| KL trip |

ok the post that is long awaited. ahaha! 2 months overdue, but hey, better late than never!

so on april 22 we left on a morning coach via the second link into malaysia. first trip without my parents, first independent trip.


::all smiles in the coach::


::our home for the next 2 nights, but dun be fooled by its appearance, its really not that fantastic::


::headed straight for this on the first night - my favoruite portugese grill, oh its amazing!::

we also went for the frog porridge the same night which was equally good, but difficult to eat. i can't seem to find the picture anywhere though. oh well, never mind.


::day 2 - rise and shine! our couple wear for the trp ahaha::


::headed for KL's chinatown early in the morning to find that they only open at 11am, BUT i managed to get a slipper @ RM8 and 3 pairs of earrings @ RM5. its a steal i tell you!::


::then on our way to the train station where it'd take us to KLCC, we passed by a pet shop and i just got magically attracted into it, the pups were so adorable, they made me miss my pup so much!::


::see?::


::in the train station::

before i go on, i just have to pause and tell you what happened at the train station.

so it was our first time there in malaysia's train station, but it was very much like our local train stations before the ez-link card came along where we had to put the flimsy card into the machine and then it'd pop right back up.

BUT the boyfriend was so innocently silly, he saw the words on the machine saying "Tap and Go", and he did exactly that, thinking its like our ez-link card system here. coincidentally, the machine's door he "Tapped and Went" was open because it was spoilt or something and he happily went through thinking what he did was correct.

when it came to my turn, i was on another machine, and i followed what the boyfriend did. but my machine, which was working fine, refused to barge. we created quite a commotion until one of the officer saw and shooed the boyfriend back into the gantry and showed us that the card must go into the machine, then the door will open, then we'll take the card back.

*rofl

i couldn't stop laughing after that because the boyfriend was really so "clever"!! ahahahahahaha


::the boyfriend in the train smiling so happily after his blunder::


::then it was finally KLCC::


::my super-duper lok-kok dressing. according to my parents, i had to dress as down as possible so that i wouldn't attract any unneccessary attention::


::the boyfriend acting silly and spas again::


::all the way from singapore, we just had to take the twin tower::


::one normal shot of the boyfriend::


::another spastic shot of the boyfriend - but this i have to say, is pretty creative::


::myself outside the KLCC::


::and this was what we had for lunch - Fish in Manhattan::


::my prawns on fire =p::

at KLCC, i bought 2 pairs of heels, 1 mambo top and pouch, and ate alot alot. hee =p

then the 3rd and final morning before we headed back home with our afternoon coach, we had breakfast at 3 different places. first was at our own hotel.


::this was the second place::


::and finally, this was the 3rd and best place for breakfast::

and with that, it ended our 3 day adventure. we got home safe and sound in one piece thank you very much, but i fell sick the day after i got home and was on mc for 2 days. like how i am on mc again.

*sniff

| Done |

and i'm done with the DVC book!!! it was last night though.

i was and still am on medication, thus wasn't well enough to blog.

*sniff

| DVC - Book |

currently at chapter 45 of the DaVinci Code, i still have 60 chapters more and an epilogue before i finish the 592 593 pages thick book.

i haven't had the time like i had for Memoirs of a Geisha, (i finished that in 5 days whilst working), except for today - my boss is on MC. just 2 days ago, i was on MC, and now its his turn. i feel bad. could it be my virus? because technically, i'm still recuperating and virus then are the most active.

that aside.

had borrowed the DVC from a friend who has a wide collection of books. its been in my possession for close to 2 weeks and i'm nowhere near half. what a shame. and now this friend has left for nepal for some mission work, i'm gonna force myself to finish this book within the 10 days that he'll be away, and return it when he comes back.

in this way, it will not look bad on me.

so slow.

| Can you Spot the Difference? |

hahahahahaha! can you guys tell? come on, its SO obvious! =p

the boyfriend is looking at neither of the two cameras!!!

*rofl

| Sorrie |

a whiff of the salty sea air in the night...

i'm sorrie.

let's not quarrel again?

i get scared sometimes, i just want assurance. dun wanna waste time anymore, dun wanna waste anymore of my life.

| Life Goes On... |

if you'd just admit it, this would not have happened.

i wasted 5 years.

i will be so strong, you wouldn't even recognise me. my life will go on without you.

| Go There With You |

my favourite song, the ultimate love song.

Go There With You
by Steven Curtis Chapman

I know you've heard me say these words before
But every time I say "I love you"
The words mean something more
I spoke them as a promise
Right from the start
I said death would be the only thing that could tear us apart
And now that you are standing on the edge of the unknown
"I Love you" means I抣l be with you
Wherever you must go

CHORUS
And I will take a heart who's nature
Is to beat for me alone
And fill it up with you, make all your joy and pain my own
No matter how deep a valley you go through
I will Go there with you
And I will give myself to love the way Love gave itself for me
And climb with you to mountian tops
Or swim a raging sea
To the place where one heart is made of two
I will go there with you

I see it in your tears, you wonder where you are
The wind is growing colder and the sky is growing dark
Though it's something neither of us understands
We can walk through this together if we hold each other's hand
I said for better of for worse I'd be with you
So no matter where you're going
I will go there too...

CHORUS

I know sometimes I let you down
But I won't let you go
We'll always be together

| My Journey |

3 nights ago, a friend sent me a testimony of how he got to know Christ. it talked about the 10 years journey it took him to finally find God. it was most touching, and indeed, i teared after reading it.

we're actually quite similar, the friend and me. and immediately i felt a connection.

i guess in all my 489 posts in this blog, i'd never once written about my early years as a christian in depth. well perhaps its time i start penning it down.

i realised the existence of Jesus when i was as lil as 6. despite my parents being both buddhists, they sent the 3 of us to a catholic school. all 3 of us did our primary and secondary education in the same school, and that was when it all started.

in school, they had regular masses, and we always said grace before and after meals. there were also weekly catechism classes for catholics and for those who were interested in knowing more about God. all those had shaped my thoughts and beliefs and slowly, i found myself distancing from buddhism.
whenever i asked my parents about how buddhism came about, they weren't able to explain their faith to me, couldn't tell me the origin and how their god and worship came about. i thought it strange, but never questioned more than i was already told.
as the years went by, i'd learnt more and more about God and Jesus, and even Mother Mary. i was even more determined to know more about Them. i stopped going to the temples with my mother, and started going to church, occasionally with my grandmother, who was a devout Catholic, and most of the time with my big sister, whom was more into the Christian faith, and whom i also became very much like.

we started with Faith Community Baptist Church (FCBC). i was 12, and it was after my PSLE. it was a very charasmatic church and i felt uncomfortable with all of them jumping to the music in worship to the Lord. and worse of all, i couldn't understand how Christians actually do not pray to the Virgin Mary! in all my 12 years then, all i remember ever being taught was that Mother Mary would intercede to God and Jesus for us whenever we prayed, for she was after all, Jesus' mother. furthermore, i also thought after Jesus was raised, Mother Mary followed suit. but when my sister told me to check against the Bible, i couldn't find any record and i knew then, that all i had ever been taught in primary school weren't the whole truth. i struggled with this fact for a long long time, i finally decided to join my sister in bible study lessons because i wanted to know more about God, Jesus and if possible, Mother Mary.

we attended FCBC for awhile, until one day, my sister said there was a prophet who was coming to town and invited my entire family there. is prophet the right term? he did, after all, lay hands on me and prophesized about how i would be, if i had been a faithful disciple of Christ.
i've been searching for that tape that recorded down his exact words, and my sister even wrote it out for me. i haven't been successful though.
amidst the words i could vaguely remember, "Thank you Lord, that her studies are well, that she will do her parents proud. things that her mother never thought she'd be capable of. thank you Lord that she will soar on eagles' wings, she's gonna do great things."

and i thought i would really do great things. i guess that was not to be. not now at least.

after FCBC, my sister decided she wanted to change churches, being young and ignorant, i tagged along. her piano teacher was an Adventist, and she was the one who brought my sister to the Seventh-Day Adventist (SDA) Church everyone claimed was a cult.
things weren't so bad when we got there, in fact, things were even better and i enjoyed the quiet service they had, which was very much like the average Catholic Church. that was where my Bible knowledge grew, and that was also where i'd learnt the most. i was 13 going on 14, a blooming teenage girl where crushes and infatuation were the norm.

somewhere in the midst when i was 15, i decided it was time to get baptised. my parents didn't agree of course, because although they gave us the freedom to choose whatever religion we might like, they weren't ready for their baby girl to get baptised. i pleaded and i begged, and finally my dad gave me the green light, i was delighted! but my focus on the Lord would sadly be short-lived.

a filipino guy, whose name i won't mention, was my crush. he was 22 when i was 15. that was a good whole 7 years of difference in age and race, but crushes and infatuations knew no boundaries. he drew me further away from God, i became distracted. slowly, my attendance for any events were whether he was there or not, rather than for God. it was bad, but the feelings during pyberty were strong, it consumed the rational side of me. not long after, he and his family had to leave for the States. they were missionaries, and hadn't a stable home. their 3 years stay in singapore was up and had to move to another place where they were needed more. i was so upset when he left, and so upset i would never see him again. but it was good in a way, i
could now go back to being the christian i had always wanted to be.
at that time, my sister left yet again, to my present church, an Anglican church. but i stayed on for another year or so. only when i felt my growth in the Lord had turned stagnant, i left too. i didn't stay on because i wanted to wait for that guy, i knew it was impossible even if he came back. and i thank God we haven't crossed paths after so many years. his deep blue eyes were the loveliest i had ever seen, and i'm sure if i saw those eyes again, i might just be swept off my feet.

