| The Wedding Pictures |

the long awaited wedding pics are up!!! i've been too lazy to do 'em up so yah. there were about thousand-odd pics in all, but i only took 22 out. =p


::my lil boy part of the celebration - check out the 'xi zi' on his paw::


::three of us, sisters forever!::


::mom & dad putting the veil on for their eldest daughter - finally!::


::mom looks on the verge of tears *sobs::


::waiting for her man-to-be::


::yours truly preparing to 'zheng' big bro-in-law and the xiong-dis::


::the jie-meis::


::and the xiong-dis::


::see he finally made it in and got her nevertheless::


::family portrait with the first official son-in-law::


::my two favourite lil gals::


::@ the church::


::standing in line for the church wedding ceremony::


::before the Highest Place::


::another family portrait::


::with the other halves::


::@ night, before the dinner::


::pretty isn't she?::


::can you tell how shag the second sista and i look?::


::with our other halves' family @ the dinner::


::finally happily married - Mr. and Mrs. Kevin Tan::

The End.

| Adult |

yah i know its been ages. i had so much stuff goin' on and i was tied up to the brim, seriously.

after 3 fast-moving months, the summer semester is finally over. the lack of discipline, coupled with the late arrival of the textbooks, and the so-many-other-factors-including-the-sista's wedding contributed to the low grades we have gotten, and most probably am gonna get at the end of the month.

BUT what is over IS over. so learn from it. life itself is a learning process.

the new semester is gonna start at the end of the month, right about the time where we'll be receiving our results. life is so hectic and so busy ever since we started school. i seem to be getting lesser and lesser sleep everyday, and napping more and more during my lunch break.

thankfully my boss understands and is so forgiving. recently, i volunteered for this events planning committee that the company has. this group of people are the ones responsible for events like the annual functions - D&D, movie-screening and stuff. guess it would be quite fun. plus transport is reimbursed so i get to go to the headquarters for meetings (a.k.a to waste time) and also to look-see.

now CNY is round the corner and the spring-cleaning hasn't started yet. the shelves and the cupboards and the wardrobe and the drawers, the bed, the sheets, the table, the windows and the curtains. then there's also the pineapple tarts making, facial, mani/pedicure, AND the CNY dress-shopping, i'm going crazy!!!

last weekend we went for a short romantic batam getaway for V-day with the sistas and their respective other halves. the big sista's parents-in-law came along too and boy were they great! despite their age, they were super spontaneous in all the activities that we did including beach volleyball and soccer, ktv, swimming and water basketball. we also had a spa session out in the nature, and go-karting. haha! it was good fun though there wasn't much romance. pictures will be up soon!

been quarrelling with the boyfriend lately and i wonder if its got anything to do with my year being a Fire Pig. i don't deny how much i hate the amount of time his demanding job takes away from him. i don't deny how much i hate waiting all day long for him too. maybe there's more but i have no idea how to express it except to get angry and burst it out at him at one go.

and yesterday the father played a prank on me and i got so mad i quarrelled with him. he was the one who instigated the big sista to play that prank on me which i so did not appreciate because it was demeaning my abilities as a driver. like i always say, i may not be that good a driver, but i got my class 3 license almost a year ago. if the tester didn't think i was fit for a class 3, he would have kept failing me until he's almost certain that i'll be safe on the roads.
unlike my both sistas, i've never gotten myself into any accidents or crashed anything harder than a dent which i inflicted whilst reverse parking under medication. yes i have bad road directions, i can't recognise most of the roads i've driven on before and if i'm thrown alone on the roads, i'd be so lost until i find any expressway that will bring me back home. but that does not mean i'm incapable of driving to work!!! i really need to let my parents know that i've grown up. i'm no longer the lil girl i used to be. they have to let me go eventually. look, i'm gonna be 24 by the end of this year and they are still not letting me do so many things on my own. like holidaying on my own with the boyfriend and even driving on my own to pick my mom up from work. they have to constantly check on the car and how i am, if i'm hurt or injured or anything to the likes. i know you're concerned and everyone loves the baby of the family, but i'm not growing up in this way, instead i'm growing out and swaying further and further away. i just wanna be treated like my age, like a real adult.

| Organisations |

i feel so bullied at work and its making me so damn bloody pissed off i feel like killing someone.

i'm gonna buy a punching bag soon.

politics in the office again. it gets worse when you are in a bigger organisation.

true, there's nothing wrong with my present office computer except that its the super out-dated windows 98 version with no cd-rom or sound, cannot read my thumbdrive (no wait i think mine is a flashdrive but anyway...) and always hangs on me whenever i open too many applications at a time. what sort of lousy computer is that in the first place you tell me? and not to mention its 6 years old!

so my boss said i could request for a new one provided its approved by all the various channels of authority including my GM and CEO. i did exactly as told, told sucha sweet story of my justification as to why i needed a new one and it got approved.

but the IT guy, this super retarded idiert who's always had a problem with people requesting for new computers and getting it approved, pretended like he never saw my requisition form when i asked him last week. (i suspect he secretly throws away people's requisition forms or pretends it goes missing, because the people who's ever requested for it never ever get their new computers!)

strange isn't it?

but this time round, i still manged to get my new computer and it was delivered to my office today.

because he wasn't able to stop the purchase, he is delibrately stalling time in setting up the new PC. what a downright asshole! seriously.

and you know what his reply was when i asked when his next trip to my branch is?

"oh i'm very busy these few days. i have to set up for 2 other managers. because they are big shots, i have to do for them first. for you, have to wait lah."

oh the nerve of this guy!

i felt like grabbing him through the phone and plucking every single strand of his pathetic hair out!

how can anyone be so mean? how can anyone talk to somebody else like that?
its sssoooooo rude lor and i'm highly frustrated.

i may be a nobody now, but i won't be like this forever. wait till i get my degree and the sky will be the limits man. i may even be your boss someday. what goes up must come down, so dun ever belittle anyone.

there's something called karma.

i will definitely grow and move outta this hell, watch me.

