| Collage of Russ |

::from me to my big sis & kor in aussie::

p.s you may lick on the pic for a bigger version

| Kittens |

was on my way for driving lesson today when i saw a little baby kitten by the side of the bus stop. it was SO adorable!!!
kittens, like any other young cubs are very trusting. i fear that their innocence and trust for humans and the environment will take advantage of them. the little baby kitten was very playful and very small in size, it was also hungry and was licking the cement floor, oh the poor thing! if only i had more time, i would have ran across to the coffee-shop to get some food to fill its tummy.
its my prayer that humans would have a heart and not abuse helpless animals like them.
i pray that some kind souls would take them in, and care for them as if their own children.
-------------------------
guess what? i made it for my advance theory test! three cheers for me? i freaked out when i saw the envelope lying on my table when i got home last night. didn't dare open, and nobody was willing to open it for me, so i had to pluck all the courage that i had, and slowly opened it myself. *drum roll* i made it i made it!!! no more stupid blue book!!!! *lalalalalala*
but i must praise Big Papa for His grace. the results go to Him!

| Record |

just realised the amount of clothes i have in my wardrobe, and yet i am still buying nevertheless. just a rough count, i have:

5 pairs of Levi's jeans
2 Levi's skirts
2 Guess pants
2 Guess tops
4 Morgan de toi bottoms
at least 10 Morgan de toi tops
at least 20 tops and bottoms from Victoria Secrets
countless tops from Mango
countless tops from Topshop
i shan't go into how many pairs of heels/shoes/sandals i have from Charles and Keith, and the other brands of clothing that are sitting in my wardrobe.

and therefore i have:
1. Mango Privilege Card
2. Topshop F3 Card
3. Club Levi's Card
4. Charles & Keith Privilege Card
5. Tannlines Privilege Card
6. Soo Kee Diamond Card
7. G2000 advantage Card

amazing isn't it? the amount of money spent in order to be a privilege card holder, i'm disgusted by my spendthrift nature.

| Princess and her Days |

Princess is keeping her promise,
abstaining from VS.
Princess wants to go to Sentosa,
when will i get the chance to go?
Princess is going to aussie in july,
but her Prince will not be joining her. *pouts*
Princess has a facial appointment with mommy dearest,
she can't wait!
Princess feels unappreciated at work,
wondering when will resignation be a reality?
Princess is feeling down and missing her Love,
when are [you] coming out to take me away?
Princess sux at driving,
when will she get her license?
Princess needs a break,
a break from LIFE.
Princess keeps fantasizing about a long long vacation,
will i ever have the chinks to do that?
Princess wants to be on the top of the highest mountain shouting her lungs out,
and then she'll be happy.
Princess wants to go clubbing too,
when was the last time she did that?
Princess wants to go back to school to be a student again,
or her brains will turn rusty.
Princess wishes to play with snow,
to have it melting in her warmth.
Most importantly,
Princess is going to have her 4th anniversary with her Love - her Prince @ Conrad Centennial Singapore this long may day weekend.

| Dun Understand |

warning to all readers: this post may or may not be directed at you. please do not get unneccessarily paranoid and do self-confessions here thinking i am aiming at a particular someone. do yourself and yours truly a favour, respect yourself and respect my blog space, i just want to write, thank you very much.

got many stuff to blog about, but dunno where to begin. am disturbed by many things i've read around me. mostly about love.

third party. indecisiveness. confusion. dilemma. doubt.
one should fight for their own happiness.
but what if its at the expense of another person?
ethically, issit right?
or assuming you fight for the one only to realise it was never meant to be?
so outta confusion, you choose to leave your current love, and remain single,
hoping this action will justify your "decisiveness"?
it doesn't.
not only you will live in constant turmoil and guilt, you'll probably never be able to rationalise the reason for your screwed up love life.

is your status as 'single' just a temporary diversion to let others know you did take a break to think things through? eventually choosing the one with novelty? well that's my guess.

like i said, i'm disturbed. why do people do this? i mean, why can't they be faithful to the one they first loved? does practicality really affect one's relationship? doesn't fairy tale exist in this world anymore? at least it still does to me. where is commitment?

its not right for you to leave someone in search of "greener pastures". if you decide to play with fire, and yet lucky enough to still have a spare tyre waiting for you, what's gonna happen when you get burnt? run back to your spare tyre? ridiculous! self-seeking if you ask me. noble on the part of the spare tyre, but selfish on your part. it's not even any form of love because love is "never selfish" (cor 13:5).

