| Turning 21 |

another turned 21 yesterday.

it felt strange meeting up with some; people whom you were once close with.

maybe its the lack of communication, even on msn when its always "Busy" or "Away".

anyhow, for others, i had a great catch up, especially with kelvin.


::YK, pat, myself, birthday gal, daphne and kelvin::


::all from poly; though i also qualified from the 'KC primary' bunch. and bad posture on my part i must add *tsk::

*****************************************
this was long overdue.

also another 21st birthday.

just a simple and small affair.


::birthday gal's face got covered by her boyfriend!::

| Last Time |

i went to see her for the last time yesterday.

she looked peaceful.

throughout her last moments on this earth, while she was struggling with the disease, i didn't have the courage to visit her.

i didn't want to relive the agony when my grandmama was suffering from colon cancer.

she may have lost life's battle to cancer, but she has definitely won a place in heaven, just like my grandmama.

today is the crematorial service, even as i write, the service is going on.

i can't be there because of work.

God bless her soul and comfort her family.

| Passed On |

news just came, that my auntie had left us...

| Q & A |

its time for a Q & A session!
trust me, its real fun. remember to take a pen and paper to try it yah?
i'll reveal the answers tomorrow! *chuckles

1. If you went to bed at 8 at night and set the alarm to get up at 9, how many hours of sleep would you get?

2. You have 2 coins which total 30 cents. Since one of the coins is not a 10-cent coin, what are the 2 coins?

3. You are the driver of a bus. At the first stop, 13 children got on. At the 2nd stop, 5 children got off and 2 got on. At the next stop, 4 more got on and 1 sneaks off. How old is the driver?

4. How many birthdays does an average man have? How many does the average woman have?

5. Is there a law against a man marrying his widow's sister?

6. Divide 40 by a half and add 15. What is the answer?

7. According to international law, if an airplane should crash on the exact border between 2 countries, would unidentified survivors be buried in the country they were traveling to, or the country they were traveling from?

8. If you only had 1 match and entered a cold room that had a kerosene lamp, an oil heater, and a wood stove, which would you light first for maximum heat?

| Lesson |

Lesson of the week: Everything Has Its Time
Verse: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.

i may not have gotten what i wanted simply because it wasn't time yet. so don't be discouraged, and don't be disheartened, try again!

| Conviction |

its been a stressful week, and tomorrow will end it all. i'm glad in a way, but i just can't help the tension.

for all who love me, please do not put high hopes on me. all i can say is, i'll do my best.

anyway, we've been attending church faithfully the last couple of weeks, praise the Lord for that! =)

Jesus shall take the highest honour,
Jesus shall take the highest place
let all men join Heaven in exalting
the Name which is above all other names

let's bow our knee in humble adoration
for at His name
every knee must bow
let all tongue confess
He is Christ God's only Son,
Sovereign Lord we give You glory now

for all honour, and blessing and power
belongs to You, belongs to You
for all honour, and blessing and power
belongs to You, belongs to You
Lord Jesus Christ You are the Son of the living God

i got convicted by the Holy Spirit today and tears were flowing freely during worship. it was then i realised how far i've drifted from the Lord despite His faithfulness. i need to be broken once again, i need to rekindle the passion, the lost fire.

in all of my being, i want to honour Your name.

help me burn for You once again.

| 0930 |

friday morning and its raining cats and dogs.

i was late.

its my 5th time this month, i'm so screwed.

well, but its friday!



his name is also Baby.

he's 6 months old, and is the "child" of this couple friend of ours. *laughz

| After Camping |

::when morning came...::


::feeling artistic::

the rest of the pictures, the rest of the story, you can read them all on my dear's blog. i think he did a pretty decent story-telling about our first adventure together. *winks

| So Exciting! |

i'm so excited for tonight's overnight camping cum bbq!!!

even though my boy is sick and he doesn't seem excited about it, i still am! *laughz

and even at work right now, i keep thinking of the nature, the bbq food that i'd prepared, and we're like gonna be in the wilderness, its practically my first time!

ooooo can't wait!

| Updates |

promise, this will be a whole chuck of updates.

1. my auntie's condition seems to be getting worse. dad thinks she may not make it through chinese new year. its so sad. chemotherapy has made her lose all her hair, and i haven't had the courage to go visit her since news broke out about her cancer.
i'm not strong enough. seeing her may just make me burst into tears and i'm not about to let that happen.
Father have mercy on her, like how You showed mercy on my grandmama. though cancer is painful, knowing You are always near will give them courage to face whatever that may come.

2. my boy turned 23 yesterday, and fell sick also at the same time. as a result of that, we skipped clubbing tonight. not sucha big deal because we'll be heading down mambo this wed @ good old Zouk since thursday is PH.

3. swimming today was disrupted, not by the weather, but by this unsound boy who was in the pool that kept giving me weird looks and the vibes. he may have turned violent so after barely 6 laps, we left. dear was so pissed and so mad because he felt my safety was jeopardized, and also because he knew how rare i would have a craving to exercise. well at least my body ain't aching so bad anymore, and besides, i did go for an express pedicure, so that should be consolation enough. =)

4. this coming week is gonna be so happening because we get 2 PH in the same week! and dear and i are also planning an overnight camping cum bbq by the beach, under the stars. monday night through tuesday morning, its our first outdoor stay so we're pretty excited about it. pitching the tent and all, which by the way, had been sucha long time ago.

5. i realised its been a long long time since i last posted pictures on my blog (apart from the levi's fashion show thingy). we used to take pictures of any and everything but these few months had been so d-e-a-d that my blog has become so filled with words and no colors!!!

6. again, i would like to clarify that i do NOT love louis vuitton, nor do i like them. i merely just like their very cute mini speedy bag. its sssssoooooo adorable you know!!!

7. and after i receive my bags, i am SO gonna cancel my account with ebay and never do auctions again. promise promise promise.

did i miss out anything else? hmmm...i dun remember except that i know i'm suppose to blog about last week's sermon but i left my notes at home, i'm @ dear's house now. so i guess i'll blog it together with tomorrow's sermon.

oh and is my new blog skin nice? dear chose it for me. *hee


::for keepsake::


::i'm a lil gal!::

| Happy HatchDay my Love |

this goes out to the dearest one in my life:

Happy Hatchday Dearie!!!
hope you like prezzies i got you!
*chuckles

not young anymore huh, better start making plans for the future liao hor...

| Migraine |

i'm having a terrible migraine on the left side of my head. this feels so horrible especially since its been throbbing my head since late morning.
i have approximately half an hour before i knock off and thank God my daddy is coming to pick me up. my toes are hurting too, because of darn Pretty Fits' heels, i'll NEVER buy from them again, ever!

i'm so whiny today because i dun have enough sleep, i just want to laze on my bed and sleep!

| Inspire Envy - New Princess Fit |

and so we were there, the Levi's Lady Style Fall 2005 Fashion Show @ Raffles City. failed to get someone to go with me, and in the end, i got my good old faithful best friend along - my fiance. *heh
at least, i know he never fails.

it was cool, pretty gala and glam, with all the ang moh models. pity i forgot my digi or there would have been more pictures than what i have to offer.