"Be nice to people on your way up, you might just meet them on your way down."

| New Girlfriend |

the boyfriend has a new girlfriend. *screams her name is WORK.

he spends majority of his day with her you see, but he's only got to know her for only just awhile.

she takes up alot of his time, and doesn't let him go after office hours. even on alternate saturdays, he spends more than half the day with her. it makes me feel neglected and unwanted sometimes i hate her sssssoooooo much!!!

i will confront her one of these days and trash things out with her for always hounding the boyfriend. he's mine, so HANDS OFF!

| Dreaming |

*sigh

what channels of distribution?
what use of processes in the extended marketing mix?

i'm SSSSSOOOOOOOO tired of answering all these questions.

i'm so going for retail therapy on friday when i hand in my final assignment.

all the shopping malls out there, you better make way for yours truly!!!

*muahahahahahahahahahahahaha

now back to work please. *pui

| Solitude or Contradiction? |

before i embark on my ASSignment for the night, i just wanna say that this blog will always be my solitude.

and my wireless mouse is outta batteries again.

that's beside the point but, i just figured i can never really let my thoughts be known to people except through writing. writing seems to be my only outlet.

and yet when i have a 3,500 and 3,000 word assignment staring at my face, i'm lost for words.

indeed, i am a walking contradiction.

| Like it! |

i know this is kinda off to say in the middle of the night but i just like my current blogskin to bits because it was made by the boyfriend!!!

muahahahahaha! =p

*ASSignment mulling in process

| Studies |

should have known better that being in one of the group of eight universities meant a certain degree of standard. should have known better that the guy meant it when he said "the univerisity's standards will not be compromised" during our orientation.

now i truly understand and am beginning to wonder if my choice of university was a mistake.

after all, juggling work and studies meant lesser time for research and sadly, research forms the bulk of our assignment preparation.

just got back one of the two assignments handed up earlier, and the results sucked.

and right now, despite the low morale, i have to find ways to motivate myself in order to finish up the final assignments before deadline in the next 10 days.

i'm sssssooooo extremely tired.

3500 words + 3000 words = 7500 words.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" - Phillipians 4:13

Father give me strength.

| Finally...Some Pics |

::the couple::


::my family in the act of spreading some love hee=p::


::us with the lil ones @ the church::

| Weddings |

weddings aren't easy.

i totally peng san after the big sista's wedding.

being part of the bridal shower (jie mei) making fun of the groom, being her real sister, following her wherever she went, being the receptionist at church and at dinner (but i skipped the dinner one because i had to race back to sengkang to find the groom's missing dinner suit but turned out it was at our house?!), being her bridesmaid (yah and we were like real maids lor) taking care of her needs like touching up for her and making sure she's well hydrated etc, the second sista even had to dress her up every time she had to change her gown, walking down the aisle in that freaking tight gown which i couldn't breathe in and not being able to eat much for the first half of the day because given the tight gown, my tummy would definitely show. *phew

by the time we finally made it to the night dinner, my hair was in a total mess. and the camera's batt all went flat, thus explains most of the pics at tea ceremony and the church wedding.

the photographer has the entire collection by the way, but for him to develop the hundreds of photos taken would take him awhile. so i guess i can only show you whatever we have first. =)

was totally blur like sotong before the big day, but now that i've been through it, anyone who wants me part of their jie mei team, you just have to ask. =)

speaking of which i have another friend's wedding at the end of this year. and maybe my second sista is gonna get married too, if she gets her house of course.

me? nah, not yet.

| My Only Christmas Picture |

...last year in 2006 *lalalala....

| @ the wedding |

didn't manage to get a pic of the wedded couple, but here's us for you! hee =p

| Sale |

today was mango sale preview for members and i didn't make it there because of the darn ASSignments weighing me down.

i even totally forgotten to let both the sistas know about it.

am feeling extremely frustrated that i am unable to take advantage of all these bargains. not that mango clothes are fantastic but all the other sales are also just shouting "BUY me!" at such affordable price!

*sighz

drowning in the pool of ASSignments...

| ASSignments |

the last week of class before a short break for christmas.

ASSignments are due the end of this week and the next, and we're nowhere near done.

no head nor tail.

this lecturer or whatever she's suppose to be really C.M.I.

for a subject so easy and something we've done before, she ended up confusing us and making us even more unsure every week.

it'd be a miracle if we make a distinction for this module.

i give up!

| Retrench |

many changes in the company lately, alot of rebranding going on under the corporate name.

so much re-shuffling going on everywhere, its so scary..and suddenly reality just hit me in the face: people got demoted, people got transferred to far away places and stuff, and these are people whom i know.

i thought i understood how the business world worked, but i guess i'm still not quite up there yet, in terms of maturity i mean.

the office suddenly became so cold, so dry, so heartless...

my boss told me not to worrie and said i'm still safe from now till i get my degree. that was definiely assuring but i can't help but still feel uneasy.

and there's the big sista's wedding and the second sista getting all cranky and stuff...

PLUS the ASSignments and work and politics and relationships....i'm SO breaking down, so tired, so fed up!
because just by doing the ASSignments means i can't do any shopping until the 22nd!!!

enough said, goodnight.

| Great Expectations |

time and time again i tell myself not to have any expectations of the boyfriend, but again and again i failed.

could it be the length of us being together is getting way too abnormal?

this job of his is killing me.

seriously.

his job evolves around him so much so that studies has become secondary, and myself, not even anywhere close!

i got stood up for the umpteen times because of his work. and because i am so pms-ing and unusually hungry, i blew up.

like how he always says when it comes to work, "i can't help it", i'll say it back to you now: blowing my top was something i couldn't help it either.

seriously, think about doing different subjects next semester.

| Block |

think i left school for too long, can't seem to be able to clearly write what is expected of me anymore.

i'm so drowning in both my ASSignments...

have already been there and done most of these stuff before, but i just dun see what is wrong!

they call it writer's block.

| Yours Truly |

| Why |

dear all, you know why i haven't been blogging so actively as before?? here's why:

received this mail late last week and it totally made everyone super sianz...