*lolx i'm just kidding. i'm sure he's old and happily married with a child or so now.

eventually, i left the SDA community with a heavy heart, and i decided henceforth, that i would take a break from going to church, until i was ready. i was 16 then.

after a few months, i joined my sister in my present Anglican church now and stayed on ever since, though she now attends another anglican church with her husband-to-be.

i joined the youth and became very active in many areas. camp, retreats, street evangelism, outings, crusade etc. met yet another bunch of guys whom i became pretty close with, but like i mentioned before, not intimate enough to become an item. the youth pastor didn't quite like the fact i was always the centre of attraction and tried to 'banish' my friendship with many of them. they picked on the silliest things like my dressing. naturally i became angry and decided to drop it off once and for all. i went back to the main adult service.

in the end, the Reverend at that time thought the youth was growing in a wrong way, they looked up to their youth pastor more than they would to Jesus and decided unanimously to break up the youth community. they objected and left to set up their own church. their charasmatic worship and manner also found it hard for the church elders to accept.

things became peaceful once again, until after my 'o' levels, where i had to find a temp job to fill my time. that was when i met my fiance. i was 18.

he was the reason why i distanced away from God too. and to be completely honest, he's still one of the many reasons why i haven't been able to get my relationship with the Lord back on track. my disappointment in people through out those early years of my young faith also left a scar, i'd been afraid to go back.

so now, 5 years later, i'm still with him. he's now attending church with me, but we haven't found a cell yet. when we do, will i be able to burn for the Lord once again, just like old times?

| Fathom |

its hard to fathom one's heart. even i dunno what goes through my head anymore.

further studies. overseas or local?

i've always wanted to go aussie for my degree, but i guess being in the country that we are in, unless our family has loads of spare cash, that idea simply wouldn't work out.

but money isn't the issue here.

we've talked about it. i guess i could, but i often ask myself if i'd be strong enough to do so. leaving my family, my pup, and even the boyfriend behind. and if i had a nice bunch of friends, would i be able to leave them all behind?

i can't.

i mean, how many are willing to step outta their comfort zone, to experience something totally alien?

which is why i still chose to do my studies here eventually.

received my offer letter today, 5 exemptions. double major. mid-july.

i'm finally gonna be a student again after close to 2 years.

thank you. =)

| My Space |

there was a fight. i raised my voice.

because of your f**ked up friends, i have give up my date with my friends?!

you can't keep doing this to me.

you need to give me a life and my own space.

forgot how bad things turned 2 weeks back?
their idea of a midnight movie and supper @ geylang?

.CMI.

| ORD Lo |

i guess it must be the happiest day of their lives when the PINK IC is returned to them. Welcome Back to Civilian Life!


::the whole bunch of 'em::


::can you see what the ORD boy is holding in his hands? 11B & Pink IC?!::


::the happiest of 'em all::



::the stupid russian hat which captivated all::


::lastly the couples::

| Island Life |

i know this pic is bursting outta my blogskin, but i'll be changing to a new skin tomorrow, so just bear with it ok? nitez everyone! *yawnz

| The Terror |

the terror is here again.

the boyfriend says i'm not myself.

but why should i be when they always do the behnd-closed-doors act?

*pui

gotta go, i'm rushing for some ORD celebration. *lolx

| Da Vinci Code |

am finally able to blog on my new lappie.

anyway about the movie on tuesday night. it was after a long wait and massive negotiations with the boyfriend's army-mates on the day and time.

*sigh

boys.

so prior to watching the movie, i've heard what the story was all about and that many Christians' faith around the world have been so shaken that many religious groups in the world, including singapore, tried dissuading the authorities to ban this movie from screening here.

that aside.

in all honesty, my goose bumps kept rising, and my hair standing in most parts of the movie.

the author tried to used actual events and characters in history, to support his claims and absurd imagination. it was brillant of him in this aspect, but he certainly not have enough facts to pull off this stunt.

they talked about some power that will only be released when a man and woman unite (e.g. sex), with the whole
congregation watching. that's orgy as far as i'm concerned, and obviously associated with the occult, satanism and the Devil worship.
so then tell me, how righteous is this group of people indulging in some secret sexual rituals as such?!

blasphemy. indeed.

and fyi, there is no gospel of Philip. there is also no gospel of Mary Magdelene, or Thomas, or Mary for that matter. there is also no Holy Grail and no "royal bloodline". and even if there were, there must be a reason why at the final compilation of the different books, the Bible only has 66 books, not more, not less. remember, in all that we were taught, everything happens for a reason. and you would think God had no involvement in this matter?

NO.

there is only one God the Father, together with God the Son and God the Holy Spirit in the Holy Trinity. when God the Son was on earth as a mortal man just like every one else, He had God the Father's divinity in Him which was why He was able to perform so many miracles. He was not a mere man. He was God.

i've read about Gnosticism, about the Knights' Templers, Priory of Sion and even the Essene Scrolls and each of what i've read have their own versions of "truth".

i admit whilst reading those, i've been rather disillusioned. but the more i read, the more i knew if those were the "facts" they claimed were true, then where is the consistency???

one book says Jesus and Mary had a daughter, the other book claimed they bore a son. worst still, there were some who claimed they had 3 children in fact and that Jesus did not die physically when crucified, but only a 'spiritual death'?!

these pple completely have no idea what they're talking about.

utter rubbish.

there can be a million and one claims and none of us will ever know if its true or not, unless we ourselves believe in that truth.

so i guess this is where romans 10:17 comes in.

"so then, faith comes by hearing, and hearing from the word of God"

| Memoirs |

i wanna get a nice beach mat, soon.

and i also wanna change my blogskin. maybe do a skin on my own. nah, dun have the time.

i've been late for work consecutively since last wednesday. i am the most screwed up staff ever.

work aside.

i've finished the oh-so-precious-and-expensive book that the boyfriend's friend had lent to me him. before i go on about how i feel about the story after having watched the movie and read the book, i must say how hard i've tried to keep the book as clean and as new as i possibly could. i tried not to hurt the poor pages by giving any dog-ears. and when i was told i mustn't stretch the book too wide, i knew somehow, the book must have a life on its own, for if i had done so, the book would scream in pain and scared the daylights outta me. i tried, i really did. please believe that i've tried so hard i almost burst into tears when i found the back cover and a few pages before the back cover with a couple of dog-ear marks.

i'm terrible sorrie!!!

its a good book, though i found it hard to believe the characters and story were entirely invented. how can it not be true? nevertheless, geisha's aren't that glamourous ever all huh? they undergo training practically all their lives just to end up with their virginity up for bidding. so sad lor.

alright, enough of being sappy. i'm tired and i wanna go home NOW!!!

| Pairs |

i still owe a post on my KL trip.

but i need to say something.

isn't it amazing when things come in pairs? it just dawned upon me that God is so clever, creating us, wherever necessary, in pairs.

let me illustrate my point:

weak left + healthy right eye = me

see? pairs complement one another. just like i'm a right-hander, so my left hand is more retarded in one sense or another. but together, it makes a good pair.

God is good, He's so clever, i guess that's why He's God and not us.

| Latest |

i've finally decided i'll blog today since my boss is on leave the entire week. have also realised how much i had missed out on writing e.g. Mother's Day, my new glasses, swimming, youth service @ church, dinner for dear's family, fixing the com etc. and i figured, if i still don't make an effort to write about it, i may as well forget it forever! so here i am.