::before the start of the fashion show::


::still waiting for the start of the fashion show::


::this is what the stage looked like before the start of the show::


::only one final shot @ the end of the show::

the entire show took barely half an hour, and yet they'd showcased the latest princess fit(s) that they already have in stores, and those on the way to stores somewhere next month.
we got a nice lil charm bracelet from Elle (who was the sponsor) and also a lil notebook from Levi's as door gifts, nice.

hmmm which reminds me, my birthday is coming soon, and that means birthday discounts @ Levi's, Topshop, Mango and la-di-da-di-da...i'm going broke!

| I'm So Bored! |

i have nothing to do, why won't anyone gimme anything to do? how am i gonna pass the next 8 hours doing nothing? *cries

i just wanna have something to do so that time would pass faster, i'm sick of not doing anything anymore!

| Ebay |

you see, the problem after finding a stable job comes excessive spending on nonsensical stuff. stuff that i dun need, stuff that i simply want.

but before i carry on, i want to apologise to my dearest fiance.

baby, i'm sorrie about that post last night. i just needed an outlet to ease my emotions, it was hard for me to contain. i hope you understand that opening this blog, i intent to keep it until the day we grow old, so we can look back and laugh at the things we did, that happened, and all that made us love each other more.
you weren't all that bad. you've been good to me, and i could never have asked for anyone else, apart from you, to be the one in my life.
besides, if i were to open a blog and not write things that happen, then this blog would be like most others where people just boast and show off the things they do and all that, you know what i mean?
please forgive me. *kneeling, pulling my ear and begging for forgiveness

ok, now i can carry on.

wanna know what i've been busy with the last couple of days? i was into auctioning @ ebay. i've mentioned briefly in my previous post, but now, i'm going a lil further.

honestly, they do have a WIDE and HUGE variety of stuff, branded, non-branded, designer, non-designer. you name it, they have it. but the real problem with them i guess, is their sub-company, PayPal. its easy, its fast, its also furiously dangerous.

no. of times i almost got cheated: 2x
no. of emails i'd sent to harrass PayPal to get my money back: 30

yet despite of these all, i just couldn't stop trying to win the bid!
(like what was wrong with me??)

no. of bids i'd won: 4
no. of items on its way: none

you see what i mean? after you've made payment, they might not send the items to you after all. or perchance, they send the wrong items, or not like the ones they claimed on ebay, then the hussle of returning and getting a refund and blah blah blah, just gets on your nerves.

in short, i'd learn my lesson. and now i'll just keep my fingers, toes, hands and legs crossed that i'll receive the items soon, and then it'll be the last you'll see of me ever on ebay shopping. EVER.

we're heading out to jalan kayu for supper in approximately 20 minutes.

| Materialistic? |

i often ask myself that question, am i materialistic? am i like how most girls are, materialistic? girls who'd go for rich guys, or just normal guys and who'd squeeze every single cent outta their pathetic state?

i dare to say no.

at least i buy most things myself, i buy my own branded goods, i pamper myself with all those expensive gifts, gifts that your partner is suppose to get for you by default. i'm not proud, but at the very least, its my own money that i'm spending on.
i dun ask for anything expensive. anything i set my eyes on, i get it myself.

i've been with my fiance for 4 years, close to 4 and a half years, and the only times i'd received expensive gifts from him was when he saved real hard, or when he was working. now that he's serving the nation, i dun expect anything from him. i am, after all, working and feeding myself.

i just want to say that i'm an independent woman. i earn my own money, i spend my own money. unlike most girls who'd be designer-brand-crazy right now, i am not because i am highly selective.

that aside, i just want to express my frustration.

i didn't change. i am not being materialistic. i'm only a girl, who'd want to be pampered after looking at all those couples around us. maybe i shouldn't be comparing but i'm envious, definitely i am. the way their guys treat them, give them wonderful surprises, bring them on holidays, buy them expensive gifts. what have you done for me? i'm not complaining, but the least you can do is STOP thinking i'm materialistic. i am NOT!

you can't even confirm the dates for our year-end bangkok trip. we're reaching the end of october, and tickets run out exceptionally fast during the last quarter of the year.
i won't be surprised if we dun get to go eventually.
my birthday is coming but i honestly dun wanna hope or expect.

please do this for youself, if not for me, SAVE up!!!

i'm going to bed. goodnight.

| @ work |

i'm @ work now. its a boring day but at least boss ain't gonna be around because he's on leave. he's always on leave. that's good for me. BUT this time round, he's given me work to do, and i'm in the midst of it. some profit & loss forecast thingy for the next 3 years. i have no idea how to do it at all man. well, shall just stone until i feel like doing.

i was on ebay last night, bidded for an LV bag just for fun, and man i actually got it? i dun really like it and yet i got it? *damn

guess i dun have a choice, maybe i'll sell it off or something. whatever, or give it to my mom for christmas present? yeah i'll work something out.

but honestly, auctions are surprisingly fun. but i hope i dun get addicted like how i got addicted to VS.

alright, enough of crapping. gotta get back to work. later then.

| Long TIme |

yeah, its been a long while...

didn't get to ice-skate as planned last saturday. feeling: sucky
didn't get to buy my foundation. feeling: ugly
didn't get to buy my red brolly. feeling: wet

(by the way, which is better, esprit or mango?)

didn't get to do anything memorable last weekend. feeling: unaccomplished

i guess what i'm really trying to say is that, last weekend sucked big time because of poor planning, poor coordination and serious lack of integrity. i mean like comon, you gave your word, you dun just forsake your friends for girls?! its sick.

and not to mention i was and still am pmsing BIG time and i could explode any minute. my head spins in huge circles, i get super tired and drowsy at all times of the day. i'm trying to abstain from cold drinks but try telling that to the not-so-cooperative weather.

i've got tons of stuff i need to get but am hanging on till i get my pay, hopefully next week. and loads of bills to clear, my credit card bills, handphone bills and erm, actually that's it. BUT they add up to hundreds ok? living in singapore ain't cheap.

ohoh, but guess what? the only thing that really made my day was getting Anna Sui's Secret Wish perfume. well, i dun adore it but since dear's best friend was like so helpful, i thought why not? so am just waiting to meet up with him to get it. heard he got a lil handbag, minature, body lotion and bath gel for me too. *hee all for the price of one bottle.

and can i just add that i do NOT like LV, i dun, honest. it just doesn't appeal to me except for that cute lil mini handbag. *aaawwww
christian dior and burberry appeals more to me. yup, just wanted to clarify that.

alright enough said. gonna get some food.

| New Place |

this is my first post from my new office. hmmm this feels weird because i used to blog in my old office, guess it just reminds me of the times i'd spent there.

time flies, its been about 3 months odd since i left. sometimes i wonder how things are going in there, miss the aunties, miss the place where i used to sit and all that stuff.

BUT we must move on.

i'm learning alot in this new place. a big organisation, gives me a feel of how things are run differently. i'm thankful for this opportunity.

i'm heading to town after work to collect my ring, get some necessities and maybe go up and visit my old office? we'll see.

hours to go before knock off: 1 hour
hours to go before ice-skating tomorrow: less than 24 hours

ha, i LOVE fridays!

| Congrats to you, Bim! |

oh man, i just have to blog this down, for memory sake. *evil laughter

my deardear has this friend, from primary school all the way till now, but they kinda stopped contacting each other because the girl that he always brought along to our outings had this serious problem with staring at girls, especially at yours truly. she was kinda like a scanner, scanning every detail of the clothes i wear, my shoes and the bags that i carry, what color pedicure i did and all that bimbotic stuff.

*argh

and i'd always get real frustrated and stare right back at her issuing her with somewhat like a challenge cum warning. ha and she'd always become like a timid mouse and look away.

i'm aware i've deferred once again.

back to my story.

so, they always came out together as 'friends'.

BUT now, they are finally together.

*disgusted

so gross right? like after her years of tagging along does she finally get a name, GIRLFRIEND. what a poor thing.

oh well, i must congratulate them nevertheless, especially to that bimbo.

*sniggers

man, am i just mean or mean?

i know, i'm sucha baddie. *evil laugher

| Tired Tired Tired |

i want to complain.

my eyes are going blind from the multitudes of figures i have to face everyday at work, which explains why i am blogging less and less.

plus, my office com is still not linked up to the internet yet! its been ages!!!