i'm so mad i dunno what else i can say! people just don't have anymore regards for fellow humans! its so sad to be here witnessing all these misery happening, i just dun understand!

| Driving |

pat got her license yesterday, or was it the day before?
i'm real proud of her, especially since its her own money.
way to go gal!

well, for me? i just started.
yesterday was my first driving lesson and i miraculously managed to move the car, ha! pretty cool though i must say i was a nervous wreck!
"your shoulders are too stiff, relax!" the one sentence my instructor kept repeating. i'm trying here, it ain't easy alright? but i did have fun. *smilez*

today was my final theory test, or otherwise known as advance theory test. dunno how i did, had no confidence on my part, maybe because it was too technical, i had a hard time understanding the entire book on the mechanism of the vehicle.
anyhow, its over. and no matter how i keep thinking about it, i can only pray that i make it through cos i dun wanna re-study that stupid blue color book again.
before i started the test, i lifted it up to the Lord and asked for His divine wisdom. somehow i knew the answers, and i knew how to do. BUT if its gonna be like the 2 mock tests that i did yesterday which i thought i knew how to do, then i would definitely have to face that stupid blue color book!

tomorrow is my next lesson. sounds like i'm rushing huh? maybe i am. procrastinated way too long. a license that i was suppose to have 3 years back, but because of the fun i had back then in school, i put it on hold. well now, if i dun buck up, my dad's gonna be real disappointed.
guess i'm afraid i'll stop halfway. i'm afraid i'll procrastinate again and drag myself down again. i must overcome this fear for driving, i must i must i must!

| Hormones Stabilised |

honestly, i'm getting quite bored thinking of a blog title everytime i need to let out some frustrations. so in the meanwhile, it shall be some unrelated crap.

my lil sister-in-law has started a blog on her own. my oh my, kids these days, really high-tech huh? or am i simply just getting old?

last weekend was so lovely, loved every minute of it even though i turned nasty to my darling at certain points in time. due mainly to the monster called PMS. *shrugz*

its a luxury being able to cramp at home i tell you. its been months since i last had the comfort of my bed. totally appreciative of my little pillows and bolsters, teddy bears and even my warm comforter.

bosses are outta town for the entire week, until friday afternoon that it. meanwhile, its freedom to the ears and eyes for me even though i'll still be confined to this area in their absence.

biscuit finally got her wish and was let off from duty as of last friday. as for me, i'll see how long i can hang on in this place.

my dearest got me a surprise - a bottle full of carefully hand-picked seashells.

::so sweet, i almost melted at the sign of his gesture::

friday night, we went for dinner at the beach, and took a slow walk through what we call "twlight zone" and finally reached the resort where we realised how long we had taken because most of the shops were already closed.
that walk made me reminisce and appreciate everything that i am today. from the time of our very first date until today, it made me hold dearie even tighter and closer to me. the love of my life, my family, and the honour of knowing my Big Daddy, i felt warmth.

did some retail therapy on saturday AGAIN. wonder when will i ever stop??? i need to save money for my aussie trip, which by the way, is confirmed. will be leaving in mid-july, for about a week. i know i'll miss my baby loads, but i need to get outta of this place for awhile or i'll go crazy! maybe i'd previously been too pampered by my parents leaving the country at least once annually. but at least this time round, i'll be paying most of the stuff myself, so i guess its fine?

my advanced theory test is this thursday. my first prac lesson will be this wednesday. and i'm FREAKING out! *screaming*

and i'm heading for home now. *yay*

p.s shhhhh...just between us huh? *tongue sticking out*

| Colleagues |

haven't posted any pics for the longest time, so here!