1) My Boss in on a week and a half's leave starting from last tuesday. and he hadn't left me any work to do despite my countless hints on how bored i'd be. so i managed to find something to occupy myself - i've been helping my colleague bind books. hey that's an easy job, and who's to say that isn't tedious and time-consuming?
and in addition to that, i've also brought a book to entertain myself - Memoirs of a Geisha. i finally managed to get the book, the boyfriend borrowed it from one of his army friends. only constrain about this book lender is that i mustn't open the book too wide for fear of stretching and spoiling the oh-so-precious-and-expensive book. *sigh
of course i'm not allowed to be openly reading whilst at work, so i've been craning my poor neck like a primary school girl trying to finish her favourite story book as soon as she cans during the boring lessons in class.

number of days boss on leave: 7
any forms of entertainment: Memoirs of a Geisha
any "actual" work: book-binding

2) Vesak Day and Mother's Day on 12th and 14th May respectively, i had
followed my family to the temple for vegetarian food in the morning before i went off on my own to scout for a decent prezzie for the boyfriend. fortunately on the public holiday itself, he had duty and thus had to stay behind to serve the nation.
i've always liked vegetarian food, so whenever the opportunity arises, i will follow them to the temple to feast on it. but this year, it was a lil disappointing. there was no soup, which happens to be my favourite. nevertheless, the wide spread was good enough, really.

yes, and all the question marks must be forming in the heads. why would a Christian girl go to the temple for vegetarian food? issit allowed??? well, perhaps it ain't a question of whether it was allowed to or not, but rather, what we believe in our hearts. you see, faith is trusting something you do not see (romans 10:17) and yet still believing in it.
i honestly do not know what are the buddhists' belief in taking vegetarian food on vesak day, but i do know that vegetarian had been God's original, intended diet for us humans until adam and eve screwed up and sinned against God. that aside, though those food may have been prayed over before serving to the table, if i only have my own God and Saviour in my heart and nothing of the idols, then i am free from all those prayers prior to the serving. which means, its still food, served just like anywhere else. and that temple which we had gone to, they serve the food outside, away from the main hall where devout buddhists offer incense and chants, so as far as i was concerned, it was safe for me.
so i left and gone to town to look for the prezzie which took me almost all day before i finally found it on my way home. and afterward, my sister and i decided to treat my mom to dinner @ Soup Restaurant. none of the guys were there, not even dad. so it was like our lil own all-girls' nite out! hee=p
it was just a simple dinner because unlike other families, my family always ate together, so to us, everyday is Mother and Father's Day.

number of feasts that day: 2

3) following that, somewhere in mid-week, i had taken half day leave to drive into Johor with my parents as you would have read earlier on. well but that aside, i really miss the times we would all just drive in one lazy afternoon and spend the day just eating and eating there. =)

agenda in Johor: EAT!

4) swimming. suddenly conscious of a lil bulge, i became extremely athletic and decided i had to do something about it. and my favourite exercise: swimming. so i dragged the boyfriend during his nights' out and got him to swim with me in the night. it was so cold, but because i was so determined, i had to carry on. and so we did, first night was 10 laps. and the second was 14. big jump, but we'd slowly work our way until we reach 20-25 laps.

no. of laps so far: 14
no. of laps to be achieved: 20-25

5) Youth Service @ church last saturday, there was a warm feeling going back there though all the people are now different. but there was no doubt we felt strange. to begin with, we were like the oldest people around and it didn't feel like main service. maybe when people grow and mature, they gradually become suitable for certain things more than others, and i guess that was how it went. well but, we'll see.

6) straight after the service we got back home to prepare dinner. i had earlier told the boyfriend's mom i felt like making dinner and asked her in the cutest most manja tone if i was allowed to do so and she returned my sweet smile by saying yes. we stopped by for grocery shopping before heading back. my dear was a great kitchen assistant, like how all the palace maids were on Da Chang Jin. *lolx
so with his help, i made Sesame Chicken (and added the tonic wine, DOM to it), Silver Coin Toufu and fried the leftover prawns and minced meat together with the xiao bai cai and my favourite golden mushrooms. aunty was so kind and kept asking how i made those. because while i was done with dinner, i was still busy preparing a lil snack for supper - Fishcake or Fish Patty, however you like to call it. i had a sudden urge for it so i decided i was going to make it for all of them to eat. it was no easy job though, mincing the fish meat and mashing the
potatoes. but when you eat it, hmmmmm the orgasmic feel, aaahhhhh undescribable. its a personal favourite you see. hee =p

7) and lastly, i just fixed the new com last night. well, what can i say? i wanna wash my hands off totally when i sell the old one and get myself a lappie.

and guess what? finally my new glasses are done and i'm waiting to go collect them this weekend! decided to go for a change since my current one is plastic. this new one is metal. heh heh, and guess what? its pink!!! not bright pink but a much mellower shade. nice. i'll show it off once i get it! =p

| Forgot |

::forgot to post this one pic that we got someone to take for us @ Equinox::

| 18.05.2006 |

fine, for the record, i drove into malaysia yesterday. their roads were uneven and bumpy, and road signs messy and confusing. i had a hard time differentiating which road led to where.

it was better driving on australia roads. the roadsigns were much clearer and traffic weren't so heavy. only thing was, their roads were mostly very hilly with steep slopes.

yah, what nonsense am i blabbering about?

local roads? yup, the best so far? maybe its because i haven't driven to many places yet.

my point is, i got my class 3 after a long while, and i'm glad i finally got it because i worked hard for it. why should i allow myself to be affected by what some LC pple say about lady drivers?

you're a man, moreover your job requires you to own at least a class 3 license and yet you dun even have. when it comes to retrenchment, i'm certain you're on their number one list, why because you do not even have the basic pre-requisite required of this job. you're pathetic.

laugh about pple? think before you do that. you dun realise how precarious your situation is. if or when the CEO hears about it, either you have to get your license on the first go, or you're fired.

either way, you're at the losing end. laugh at pple somemore, you'll be the first to die.

you see how mean some pple are???

they poke fun, laugh and sarcastically talk about lady drivers and exaggerate the kind of massive jam that lady drivers cause. i reckon its because they don't feel good about themselves therefore they try so hard to put pple, who are alot better than them down.

well what can i say?

L.O.S.E.R

penned @ 1342hrs
-----------------------------------------------------
why are some girls not afraid of telling their age? well i for one am.

not that i'm ashamed of growing old, but i prefer it when pple guess, think, assume and are certain that i am yoonger than my actual age. its a compliment. dun you think?

i'm just frustrated. at what? i dunno.

maybe i woke up at the wrong side of the bed.

*blahz

penned @ 1421

| We Have a Baby... |

oh yes its true!!! its our child, except that its not our flesh and blood. its a teddy bear, haha!
that was the second of my 5th anniversary prezzie from my loving dear.

the teddy bear, originally named Princess (because we didn't have much time to think of a better name so yeah. duh i know but......) we've changed her name to Phoebe, because dear says he likes the name. and that will be the name of our first child, if it so happens to be a girl. *hee

we got her from Esplanade, this shop called Cool Bears Workshop, i think. she had to go through a "hug-test", where i had to decide if she was stuffed up enough, or if i wanted her to be harder.
then they measured her weight and height, and i even gave her a spa treatment to make her more fluffy by hair-drying her. *hee and then we got her clothes, they're real pretty! i had so much fun, especially picking her outfit and dressing her up! oh oh and i even got her a pair of pink shoes to match her pink outfit, she's sucha doll!


::see how adorable?::


:ma princess gal::

and while in the midst of all these, dear was busy writing a love note to me where he'll stuff it into the teddy bear, and wait for me to pull it out. and then, at the end of it, we prepared a birth certificate for her, with her ID number and birthdate and all. i was sucha happy girl that night!
but my poor dear had to pay so much for our lil child. it came close to a hundred bucks! BUT it was well worth it because i've promised to love her like my own. *blush

so she's happily sitting on my bed now even as we speak. that cute thing. even my pup was so jealous of her and kept wanting to bite her head off. haha!

wait, let me tell you where we went for dinner prior that night. dun faint huh?

dinner was @ Equinox Restaurant, seated on the 70th floor right at the top of the Swissotel. though i had an idea it was gonna be there, i didn't quite believe it until we were there.



i had been there before when i was a lil gal. alright, maybe not that little, say about 10 years old? my dad brought us all up there for a sumptuous buffet lunch one sunday afternoon, and i remembered how clearly we could see the whole of singapore then. now a decade has passed and the hotel has somewhat undergone a revamp and also a change of management, but still the magnificent view remains.

awesome.


::view from the top::


::second view from the top::


::our durians::


::didn't know how to switch to night mode, so this is the best liao::

the daytime was nice. when dusk came, the view was even better. the dim lighting created by the candlelights gave a romantic ambience. moreover to be accompanied by all the colorful skycrapers, dining side by side with them, dear and i had sucha wonderful time there.

first up, their bread. fresh from the oven, it was still warm when they served it.