*argh

BUT the good thing is, my boss is going on leave, so this week no government. *yay

and i'm so sleepy and so tired, i have to put toothpicks between my eyes or i'll miss my favourite korean drama!!!

| Pissed |

i just have to blog this down even though my eyes can barely open, and every bit of my muscle and cell are breaking down and telling me i have to sleep if not they will degenerate.

there's this instructor of mine whom i absolutely detest. he's a skinny man who is seriously health-conscious and is freaking strict and fierce when it comes to driving. i honestly think he's got problems with female drivers coz he shouts at me, gets pissed at me, ignores me and sometimes even gives me attitude when i ignore him! what rubbish?!
first of all, its not like as if i had a choice in who i want my instructors to be, although i could but i dun see a point in spending an additional 8 bucks on that.
right, and i'm deferring again.
so i've been, unfortunately, getting him for the past couple of lessons and i tell you, sitting with him in the car just makes me ill. i totally have no mood whatsoever to drive. so i delibrately make the car jerk like nobody's business just to annoy him, and he'll be shouting like "clutch it! clutch it!". like come on, dun i know that? it was on purpose, STUPID!!! *laughz and i also mount the kerbs just so he'd get frustrated and go like "your turning is too wide". duh i know that! i just want to annoy every cell in your body so that you will automatically opt not to teach yours truly, ever again!

*argh

and last of all, he also never fails to make me feel lousy of myself. i know i ain't sucha fantastic driver, and perhaps i'm a lil slow when it comes to parallel parking, yeah by the way, i kinda suck big time at that, but i'm cool with the rest. honest.
all i need is some patience.

| Unwell |

skipped work today, coz i fell ill.
slept the entire day, no kidding.
and i still feel horrible.

anywayz, its gonna be friday tomorrow.
TGIF!
am gonna enjoy it even though i'm sick.

oh and we might be gonna catch 40 year-old virgin.
ha! the title alone sounds hilarious. *laughz

alright, gonna get back to my rest.

| Morning |

yesterday's morning reminded me of the time when i was in kuching, sarawak for a youth camp. that was a long time ago, about 6-7 years back. the mornings there were cool with the sun still shining, it was a pretty place because the camp site was somewhat in the middle of the forest.

i thought of the kind of passion i had then, for the Lord. i was alot younger then. and thinking about it brought guilt.

i long to find the lost fire.
i want to burn for Him like i did before.

why issit that when one is younger, doing things are alot easier?
no stress, no consequences.
the temptation of the world, this secular world.

| Ages |

yes, its been a long time since i really blogged. haven't had the time since i started work at this new place. all is well and i thank God for the locality, the people and even the pay. i pray this will be my final stop before i embark on my degree come year 2007.

it ain't long and it ain't short, but i'm going and that's that. i've waited and wasted my time while i see my peers almost completing their own degree, i feel a sense of envy at times. but to each its own, no use rushing when the time isn't up.

oh and i've booked my driving test. finally. seemed like it was never gonna happen, and i'm rather amazed at myself for being this brave to do it when i said i was going to. guess i didn't wanna disapppoint my parents.
so it will be somewhere early next month, and if i'm lucky enough, i'll be driving before my birthday? we'll see.

alright, enough said. its monday blues.

| Hungry *pouts |

am munching on sotong balls as i'm typing this. i'm SO hungry!!! my boy booked out just now, and i'm waiting for him to finish bathing before we cycle down to fisherman's village for dinner and for the sunset. oh how i miss the nature!

this job is good, it still ends @ 5.30pm. muahahahahaha!

| oh how i miss blogging...|

my head is spinning as i'm penning this entry. needless to say, it was my dear boy who was snoring non-stop for 3 nights in a row that caused my insomnia, and now, migraine.

i'm not mad at him, just mad at myself for being sucha light sleepy.

anywayz, i did have a wonderful weekend because for once in months, i think, we finally made it to church, and pretty on time i must say. you know its no joke getting up at 8am in the morning, especially on a sunday where by default, is supposed to be a sleep-in day.

sermon was good, it was on Psalms 133. a very short, but meaningful psalm on Unity. remember how Paul talked about the various members of the body of Christ, all doing different works to complement each other? by nature, everyone is made differently, that's how fights, conflicts and differences happen. which was why the speaker urged all to live at peace with one another, in unity, so that we may work towards the building of the Kingdom in time to come.

and did you also know that precious oil is made from 4 different spices and one oil? (exodus 30:23-25) cassia, cinnamon, fragrant cane, myrrh and olive oil. all with antiseptic properties. all mixed together to prevent bad things from happening. likewise with unity, we can prevent bad things from happening.

"united we stand, divided we fall."

simple as that.

| So Sleepy... |

alright, its been almost an hour and he's still snoring away like nobody's business! OMG!!! i'm so sleepy but he's so noisy and i so can't get to any rest. its either he gets up and stops sleeping or i'll just stay up to watch cable.

fine, i've decided, he's gotta get up. i need to sleep!

| Please Educate the Boys on This |

this is hilarious. seriously. ripped it off some email. worth a good laugh!

This a good lesson for men...
In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men:
Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, but that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a collegebuddy (-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?"

You answer it frankly (-5)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

[Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem,

You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what are chances do you have???

| I Can't Sleep! |

its 2.40am and i can't get to sleep because:

1. i slept too much last night (i was on medication)
2. my boyfriend is snoring BIG time, i really really can't get to any sleep
3. because he has block nose (which is causing his snoring), i can't switch on the air-con, and tonight isn't exactly the coolest or windest night.

and now i'm all grumpy and fed up because of all these disturbances. i'm a super light sleeper and the slightest noise, sound or whisper and it will keep me up the entire night.

damn, this is not good at all.

by the way, how's my new skin? nice? that cute lil boy on the cover happens to be yours truly's pup ya know?

anyway, i think i'll go surf friendster or something. i just can't sleep! *screams

| Indecent Proposal |

caught this movie last night outta boredom, it was a rather old film and i dun remember ever watching it.

it was about this young couple who eloped because the guy's parents (i think) were against their relationship. they had been together since college days and after eloping, eventually got married.

then one day, they found the perfect spot for their dreamhouse and paid a deposit for the land but didn't have enough cash to pay up the rest of it, so they had to mortgage it to the bank. meanwhile, they tried their luck to find like USD50,000 at the casino, lost it all and met this billionaire guy who was interested in the girl, the wife. and he gave them an offer:

1 million dollars for 1 night with his wife.

they were stunned but ironically it was the wife who said go to hell, only afterwhich did her husband said the same thing. but the billionaire insisted they gave it a careful thought. just one night and you'll get a million bucks, not everyone can resist that kind of money huh? so they succumbed to the love of money and the husband foolishly sold his wife for a night with a complete stranger for a million bucks.

then as the story continues, they started quarrelling big time because the husband was getting insecure and the wife simply refuses to talk about what happened that night and they eventually split for awhile. and she typically went out with that rich guy following him wherever he went for his classy functions, while her husband was in a pathetic state.

one day, she decided she wanted a divorce and sent papers to him. totally depressed, the terms of the divorce clearly stated he would get to keep the million bucks. he didn't want it, and so he gave the money up to an auction. he signed the papers in her presence and said,

"i realised it wasn't because you didn't love me anymore, but because he (the billionaire) had more money than me."

then he left.

she thought about it, and the billionaire too, graciously let her go back to the one she loved the most - her husband.

moral of the story?

its love again, isn't it?

or should i say its materialism?

everything nowadays is about love. yes, undeniably, love is the IN thing. always have been and always will be.

BUT how can one go in and out of a relationship and still has the audacity to claim its in the name of happiness, or worse, in the name of love, where obviously it was materialism to begin with?

1. love is a commitment.

if you can't commit due to your materialism nature, do yourself a favor and stay single, perhaps be a nun or a monk, or take a vow of celibacy. until you are ready and think you can handle having another significant half, then by all means.

2. love is a decision.

same logic as commitment, but stronger. because one decision can affect the course of your entire life, similarly, one decision can break your heart too.

