| Materialistic? |

i often ask myself that question, am i materialistic? am i like how most girls are, materialistic? girls who'd go for rich guys, or just normal guys and who'd squeeze every single cent outta their pathetic state?

i dare to say no.

at least i buy most things myself, i buy my own branded goods, i pamper myself with all those expensive gifts, gifts that your partner is suppose to get for you by default. i'm not proud, but at the very least, its my own money that i'm spending on.
i dun ask for anything expensive. anything i set my eyes on, i get it myself.

i've been with my fiance for 4 years, close to 4 and a half years, and the only times i'd received expensive gifts from him was when he saved real hard, or when he was working. now that he's serving the nation, i dun expect anything from him. i am, after all, working and feeding myself.

i just want to say that i'm an independent woman. i earn my own money, i spend my own money. unlike most girls who'd be designer-brand-crazy right now, i am not because i am highly selective.

that aside, i just want to express my frustration.

i didn't change. i am not being materialistic. i'm only a girl, who'd want to be pampered after looking at all those couples around us. maybe i shouldn't be comparing but i'm envious, definitely i am. the way their guys treat them, give them wonderful surprises, bring them on holidays, buy them expensive gifts. what have you done for me? i'm not complaining, but the least you can do is STOP thinking i'm materialistic. i am NOT!

you can't even confirm the dates for our year-end bangkok trip. we're reaching the end of october, and tickets run out exceptionally fast during the last quarter of the year.
i won't be surprised if we dun get to go eventually.
my birthday is coming but i honestly dun wanna hope or expect.

please do this for youself, if not for me, SAVE up!!!

i'm going to bed. goodnight.