Users of XxxxxxxXxxXxx systems are reminded that under our Corporate Information Protection Policy, IT User Security Guidelines, access to the Internet is for official purposes only and access to web-based email services is prohibited.

Action has been recently taken against employees for the download of files for personal use and for visiting web-based email sites.

Corporate IT monitors and logs all Internet activities and will be stepping up our efforts to ensure policy compliance.

These steps are necessary in preventing the unauthorised use of web-based email services. It also aims to ensure that our Internet connectivity remains available for official purposes.

Thank you and regards
Paul Lim
Information Security Administrator
DID +65 6383 xxxx

i mean, what sort of company does this sort of restriction? come on lah, some more you are world number 2 leh...wah piangz~!

C.M.I

anyway, so its been a long time. yeah i've been busy with the hatchday, start of a new sem, new mobile, PMS-ing, the big sista's wedding, the boyfriend's family going abroad and and stuff...

i had a very lovely surprise from the boyfriend for my hatchday. it was simple, sweet and i liked it. most importantly, i had surprises!!!

pics will be up soon!

| Vivo City |

| Summer Semester |

haven't had the mood to blog lately, been incredibly busy, and so lack of sleep ever since the big sista came back last saturday. haven't even had the time to clear my room of all the traces of biz law since the exam was over last week.

news check:

summer sem is starting next week!!!

how hectic. but i can't say i hate it since i have absolutely nothing to do at work now.

i'm back to the time where i have nothing to do at work.

maybe i'm a fast worker or maybe there was never much work to begin with.

*tsk

and the boyfriend seems to have a serious problem. i can't figure what is wrong with him.

ever since he started on this new job of his, like it takes main priority over everything else and i can't stand it!!!

he sarcastically tells me how free i am at work and if ever there's retrenchment, i'll be the first to go.

what rubbish?!

i was just ranting and telling him how very bored i was and still am, and that was the kinda response i got.

totally unnecessary.

with this kind of treatment, this sort of attitude, seems like my future with him is slowly fading away...of course there are so much more differences, i just can't possibly pen everything down.

takes time perhaps....time again.

| Over |

all the past year exam papers...all the late nights, arguements, reading and lessons came down to this:

it is over.

finally i can kiss the textbook goodbye and all that is related to law.

though it was interesting, there were much concepts to be learnt and understood, and just like that, its over.

now we shall patiently wait for the results at the end of the month before we heave the final sigh of relief.

| Paranoia |

think we're seriously stressing out over our very first exam in 4 years. the last time we had one was in year one in TP.

and to make things worse, i had a nightmare last night.

see our paper is 3 hours.

and our lecturer has been telling us how many students have done badly and/or failed their business law because of the inadequate time.

so in my dream, i was unable to finish the 5 questions. i had only managed to do 3 and a half questions.

and i think i cried big time in my dream because it felt SO real.

FREAKY.

how??? and now i'm getting all paranoid and stuff.

i'm not greedy, i just wanna credit...a pass???

| DnD |

*stressed out

...-studying in process-...

*SCREAMS

| Stay - Goong |

| Perhaps Love - Goong |

| Answer |

oh yes, about the answer. i forgot all about it!

last weekend was spent watching the Princess Hours'. the sista bought the vcd. *evil laughter

the drama featured my DREAMCAR, its SO BEAUTIFUL. the one prettiest car ever, the Volkswagen Beetle. my heart melted when the drama displayed its beauty. i'm gonna own it one of these days.

anywayz, so after finishing the the drama, i had this weird feeling - i wanna fall in love all over again.

its funny how dramas and/or films these days always despict the process of falling in love. there are hardly any movies on couples' who have been together for a long time, and even if there were, its the typical intrusion of a third party who'd wrack the relationship up.

so passé...

some people want the one love that will last forever,
yet others wanna fall in love and feel it all over again...

according to the text message my friend sent, if you don't reply, which means that you dunno how to decode the words, it means that you do not know how to love...

i wonder, how true is this statement?

the answer my dear friends, is YOU ARE MINE.

| Schizophrenic? |

i think i'm a spoilt lil bitchy princess and sometimes i can't stand myself.

like now.

but i'm SSSOOOOOOO upset with the boyfriend.

i hate you for not making me feel special anymore
i hate you for not giving me any surprises anymore
i hate you for not giving me enough time
i hate you for not calling me anymore, i'm the one always calling you now
i hate you for putting work above me, i'm second place now
i hate you for all the talk and no action

i hate you i hate you i hate you!!!!!!

BUT on the brighter side of things, i had fun sending out this sms which requires some patience a lil bit of brains to solve it.

most of the friends chickened out
some took a long time,
others just begged for the answer.

*lolx

dunno who orginated it, a friend just text me the other day. ok, so the message goes like this:

"If you love some, you can arrange these letters into 3 words -

E U E N Y M R O I A

if you don't reply, then you dunno how to love..."

i'll let you in on the answer tonight when i'm back from my last law class.

i'm schizophrenic aren't i?

| Reality |

i made a new discovery this morning - i HATE men.

especially FAT USELESS men.

and the boyfriend too, but i'll come to that in awhile.

so that fat pig was standing there, at where we slide our cards doing a bloody spot check and of all days, i was late this morning. for 3 minutes. DAMMIT!

he gave sarcastic remarks. like what is your bloody problem?!

you're fat and have nothing better to do than to stand there with a stupid notebook and write down the names of all who were late. like for what? you'll get some award for rubbing the balls of the GM? NOT!!!!!! just leave that to the HR department.

and because of that FAT PIG, i skipped breakfast and now i'm all hungry and frustrated and i just wanted to complain to the boyfriend but he also had to piss the shit outta me.

you were in the train, i know.
you can't hear that well, in or out of a train, i know that too.
but if you failed to catch what i said previously, ask me to repeat.
DUN pretend like you heard because i had already finished with that topic and moved to a new topic and you were STILL at the previous topic.

