| Never Ever |

i cannot take this any longer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you are so killing me with your nonchalent and your all-so-busy schedule.

even i'm hell of a busy at work, with deadlines after deadlines to meet, and i still take the time to call you.

what about you?!

you laze at home the entire day, with no boss breathing down your neck, and no deadlines to meet, and still a simple phonecall from you is SO difficult.

yesterday was like that, today is still the same.

you never learn your lesson.

just one question: do you still care?

i've been bullied and suffering at work the ENTIRE week and where were you?!

- returning barricades after the AHM
- returning stores
- area cleaning
- lunch @ TP with your buddies
- chatting a whole good 2 hours

you say you've got stuff to do. yeah, go ahead.

i will NEVER attempt to call you again. OR expect anything from you again.

i'm a girl mind you. i've got my pride.

| Hey! |

blogger is down!!! *screams

or so it seems. let's see if this post stays. hmmm...

can't i just rant?!

anyway, was taking a break from doing my law ASSignment the other day and started playing around with photoshop. the boyfriend said i should explore the fonts, and ta-da!

| Big Sista's Grad |

promised i'd do a lil post on my parents' trip to brissy for the big sista's graduation. here it is. someday, i'll be wearing the square hat too. *hee


::the reason why my parents took a 3-week vacation to Down Under::


::the big sista & brudder-in-law::


::mommy dearest::


::papa dearest::


::some rock for you?::


::good boy!::


::@ mount wellington::


::still @ wellington::


::think this was @ mount cradle::


::and this was @ melbourne::

| Juggle |

i have been extremely tired since the week started.

now i have more to cope with - God, work, study, family and pa tor with the boyfriend.

this really ain't easy. i'm SO tired juggling most of the time in the day with work and study and everyone's asking why i look so shagged.

now you know?

| Mine |

| Goodbyes |

just been to rabbi_robin's blog and his farewell speech made me cry.

i hate goodbyes.

just like last night on singapore idol, mathilda da silva got kicked out though she was the ONLY one who could sing. and the fact that she was one of the nice few classmates the second sista had back then in KC whom treated me well, made me even sadder to see her say goodbye to the singapore idol.

what is wrong with singapore?!

You Breathe - Nouveaux

a quiet place, faraway in the centre of my heart
sheltered by the solitutde, like my Daddy's arms
seeking and knowing i will find
rest in these weary eyes
leaving my deepest fears behind
under an endless sky
i lift my heart up high

and Father you breathe, and i hear You whispering
and Your mercy covers me
Father You breathe
and Your presence fills the air
and i find my solace there

here is where peace abides with all that I desire
You lay me down in luscious green to rest when I am tired
Savior You meet me where I am
here on this earthen floor
dying You gave me life again
emptied of all but love
and that would have been enough but

Father You breathe, and i hear You whispering
and Your mercy covers me
Father You breathe
and Your presence fills the air
and i find my solace there

| 17.08.2006 |

i finally found the urge to blog today.

you know i can never fathom the hearts and minds of aunties. despite their age, they still wanna compare and compete with young girls and expect the same treatment from their superiors, and when there's a difference, they explode.

madness.

rabbi_robin left early this morning, didn't have time, or rather, i was too late to say goodbye. but hey, if you ever read this, sorrie i forgot all about wishing you a safe trip and to have loads of fun in the states!

lateness.

i almost knocked down a motorist that day whilst driving in malaysia. it was sucha close shave, just a lil bit more and i would have claimed a man's life. the emotions were hard to hide, as soon as dad took over the wheels, i broke down big time. i almost killed someone. someone almost died that day because of me.

to elaborate more on this point, i'd like to advise all drivers, and to-be drivers to be careful everytime you're behind the wheels. you gotta be extra careful, extra alert, check your blind spot whenever you wanna change lanes and never speed. because when you're on the roads, you owe a duty of care to everyone who's on the roads, and everybody else's lives are part of your responsibility. dun learn driving just because you wanna wear short skirts and be seen at popular places in a car you're driving. and dun learn driving just because you wanna look cool wearing shades behind the wheels. this is LIFE we're talking about. grow up and stop learning if that's what you took up driving for.

carelessness.

for clarification purposes, the post prior to this one about the nail package that i'd unwillingly signed up, actually consists of like 12 pedicure sessions and a couple more other free credits which could be exchanged for other stuff. the package was worth the price but its just that, i wasn't ready to sign something like that, and moreover i didn't have the money to pay the full amount up front, which was what i was trying to complain about but have obviously failed.

*major eyeroll

the big sista and bro sent an email from brisbane just the other day. apparently, the night we went mambo, the big sista called, asked where i were, and dad told them i went clubbing. she said dad sounded upset. actually i knew that he was the night before i left, even though he said cheerfully to have fun and be careful. thus they wanted to gently remind me of the following:

1) light has no business with dark
2) everything we do speaks of Christ - is the Christ we represent one that is compromised? or one that is set apart and holy?
3) and finally, non-Christians (including our non-Christian family members) are always looking out for things to slime us with whether intentionally or on hind sight. we who are saved have a responsiblity to preserve and defend the name of Christ.

though our intentions are innocent, i have to admit that the Christ i represented, had unknowingly been compromised. thus i have decided, i am officially abstaining from clubbing. from now on, its gonna only be clean fun, activities done in the day, or even if its in the night, it shouldn't and will not be those after-dark activities.

and this is a promise i'm willing to make, for my Papa in heaven, and my papa on earth. i only pray that i will not fail.