3. one love.

i truly believe in only one love in one's life, the one they call it, the "true love".
say if you've had like 16 partners or more before (no kidding! i know of people who've actually had more partners despite their young age!!!), then let me ask you this,

which one was the one you loved the most?
the one whom you truly loved?

can't answer?

because surely, that wasn't love!

its sad seeing how some people always claim to be in love with this particular partner and then before you know it, they're in love with someone else! i'm impressed sometimes, amazed at how BIG their heart really is, to be able to tolerate more than one love, i wonder how they do it.

and only when they truly understand what love is then i guess they'll find that one true love of their lives.

| Blogthings |

just outta boredom, surfed a couple of blogs and found this on thedoll's blog.

Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde

You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog. You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head. Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent. You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Your Blog Should Be Orange

Your writing has a star quality - it's charming, bold, and flamboyant. You write what's on your mind, without fear of embarrassment later. You are one of the most honest bloggers around, and people appreciate your daring persona.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

| Stairway to Heaven |

alright, so i totally dig this show. its soapy, sad, emotional and full of crying. its like the world saddest show! *sobs

| Rantings |

i'm a happy gal today because:

1. my mom and i are gonna buy birkenstock online and i've already chosen the one i want. wanna see it? *hee

2. my fiance is coming out again today, i'm SO happy! the army should let their guys out more often. seriously.
3. i'm gonna start work tomorrow. yeah i think i didn't mention, i quitted that horrific job last monday and will be starting on a new, better one tomorrow.

i'm a not so happy gal today because:

1. my damn period is LATE! dun even go there, its not what you think it is. its just that i think when girls come of a certain age, their period cycles tend to change? yeah because my last period was super early, and this month's one is super late! i just dunno what's wrong with my body anymore! *argh
2. i have to leave house today even though i have not the slightest mood to go out at all. i just dun feel good and i wish i could stay home and spend time with my pup.

3. i'm broke and i need cash!

enough said.

| Daydreams |

i wanna go to the edge of the world
i wanna have the cold winter wind blowing in my face
i wanna feel the warmth of summer
i wanna see maple leaves falling in autumn
i wanna hear birds chirp in spring
i wanna walk around the streets of aussie
i wanna go up the highest peak of the world

where there's a world without pain
without struggles
without worries
without stress
without waiting

only love
only happiness
only dreams
only hope

meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me.

belonging to you was the one miracle that happened in my life.
i love you baby!

p.s how come i dun see your love declaration to me on your blog one huh??? *hint hint

| Rights and Wrongs |

ok, i have approximately 10 minutes before my tv marathon starts for the night, so chomp chomp.

let's say, a couple goes to club with the guy's friends (all males) and due to "a drop too much" she allowed one of her boyfriend's friend to dance with her, hold her, and maybe touch her?

how do you make that out?

well, i always look at both sides of the coin. obviously it takes 2 to clap. i know that guy went a tad too far, but honestly, if she didn't allow it, the guy would never have gotten the chance to do so?

whatever, but the scene that night was dramatic. seriously.

maybe like one of dear's friends had nicely put it,

"we should abstain from clubbing for awhile" .

and i couldn't agree more!

| Makeover @ Coverlooks |

it was fun, cool and romantic. truly an experience and i'm glad we went for it. =)

p.s (click on the pic for a Larger View)

| Food |

i wanna talk about food today, since i'm starving and still waiting for my dinner to arrive.

last weekend was a very satisfying one, because in just 2 days, we've tried 2 new places:

1. Hob Nob @ Far East Shopping Centre
2. Jerry's BBQ and Grill @ Jalan Kayu

and the verdict for both places?

MARVELOUS!

i only have pics of Jerry's BBQ and Grill, and some of their signature dishes. *yumz



oh and by the way, watch OUT for our makeover pics in my next post!

| TGIF |

just like that, another week has passed, and i can't help but feel all so excited that the weekends are HERE!

throughout this week, many things happened. one of which was the demise of one of dear's uncle. we went for the wake last night, just to pay our last respects, and my deepest condolences to his entire family.

hmmm and now, the list of activities lined up:

1. our makeover pics are ready and we'll be heading down to collect them tomorrow, once we've had our well-deserved rest, ha!

saturdays and sundays are rest days, and its the time where you can take your own sweet time and do your own stuff and nobody would say anything.

2. sunday is the army's marathon and daddy and i will be going? oh man, imagine me, yours truly, running a 6km long marathon, *lolx honestly, when was the last time i even ran (besides for the bus)??? centuries ago! yah just go ahead and laugh till you roll on the floor.
dear would be there too with his battalion, hmmm oh well, whatever, doesn't bother me.

3. and i have an auto transmission driving lesson tomorrow, i dunno for what. total waste of my time and money, *sigh i'm only going because its compulsory.

what else? ok, officially brain-dead. its 12.26am in the morning alright? i'm totally shagged out! *bleah

| Work |

i'm back from work.

i reached home at 6pm.

did i mention i end work at 5.30pm?

well, so i was already done with my work at 5.23pm, and i had nothing else to do. i couldn't possibly find more work to do just to fill that 7 minutes up isn't it? so by the time i cleared my desk, it was about 5.25pm, and i just left.

my supervisor didn't look happy.

what's her freaking problem?

i stayed behind for more than 15 minutes last week on 2 days, dun think this is too much to ask for is it?

i don't care.

if she ain't happy, then ask me to leave. i'm not hard-up for this stupid job.

*major eyeroll

| Just for Laughs |

guys, what you think??? *laughz

| School |

work was alright today, but like what my father says, whatever job that i do now, its just a complete waste of my time. i should be out there in australia pursuing my bachelor degree right now, instead of just being a nobody in a normal office. *sighz

sometimes i get upset at the thought of it too. BUT i've already waited for a year, i just have another year more to go before we'll be on our way to australia. and this is my motivation until it becomes a reality.

dear, help me make it happen?

| My Updates |

been a while since i last posted, kinda miss my blog actually. i've grown so attached to it, its hard to be away from it even for a couple of days. *hee

this weekend had been a fast and short one, like all other weekends. well, at least what's worth is that we tried to make the best outta every minute, and tried to stretch the time we have on hand with each other, so that at the end of it, our weekend would be more fulfilled.

friday:
i dun really like my present job. i can't quite describe how i feel about it, but most importantly, i know i'm not happy. the people there are nice, mature and alot more pro if you know what i mean, and work isn't that crazy. but at the end of the day, i didn't feel happy. maybe it takes some getting used to, i'm not sure, but i certainly hope the negativity would go away, and i'd feel better at the end of this week, if not, guess i'll leave?

SO, my only consolation was to wait for my soldier to book out in the night, where we went to changi v for my dinner, his supper. *heh

saturday:
had driving in the early early morning, it was painful trying to get up and it was dreadful in the end cos i had alot of scolding from this super impatient and sickening instructor. *argh the thought of it just makes me want to murder him.

BUT the happy thing was that dear accompanied me there, for the first time, after i'm almost finishing with my lessons. well, better than none. *smilez

then we went to town to open our very first joint account. *yippie its significant, that's why i'm penning this down. after 4 years of stability, we finally decided it was time where we did some concrete action regarding our wedding fund. we don't want this relationship to be just a dream, or just a fairy tale, but we want to make it come true, we want to make this dream a reality. *laughz

sudden urge to want to sing ktv, and so we went down for an impromptu ktv session at kbox. i sang out all my frustration that accumulated during driving earlier on. *boo

after that, we went for some retail therapy. ha! this activity never fails to brighten up my day. *hee
got my black earrings, my makeup remover and some neccesities. hmmm, so happy!

and in the night, dear's club-siao army friends asked if we were interested to go Chinablack to finish up the Jim Bean and this other hard liquor they opened earlier. well, since drinks were on the house, so why not?

but honestly, that place seems to be getting from bad to worse. music sucked, people sucked, everything sucked there, and we are so not gonna waste our time and money there again. alright, at least for the time being. *hee
we left early, cos the djs seemed to be getting confused about the kinda songs they were playing, didn't sound like trance, nor r&b, or anything. just sounded like trash. *blah

sunday:
today. well, we planned for a swim but it ended up raining cats and dogs even before we got up. so, the entire day was spent lazing and basically lazing. *laughz

BUT we did manage to leave the house and went to the airport for some nice food. got back and it was time for my solider to return to his camp for his duty. *sighz which explains why i'm here writing this entry now.

how boring?

i miss [you] already, come out on tuesday and thursday for me ok?