ARGH

and does any of the boyfriends out there use vulgarity on their girls? whom they profess to love and whom they are willing to die for while protecting them?

why does MY boyfriend use vulgarity on ME?

should i still stay with a guy like that?
who is unable to hold his tongue in his fury???

i'm so mad. a hungry girl is an angry girl.

you know because of the bloody haze, i haven't been sleeping well. i just can't seem to have a good night's rest anymore. i'd wake up in the middle of the night or have problems falling asleep altogether and thus i haven't been able to wake up early and get to work on time.

i can't help it!!!!!!!!!!!

the bloody haze is lowering our producitivity rate here in singapore.

and so what if you had the runs this morning. its just your second day of work. i have been in the working society for the past 2 years and even if i have the runs and/or painful cramps in the morning, i STILL come to work. so dun complain, i officially welcome you to REALITY.

this morning has been bad. i can't imagine later.

| Word |

i am like extremely furious right now. the boyfriend's done it again.

despite us being together for the past 5 years, the boyfriend has got BAD habits he needs to rid himself off if he wants this relationship to blossom because i do not think i want to live with a man boy who says things, and never gets it done.

example one:

savings.

when we were in poly 5 years back, we were but poor humble students who didn't have very much pocket money to spend on anything expensive. the boyfriend said that when he goes into army and becomes a soldier who would then have a fixed monthly allowance, he would start saving up for rainy days, and for whatever catastrophe that will come along the way.

that never happened.

example two:

still on savings.

so when the boyfriend got into army, he still could not make good the words he said in poly days due to excessive spending on branded clothes and stuff.

the words he said never came true.

example three:

crystal studs.

the boyfriend said he'd do a nice design for me. from february of this year right up to now, i still have the studs at home.

the designs never came.

when we say something, it is binding on us. you learn law, you know how words can make or break a deal. God also said so in the Bible. you do not have to literally say the words "i promise" or "i guarantee" etc.

and when i confronted the boyfriend today, he had the audacity to deny it and push the blame right back to me saying i did not like and/or approve any of the designs he offered.

bullshit.

this whole design thing is not about whether i liked it or not, but when YOU were ever gonna get down to doing it. he dared to even mutter under his breath and said "i thought you forgot about it".

you say something, you jolly well follow through. dun do things half-f**k, i don't like it.

be a man of your word please.

| Queen Eesther - One Night With The King |

a friend from church sent a mail telling me about the new movie based on the biblical character, esther.

Queen Esther - One Night with the King* talks about faith and the love that the Queen had for her people, so much so she was willing to perish with her people if she did not manage to talk the King round, and if she had not found favor in the eyes of her King.

a woman of God, she displayed bravery, faith and love overcoming all odds.

she is the sort of woman whom we as christians should emulate.

*in cinemas soon

| Haze |

the haze is bad. i have trouble breathing, sleeping and even driving.

maybe i should self-declare a holiday soon. muahahahaha!! - juz kidding

exam is coming, doing past exam papers, it ain't easy.

enrolled for another two subjects in summer sem, and for the entire year in 2007.

will be starting a fortnight after our paper ends in november.

ah, such is the hectic life of a student cum a young working adult.

thank God my boss has been very understanding, he's been a real blessing to me.

all these for a good cause, for a better life, better future, and better prospects.

and my uncontrollable spending is back again.

bought up my mango membership,
bought up my shu uemura membership,
bought up fancl stuff and so easily qualified as their member,
bought alot of other redundant stuff,
went for the Isetan private sale in september,
i do not even want to start counting my total expenditure for the month,
man, i am officially broke...

i need to stop, i need to curb it, i need to stop going to shopping malls!!!

study, hit the books, revise and melt in law......

| Thankfulness |

so many things to be thankful for:

- topping the class in my law assignment
- the cookies which the boyfriend put so much effort in to bake for yours truly
- the fun we had @ sentosa last weekend
- the digicam just bought as well
- the coming exam which will then bring the semester to a close
- landing the boyfriend in a not-so-highly paid job but its something he will enjoy doing
- the care and support my parents have shown
- having an absolution to the boyfriend's finances
- all the simple dishes i've been learning to eat
- my threshold level for pain is getting higher
- the big sista is coming back in less than 3 weeks; she's gonna get married
- my boss is on leave until 25th oct, which means revision is possible @ work...

...and so many more. all i can do is give all glory back to the Lord. =)

| Breaking Free |

starring TLC, with the rest of us who helped build up his childhood fantasy of wanting to be a mer-man, especially JF who did up the beautiful tail.

enough said. just watch it. *lolx

| Day Out @ Sentosa |

so i gave up the zoo for a day @ sentosa with the boyfriend's friends and tried to make the best outta it, so here's the whole bunch of pics and a video which promises to tickle your funny bone.


::on our way into sentosa after everyone was an hour late::


::a nice bridge down to another island with stagnant water and lovely-dovey couples doing "stuff" together in the waters::


::the majority of our time spent @ the beach building this::


::the boyfriend and i::


::where the lovebirds stayed for the night::


::pretty obvious a rush-job huh?::


::our turns @ the fountain::


::then they wanted a pic there too...::


::and then JF got grumpy and asked how come they dun have a shot there::


::so then they had their turns there as well::


::then i got closer to the fountain::


::then the boyfriend got closer to the fountain to be with yours truly::


::and the lovebirds came closer too::

then we went for another luge ride and i freaked out again, thus am not posting any of the pics here.


::then it was time for the lovebirds to hatch some love of their own, we scrammed::

headed to Vivo City because it was just around the corner on mainland. 2 words to describe that place: Big and Empty.

then i was trying the night mode on the new digicam, and for some strange reasons, the pictures kept coming out blur.