::did this on Paint, impressed? it wasn't on Photoshop ok?!::

oh oh, and my advanced theory is just NEXT WEEK! *screaming* i hope i make it through. *keeping fingers, toes, hands and legs crossed*

| Ponders |

sometimes i wonder what is the point of working? for me, work is getting aimless. issit experience that we gain? is money our main motivator? what issit exactly that we are hoping to get outta our work? pay increment? bonus? promotion? beats me. *shrugz*

after working close to a year, i start to question the crux of working. money, the root of all evil, yet without it, its almost painful. i guess pple work for money, how many actually work for passion? what is passion when you need to eat and pay the bills? it's nothing when you talk about the practicalities of our high-living expenses in today's world.

pay day is the most satisfying day of the month. it becomes more gratifying when you are able to splurge on branded and expensive clothes, accessories, food, entertainment and the what-nots.
and yet you become almost depressed when you realised you're pretty close to your credit card's daily spending limit.

sigh.

in less than 2 hours, i had already signed my credit card for:
1. a diamond necklace
2. a morgan top and pants
3. biotherm's powder foundation
4. dinner at magic wok

and now i'm beginning to regret it.
yah, guess that's what i wanna say.

| ME |

i think alot,
i care too much.
i have an opinion in every little thing that comes to my knowledge.
there was never one person who could understand me,
until i found [him].
[he] understands me more than myself,
[he] knows me better than i know myself.
and every minute of my waking hours,
i thank God for [him].

maybe if i knew less things, there would be lesser thoughts.
maybe if i didn't care so much, there wouldn't be so much trouble.
maybe if i could practice a little self-control,
and not let my thoughts run freely,
i would be able to keep more friends.

but this is [ME], yours truly.
whether you guys like it or not,
whether you can accept me for what i am or not,
whether you can accept me for who i am or not,
regardless of what you think,
this is [ME].

i am not on this earth to live up to anybody's expectations,
i am always [myself].
i never follow rules,
i only play by my rules.
this is [ME].
period.

| Christianity |

i think many people have this misconception with Love, God and Christianity.

a friend gave up the guy she loved simply because he wasn't in the light of the Lord. letting someone go, breaking up with the one you love because that person is not a christian, is a backslider, is not a man or woman after God's heart, in my opinion, is wrong. do not give the blame to God when the world fails to give you your expectation. accusing God and failure to give Him glory is an even greater sin.

maybe i have no right to talk about people this way, but its just my few cents' worth.

the couple, both are christians. the guy just returning to the Lord after backsliding for awhile, and the girl, who just got to know God, is therefore definitely on fire for the Lord. the guy, when in comparison to the girl, has failed to lead and guide her to the Lord, a break-up surfaced. her reason being, "its the man who should lead and guide the woman", yes God did say that in the Bible, but Jesus's specific instructions right after his death, just before he returned to the Father was to "make disciples of all nations" (matthew 28:19). Jesus didn't just instruct the males to evangelise, his instructions were to every single christian, regardless of whether you are a guy or a girl. evangelising, spreading the gospel and helping a certain brethen to know the Lord, or let him come back to the Lord doesn't just fall on the guys' shoulders, its every boy and every girl's destiny.

my point is, just because the guy is not able to lead and guide you for now, doesn't mean he wouldn't be able to do so when he has matured in the Lord. giving him up at this crucial point will only cause him more hurt and grief in the Lord instead of helping him return to Him. the poor guy would be questioning and wondering, and end up hating and grudging against God. what has the guy learnt? nothing.

serving the Lord. you mean to say only singles can serve God? couples can't serve God in their own special way? rubbish. i know of this couple in my church who serves God together, they serve God by being back-up singers to the worship leader. how about ushering? you can do it together. your service to the Lord is not whether its significant or not, big or small. its the heart that counts.

surrendering to the will of God. yes i agree we as humans are weak, and need the power and healing grace of the Father, surrendering to His will is only right. it is unless you heard God's soft voice yourself, saying this relationship with so-so is wrong and will hurt you in the long run, then i wouldn't have anything else to say. but did God say those words to you? i'm sure He didn't. because clearly God said, the only thing he has given us in this life, is freewill. freewill means that God doesn't force you to do anything against your will, but rather, you choose to do it on your own accord.

as to the man leading and guiding the woman, i believe is in context with married couples, meaning husbands and wives. God did say a man is to guide and lead his wife, and wives are to obey and submit to their husbands, just like Christ is the head of the church, husbands are the head of the family (ephesians 5:22-33).
i haven't conformed to the world even though i admit i am guilty of it sometimes. God's words last forever, this i know. heaven and earth will pass away, but God's words will never pass away (luke 21:33). and beware of religious leaders and pastors, authorities placed over us, that they may not give wise advices, for who can fathom the wonder, wisdom and mysteries of the Lord? (job 9:10, 11:7; psalms 145:3) no one. not even these religious leaders. so never trust men, only trust in God and His holy words.