::always happy with [you]::

| Vicious Cycle |

i was a happy girl today until news about my aunty being sick came about. she has lung cancer, terminal stage, and she may go any time.

its sad, and we all got affected emotionally. we aren't close with her though she's my dad's eldest sister, and his closest sibling at that.

all her hair fell off because of chemotherapy.

then i thought of my grandmama too, who passed on due to colon cancer. that was about 5 years ago. i saw how she bravely fought with the disease but eventually succumbing to it.

life is cruel.

and slowly, one by one will leave me one day. then new life would come about, bringing balance to this planet.

the vicious cycle of life.

| My Wishes |

looking at the changes around us, indeed we have grown.

but i still:

wish you were here with me.
wish you would pay more attention to me and my sore eyes.
wish you wouldn't be so into your blog.

you were just here in my house,
but i felt alone.
you were just here in my house,
but we felt distant.

something's always wrong.
you keep apologising, but what's the use?
you said you don't like me blogging about our problems,
but where else can i turn to?
this is MY online diary,
this is the only place i turn to,
this where i am entitled to MY freedom of speech.
you cannot stop me.

i would love to talk things out,
provided you would gimme some of your time.
i would love to talk things out,
provided its not on the phone.
i'm always on the phone with you,
i'm sick of that.
sometimes i just wish i could see you,
and talk to you face-to-face.

but we can't,
because of the army.

can't take leave,
can't attend c,
can't leave the country,
can't have a life.

*sighz

sometimes i just wish that...

| Makeover |

will share the pictures once its ready. keep your eye on the 18th! *hee

| Friday, Saturday, Sunday |

friday:
had a quick catch-up with pat. her good friend came after that, and so did her date. *chucklez
remember what i said, take your time, take things slow, you'll be ok. *winkz

saturday:

on saturday night was dear's friend, Jingying's key-to-freedom day.

sunday:
we spent our day at the studios of Cover Looks where we had a couple makeover session. i practically had to drag dear there, but well, it turned out good. ha and now we're just waiting for our pics in about 2 weeks' time.

| Conjunctivitis |

Conjunctivitis: Inflammation of the conjunctiva, characterized by redness and often accompanied by a discharge.

that is what's happening to my eyes right now.

i look like a hideous freak.

i have to wear shades whenever i step outta the house.

first it was my left eye, then it spreaded to my right eye, and now, both my eyes are infected.

i'm SO mad!


::look!!! SO gross!!!::

| My Recipe for Love |

| Army |

i am seriously beginning to detest the army.
they're always taking my fiance away from me,
and even on weekends,
they dun give up!

*argh

service to the nation.
make a man outta him.
country before self.
for the greater good.

what about me?
his sweet fiance?

its an endless wait.

*pouts

oh and guess what?
it just occured to me:
next month marks eprincessdiary's first year of blogging!
and also a year since dear served the nation!

*pops balloons

| Quality Time |

i've been spending real quality time with my pup these days, and we've become alot closer too, a bit too close for comfort if i may add.

i helped bathe him last week. and any water activity being his most-hated activity, he naturally got agressive the whole time.


and i even got BITEN by him, and now my arm looks like this:



*pouts

| My First Times |

1. Spa @ Rustic Nirvana

my first time @ spa, and it was indeed an eye-opener.

maybe i'm a mountain tortoise or what, but i never knew you had to strip naked and it didn't occur to me to ask my mommy dearest. i was rather awkward when i was told to do so and especially since i was just given a disposal panty and shower cap to put on. seeing that the room was very dimly lighted, i thought "oh what the heck" and just stripped. there as i laid barenaked on the bed, the masseuse worked her hands through my body.
total relaxation i must say. she mentioned something of detoxification and weight loss through regular spa sessions. *hmmm

after close to 45 minutes of massage, she coated my body with this indonesian herbal thing called Jamu (i think) and wrapped me up in cellophane paper and brought me for sandstone therapy exclusive only to Rustic Nirvana and is a personal favourite of Zoe Tay. basically its a tub filled with treated sand mixed together with aromatherapy oils and i was required to lie in there while she covered the rest of my body with sand. i was literally buried in that tub of sand for 30 minutes. and during those 30 minutes, i felt my entire body burning because of the Jamu thing.

then finally, i was done.

and i had to bathe to get rid of the sandy stuff all over my body.

nice experience and i would definitely follow my mommy dearest for more spa sessions!

2. Clubbing @ Dbl O

also my first time @ dbl o though i've heard many comments about that place before.

my mood wasn't right, the people were off, i didn't feel like dancing and i thought it was a bad idea to club on saturday.

BUT it turned out otherwise, and i was pleasantly greeted by a nice mix of retro hits that my body found it hard not to sway with it. we danced a whole 3 and a half hours non-stop, where at the end of it, the crowd started dispersing, and i felt my legs were gonna break any minute, so we left the dance floor close to 3am.
thought supper would be a fine idea but dear's friends didn't seem to wanna go anywhere because all 5 guys were trying to hook up one miserable pathetic girl and i thought that was bad taste. well, whatever.

so dear and i left for home and cooked ourselves some nice maggi mee before we finally hit the sack at five in the morning. we only got up at one in the afternoon. haha but it was good fun.

and honestly, where were you thinking? am STILL holding the V-card up high and proud alright? *tsk

| 10 Things You Should Never Give Up Hope On |

1. Losing those 5 kilos
2. True Love
3. Owning your own home
4. Bagging that promotion
5. Resolving differences with your family
6. A job you love
7. Your dream to start your own business
8. Finding inner peace
9. Getting your Driver's License
10.Hope itself.

and if i may add one last thing:

11. Your dream vacation.

| Importance of Mobile |

as you can see, my title for today's post is on the importance of your mobile phone. even as the name suggests, it is a mobile phone, and you should and always carry it wherever you go. communication is the paramount reason of owning a mobile where contacting people has been made easy, anytime, anywhere.

YET there are just some people who simply fail to realise that and whom just makes my blood boil.

one very fine example is my dear fiance.

he has 2 mobile, one for army, and the other, for civilian life.
both mobile are Nokia phones.

1. instead of keeping his mobile by his side just in case his dear fiance may need him in the case of emergency, he keeps it in his bag.

his reason:

"i'm having table-bbq food with my friends, and my pants is too tight for my handphone to fit in. i'll check it at intervals."

BUT, what is the point of checking it at intervals in the event that (of course choy lah!) something does happen to me and that was my only chance of making my last phonecall to him?

2. he listens to his discman (with that stupid Gigi Leung's greatest hits in it) when he's on the go and therefore he cannot hear, and cannot feel the phone vibrate.

his argument:

"i'll check it at intervals (AGAIN!)."