| I Got Conned! |

ok, so here's how the story goes:

girl goes into manicure shop to check price. girl asks boy if he's willing to wait for an express pedicure, boy don't look too ok, girl thought "ok never mind, will do it another time". boy, as usual, tries to be sweet and says "ok, do it."

girl goes ahead extremely unwilling.

manicurist comes, looks at girl's toes and exclaims, "wah your toes very dry leh, why don't do full pedicure? very fast one, only 45 mins. i'll try to speed up for you." boy goads girl on and says, "ok up to you", (girl is actually waiting for boy to say "NO" but he just didn't understand girl's body language. *sighz).

during the session, manicurist tries to promote extensive range of spa treatment for the toes, (read: JUST for the TOES) with a very nice price tag of $130.00.

ok everyone, you may faint now.

girl tries to tell manicurist she simply does not have time to do stuff like that, but manicurist tries and persists and never gave up. finally, boy and girl stood firm and said no, too pricey for something just for the toes. manicurist gives up, or so we thought.

towards the end of the session, manicurist comes again, this time, to promote something else: their classic pedicure package. oh, the prices of the various packages were lovely, too lovely, i vaguely remembered i had to breathe, i was practically grasping for air!

manicurist was very clever, waited for the boy to be out of sight before she came on poor girl. she persuaded, encouraged, swindled and finally girl could take it no more, she agrees to a bloody $360.00 package!!!

ok, you all may faint again. you may curse too if you wish.

$360.00, what was i thinking???
where was the firm girl in me???
where the the girl who was all so resolved to save money for the future???

she died the minute she signed her credit card away.

thus, i conclude, credit cards are evil, manicurists are even more evil! *sobz

| Festival of Praise |

the annual praise and worship event for christians all over singapore to come together at the Indoor Stadium.

its been about 5 years since i last went, and though i am pretty certain i have never gone with the boyfriend before, he insists that we've gone together once in the early years of our relationship. i guess that must have been real early coz i have no recollection of it whatsoever!

anywayz, attended my first FOP when i was 12, oh God, that happens to be a decade ago!!! i'm like SO old?! oh yeah, i am THAT old already. =(

if my memory didn't fail me, it was the Hillsongs group from Australia leading the worship at that time. they were the ones whom made me fall in love with christian contemporary music at a very tender age. and if i didn't remember wrongly, it was at that event which also made me fall in love with sweet Jesus.

this year was the Christian City Church group, also from Australia, and Don Moen whom is one of the most established song writer and composer for christian music, whether comtemporary music or hymns.

on saturday before we went, i prayed for revival.

the event came and went but everything was still as smooth-sailing as before. and then i think, maybe its not that God didn't wanna give me a revival, but its a question of whether or not my heart is ready for that revival, that awakening. perhaps some where deep inside of me, i dun want that kind of revival because that would mean more functions/events at church, less time for myself, my own sinful desires.

i may have strayed too far away without realising it and now, just wanting to go back alone isn't gonna be good enough. its gonna take alot more than just pure determination. its gonna take a whole new santification process.

i'm gonna be needing lotsa courage especially, to venture into areas i've never been to before.

Father, give me strength.

| Disclaimer |

Disclaimer : This Blog was created entirely for my sole pleasure of writing. It is my web space to rant, rave, scream, and explode. It was not made with any intention to cause hurt, offence, grief, depression or injury to anyone i know or do not know. Any resemblance to actual real-life events, persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Names are not usually mentioned (unless under very rare circumstances), but you will not be stopped if you wish to do self-confessions here. Confrontations/accusations will not be entertained. In short, writing on this web space is MY prerogative!
READ @ YOUR OWN RISK

did you know the disclaimer on my blog could safely, but not totally, remove any duty of care, should anyone, whom after reading feels offended and decides to sue me for tort of negligence?

cool.

and because i do not usually mention names on my blog, i basically do not owe any duty of care to anyone reading it. unless of course the person gets paranoid and thinks he/she is/are the person/pple in question and decides to take me to court.
BUT then they would not have any case in any way because once the courts established the facts that i do not owe any duty of care to anyone, any damages/injuries incurred will not be deemed as foreseeable as far as i'm concerned, and hence the claim will definitely be rejected.

the wonder of law.

| Law |

tort - damage, injury, or a wrongful act done willfully, negligently, or in circumstances involving strict liability, but not involving breach of contract, for which a civil suit can be brought

this word has been coming up alot lately, in fact, ever since we started on our first subject, Business Law two weeks ago.

to be honest, i haven't got the slightest clue as to what is going on and the best part is: ASSignment's out. three questions, due on sept 13 (coincidentally our 5 year 4 months anniversary), 2,500 words.

so i've got approximately a month's time to cough out that amount of law. the number doesn't scare me, i've written alot more crap than that before, but read: its crap and not law, not thesis, not theoretics. which is part of the reason why i'm sitting here typing frantically, hoping to find some light at the end of the tunnel and wriggle my way out, especially since i've just been through the university's database not too long ago, and realised there's LOADS of reading to be done!!! therefore this give me reason enough to start freaking out now!!!!!!!

*screams

i'm SO lost. can anyone help me?

in addition to my freak-outs, my lecturer is this indian guy with a strong native accent, whom i so cannot understand. by the time i'm done deciphering his first sentence, i miss the next and so on.

how can i not worry??? how can i not freak out???

PLUS, what the orientation lecturer said keeps playing in my head: "The (Monash) University's standard will not be compromised".

*screams even louder

i shall try my best to remain calm until i go for my second lesson at the end of this week, and hopefully i'll see the light.

pray for me pple.