::can't wait to get my mouth on it!::


::my handsome boy::

then for dinner, i had the set meal, while dear had a-la-carte because he wanted to try their specialty.

my set dinner consists of:

Marinated Hiramasa Kingfish
Pickled Carrot and Fennel, Tomato, Lemon Dressing


Cream of Salsify
Crayfish Brochette, Black Truffle Chantilly, Chervil

Pan-Seared Foie Gras with White Sesame Seeds
Banana Merah Salsa, Grilled Brioche Toast

Pan-Fried Tiger Prawn and Scallop
Stir-fried King Oyster Mushroom with XO Sauce Lotus Bud-Hot Bean Sauce


Strawberry and Lemon Thyme - Tartine
Bavarian Vanilla Cream and Strawberry Jelly Lemon Thyme Ice Cream

Freshly brewed tea

and dear had the:

Air-Dried Duck Breast Salad
Nectarine, Root Vegetable and Green Bean Salad Sherry-Walnut Dressing

Grilled Beef Tenderloin and Braised Cheek
Potato Mousseline, Fricassee of Mushroom, Rosemary Sauce



in all honesty, i didn't think the food was anything wow. it was so-so.

so as dinner had been the first order of the day, we headed to Esplanade and got our very first child. afterward, we walked through Citylink and went in to Gelare and had a lil supper. dear had brownie with cookies' n cream on top of it, ooooohhhhh the orgasmic feel was
amazing. and i had caeser salad. it was nice too. i had a sudden craving for smoked salmon, so i requested for additional topping. i'm sucha pig! which reminds me, i need to work out my spare tyres, i've put on weight!!!

okok, back to Equinox. before we left the place, we were told their toilets were a must-visit, and so we went.


::tried to take an overview but guess this will have to do; i loved the toilets by the way::

then as we headed back home, we kept talking about our prezzies. we had agreed earlier in the morning that we'd hide each other's prezzie in the respective rooms while the other person waits outside. then we'll write 3 clues and leave it around the room for the person to find. kinda like a treasure hunt. so as we were talking about it in the train, we kept giggling and laughing because the clues that dear gave me was so hard! i couldn't solve it at all!!! but he always gives in to me, because he loves me so much, so in the end i managed to guess the very first clue with his obvious hints. ha!

the hunt began with me finding my prezzie first in my room. after a long while, i finally found my prezzie which he so painstakingly made for me.



its a minature of our story in the beginning. its the beginning of Tezhong & Wylyn. so sweet! i couldn't stop smiling because i loved it very much, just like how i love the lil bear and my dear as well. any idea how tedious it is to do a minature thingy like that? do you know the amount of effort thrown into this prezzie? its priceless.

everything that day was so perfect! i was and still am the happiest and most blessed gal in this whole world!!!

i love you dear! thank you for making our 5th year so memorable. thank you for always making me feel so special. and thank you for loving me so much!

p.s pls let this be the last time we fine-dine, until you ORD and get yourself a real job, ok? =)

| Randoms |

11 May 2006

this is bad...this is terrible! i need to rant about how free i am at work today because it seems like my boss ain't gonna be giving me any work, just like yesterday! *hysterical screams

i dun believe it because i didn't wake up so early just to come to work and do nothing but stone at the computer for the next 8 hours and pretend to look busy! because i'm not! its so tiring trying to keep up this pretence of "looking busy".

*pui

how???

and i can't surf the net because i believe they are watching my every move. yah i'm paranoid and hysterical. but that's how LC this company is. serious.

i'm so freaking bored!!! will someone gimme something to do so that the next 8 hours will be easier to pass???

great, and my boss just walked out. and will probably take forever to come back. at least when he's around, i know there might be a possibility that he will gimme some work to do. but if he's gone, it just means there wouldn't be anything!!!! dun even think about it. nothing!!!

i'm so unhappy!!! do you call this a healthy balance of work and free time?! NOT!!!!!!!!! i'm so unhappy, i really am.

can you see all the exclaimation marks and bolded words and the emphasis i'm trying to make here? i'm so extremely bored. period.

penned @ 0842hrs

----------------------------------------
9 May 2006

this is without a doubt, the most blown outta proportion matter i've ever seen in an office setting, with regards to work.

if its as simple as the system capturing the wrong data, then inform the IT department so they can rectify the situation. i dun see how by asking the person in question, she can help you. if she was really in the wrong, and is frantically trying to cover up her mistake, she would definitely not tell you the one deciciding factor that will help you solve the problem.

*major eyeroll

so duh. the executive.

and, God knows how many times he/she had already stabbed me in front of my boss. but this is definitely not my mistake in any way, i'm just reporting an error. whoever is able enough will solve the problem, if not, when this happens again next month, i am so going to just send out the report full of wrong data captured to the auditors, and you see what you'll get.

muahahahahahaha!!! my evil plan.

but of course i wouldn't do sucha thing. i believe the truth will prevail, and if you're wrong, you're wrong. just admit it. loser!

penned @ 1123hrs

| Perfect |

last weekend in the rain, you brought me back to the time where our love was young. the kind of innocence we had back then, we seemed to have lost it over the years. but it was so beautiful, to just be walking in the rain with you, holding your hand and nothing else.

hiding in the playhouse, hiding from the rain, hiding from each other. but your warmth and your sincerity again melted my heart. how can you be so perfect?

you always love me no matter what i do to you, you always love me the same no matter how i've hurt you. how can you still tolerate me in your heart?

i'm so touched, so grateful, so thankful, so blessed, so fortunate.

why must we always realise the importance of something only when we're about to lose it? but i'm glad we didn't. i'm glad we managed to pull it through, as always. i'm real glad, from the bottom of my heart.

| Voting |

my dear has gone to dig hole, his outfield exercise for the next 3 days. *lolx

my new com is down, which is why i haven't been able to upload any pictures, especially my KL trip. i shall try to upload it in my old com instead and blog from there.

that aside.

last weekend was crazy, with my duty as a citizen to vote, i had to choose between the current government or the opposition. the whole voting process was fast and easy. i was done in less than 5 minutes. it was like a lucky-draw contest if you ask me, and there were many ushers deployed there helping us find our way in the school.

BUT i was blur enough not to see the box where we were all suppose to put our votes in and almost brought the voting slip out where my parents were waiting. because the whole affair was like some top-secret mission, it seemed like we weren't allowed to talk. so i didn't think it was appropraite for me to ask my next-door neighbour where the darn box was. so i happily cruised out with the voting slip in my hand and asked my dad where the box was. he was utterly shocked and pointed at the very discreet position where the box laid and said "there!".

oh my, that was most embarassing. i had to bite my lips until i was outta the voting area before i burst out laughing. for a moment, i thought the officials were gonna yank me outta the place and call my vote null. BUT i was very thankful that didn't happen.

hey, come on, there's always a first time. =p but it was truly an experience. i enjoyed it!

| Synergy |

synergy - that's what a couple should possess.

despite my threats and emotional blackmail, the boyfriend still went against me.

major disappointing.

we do not even think alike, how can a couple last without synergy?

you tell me.

| Lil Thailand |

my anniversary is coming. i'm so excited.

the family was @ little thailand yesterday for dinner, and it made me realise how much i miss my second home for the last few years. i've been travelling to the kingdom since i was a little girl @ 4. we've been to almost every province in there, and incidentally, that was also the first country (not counting malaysia) dear and i visited together.

the shopping and food paradise.
the spices and retail therapy.
the thai foot and body massages.
the beaches and sea-sports.
the morning markets and late night supper.

oh how i miss that place!

can we go again please?

| Ring |

early in the morning and i feel like blogging.

i lost misplaced my ring. couldn't find it anywhere. in my haste to get to work on time, i only managed to search both toilets and my table. i remembered i took it out the same time i took
out my watch last night after i got back from dinner with the family. but it wasn't anywhere near the watch!

the boyfriend was mean. well of course, since its not his ring, and i had disturbed him early in the morning. argh!

where could it be? its so lost!!!

ok and something freaking just happened to my com, its just shut down by itself!!! what good timing!

when i get back today, i will turn the whole house upside-down until i find it and put it where its suppose to be - my finger.

for now, i'll just be busy doing some nonsense stuff to pass the day. i'm so bored, and my ring is so lost, i feel so grumpy, oh just let me rant.

| Lost for Words |

had a super long weekend. hee =p

turned out i really fell ill the night i got back from clubbing and then i was down with some weird viral infection and had MC for 2 days. it was a very painful spasm at my neck area and every movement hurt so badly, i couldn't talk. am so glad its over!

so during my recuperation, i bought the 70 episode Da Chang Jin and stayed home to watch like big time. and i'm proud to annouce i have completed the whole drama. *lolx
my parents just couldn't believe how crazy i was.

and i simply had no time to do up the KL pictures, but my dear had done part of it. be sure to visit his blog to have an idea of our trip though it ain't alot.
i'll do them up when i have more time.

| I'm back! |

i have decided that i will blog now, with the help of my dear posting it for me.

i'm back! and in one piece thank you very much.

went straight to work the next day. how unfortunate. and i'm currently still at work, duh.

that aside, the pictures of our short trip are pending. i've been real tired, and busy at work. signs of falling sick again, i dunno what is wrong with my immune system. looks like i need to find a nearby country to R&R this time round, instead of travelling for retail therapy.

oh and guess what? we're clubbing @ mambo tonight. that's how hectic my life is.