::a fine example::

| My Daddy |

to the man i owe the most: my daddy

he's always there when you need someone

a helping hand in times of distress
a shoulder to cry on in times of weariness
a listening ear to any rantings
a big heart always ready to forgive
patient especially to me
you are my gift from God above

behind the fierce front you always had since the day i was your lil girl,
is this gentle man just wanting to be a part of us.

now i understand everything you did, was to make us stronger.
you taught us well,
and we will always bear your advices and teachings in mind.

always there to make sure everything goes right,
what would i ever do without you?

all you've ever wanted was for us to be happy,
all you've ever done was to give us the best,
and you did it.

you've worked so hard for us all,
in all of my being, i will also provide the best for you and mommy.

sure you may have made mistakes in your life,
but who hasn't?

thank you for still being around.

if given a choice, i would still want you to be my daddy.

i love you daddy!

| A Choice |

have to make a choice between a day out @ the zoo, or a fun day @ sentosa, hence am gonna weigh the pros and cons:

zoo:
1) admission is FOC
2) carpark is per entry, therefore can drive there
3) can bring another 3 pple in for free
4) haven't been to the zoo in years though the last time i was there was with the boyfriend
5) we planned this for a long time
6) it might not be easy getting the zoo card again

sentosa:
1) admission is NOT free
2) swim and tan and sleep
3) in the midst of the above, can read up law
4) more fun stuff to do i.e. the luge ride, beach volleyball etc
5) it was a last minute arrangement
6) can have sakae sushi for dinner
7) things there are more pricey

i'm a greedy girl, can i go for both please???

and why does my data keep getting out of range and out of the graph??? *arghz

| Men |

i hate weak men.

and i la-gi hate girls who pamper their men too much that they become weak as a result.

there is a limit to everything, and i mean everything.

as far as i can tolerate, i will.

but yesterday was intolerable. it was the max. i burst.

bad things always come at the same time, God always wants to test our patience and our abilities.

well, i failed the test.

i screamed so loudly and i went straight to attack the intruder.

for years, he had been living off us, my family. even with his $2,000 take-home pay every month, he does not have the audacity to give a lil for his everyday expenses which had been so conveniently taken care of by my parents for so long.

its time you went back to your home, back into reality.

isn't that the reason why you first bought the car? to go home? and now you conveniently turn the tables once again and you're seen in my house even more so than ever.

bullshit.

and what i was pissed about? the laundry.

the sista always does his laundry for him, at the expense of the big sista, mother and myself. and like i said, as far as possible, we try to give in, we try to compromise. but i really couldn't for the last time yesterday.

men. you are suppose to be strong, but as far as i can see, you're nothing but a worthless piece of leech just clinging on to the sista for dear life.

for so long, we let you run free in our house, in our family.

i dun care if what i said hurt his poor feelings, its time you woke up from your fairy tale and GET BACK TO YOUR HOME INTO REALITY!

| Lost |

i'm losing it...even i dunno what to write anymore, even i dunno what else to say anymore...

Lord give us strength

| Army |

precisely 2 years ago on this day, i sent the boyfriend into pulau tekong and bidded farewell to him.

it was the start of the army dayz.

now 2 years later on this very day, he couldn't claim his pink IC.

they still wanna hang on to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well actually it was because the entire department was on leave and therefore there wasn't anyone around to return their pink ID cards to them.

have you ever heard of anything so SPASTIC before?!

| Singapore Idol |

the singapore idol just came to an end and the result sucked.

the emergence of a second 7-11 man.

singapore is blind. definitely.

enough said.

| Chapel of the Holy Spirit |

Chapel of the Holy Spirit @ St. Andrews Village was finally done after 40 months of renovation, and we were there yesterday for our very first service.

after service, there was buffet lunch provided to celebrate returning to our old land. many pictures were taken, and i guess i will only get next week from the photographers.


::our church::


::the stained glass which i missed very dearly::


::a close-up of it - "Not by Might, not by Power, but by My Spirit"::


::my favourite Reverend!::


::as we were leaving, the boyfriend annoyingly took a picture of yours truly::

*all above pictures taken courtesy of my new Nikon CoolPix S5.

| Saturday |

the boyfriend tried his best to cheer me up on saturday. knowing how close to breaking down i was with all the undue stress i was facing at work, at home and at school, he skipped dinner at the captain's house just to accompany me.

i took a major long time deciding what to wear and an even longer time to make-up. i was in super slow mode that day.

but it was well worth the effort.

the boyfriend brought me to have dinner @ sakae sushi because i was craving for the sashimi salad which only sakae does it best. BUT the outlet at Marina Square was sucha letdown. there weren't even purple lettuce and so little salad dressing. *sighz

after dinner, the boyfriend brought me to harvey norman. i was just complaining how little i get to use his digicam and that i was gonna get one my own someday.

and there we were.

i get to keep and use the camera, and the boyfriend is paying half for it. muahaahahaha!!!

it was a good buy, their promotional item that week. i got it for a hundred dollars less, plus loads of stuff thrown into the deal. it was my favourite color - red. it was good, and i was a happy girl on saturday.

when i get home today, i'll upload the pictures we took yesterday and post more stuff. hee =p

| *hAiz |

i have class tomorrow....its so sianz..........*hAiz

| 2 Corinthians |

some learning points to take note of from the Book of 2 Corinthians, 13 chapters, and a recap of things i had previously known:

1) 'Amen' is spoken to the glory of God (1:20)

2) that we should always carry around in our bodies the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus (resurrection) may also be revealed in our body. (2:10)

3) whenever we face so-called hardships, these troubles are light and momentary and are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all (4:17)

4) but in order to receive the eternal glory promised to us, we should fix our eyes not on what is seen (men), but on what is unseen (Jesus). for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (4:18)

5) paul calls us Christians to live by faith and not by sight (5:7)

6) Christ died for all, and therefore all died. and because of Christ's death for all, those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again. (5:14-15)

7) also because of Christ's death on the cross for all, if anyone has Jesus in them, they are a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come (5:17)

8) we are Christ's ambassadors (5:20); people see Jesus in us, and how we behave represents the kind of Jesus we want the world to know. therefore we are called to be reconciiled to God because God wants us to be His righteouness, only through His righteouness can we live right (5:21)

9) paul instructs us believers not to be yoked together with unbelievers. for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? or what fellowship can light have with darkness? what harmony is there between Christ and Belial? what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? what agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? for we are the temple of the living God, God lives in us and our Holy God is not to be defiled with things of this world (6:14-16).

this was also the verse that struck me to stop clubbing because like what my big sista said, light have got no business with darkness.