BUT i made 7 calls and yet he only heard the last one when its the end of disc one where there was a momentary silence, if not, i can keep calling him until kingdom comes and he wouldn't have known until he reaches camp and gets settled down.

lesson to learn:
1. ALWAYS carry your mobile phone, wherever you go.
2. if you HAVE to listen to gigi leung's cd or you can't fall asleep, just make sure i dun get hold of it or i promise, i will break it into two.

my conclusion:

this guy oughta be SHOT even if he's my husband-to-be!

| Simple Junction Box |

one big announcement to make:

my dearest boy has finally set up his blog, and this time, it's gonna be his final resting place (or so he claims). so do take note under my links, my one and only L.T.Z. *hee


www.simplejunctionbox.blogspot.com

| Driving in the Rain |

i drove in the rain today, it was my first time.

its pure torture to the eyes 'cause it was pouring BIG time and puddles and puddles of water were EVERYWHERE on the roads.

anywayz, so i accidentally went over this huge puddle of water and it SPLASHED over this girl who happened to be walking along the cemented pathway. she was thoroughly WET! *wild laughter

its like those tv shows you'd watch and see a car just go over this puddle of water, wetting whoever's just stupidly strolling along the pathway. *laughz even louder

honestly, it wasn't exactly my fault. *heh

and i got honked at a couple of times.
like HULLO, i am just an L-plate trainee, and besides, didn't YOU learn in your HIGHWAY CODES (by the way, it just means the basic and advanced theories) that you have to "take extra care while on the roads on bad weather conditions" as your vision is blurred, and the roads are slippery and thus friction is lesser???

*major eyeroll

besides, i dun usually drive this slow and delibrately hog the traffic. it pays to be careful when its raining.

| LIFE is GOOD |

missed Bewitched on cable in the evening because i was out with my parents for dinner. *pouts

can't wait for my spa treatment @ rustic nirvana on friday. *hee

looking foward to my swim this saturday.

i desperately need a hair cut, its getting too long and getting on my nerves.

might wanna give the dentist a visit soon.

finally bought the Guess watch i've been eyeing on for the longest time.

at last, dear played in the rain with me last sunday. *hee

we went for dim sum buffet with dear's friends last week too. *yumz

i wanna do a nice pedicure soon too.

oh and we just had hot fudge sundae last night. *hmmm

i've been sleeping in and spending real quality time with my pup,

realised how much i've neglected him since i worked in that old company.

my appetite has been good, and my health has never been better.

whilst blogging, i'm actually waiting for Charmed to start.

ooo and i'm gonna have supper with parents again @ geylang later in the night. *lolx

ah, such is LIFE!

| People Flood |

i'm highly agitated right now.

i dunno where all these people come from.

i just wanna finish up my remaining lessons.

every slot is taken up,

i can't even be on the waiting list!

what is wrong with these people?!

*argh

| *nothing |

just for remembrance sake...



caught Bewitched over the weekends and well, wasn't quite what i expected. would have preferred the old version tv series one alot alot more.

| Higher Calling |

all these while, i had been waiting for an absolution, and quite honestly, i thought i had relinquished it all already, until today's worship spoke right into my heart.

maybe i had been too focused on material gains previously that i had failed to see the beauty of thriftiness and saving for rainy days. "from dust we come, from dust we return" (genesis 3:19); this verse says it all.

there is no higher calling,
no greater honour
than to bow and kneel before Your throne
i'm amazed by Your glory,
embraced by Your mercy
oh Lord,
i live to worship You.

i had been seeking refuge and solace in myself instead of my Papa, i had been blinded by self-centeredness that i did not realise the higher calling of these all: the heart of worship.

i'm coming back to the heart of worship,
and its all about You,
its all about You Jesus.
i'm sorrie Lord for the thing i made it,
when it all about You,
its all about You Jesus.

and lastly, one question:
what are you willing to give up when God reveals your destiny?

| From my Dear |

how sweet...*melts

| Strays |

just brought some food for the poor strays downstairs my house, its a pack of 4 dogs. i'm always terrified of big dogs, so dear had to be the one bringing it close to them. poor things, must be starving while the stupid dog i have upstairs is full of pride and of the best things in the world. some of the best things that my pup has that he doesn't even appreciate most of the time:

1. our unconditional love for him - he bites us when we try to give him a hug
2. best food - his dinner everynight is rice with chicken/fish/pork/egg and yet he still needs to be hand-fed. yes literally. we have to put it on our hands before he decides he's gonna eat them
3. his own bed/basket/spongebed - you name it, he has it. and even gets to choose who's room he wants to sleep in!
4. car rides - basically he goes crazy whenever we wanna bring him out, be it his daily walk or car rides. BUT he has to negotiate a whole 20 minutes before he decides to let his best friend, my dad, carry his royal butt to the car. yes, unbelievable.
5. clothes, mostly shirts - he has the prettiest shirts, but he hates wearing them. he bites the ends where he can reach and make indents outta it, the naughty lil bugger.
6. toys - countless of them and yet when he sees anything that is furry or looks like him, he just can't wait to get his lil paw on them and make it his new toy. man, ain't he satisfied with all the toys that he already has? my guess is no.

i know i've deviated once again, but tell me, is he just pampered or pampered? *shakes head in dismay


::my pampered lil pup::

| Vain Pots |

fine, so we admit, we're the world's vainest pots! *laughz

| Happy Birthday Russ |

my pup turned 4 last weekend, and he even had a lil cake tailored just for dogs! and just in case you're wondering, its human-safe too!
after gobbling down two slices of cake (its banana-flavoured by the way), he's been suffering from indigestion ever since. i guess that's why they say too much of something is bad, moderation is the key word. *hmmm*
oh and also,
Happy 40th Birthday Singapore!

| Wedding Crashers |

one word for this movie - hilarious! highly recommended.

| Paranoia |

you've changed,
from a boy to a man.
you've changed,
from giving me attention to becoming aloof.
you've changed,
from number one to number two.
you've changed,
and please don't deny it.

am i fortune's fool?
------------------------------
how can you say as such? how can you say that i'm giving you less attention? i'm telling you now that you are still my number one. and besides i don't play with numbers. i have nothing for me as number two.

army is something i did not volunteer for. it is against my will to forgo my two years here. so while i am here, i am trying to do some good and learn new things. i have my own responsibility now, people look up to me. my 'change' is probably due to the lesser time i can keep you company. but it does not mean that i've changed. so please understand.

you said the reason for your change was because of the wrong i did.
i know i hurt you,i know i disappointed you.
but i thought we agreed to put the past behind when you took me back.

guilt, i can never erase it if you don't let it go.
there's only so much i can do.
can you guarantee you won't bring it up again?
at least i can guarantee i won't let you down again.
just like before, maybe its time we re-evaluate this relationship
and see if you are able to live with my mistake in the future.
or else, its best we end it now.
----------------------------------------------------
i can guarantee i wont bring this up again. do you think i enjoy this? but can u also promise me that you'll understand that i have my own responsibility here in camp? i need time here to myself, to my friends and to my men. i wont talk about those stupid and hurting things you have done. so can we put it behind us? as i have said, i dont want to live with the past, i want to learn from it and move on. so can we not harp over this and move on? i guarantee i will try not to bring it up again.

whatever the case, i know you are hurt. but can i reassure you nothing really much have changed except that i probably need more time in camp. so dont go imagining things. dont let imaginery thoughts cloud your mind. dont let it forsake our relationship.

lastly i just want to say, i still love you.
i love you yesterday. today. and tomorrow. and the coming of time..

*princess melts*
fine, so i was being paranoid, but its nice once in a while to receive love declaration from the one you love. *laughz*

| Happiest Day in Aussie |

that day would have to be the happiest day while i was on holiday because for the very first time of my life, i carried a koala bear, and fed free-roaming kangaroos. it was SO fun because every one of those animals were SO adorable, and i meant every single one of them!


::consolidated the kangaroo pictures::

they had a show on how the dog would round the sheeps up at the shepherd's command. then one sheep, the leader we would think, actually had a confrontation with the dog which gave the poor doggie a lil scare. ha! animal instinct!


::the sheeps and the sheepdog::

my sis' and mine most precious picture with the koala bearbear which was so quiet and so tame!

::our most precious pictures::

towards the end of our holiday, we didn't quite take any pictures because we were all sad mom and i were gonna go home and dajie and kor still had another 4 more months before it would be their time on a home-bound plane.