*sigh

no wonder i'm falling sick. well, gotta have fun while i'm still young!

ciao!

penned@ 1245hrs.

| A Long Story |

i had been so busy the last couple of weeks i haven't been able to blog during office hours. but now that i'm free at work, i'd rather do this when i get home, honestly.

chanced upon an article yesterday, actually dear read it and told me to have a look at it. it was titled something like, "Watch Out! Your Boss Sees What You Surf". and i almost died. so i read on and it talked about how sophisticated tracking software are these days that it could not only track employee's internet activities, it can even churn reports out on a periodically basis for the management to measure their employee's productivity. (*major shocked*) and strangely, they don't infringe any privacy law here in singapore! only unless they (employers) capture sensitive information like user name and passwords (to personal emails and especially internet banking) and if caught, then they are liable to face the law. some software are so advanced until they are able to track the exact words you type whilst online and even the contents of your emails etc.

woe to employees!

so even though i'm at work now, i will only post this when i get home. you know like there are times when you just need to let off some steam. this is infuriating but its also so lame.

well i believe employees have the right to surf the net, not during office hours, but during their lunch/tea breaks. i find that absolutely ok. but of course, i'm not an employer and when i do climb up and become the league of "management", i'd probably see things in a different light. right now, i'm just happy where i am until i get my degree and all set to move up. =)

penned@ 0850hrs.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

second post of the day, this sure is sucky with internet access and yet being monitored 24/7. (*pui) it feels like its already the second half of the day because i've already started fighting with the zzz monster and its not even lunch time yet! (*screams)i have work to do and if i set out to do them up now, i'd definitely finish it in no time. then i'd be so bored again later. so i've decided to do all the lil stuff first before doing the more tedious ones later. today is already wednesday. 2 more days and we'll be off to KL. yay! guess that's the only thing keeping me going for now.

oh and have i talked about my new favourite show? the one that is keeping me awake when i'm suppose to already be resting everynight? Da Chang Jin. ahahahaha! what's new right? yeah i admit i'm one of the slow adopters when it comes to epic korean dramas, but its nice. it really is. all the cooking and all, my favourite! and boy am i so inspired to whip up something delicious again. =p talks about politics, greed and strive for power. where there are women, there also will be trouble. that's something i've enlightened and learnt from an all-girls school 16 years ago. there'll be jealousy, competition and hate. handle it well and it becomes constructive. handle it otherwise, and it will manifest into something evil.

girls and women.
bitches and sluts.
babes and whores.

that's why i never believed in friendships between girls. i find friendships of that sort of sheer hypocrisy. its all surface, its all a pretence. because surely there are loads of underground emotions,where everybody thinks she's prettier or better than other girls in some way or another, and perhaps its true, but everyone is special in her own way. therefore there really isn't a need to think too highly of oneself, isn't it?

and how on earth have i digressed to a topic like this? from my favourite korean drama to girls being the ultimate hypocrites??? haha! its amazing how my brain works sometimes. but isn't it more amazing to know how the minds of girls work? indeed.

penned @ 1232hrs

| First |

So it has been settled, just the both of us heading outta the country, for the first time.

well, to me, its kinda like a pre-anniversary celebration since our actual day is extremely close to a PH in less than 3 weeks' time. and since he's forced to go on leave next week, we thought we might as well make use of the block leave. after endless pleas, i'm finally allowed to leave the country on my own. its just a short short trip that i hope will have lotsa fun.

its no where far, will just be heading to KL.

i suddenly feel like i'm growing older and older, especially since i got my class 3. everything "adult" and "mature" seems to be all falling in place. hmmm. guess i'll just take it in my stride and wait for the "bigger" things to come.

| Resurrection |

what did i want to write about? i forgot.

oh yes, Good Friday and Easter.

i only have one thing to say:

Jesus conquered it all (Death & Satan) when He rose on Easter. Praise Him for that victory!

to have a view of what Jesus went through to save us, do meditate on Psalm 22 and/or Isaiah 53.

| Experience |

was mad-rushing this korean drama serial last weekend that dear's mom borrowed from her sister - Little Bride. its so hilarious and every episode just so want to make you watch more! highly recommeded!

ok, that aside.

sadly, that was how we spent our weekend, except for the lil time out @ TM for dinner.

and i just have to blog this down.

i started driving on the roads liao! hee =p on singapore roads! not my first time and technically speaking i shouldn't be so over-excited about it but the fact that i got my license and i've started driving my parents around is a big thing to me! its the very least i could do after all their loving and patience.

my daddy was so pleased and so delighted that i got my license and is pretty impressed by the way i drive except of course he could tell how tensed i still feel. its a mental block he says which i can't help but agree.

well, if its any mental block, its starting to diminish as we speak and i'm getting more and more confident of myself. =)

even dear said i'm doing good and he treated me to my favourite sakae sushi! *yumz

i'm so thankful i have my daddy's car to drive on and that almost any time i want to use the car, i could. and i'm even more thankful i have my daddy to still guide me through experiencing the real thing on the roads.

and i also have to say this:

singapore drivers so Cannot Make It. they speed like hell and like nobody's business. its no wonder there are so many accidents around. *sigh

well but i'm different. i like happily cruising down the highway on the indicated speed limit. and if you're one of those drivers enjoying speeding on the roads and you happen to bump into me on the roads, do not even attempt to high beam me or horn me. i will drive even slower and piss the shit outta you. ha!

| The Wonder of God |

i got my class 3 today! =)

and all the credit goes to the Lord because the one verse that i kept repeating in my head to curb my extreme anxiety and nervousness was Proverbs 3:5-6.

God works, Daddy God really works when you meditate on His words!!!

"Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. But in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."

as for me, i will only drive when my daddy is around. i'm still scared. =p

lesson learnt: meditation on the Lord's words brings about things you never expected. and dun only go to Him when you have a prayer need, prayer is daily communication with Daddy God.

| Pictures |

::the pretty blue sky::


::waiting for IceAge 2 @ Cathay Grand::


::my baby russ::

| *LC Anonymous |

i'm finally free enough to write today.

but before i do so, i just have to say this to the anonymous person that has been spamming my tagboard.

i do allow freedom of speech, and i definitely welcome constructive criticisms. but if you consistently put me down with hurtful remarks, then i guess i'd just have to do something about it - delete your comments. this is after all my blog, my web space, my prerogative! i'm not even asking you to respect me, but at least respect yourself and save some dignity for yourself. you are still, nothing but pathetic.

on this web space, i am entitled to write as much as i want, how i like and how i feel about things and pple around me. you have no right to judge me, so don't even try to stop me. you are nobody.

in my life, as far as i'm concerned, you don't even exist to me. i cannot even begin to understand why you should get so worked up over something i've said about somebody you don't even know, unless of course, you are the person in question which i highly doubt. and whether i'm pretty or not, have a high forehead or not, has absolutely nothing to do with you at all. God made me this way and i appreciate His work, why should you care? your english sucks by the way, because you obviously do not understand what is the meaning of ogle. well let me enlighten you then. according to the dictionary, the word ogle means to stare at flirtatiously, or amorously. and since you dunno the meaning of ogle, i won't blame you for not knowing the meaning to amorously. amorously means to be:

1. Strongly attracted or disposed to love, especially sexual love.
2. Indicative of love or sexual desire: an amorous glance.
3. Of or associated with love: an amorous poem.
4. Being in love; enamored

are these adjectives indicative of a clown? obviously NOT. therefore i am not wrong in saying your english sucks.

whatever the case is, you should just shut your gap and let it go. and forget about ever typing my url, forget about ever visiting my blog. your interest in my life makes me sick.

enough said.

one more time i see your comment or IP address on my tagboard, i'm calling the police. you'd really wish i wouldn't, so don't try me.

i hereby annouce, whoever wants to leave a comment on my tagboard must leave a name, your name preferably. and because i now do moderation, anything offensive on my tagboard and off it goes, into thin air.

thank you dear, for always being the one standing up for me. =)

*LC really just means LOW CLASS, in singaporean context.

| 16 Updates |

long time...been a real hectic week and boy am i glad the weekends are here!

so much stuff to update. will just let my fingers do the typing, whatever that comes to my mind first.