10) worldly sorrow brings death, but Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret (7:10);

so when i finally get my fair share of Godly sorrow will there the true repentance on my part where the Refiner's Fire will break my worldly desires that is keeping me away from my God

11) chapter 8 talks about giving generously and how Macedonian churches in their extreme poverty still gave themselves first to the Lord in keeping with God's will (8:5) - the grace of giving (8:7)

12) whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. still on the topic of generous giving, Paul urges the giver to give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver (9:6-7). generosity will also result in thanksgiving to God (9:11)

13) last lesson is how Jesus was crucified in weakness, yet He lives by God's power. likewise, we are weak in Him, yet by God's power we will live with Him. (13:4)

so what have you learnt?

| Yeast |

i had wanted to pen this down since 2 weeks ago, but i wanted to make sure i was correct before doing so.

as i was reading 1 corinthians, this passage in chapter 5 came up. it read:

"Don't you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old yeast, the yeast of malice and wickedness, but with bread without yeast, the bread of sincerity and truth."

unleaven bread was commonly used for the celebration of the Passover in biblical times. unleaven bread means bread made without yeast.

paul is depicting yeast like sin, a lil bit of it and it grows bigger and bigger in the dough and even after its baked, yeast still continues growing in your stomach where the cells eventually die at room temperature or if warmer, they literally digest themselves breaking down into smaller components digestable by our body system (http://www.phys.ksu.edu/gene/a1.html).

so when God said yeast is like sin, He's not wrong at all. its a very clever analogy. and then remember Jesus is also the bread of life (John 6:35), all to do with bread, dough, yeast. how very clever!!!

| Romance |

just been to this website with loads of pretty things www.bloomdale.com.sg

when was the last time i received flowers from the boyfriend?

it dated all the way back to.........let's see...........2 years ago when it was the boyfriend's first book-out weekend in the army.

that was an awfully long time....and to think i'm still with a guy who does not know how to romance his girl.

someone teach him please...

| Pissed |

i just called the boyfriend with the mere intention of letting him know how bored i was at work and that i would appreciate his calls and/or sms-es and all i got back was sarcasm.

that was the last thing i needed.

seriously.

the fact that some captain decided to throw some dinner at some restaurant again for the umpteen times on a saturday night was news enough to kill me.

MY weekend.

why can't that captain just save up his money for his old age or something? i'm sure the money will come in handy somehow, why waste it on a bunch of soon-to-be civilian boys?

i'm highly suicidal now.

| Wrath |

the evil one just tried talking to me, pretending to be under the instruction of my boss. oh just leave me alone you disgusting piece of goo.

my presence here have incurred the wrath of countless people, they can't stand the sight of me, and guess what? i can't them either. the feeling's mutual.

spreading rumours. getting everyone to hate me. that's so passe and so primary school. how low-down can you get?

i am so persecuted here at work, how long can i survive?

well like what pat says, its survival of the fittest.

all because of one coupon. bad service is bad service.

i've decided, when i leave this place say in another 24-28 months' time, i will publicly announce my company's name and tell the world how lousy the service is despite it being a multi-national corporation.

as far as i'm concerned, this company has failed in its CRM so miserably, even its internal staff can't wait to slam it down.

always remember, 1 unhappy customer tells 16 other customers who will in turn, tell 16 others and then that's it for your business. chances of revival??? none. its gonna cost you loads of money to change this perception error. its gonna cost so much money, they'd be wise not to offend anyone in the future.

its a cold day. oh and its lunch time already.

| ASSignment |

finally i can say to that, it is finished....

before i rest for the night, do check out the new link on the left column, its a dogster profile thing that i set up for my pup, hee =p

| Politics |

is this the life of a young working adult?

i absolutely detest it.

people here are not your friends, colleagues can never be friends. everyone is just plotting against everyone else and waiting for them to die so that they'd be given your jobs, so that they can feel important too.

childish.

jealousy is the most evil thing in an organisation.

i can't help it if i've got a diploma and you don't. i can't help it if studying and getting a paper cert was not the IN thing during your time like 10-20 years ago. i can't help it if i happen to be closest to the guy second to the number one guy here.

i can't help it!!!

what do these people want with me?

jealousy ain't gonna get you anywhere, work is. so just concentrate on what you're doing and work till you receive the longest-service award!!!

stupid people.

they stab you in the back at every slightest opportunity, one wrong move, you're not careful, you're hit.

argh!!!

the thought of having to work here till i get my degree is SO insufferable!!!!!

| Robbed |

parents left for vietnam yet again just this morning and was robbed. had to call and cancel their credit cards/atm cards/telephone lines etc.

its the first so far.

and hopefully the last.

thank God they weren't hurt in any way, and they left their passports in the hotel.

Father, please keep my parents safe for the next 6 days, in Jesus' name, Amen.

| My Japanese Chin |

::the majestic looking boy::


::look @ his serious face::


::sitting pretty::


::doing what he's best at - eating!::

| Happy 2nd Anniversary to eprincessdiary@blogspot |

| Damn |

i must blog now or i swear i'd die this very minute.

its the boyfriend's ORD dinner tonight with his entire battalion or however big this whole dinner thing is.

i'd been happy for him going for this dinner despite the fact he's still got a whole portion of his assignment undone and if you still remember, deadline's next wed.

but no, he went mad and starting raving.

HULLO, my silence does not mean i'm pissed.

i've been in a trance-like mode the last couple of days, had been stressing/thinking/worrying about my assignment and how i'm definitely gonna be "scoring" when the results get back to me.

because unlike you, i have to work in the day, and i have so much work to do nowadays, i can't even surf the net. its only when my boss goes out for a meeting, then i'd be free to do some work of my own.

plus your thunderous snoring last night killed the majority of my sleep! i even slapped you a couple of times but you'd just stopped for a lil while and come right back in full force!!!

can i help it that i'm so stoned today?

everyone in my office commented how tired and how sick i looked today. did you see how i looked today except in the morning when you were running for the bus with me?

i'm this close to loosing my voice.

you brought this unhappiness on yourself. NOT me. too bad if you dun get to enjoy your dinner tonight. i really don't care anymore.

your words were mean. should have heard yourself just now. rude, vulgar, uncouth, unruly, man i HATE you!!!

| I'm Stuck! |

ok, so here comes the point where i'm officially STUCK at my ASSignment.

anyone with a history of business law, especially with express terms and/or implied terms of a contract, exemption clause, remedies, Trade Practices Act 1974 etc, please call/email/sms me at your earliest convenience.

i am facing a crisis here!!!

| Randoms |

am suddenly so sick of life, i need a break.