::that's my big sis being a cry-baby::

hey and if you ever see this big sis, its just another 4 more months! be back on my birthday for me yah? and dun forget the scarf you promised. *hee*

i had a wonderful time while i was in australia. sure i missed home and missed my dear fiance especially, but i was really happy there. life there was carefree and relaxing. i suppose it was because i was on holiday, but definitely, i would like to study there one day, and perhaps even move there for good? we'll see.

| Question |

Issit gonna be Happily Ever After for me, or just a Happy Ending?

| Day Three & Four in Aussie |

the third day while we were in australia was my kor's convocation. he was graduating with a Masters in Education and we were all proud of him when he wore the square hat for the second time.
i fell sick on that day, and if you'd noticed, i looked ghastly in the pictures. despite that, we had fish and chips at this place called A Salt and Battery, innovative name i must say. and for dinner, we went to Chinatown, Fortitude Valley for some chinese food, and it was suspiciously good. ha!




we didn't really do much on the fourth day, just that i remembered a very long drive down to Sunshine Coast or aka Noosa Heads. its something like Gold Coast, but with coarser sand.
in this collage were mostly pics i had taken in the place where we stayed at called City Backpackers. it was alright, with a huge kitchen for backpackers like us to cook some of our native food.
dinner on the fourth night was steamboat at my sis' house, since in chinese culture, steamboat always meant a reunion of sort. we were at the supermarket earlier on to buy groceries, and can you imagine having steamboat on a cold winter night? its heaven! *yumz*

| The Reason |

you said the reason for your change was because of the wrong i did.
i know i hurt you,
i know i disappointed you.
but i thought we agreed to put the past behind when you took me back.

guilt, i can never erase it if you don't let it go.
there's only so much i can do.
can you guarantee you won't bring it up again?
at least i can guarantee i won't let you down again.

just like before,
maybe its time we re-evaluate this relationship
and see if you are able to live with my mistake in the future.
or else, its best we end it now.

| Changed |

you've changed,
from a boy to a man.
you've changed,
from giving me attention to becoming aloof.
you've changed,
from number one to number two.
you've changed,
and please don't deny it.

am i fortune's fool?

| Day Two in Australia |

::the sight was breath-taking, the place was exhilarating, and the winds before the sun rose, was freezing!::

on the second day we were in gold coast, we woke up at 3am in the morning and got ready for slightly more than an hour's drive down to Byron Bay to catch the breath-taking view and scenery at sunrise. it was still dark when we got there at 5am and the winds were so cold so cold! fortunately, i bought a beanie the night before and it helped keep my ears and heads warm, well, at least it kept the winds from piercing into my head and eyes.

while trying to stay warm and wait for the sun to rise, the night sky was filled with pretty pretty lil twinkling stars. and in that sky was this one particular star that was moving. dunno if it was a shooting star or a meteor, but that one star was moving on its own and we all watched it make its way into nothingness and made a silent wish in our hearts.

*i wished for happiness, and i wished to always be with [you], because only [you] can give me the happiness i'd always wanted.

then slowly, the first ray of light in the sky. beautiful.

when the sun rose, it became warmer and as we left our hibernating areas and headed for the beach and the Most Easterly Point in Australia, we saw schools of dolphins riding with the waves. what freedom they must enjoy, oh how i envy them!
our mothers couldn't take anymore of the cold, and while kor walked them back to the car, dajie and i left for the nature trail, just us, and nobody else. it was pretty and cool, lovely.


::domino's pizza was for lunch and by the beach, it was more like picnic if you ask me *hee*::

i wanna be as carefree as the dolphins were
i wanna be that lil gal i was again
i wanna breathe the fresh cold winter air
i wanna laugh out loud and be hApPy!!!

| Day One in Australia |

:: first day in aussie, enroute to Gold Coast, Surfer's Paradise::

the beautiful golden beaches in winter just makes you fall in love with australia, and just makes you want to stay there for good and never come back. ha! at least that what i felt, and now reminiscing makes me miss australia SO SO much!!!

finally, my pictures are up, or are gonna be up soon! *hee* and just FYI, you may click on the pictures for a larger view yah? this applies for the rest of the pictures that will be up real soon.

| Re-evaluation |

perhaps its that time of the month again which is giving me depression right now, but i'd really like to pause for a moment and re-evaluate what i'd really want outta my life.

since i returned from brisbane till now, i'd been on the look-out for jobs, temps or perms. offers had been knocking on my door but there was none for me to even consider simply because they weren't my cup of tea. i'd given up jobs which were of interest to me before but aren't appealing anymore. there were those read-between-the-fine-lines details that i'd failed to see which gave me a horrible fright, and i'd vow never to consider those professions again.

i'm aware that i can truly take my time in searching for that one ideal purpose that we were all individually called to do, but sometimes its just the pressures of other contributing factors that hurries and frightens me. it isn't my loving fiance or my loving family, they have always been the most supportive people in my life. i suppose its myself giving myself pressure.

give myself a break gal, i'll be fine. =)

| Wild Wild Wet Tomorrow!!! |

ha! guess what? my deardear is gonna bring me to Wild Wild Wet tomorrow!!! *yay* i'm SO happie!

and yah, i know i haven't uploaded all my pictures in aussie, but i will soon. i'm waiting for my kor to upload it you see. *smilez*

*cheers* i'm gonna wild wild wet!!!

| A Prayer |

Hello God, I called tonight to talk a little while
I need a friend who'll listen to my anxiety and trial.
You see, I can't quite make it through a day just on my own...
I need your love to guide me, so I'll never feel alone.
I want to ask you please to keep my family safe and sound.
Come and fill their lives with confidence for whatever fate they're bound.
Give me faith, dear God, to face each hour throughout the day,
And not to worry over things I can't change in any way.
I thank you God for being home and listening to my call,
For giving me such good advice when I stumble and fall.
Your number, God, is the only one that answers every time.
I never get a busy signal, never had to pay a dime!
So thank you God, for listening to my troubles and my sorrow.
Good night God, I love You too, and I'll call again tomorrow!

| i'm home *groans* |

hi all, i'm home. i'm not exactly delirious that i'm back, which is why i'm only blogging today even though i touched down on late sunday night. i could feel the physical drain and i slept throughout monday and almost tuesday. ha! and my sweet present from my dear boy:



that's all for now. will blog later, when i have the mood. *shrugz*

| Kangaroos & Koala Bears |

for the record, i fed kangaroos today and carried a koala bear - a REAL koala bear. haha! so adorable! will upload all the pics when i get back to singapore. *groans*

aussie time: 21:24

| I'm Here! |

hey peeps, i'm here in aussie typing this entry, so its gonna be a real short one.

i'm in my sis' house now, using her laptop with a nice warm heater just by my side. i'm dying out in the winter here, and whenever possible, i try to hibernate. ha! i hate the cold, i can't take the cold, let alone winter, argh!!!
okok, i'm deviating again, as usual. *lolx*

just that i'm real happy here, and somehow, i dun wanna go back, i wanna stay here in aussie for good! alright dearie? hee :P

aussie time: 23:32

| i just wanna rant! |

i'm depressed. driving didn't go well today, forgot to mention just now, got screamed at a couple of times. i know it was partly my fault for stoning, but he didn't have to get so pissed at me. *argh*

and look at the time, i'm blogging AGAIn for the umpteenth time! get a grip girl! there's something wrong with me, definitely something wrong with me. my mood swings are way too much for me to handle, and my hormones are supposed to be stabilised? i'm going to aussie in a couple more days time but i'm not exactly delirious. well i was, but i dunno why i'm not anymore. oh just let me rant. that's what this blog is for, for me to rant, rant, rant!

reality is cruel.
life is unfair.
what else?