1. boss' birthday is tomorrow. some girl got him a cake today and he gave me a slice. so duh but yah, he's a nice chap. and please, he's married with a child already.
2. dear will be out tomorrow afternoon and we might be going clubbing?
3. i wanna go swimming!!! my muscles are hardening!
4. oh went for my first formal, official meeting on my boss' behalf on tuesday at another branch with 4 other managers. *phew it was real stressful and it was a last-minute thing, totally caught me unaware.
5. lotsa work and preparation for today's auditors' check. and that darn engineer is so incompetent, i had to run every single report and do up graphs for him. and even then he still couldn't understand and asked me how to read the graph. *major eyeroll
6. slowly settling our school. man i'm so excited we're gonna be starting school soon. hee=p (even though its part-time)
7. also been helping my big sis get information for her wedding. i'm starting to feel like a wedding planner. its way cool i tell you! almost every hotel i enquired thought i was the one getting married and i'm thinking, it'll be cool if i was the bride instead. haha! but nah, not so soon, another 5 years perhaps? and hey, a wedding planner for a career ain't a bad idea huh?????
8. whilst enquiring, this same sentence in all the wedding packages kept flashing: "Complimentary breakfast the morning after your wedding celebration". yew like so gross? like you know..consumate the marriage kinda thing...like having sex...yew like for the first time??!! *ouch
9. my sis and her husband-to-be had already come up with the guest-list and my sis will pass that list to my second sis and then to me when its our turn to tie the knot. ha!
10. ohoh and i almost forgot. as you can see on the right side of your screen is a very crude comment down on my 'freedom of speech'. its absolutely fine if you know me and you want to drop me a comment like that, i can really appreciate your honesty and your guts in an attempt to offend me but have obviously failed miserably. and if it was just a passer-by, they wouldn't be bothered to leave a comment like that to aggravate someone they dun know. its pointless. so my conclusion is, this person definitely knows me. whether i know you or not is a different story. whatever, if you really have the guts, i dare you to leave your name. this is so LC and so unprofessional. total waste of my time. and be careful, i'm watching your IP address.
11. saw my pay slip and there was really a deduction! i mean, all along it seemed so unreal, how was i to know its reality? man, this is so not right...
12. and whilst surfing for some of the hotels today at work, there was a warning screen from my company which said, "Please be reminded that the use of Internet is purely for official business. Any unauthorised surfing is closely monitored." DAMN! what age are we in and to even surf the net is counted illegal?! which is why if there'a another retrenchment exercise, i'd definitely be the first to go. =(
13. think i'm falling sick...my lips are ultra dry, and my throat is feeling weird. the kind of weird when you know you're gonna fall soon. oh no...
14. but i'm real satisfied with myself for not taking any unneccessary (urgent) leave in march, its an achievement to me ok?!
15. my home doesn't feel like my home anymore. its been occupied permenently by someone who doesn't even have the decency to refill the ice even though he was the last person who finished it up. and he just sticks around in here even without the other half around.
16. i wanna take lotsa pics. realised how empty my blog has been ever since i changed to this blogskin. *hintz

i'm almost done. wait, i think i'm done for the day. goodnight!

| Acknowledgement |

"Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. But in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

this verse came to mind the minute i thought about that. i've been struggling with it for the longest of time and no one knows about it, not even my family. only my dear who's always so supportive. then again i guess they do have an idea about it, but not the whole picture.

i used to do Bible study when i was younger, i'd make time just to go down to church to learn about the Word even how tired i was back then when i was a student, before i met dear of course. i enjoyed it very much because i'd always get to learn new stuff. but there would times where i'd feel intimidated or inferior because all the other members were like WOW, they knew almost everything i didn't.

but that was the past, a long time ago, but still i yearn to have that kinda passion to burn in me once again.

my big sis is gonna get married at the end of this year which is also the beginning of the new year. she and her husband-to-be have been attending Bible study every week, learning how to support one another in a marriage. they're also learning family planning according to what God teaches in the Bible. its really cool.

we need to attend cell group, we need to learn how to grow in a small group first before we can grow in a church and grow spiritually. that was what the Purpose Driven Life book was talking about all the time which freaked me out and which made me not dare to read the rest of it. in case you're judging me, i'm only human. i get scared too and like Jonah, i would try to hide from God hoping He'd never notice me. ha but guess what? that never happens! God is always with us, its whether we choose to acknowledge His presence or not, its whether we choose to face Him or not.

and now i choose to acknowledge Him.

what about you?

| Make-Up |

yesterday someone commented on my make-up. an amateur, where make-up is concerned, she can't even do her own properly, she dare comment on mine. i felt like slapping her in the face.

ok i admit i ain't a natural or an expert when it comes to make-up, and neither am i sucha fantastic artist, but i know my face better and i know enough make-up application and tips to get by the day at work, and the night at clubs.

she commented on my blusher. she said i look like a clown. EXCUSE ME?! me, a clown? and what about you? with or without make-up you look just as bad, so what has my blusher got to do with you? besides, i've got naturally high and round cheekbones and i like complimenting it but putting my blusher over them, what business issit of yours? moreover, i feel my make-up is good enough to send the entire company ogling at me whenever i pass, so tell me, is my make-up still bad? if my make-up were genuinely bad, why would guys wanna look at me? why would they still comment that i'm pretty? why would so many of them wanna get my number? why would so many of them wanna find opportunities just to come talk to me? why why why? because regardless of whether the blusher on my cheekbones which offends you so is nice or not or looks like a clown or not, i have men wanting me. and i dun even need to wear short skirts and low tops. what about you? open up your legs and they even have to consider f**king you. that's where the difference between you and me lies and that's why i'm so wanted around here and you're not. BITCH!

so dun talk to me about make-up, and whether i look nice in it or not. its not up to you to decide.

fyi, i'm only this vulgar when someone upsets me so, and you just have to blame yourself for stepping on my tail you LOSER.

my conclusion: she's always so critical of me, why because i'm younger and i know how to dress better than her. she's always trying to say things to hurt me, she's the real sore one who knows she's no longer young and is trying all ways and means to put me down so that i would really listen to her and not make-up or dress in a certain manner and therefore look ugly. i'm not so stupid.

| Free |

last weekend was fulfilling. i was on my own and i finished almost everything i had set out to do.

1. did some baking yesterday - durian cake, will do more when i get home tonight - brownies
2. did ironing for my work week
3. did my laundry and changed my bedsheets
4. learnt how to sing 'Shan Hu Hai'
5. blew-dry my pup after his bath, and combed his hair.

i thank God my pup is feeling better already, at least he's eating again. he wasn't himself the last couple of days and we were all so worried for him.

and i realised something over the weekends: how much i used to bake and cook before i had my dear. even the initial years when we were together, i always baked and cooked him stuff to eat, and he'll always be so happy and contented. his very first birthday with me, i baked him a strawberry cake and he was extremely happy.
my dear is a very simple man, because his happiness and sadness can be seen in a glance. all i had to do was make something for him and he'll be very delighted.

as we both grew up in this fast-paced city, i think sometimes we tend to forget the simplest pleasures in life:
a stroll by the beach,
a simple dinner at the foodcourt,
snacking on indian rojak at the old kopitiam,
watching the 7pm or 9pm show together,
cheng teng usually for supper at kopitiam,
a morning swim @ downtown east,
making fried wantan together,
and the list goes on.
we tend to neglect and take the things around us for granted, forgetting the simplest pleasures we both shared 5 years ago when we were so young, were free. we almost did last weekend and as a result, almost lost the most precious in our lives.

always remember,

"The Best Things In Life Are Free"

i loved you 5 years ago, and i'll still keep loving you for the next 5 years, 10 years, 50 years to come.

| Letting Go |

whenever i hear him say those two words, i'd be in a shock for 20 seconds before i regain consciousness again.

reckoned i had to write, its the only way of keeping my sanity.

things between us got worse, and it was so bad he had wanted to give up. he said those two words. its very 'ouch' coming from him.

he hardly says those two words, in face he hasn't except maybe this is his third time outta 5 years? he's got patience, more than me i must say, though we've got extremely similar characters.

maybe 18 was a bad age to start a relationship. maybe 18 was too young for us. maybe a couple shouldn't be still dating after 5 years, they should be already married and settled down, waiting for the birth of their new life and a whole lot of mess to come.

or maybe its just me.

it was a 3-hour long conversation, he at the other end of singapore, while i'm at home. the ultimatum came: one last chance for us both, for this relationship.

after so much nurturing and so much protection, this relationship is once again put up to the test. will it stand this time round? i have not the slightest clue. but its scary seeing your love hanging on a thin line.

i'm so scared.

what happened? we couldn't figure out what exactly went wrong, but we do know that we haven't stopped quarrelling for the past 10 days or so, and it has taken a toll on both our hearts.

