tomorrow, just need some time to myself to finish up the remnants of my spring-cleaning. hair-trimming is on tomorrow, as well as alteration at the tailor.
but its terrible, i feel horrible. i miss my boy too much i'm at a lost for words. this confinement has felt like eternity and 3 more days seems like forever. this made me realised something: i may have some of the best things in life, but if i have no one special to share it with, my life is nothing. which is why, without him, i am incomplete. baby, only you complete me...when are you coming back to me???
my old com is unable to detect my digicam, and i can't download the software into this new com because i need the damn administrator's password! i feel so pathetic and maybe i am. i have no pics to post and no pics to play around with in photoshop, everything's just not right. and i won't be surprised if tomorrow's haircut turns out to be a disaster, and that the tailor doesn't do my blouse and my pants properly because everything seems to be going all wrong! *freaking out* fine, its paranoia. i shall just try to calm down and breathe. *taking a deep breath* see, i feel better already. anyway, let's see what pics i have to post and then i will post it which will then not only make myself feel better, but also add more colors to my blog? (like as if its not already that colorful?)
for the last time, i just wanna SHOUT IT OUT alright?!!!

::our very own collection of family tree *grinz*::

::Overtime::

scheduled a retail therapy session with biscuit, but it may be no-show again due to some inconsiderate aunties who are just simply disturbing. i hate work sometimes! *screaming*
and i miss my dear so so so much!!!

::something i did for my previous blog; check out the amount of fun we have together::

::FYI::

its only tuesday. not counting today, its 4 more days to bookout day, 4 more days to seeing my prince. i'm glad, but it seemed like a thousand years since i last saw him, i'm just tired of an almost endless wait. *sigh*
anyway, here's a couple of stuff FYI:
1. made an appointment with Toni and Guy for a haircut this thursday.
2. made an appointment with biscuit for eyebrow shaping this saturday.
3. my phone strap arrived yesterday! its so pretty, i had taken a pic of it, will show it soon. *grinz*
4. i'm taking leave this thursday to help mommy wash the kitchen for chinese new year (cny). she's not young anymore, so i thought i should help her out. used to be dear and i helping her, but since dear can't come out as and when he pleases, i should still carry on the tradition.
5. my own spring-cleaning is almost done, except for the windows and the bed which i can only do after the windows are washed. still waiting for my deardear to wash the window for me. *pouts*
6. going to the tailor to alter 2 of my blouses and my victoria secrets' pants with daddy on thursday as well.
7. after my haircut and the tailor on thursday, i'm gonna be shopping for a pair of diamond earrings for CNY.
8. the credit card bills came, and i got the shock of my life! shan't disclose the figure here just in case some of you faint. *lolz* but yah, a considerable amount. *tsk*
9. i have a new com but it sux because its been divided into different users and a computer-illiterate is the administrator? no offence but its actually her boyfriend who's really in charge of the com? i'm trying my best to be peaceful with those two but it just seems like its complete dominance ain't it? *shaking head*
10. i'm still waiting patiently for my prince to return to me......*heartache in process*