"you're as good as your last bet"

| Not Good |

today is thursday. was trying to start packing my luggage, but i caught sight of the little dress i'd bought for the dinner and dance, supposedly for this saturday. it looked so cute, i couldn't resist, so i tried it on. i guess i wouldn't get a chance to wear it there even though it was bought specially for that event.

regrets? yah a few. though i was happy to get outta there, i had some regrets too. like the love and doting i'd received, and whenever i made a mistake, they'd look at me with loving eyes telling me "its ok, don't do it again". oh how i miss them! why didn't i stay on to fight? i didn't because it wasn't in my nature. i didn't because my threshold level for that particular someone had reached maximum. i just couldn't stay on anymore. how can it be that i'm totally heartless? how can it be that i totally have no more feelings for that place and for most of the people there? impossible.

and turns out that i might not be able to go clubbing tomorrow because i'll be the "only girl" there with a bunch of guys?! that's what my dear said. i'm not exactly thrilled about it, but i guess if he won't let me, i can't go. *shrugz*

things don't seem to be going well. i'm getting all upset and teary and i dunno why. sometimes i just wanna run far far away from this place and never come back. can i?

| Holiday |

1. my parents are driving into johor later just to have dinner with yours truly.
2. tomorrow i'll be lunching with this lady i'd worked with before (she's buying me lunch! *hee*)
3. and on friday, we're going clubbing at club momo, haha! its gonna be my first time there, i wonder if the place is good? oh heck it, whatever the case is, its gonna be fun!
4. oh and saturday is still pending.
5. and on sunday, its church in the morning, and my flight in the night.

wahahahaha i'm so happy happy happy cos its gonna be so fun fun fun!!! *bleahz*

| To Pat |

its been a pretty long time since i really blogged about anything, and this post is actually for pat girlie, who had some questions with regards to religion, or rather, Christianity. i figured if i had to tag all these down, it would take forever, so i thought i'd just do a post.
i may be in no position to preach or even to teach, but i'll just be sharing with you what i know.

if i remembered correctly, the question or comment was something like an earthly priest sharing one of his church member's sins to the congregation, and somehow, it just didn't seem right. yah i guess, no matter what, that was unethical.

i guess alot of people would have already known what some of the differences between roman catholics and protestant christians are. one of which is that the former believes Mother Mary, somehow managed to attain immortality after Jesus was reunited with the Father in heaven; whereas protestant christians, believe that, no, Mother Mary is only human, she was Mother of God, but there's no where in the Bible that says she's Jesus' equivalent. coming to the Bible, of course, there are only 66 books in the Bible, and all of God's word is "God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness" (2 Timothy 3:16; 2 Peter 1:21). the catholic bible has more than that, probably another 4-5 more books.

that aside, catholics also practice confessing their sins to an earthly priest in that wooden box thingy where they are seperated by a partition thingy and some curtains. i dunno if catholics know that or not but there is only One High Priest, only One Mediator who will intercede for them on Judgement day, and that High Priest is Jesus Himself, not some human priests. (1 Timothy 2:5-6) God never said to confess our sins to men, God said to confess our sins to Him alone, because only He has the power to forgive our sins, no matter what they may be. (Psalms 32:5; Isaiah 55:7). and i'd like to add that, after we confess our sins, "He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9), which means to say, God will no longer judge us. and if God doesn't judge us, i dun see why earthly priests should.

so there you have it. hope this helped clear some of your doubts. =)

| Thank You |

| intended |

i was going to blog.......BUT my dear's outta the shower, so i gotta fly! ciao!

| Sentosa |

the sun, the sand, and the sea. that's where i was yesterday! an afternoon of sun-basking, gossipping, sleeping, water therapy, aahhhh total relaxation for the mind, body and soul!
hey dearie, when's your turn to take your baby there huh?? i wanna go sentosa AGAIN, quick quick take me there soon!!! *laughz*


::haha bikini babes!!!::


::i kinda like this collage, hee::


::ok, i think i've got a round face, *lolx*::

i came home yesterday, and after awhile, my head was spinning, my nose was running, and my forehead was burning. i fell sick again! *pouts*

| Goodbye |

effectively, yesterday was my last day at work. many people whom know me personally would actually support my decision and cheer me on. to these people, my deepest thanks.

it was abrupt, but i guess i saw it coming. if she had been able to just shut her mouth and not talk so much, everything would have been fine and i would probably be able to work on perhaps till next year. but that was not to be.

open confrontation was what happened.
she initiated it.

maybe you thought it was cool, but let me tell you, it was immature and childish. you are too young to handle anything, you CANNOT handle things. you made things so ugly, and conveniently gave me a chance to leave, so i took it. why not? i got nothing to lose. except that all the shit will be on you i guess.
and isn't the whole idea of your confrontation for me to leave?
or did you stupidly think it would clear things up?
if you really thought was the latter,
then you're really dumb.
i know you'll be reading this,
my whole office will probably be reading this,
but heck it, i dun give a damn anymore.
i'm outta that place,
i dun have to give you face.

you were never my friend,
you never gave me a reason to trust you.
from the way i saw it,
you were trying too hard to sow discord.
doesn't matter how hard you try to defend yourself,
i am entitled to my thoughts, my views, my perception.
you do not have a say in whatever i think about you,
got it?

the vibes i had about you right from the start was undeniably much.
i never understood what 'body chemistry' meant,
but now i do.

like i said,
i hope you're happy.
cos i am.
i've never been happier leaving that place.
not that the place is bad,
but because you were there, you made it suck.

do yourself a favor,
after this post,
do not ever come to my blog again.
you're NOT welcome here.
i dun want you to know anything about my life,
cos you're not part of it.
one thing i'll assure you,
i'll be alot better off than you like how i've always been, and also in the future.
and i want you to know,
after this post, i will forget you and how you look like,
and never think of you again.
it'll be as though you never came into my life.

to [insert name]:
you've been a great friend, really.
i'm very thankful to have you right from the start, along the way, and even to the end.
you've been a great help to me too,
and i appreciate your every gesture.
remember how i told you i would get over you?
i finally did it. and i had wanted to tell you the good news, but never had the chance.
you said if i ever did it, you'd want to know how.
its very easy, it was just a matter of making up your mind. like i made my decision, and i've never been happier. you always wished me happiness, and said to be happy no matter what i did. you made me realise that my happiness is being with daniel, not you. thank you for showing me that. to me, you'll always be that angel guarding me. thank you. i found my true happiness. i hope you'll find yours too. i'll just miss those car rides home, haha!

to bosses:
you guys have been great. working with you guys for the past one year was good, really good, until nicole left, and she came along. i guess the turning point was when the one interviewee i detested big time was your best choice. i tried my best to accomodate, i tried to teach her everything her mind could possibly absorb. but she wasn't such a fantastic student, in addition, her dishonesty made her credibility highly questionable. with regards to her, i have nothing else to say.
just that i'm sorrie i couldn't carry on helping you guys out. i would have carried on if she hadn't created such a scene yesterday. i reckon my departure would give everybody less tension, and perhaps a more peaceful working environment.
i want you guys to know that, i've given you my best in that one year. i hope that was enough. i wish you guys well, and i wish you guys success in your future endeavours. :)

and so, this ends another chapter of my life.

after getting off these off my chest, i can finally sleep. *yawnz*

| Freedom of Speech |

where is freedom of speech? there's no liberty anymore, there's no discretion anymore. everything seems to be controlled, everything seems to be watched.

[insert name] mentioned that the purpose of a blog means everyone has a right to read what i pen, and to search the web for that matter. i agree. but what if i dun welcome certain people? or should i say, if people would be offended after reading, then what's the point of bookmarking my blog? another way of putting it would be, blogging entitles people to judge me. being the ever sinful-natured humans are, whatever i write, my feelings, emotions etc would be judged and used against me assuming i get myself into a very precarious and delicate situation. wouldn't be very fair to me isn't it?

therefore i've concluded. if people are gonna take my honesty and turn it against as my weakness, so be it. ethically it'll be wrong. but if that's what it takes for you to get rid of me and/or perhaps put me down, you are so wrong. i'm telling you now, that will never happen. i'll make sure it doesn't happen, i'm alot stronger than you think. you'll be surprised.

in short, blogging on this web space of mine is my prerogative! period.