i'm no longer angry at things i cannot change, i only feel pain and anguish now.

what will the verdict be?

sometimes i wonder how God can allow two souls to cross path, fall in love, share a life together for so long, and then bear to tear it apart. issit really His doing or issit the Devil?

will our union bring about powerful works to the Lord, that's why the Devil is trying so hard to break us apart?

so many obstacles, so many hurdles, when will all these strives ever end? its so tiring. i can see why there are so many pple out there who are willing to stay single than to have a partner.

if this really ends, will we ever have the courage to love again? i'm pretty sure i wouldn't. because i know, deep down inside, he's been the best to me, and nobody else could ever measure up to him.
and if this really ends, i hope he'll find someone better, because i know how well he deserves someone so much better than me.

try as hard as we may, i reckon we've tried hard enough to work things out. but for some strange reasons, this time round, it ain't working. so i'm leaving this in God's hands, and see what He deems fit.

| All |

its when i am totally speechless that i usually come online to write. i'm so freaking sick of writing about the ugly side of my life and announce that the once-glorious part of my life has come down to pieces.

my fairy tale? my ass maybe.

i try to be rational, i try to compromise and be reasonable but when i'm growing older and older and i'm still the way i was when i left poly, i start to fret and think, damn i better do something about it. its precisely because i'm answerable to my own life, as far as possible, i'd like to make it a comfortable, happy and financially-stable one. how? by planning.

this darn duty is killing you i know, but when you've had your well-deserved rest, its time to get up and go. don't give excuses that its my rest day and therefore i am slow-motion. crap. then can i also give you that excuse when its my rest day?

you said your rest day is for me, to spend time with me. you see your army friends like 24/7 doing duty together and still at home you miss them and want to msn with them? oh spare me.
especially if you can be well chatting with them (*major eyeroll*) i think perhaps while waiting for their reply, instead of surfing for war craft maps and cheat codes, open up another damn window or so and research on school, hdb flats, loans and so on. if i always have to be the one reminding you, what good issit? you would have missed the point, big time.

we're living in singapore you know, HELLO? when i told you years ago i'd like to migrate to aussie someday, your loyalty to singapore had won you the best soldier or best citizen of the year award. and now the price is this: fast-paced, high living standards and basically money all the time. you chose it, so you pay for it.

this lil island is so fast-paced that it doesn't allow you to stop and think, not even for a lil while coz then it might just cost you our new home or our loan for the house and for school. you also know this quote and now i'll quote it back to you, "Time and tide wait for no men". so no you do not have time or the luxury to slow-mo here in fast-paced singapore. you gotta think quick, act quick and plan quick.

please, i think i'm understanding enough lor.

right, and since i'm writing this to you, i might as well say it once and for all.

your lateness and tardiness is getting on me, bad. i cannot even remember when was the last time you were on time meeting me. was that while we were still in school? during our honeymoon period? yah i think so.

clearly i'm not worth that much effort anymore right since we are like so close and have been together for so long already. which is why i'm asking you, how can i relax when we're not even married and you're like shit in meeting me for a date?! i ain't a very patient person, anybody who knows me knows that fact and i don't like to wait for too long. never mind about me waiting, its about you not leaving house 15 minutes earlier when you know the buses and trains screw up all the time. its about why couldn't you have thought about the clothes you wanna wear while showering instead of staring point-blank after your shower, at your wardrobe and feeling undecided and thus have already wasted 10 minutes just picking clothes?!

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i just dun get it, what is wrong with you? what is wrong with this relationship? what is wrong with me?

things aren't quite like how they used to be. things change, people change, i know i know. but whatever that is happening now is not normal. its freaky.

did someone put a spell on us?

ok, outta point.

the point is, your attitude is all wrong. whenever i talk to you about the future, you freak out. why, dun wanna spend the rest of your life with me? life is not a bed of roses where we can survive on peanuts, fresh air and water all 365 days. its no use saying and no action. when are you actually going to do something concrete about our future, our marriage and our home?

talk is cheap. and i dun need that.

what i need from you is sincerity, honesty and determination to make things right for me, for us again. dun let the army rob you of your love for me, dun let the army take away all the plans you've had with me since the beginning of our relationship.

please dun let me give up hope on you. i wouldn't bear too, but one will reject all love after extreme agony.

| Bonus..NOT |

news of my company's bonus is out, and after everyone heard the news, we all have no more mood to work, and would rather be on leave.

they say its so because then we wouldn't have to go through the 'axe'.

and now, we even have to pay back the company, and its much worse for me because my bonus is pro-rated, and thus i would get lesser, but pay back more.

some time in december last year, we all got a portion of the bonus, it was a thousand dollars. and now that the percentage for the bonus has somewhat been finalised, i would have to return this one thousand dollars AND they still have to cut part of my pay.

what kinda rubbish?!

they say if we can pull through this year, next year's bonus would be even more.

yeah right, i so love to believe them.

but what about now? they say the company will deduct through 2 instalments, so i'll practically be living on peanuts, fresh air and water.

how can this company do this? how can you expect your employees to throw up all those money after having given them and having them spent it all?!

i regret taking that one thousand, though there wasn't much of a choice, still if we hadn't taken then, we wouldn't have to repay now.

how LC can they get? talk about next year, i wouldn't even know if i'd still wanna carry on here. i dun get no satisfaction or accomplishment here, why would i wanna stay anyway?

*sigh

there goes my short trip.

| I Wonder |

questions after questions fill my mind,
about how you could become so void.
did i care too much or too lil?
i wonder.

waiting, i've wasted one and a half years waiting,
in return, all i got was "dun press me any further".
sometimes a lil encouragement is all it takes,
issit too hard for you?
i wonder.

did i make the wrong choice?
did i make the wrong decision in waiting?
will i regret in time to come?
i wonder.

feels like Heaven is making a spot of me.
feels like i've been the clown in this story.
am i drowning myself in self-pity?
i wonder.

5 years and its become dry, monotonous and boring.
or maybe i have just forgotten how to blog about the happy times.
in the next 5 years,
will this still be my fairy tale?

| Understanding |

thank you for waiting till this morning to text me. pity i couldn't read every word because of mobile incompatability.

that aside, i really didn't feel like coming to work today. for your information, working life ain't like a bed of roses, even in my ex-company where i may have enjoyed myself more than here, its not that happening. believe me. the minute you are out in this society, pple are mean, and they dun care if you're a fresh grad with or without knowledge or experience, they dun care.

no doubt you get paid, but you get paid because you earned it. all the shit, attitude, sarcasm, gossips and all the what-nots. now tell me, do i still deserve what i see on my pay slip at the end of every month?

i certainly do.

and now all i'm asking for is a break, a short trip, a holiday, to recharge my already drained soul. why can't you understand that? am i asking for alot? honestly?

if you had been faithfully saving and already have a decent amount in your bank, would your answer still be like last nights'?

i dun blame you knowing you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth, i know how things are at home for you. but all these that i'm asking for now are things you can jolly well give me, its absolutely within your means.

please understand, i really need to leave this place for a lil while.

and remember,

i deserve the best because i am worth every bit of it, and i will never settle for anything lesser.

| Roller Chairs |

i hate roller chairs.

it rolls when you least want them too

and because they have rollers, they cannot keep still.

man i hate roller chairs.

especially when i'm cramping like mad and i dun wanna move, it moves.

argh!!!

| My Pain |

women are such noble creatures.

this i totally agree.

as i grow older in this society, i begin to see and realise how strong women are. having to juggle between work and family, friends and emotional stress, and even menstrual cramps.

ok i know how duh this topic is, but its true.

like how issit possible for women to take MC every month when they are cramping? which company would actually allow that or even accept any women with problems like these?

imagine i take MC every month when i'm cramping, in 6 months, i'll definitely be fired. so i don't and bear with the pain silently in this cubicle of mine hoping the pain will go off soon. like now.

and this sudden bout of drowsiness never fails to overwhelm me and make me feel like shutting down.

i have another 90 mons more to go before its home sweet home...oh God, save me!!!

| My Boy Has A Girlfriend! |

my pup has a girlfriend! and she looks just like him!

the pictures below were a display of how my pup reacted in the face of temptation; and the narration would have been his exact words if he could speak. ha! alright, its purely my guess.


jie jie, why did you put me together with this girl???


(after her owner pushed her closer to my pup)
why are you coming closer and closer to me???


dun come any nearer huh? or i'll scream!


i mean it, any nearer and i'll jump!


ok fine. i won't jump but let's get this straight, i'll never fall for you and we can only be friends, ok?


(apparently hurt, she turns away and is real upset.)


(after awhile...both agrees)
alright alright, we'll be friends, but nothing more!

| Nobody |

as far as i can remember, this was my favourite song. pretty old, but i love it to bits!