ASSignment's due in less than 10 days, time seemed to have flown past the last couple of months. before we know it, exams round the corner.

oh, have i mentioned that exam schedule's gonna be out on sept 11?

work keeps piling up day after day, even i'm so tired of meeting neverending deadlines. everytime my inbox flashes a new mail from my boss, its more work.

then i fell ill.

and am on mc today.

in the midst of very heavy cigarette smell, loud talking and whining, and loud tv sound in the boyfriend's house, and myself illegally tapping on someone else's router, i'm trying to finish up the final question to my ASSignment.

dude, whoever you are, thank you for allowing me access to your unsecured network.

| Never Ever |

i cannot take this any longer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you are so killing me with your nonchalent and your all-so-busy schedule.

even i'm hell of a busy at work, with deadlines after deadlines to meet, and i still take the time to call you.

what about you?!

you laze at home the entire day, with no boss breathing down your neck, and no deadlines to meet, and still a simple phonecall from you is SO difficult.

yesterday was like that, today is still the same.

you never learn your lesson.

just one question: do you still care?

i've been bullied and suffering at work the ENTIRE week and where were you?!

- returning barricades after the AHM
- returning stores
- area cleaning
- lunch @ TP with your buddies
- chatting a whole good 2 hours

you say you've got stuff to do. yeah, go ahead.

i will NEVER attempt to call you again. OR expect anything from you again.

i'm a girl mind you. i've got my pride.

| Hey! |

blogger is down!!! *screams

or so it seems. let's see if this post stays. hmmm...

can't i just rant?!

anyway, was taking a break from doing my law ASSignment the other day and started playing around with photoshop. the boyfriend said i should explore the fonts, and ta-da!

| Big Sista's Grad |

promised i'd do a lil post on my parents' trip to brissy for the big sista's graduation. here it is. someday, i'll be wearing the square hat too. *hee


::the reason why my parents took a 3-week vacation to Down Under::


::the big sista & brudder-in-law::


::mommy dearest::


::papa dearest::


::some rock for you?::


::good boy!::


::@ mount wellington::


::still @ wellington::


::think this was @ mount cradle::


::and this was @ melbourne::

| Juggle |

i have been extremely tired since the week started.

now i have more to cope with - God, work, study, family and pa tor with the boyfriend.

this really ain't easy. i'm SO tired juggling most of the time in the day with work and study and everyone's asking why i look so shagged.

now you know?

| Mine |

| Goodbyes |

just been to rabbi_robin's blog and his farewell speech made me cry.

i hate goodbyes.

just like last night on singapore idol, mathilda da silva got kicked out though she was the ONLY one who could sing. and the fact that she was one of the nice few classmates the second sista had back then in KC whom treated me well, made me even sadder to see her say goodbye to the singapore idol.

what is wrong with singapore?!

You Breathe - Nouveaux

a quiet place, faraway in the centre of my heart
sheltered by the solitutde, like my Daddy's arms
seeking and knowing i will find
rest in these weary eyes
leaving my deepest fears behind
under an endless sky
i lift my heart up high

and Father you breathe, and i hear You whispering
and Your mercy covers me
Father You breathe
and Your presence fills the air
and i find my solace there

here is where peace abides with all that I desire
You lay me down in luscious green to rest when I am tired
Savior You meet me where I am
here on this earthen floor
dying You gave me life again
emptied of all but love
and that would have been enough but

Father You breathe, and i hear You whispering
and Your mercy covers me
Father You breathe
and Your presence fills the air
and i find my solace there

| 17.08.2006 |

i finally found the urge to blog today.

you know i can never fathom the hearts and minds of aunties. despite their age, they still wanna compare and compete with young girls and expect the same treatment from their superiors, and when there's a difference, they explode.

madness.

rabbi_robin left early this morning, didn't have time, or rather, i was too late to say goodbye. but hey, if you ever read this, sorrie i forgot all about wishing you a safe trip and to have loads of fun in the states!

lateness.

i almost knocked down a motorist that day whilst driving in malaysia. it was sucha close shave, just a lil bit more and i would have claimed a man's life. the emotions were hard to hide, as soon as dad took over the wheels, i broke down big time. i almost killed someone. someone almost died that day because of me.

to elaborate more on this point, i'd like to advise all drivers, and to-be drivers to be careful everytime you're behind the wheels. you gotta be extra careful, extra alert, check your blind spot whenever you wanna change lanes and never speed. because when you're on the roads, you owe a duty of care to everyone who's on the roads, and everybody else's lives are part of your responsibility. dun learn driving just because you wanna wear short skirts and be seen at popular places in a car you're driving. and dun learn driving just because you wanna look cool wearing shades behind the wheels. this is LIFE we're talking about. grow up and stop learning if that's what you took up driving for.

carelessness.

for clarification purposes, the post prior to this one about the nail package that i'd unwillingly signed up, actually consists of like 12 pedicure sessions and a couple more other free credits which could be exchanged for other stuff. the package was worth the price but its just that, i wasn't ready to sign something like that, and moreover i didn't have the money to pay the full amount up front, which was what i was trying to complain about but have obviously failed.