Nobody
Sylvia

Sittin' in a Restaurant
She walked By
I seemed to recall that certain look in your eye
I asked "who's that? "
You said with a smile"Oh it's Nobody....Nobody."

Well maybe that explains the last two weeks
You called me up, dead on your feet
Working late again, I asked who's with you
You say "Nobody.....Oh Nobody."

"Well your Nobody called today
She hung up when I asked her name
Well I wonder does she think she's being clever?
(clever.....ooh ooh)

You say Nobody's after you
The fact is what you say is true
But I can love you like Nobody can ......even better

Late last night we went for a ride
You were miles away I asked "who's on your mind?"
You said , "Nobody..Nobody. Why do you ask?"
Oh, Her again I could have told you that.

We came back home got ready for bed
I said to myself I've got one shot left
You're still mine and I won't stand in line
Behind Nobody....Oh Nobody!

Well your Nobody called today
She hung up when I asked her name
Well I wonder does she think she's being clever?
(clever.....ohh ohh)

You say Nobody's after you
The fact is what you say is true
But I can Love you like Nobody can.....even better.

| Why i Blog? |

was blog surfing after my second post and realised there are some blogs which i haven't been to for an awfully long time, and one was actually already closed.

it so sad closing down blogs after years of attachment.

i went to my dear's second blog - theboyacrossthestreet@blogspot (the first have been deleted and his final and third one is the current simplejunctionbox@blogspot) i was feeling highly emotional because he mentioned in passing, that he might stop blogging for good and i wonder why.

say, do you think there will ever come a day where i might say i wanna stop blogging too and thus close this blog of mine?

yeah, perhaps there isn't a rationale behind blogging after all but i'm highly affected by these closure.

for me, blogging equates to writing a diary, except that i dun really write with my hands, rather i type it out and publish it, making it public for the world to read about the on-goings of my life. and every word i've typed on this blog so far would be an exact replica of a written diary, say if i were to have one. but for many others, its just a cool thing since its the 'in' thing and since everyone has it, so will they. especially for those in their teens.

maybe i should close my blog too since i can't find an answer to blogging except that, i actually enjoy ranting and raving and complaining and grumbling big time.

what am i talking about?

my sisters have asked me before too, why i keep an online journal? my answer was because i've always kept a diary but am too lazy to actually pen it down as i grew older. but why for the world to see especially since its suppose to be your deepest darkest secrets and thoughts? because of self-gratification was my answer. but that was also a question to myself.

i have no idea why i keep a blog. perhaps its really because of self-gratification?

i guess its because i'm a thinking person, and so is everyone else i know. but honestly, i think alot more than others and further too if i may add, that sometimes my dear thinks i'm crazy and paranoid. but i'm not. its just the way that i am - i think alot.

so when i think too much and these thoughts have no where else to go, they come here - on my web space. some are insane, some are silly, some are stupid and retarded, some are selfish and some are inspiring. some are anger, some are jealousy. i house all of these thoughts and feelings on my blog, giving pple a chance to get to know me, but am also giving them a chance to judge me and to put me down.

well, you gain some, you lose some. you can never have the best of both worlds can you? nah, highly impossible.

but i do think, if there ever comes a day where i'll have to say goodbye to this web space of mine, i'll probably cry like mad and be real upset about it because most of my life's happenings' were recorded down here, on this blog which happens to be the one and only eprincessdiary@blogspot.com

| zzzzzz |

i've been trying to refrain from surfing the web today but i couldn't help it in the end and succumbed to my IE. without my IE in my office desktop, i will die. i really would. its my only link to the outside world and 8 hours in here is torture.

its after lunch and i'm busy fighting with the zzz monster again. its extreme today. i feel i could doze off with my fingers still typing on the keyboard. maybe i ate too full or something. after lunch today, i was still hungry and i ta-bao fried rice back to eat. ate half a pack and i'm too full for the rest.

anyway, plan for tomorrow is out. will be heading down to eski bar in the night to drink and to chill. never been there though i read about it in the papers before. wonder how cold it really is...?

my dear wouldn't be with me tomorrow. he's my heater, my warmer.

he'll be somewhere else serving the nation. he'll only be back on sunday late afternoon like i mentioned. and this is going to carry on for a month. 4 weekends burnt. how painful.

| Down |

Let me rave about how bad i'm feeling right now.

it's the decisive force again. Always taking my boy away, on weekends!!! Why can't they let him go? it's been so long already, and he's also almost ORD-ing, I just dun see why they can't let him off.

Duty after duty after duty. How much longer do I have to put up with this? I understand his position, I understand their position, i'm just frustrated i can't get to be with him this weekend again. i'll only get to see him on Sunday afternoon, late afternoon that is, like when my weekends are almost over. And then the next weekend is the same. This sux. i have nothing more to look forward too anymore.

*sigh

and now I have no more motivation to work or to do anything else because i'm feeling so down.

Jesus said to look to Him for anything. He's talking to me. I should, and stop leaning on men.

| Not Again |

*sigh

i really dunno wassup with me making so many blunders within days, oh and now i feel like a complete fool.

Date Movie will only be out next week, the sneak preview that is.

so, will go on as planned to watch Rumour Has It.

for some strange reasons, i can't link the movie page to my blog. whatever.

| Entertainment |

i've been wanting to blog about this for the longest time but it always slipped my mind when i'm writing.

the scarlet.

my first thought was: scary. with all the red stuff and all. but turns out otherwise, a pretty lil hotel.

actually chanced upon it on the papers during the v-day weekend and read that jay chou, my all-time idol stayed there before. which gives birth to my new set of wishlist which i hope can be somewhat fulfilled by the end of this year.

1. Couple Spa
2. Stay in the lavish Scarlet
3. go up to Mt Faber for a romantic al-fresco dinner alongside the lush greeneries.
4. Sky Dining? hmmm nah will just be contented to have my first cable car ride with you.

looking at the number of links i have on this post, already suggests how bo liao i am today. i have work to do but i dun feel like it coz boss ain't around, all the way till tuesday. *lolx

and after work, am gonna catch the sneaks for the Date Movie. actually i already saw the trailer, its damn funny! =p

| Prank Call |

i was busy fighting with the zzz monster today in the office. why? let me tell you why.

there has been this as**ole calling my number in the middle of the night for 2 nights consecutively. regardless of whether i'm a light sleeper or not, anybody would have been awakened.

so after i got up for work this morning, i called the number back and screwed the fella upside down.

prankster: hello
me: where's this place?
prankster: residence
me: why have you been calling my number for the last couple of nights?
prankster: (with lotsa erm.. and ar.. and oh... and hmmm..) maybe someone called wrongly
me: (yelling at the top of my lungs) for 2 nights in a row?! and in the middle of the night???!!! one more time i see your number on my mobile, i will call the police, you hear me? (and slams phone)

WTF man?

seriously.

like you think its fun. wait till i call the police and sues him for harrassment, see whether still fun or not.

piss off.

| Not |

ok not. after posting the previous blog, surfed other blogs and realised so many people have already started doing that Johari Window personality thingy.

anywayz...then i realised how slow am i....then i also realised its been awhile since i surfed blogs.

oh hey did i mention we'll be attending my company's function? checked out the hotel online and it looks pretty cool. hmmm they have good comments with regards to their food, and i guess that's what i'm so looking foward too. *hee

i dun mean to be mean, but in the place that i work, there's another department sharing the office and they have quite a large percentage of single ladies, in their 40s. its quite scary and i wonder why. would i be like them? all work and no life and end up left on the shelf? because i do understand, getting up early and ending work early is a good thing, but as i age, i lose my stamina and i always end up heading straight home.

i better start stretching my time and stamina again. gotta find some activities to fill my time after work so i dun become like that. =p

i'm going home! (oh no!!!)

| Johari Window - Edited |

went surfing on friendster yesterday and chanced upon one of my very old friend. i mean i knew her since primary school and as far as i can remember, she's rich, lived in a 3 story bungalow and later on migrated to australia, i think. so turns out that she's already pursuing her phD right now, like isn't that SO amazing?! i'm freaking impressed man, its like she's so capable!

ok, apart from that, what i really wanted to get at is that she had this personality thingy on her friendster blog and i thought it was cool.

anywayz.

| Thankful |

i just want to say i'm feeling a lil accomplished today even though the start of today wasn't exactly the most fantastic.

and seeing my dream(s) realising slowly but surely, i'm terribly grateful to the One above for making it all possible for me. =)

realised i haven't taken pictures with my digi in the longest time and my blog is becoming bare, so here, just a few to share.


::i know its dark but just bear with it::


::the handsome boy - russ baby chia::


::oh and this pup is cute too, found it in some email::