*major eyeroll

the big sista and bro sent an email from brisbane just the other day. apparently, the night we went mambo, the big sista called, asked where i were, and dad told them i went clubbing. she said dad sounded upset. actually i knew that he was the night before i left, even though he said cheerfully to have fun and be careful. thus they wanted to gently remind me of the following:

1) light has no business with dark
2) everything we do speaks of Christ - is the Christ we represent one that is compromised? or one that is set apart and holy?
3) and finally, non-Christians (including our non-Christian family members) are always looking out for things to slime us with whether intentionally or on hind sight. we who are saved have a responsiblity to preserve and defend the name of Christ.

though our intentions are innocent, i have to admit that the Christ i represented, had unknowingly been compromised. thus i have decided, i am officially abstaining from clubbing. from now on, its gonna only be clean fun, activities done in the day, or even if its in the night, it shouldn't and will not be those after-dark activities.

and this is a promise i'm willing to make, for my Papa in heaven, and my papa on earth. i only pray that i will not fail.

| I Got Conned! |

ok, so here's how the story goes:

girl goes into manicure shop to check price. girl asks boy if he's willing to wait for an express pedicure, boy don't look too ok, girl thought "ok never mind, will do it another time". boy, as usual, tries to be sweet and says "ok, do it."

girl goes ahead extremely unwilling.

manicurist comes, looks at girl's toes and exclaims, "wah your toes very dry leh, why don't do full pedicure? very fast one, only 45 mins. i'll try to speed up for you." boy goads girl on and says, "ok up to you", (girl is actually waiting for boy to say "NO" but he just didn't understand girl's body language. *sighz).

during the session, manicurist tries to promote extensive range of spa treatment for the toes, (read: JUST for the TOES) with a very nice price tag of $130.00.

ok everyone, you may faint now.

girl tries to tell manicurist she simply does not have time to do stuff like that, but manicurist tries and persists and never gave up. finally, boy and girl stood firm and said no, too pricey for something just for the toes. manicurist gives up, or so we thought.

towards the end of the session, manicurist comes again, this time, to promote something else: their classic pedicure package. oh, the prices of the various packages were lovely, too lovely, i vaguely remembered i had to breathe, i was practically grasping for air!

manicurist was very clever, waited for the boy to be out of sight before she came on poor girl. she persuaded, encouraged, swindled and finally girl could take it no more, she agrees to a bloody $360.00 package!!!

ok, you all may faint again. you may curse too if you wish.

$360.00, what was i thinking???
where was the firm girl in me???
where the the girl who was all so resolved to save money for the future???

she died the minute she signed her credit card away.

thus, i conclude, credit cards are evil, manicurists are even more evil! *sobz

| Festival of Praise |

the annual praise and worship event for christians all over singapore to come together at the Indoor Stadium.

its been about 5 years since i last went, and though i am pretty certain i have never gone with the boyfriend before, he insists that we've gone together once in the early years of our relationship. i guess that must have been real early coz i have no recollection of it whatsoever!

anywayz, attended my first FOP when i was 12, oh God, that happens to be a decade ago!!! i'm like SO old?! oh yeah, i am THAT old already. =(

if my memory didn't fail me, it was the Hillsongs group from Australia leading the worship at that time. they were the ones whom made me fall in love with christian contemporary music at a very tender age. and if i didn't remember wrongly, it was at that event which also made me fall in love with sweet Jesus.

this year was the Christian City Church group, also from Australia, and Don Moen whom is one of the most established song writer and composer for christian music, whether comtemporary music or hymns.

on saturday before we went, i prayed for revival.

the event came and went but everything was still as smooth-sailing as before. and then i think, maybe its not that God didn't wanna give me a revival, but its a question of whether or not my heart is ready for that revival, that awakening. perhaps some where deep inside of me, i dun want that kind of revival because that would mean more functions/events at church, less time for myself, my own sinful desires.

i may have strayed too far away without realising it and now, just wanting to go back alone isn't gonna be good enough. its gonna take alot more than just pure determination. its gonna take a whole new santification process.

i'm gonna be needing lotsa courage especially, to venture into areas i've never been to before.

Father, give me strength.

| Disclaimer |

Disclaimer : This Blog was created entirely for my sole pleasure of writing. It is my web space to rant, rave, scream, and explode. It was not made with any intention to cause hurt, offence, grief, depression or injury to anyone i know or do not know. Any resemblance to actual real-life events, persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Names are not usually mentioned (unless under very rare circumstances), but you will not be stopped if you wish to do self-confessions here. Confrontations/accusations will not be entertained. In short, writing on this web space is MY prerogative!
READ @ YOUR OWN RISK

did you know the disclaimer on my blog could safely, but not totally, remove any duty of care, should anyone, whom after reading feels offended and decides to sue me for tort of negligence?

cool.

and because i do not usually mention names on my blog, i basically do not owe any duty of care to anyone reading it. unless of course the person gets paranoid and thinks he/she is/are the person/pple in question and decides to take me to court.
BUT then they would not have any case in any way because once the courts established the facts that i do not owe any duty of care to anyone, any damages/injuries incurred will not be deemed as foreseeable as far as i'm concerned, and hence the claim will definitely be rejected.

the wonder of law.

| Law |

tort - damage, injury, or a wrongful act done willfully, negligently, or in circumstances involving strict liability, but not involving breach of contract, for which a civil suit can be brought

this word has been coming up alot lately, in fact, ever since we started on our first subject, Business Law two weeks ago.

to be honest, i haven't got the slightest clue as to what is going on and the best part is: ASSignment's out. three questions, due on sept 13 (coincidentally our 5 year 4 months anniversary), 2,500 words.

so i've got approximately a month's time to cough out that amount of law. the number doesn't scare me, i've written alot more crap than that before, but read: its crap and not law, not thesis, not theoretics. which is part of the reason why i'm sitting here typing frantically, hoping to find some light at the end of the tunnel and wriggle my way out, especially since i've just been through the university's database not too long ago, and realised there's LOADS of reading to be done!!! therefore this give me reason enough to start freaking out now!!!!!!!

*screams

i'm SO lost. can anyone help me?

in addition to my freak-outs, my lecturer is this indian guy with a strong native accent, whom i so cannot understand. by the time i'm done deciphering his first sentence, i miss the next and so on.

how can i not worry??? how can i not freak out???

PLUS, what the orientation lecturer said keeps playing in my head: "The (Monash) University's standard will not be compromised".

*screams even louder

i shall try my best to remain calm until i go for my second lesson at the end of this week, and hopefully i'll see the light.

pray for me pple.