"his basis of his christianity is on me, not on his love for the lord". why don't you look at it that you may be the only means of him returning to the Lord? the basis of daniel's religion is also on me, but over the past 4 years, he has learnt to love God on his own, he has learnt and seen the Lord work in his individual life and he has believed His power. the one reason why you haven't been able to totally let go is probably because somewhere deep inside, you know that wasn't the best way out.

'Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for life'. same logic. i rest my case.

| Broken Nail |

i broke my toe nail on friday! *cries* it was extremely painful and i cried because i was all alone at home when that happened. i have this gruesome picture of my broken and bloody nail that i took that night, but i'll hang onto the pic for awhile before grossing pple out. *lolz*

its much better now, but half the toenail is gone, which means half my skin is exposed. its still red and sore. *sobs* and i even had to do a mini operation myself because only i would know better where to cut and where not to cut.

oh my poor toe......

| Last Week |

was on leave last week because i had a few commitments and dear's open house was one of 'em:


::smart & sweet huh?::

::biscuit said i was super retro *heh*::

::his buddy jianyi came along too::

::i like this pic though i think i look fat *pouts*::

and last weekend, i whipped up a feast for dear's family, and they enjoyed it thoroughly as much as i had enjoyed cooking it. *smilez*


::action...like real..*sniggers*::

::fish & chips close-up *lolz*::

| Home |

dearie is here to pick me up from work, and i wanna go home NOW! *screaming*

| My First Short Video Clip |

*winkz*

| Timeless |

so much stuff to type, gosh! seemed to have lost track of time! this week would be a short week for me because i'm on halfday leave today and tomorrow because i've got stuff on both afternoons, and Good Friday is a public holiday, in short, this week is short. *grinz*
last week, we were invited to York Hotel for their famous Penang Hawker's Food Fair, and guess what? it was on the house, heh! but i must say it was good, the food were authentic, just like what you would find in Penang or KL itself. the buffet pricing was a little steep though, but i guess all under one roof, air-conditioning, well worth the money. *winkz*


::managed to only catch one pic for the entire time i was there, argh!::

thereafter, we had a little tour round the hotel and were invited to see some of their rooms. it wasn't too bad.


::that's biscuit in one of the rooms::

::yours truly in one of the bathrooms *heh*::

::and in the night, my boy was entitled to his well-deserved night's off because of another gold for his ippt::

then last weekend, like all other weekends, were filled with love. *hee* met my boy on saturday afternoon because he had live firing in the morning. went for his buddy's birthday celebration kinda thing @ fish & co. which reminds me, i don't have any pics on that. *oops*
but i do have some pics on what we were up to at the silly neoprint stand last wednesday night. *lolz*


::our couple keychain from levi's, cute huh?::

::this is what's in my keychain::

::and this is what's in his keychain *blush*::

oh oh and guess what we did on sunday night since my boy only had to book-in on monday morning? yours truly became his hairstylist. *tongue sticking out*


::nice nice??? *chuckles*::

| Palm Sunday |

yesterday was Palm Sunday or also known as Sunday of the Passion. it follows Jesus' last week on earth, from his glorious entry as King into Jerusalem on that Sunday until Friday where He was humiliated, suffered and nailed to the cross for the forgiveness of the World.
this week is known as the Holy Week. i urge you to reflect upon the entire chapter of Isaiah 53, for Jesus' suffering was foretold way before in the Old Testament:

Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken.
He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
After the suffering of his soul,
he will see the light of life and be satisfied ;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.

in Psalm 22, Jesus' pain and cries were spoken of by the psalmist, which reminds me of yesterday's entry of the Daily Bread. it taught us how we should "make Jesus the Lord of our lives by bowing to His authority as King." in it also spoke of how we should not be "like the man who claimed to be a Christian but still chose to live in sin."
there, daily bread for the soul!

May all that i am, honour Your Holy Name,
May all that i do, bless Your Holy Name,
May all that i say, glorify Your Holy Name,
For your Name is the Name above all names,
King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, Amen!

| Movie Mania |

these are the 3 movies i wanna catch no matter what!
aim: by the end of this week
*hint hint*



*laughz sheepishly*

| Friendships |

all my life, i've tried to be as good a friend as i possibly could to others.
i don't dare claim success because i've been told i could never keep friends.
here and there, there will be some people who'd walk in and outta my life.
but who can i really call a friend?
issit someone who always calls you up to chat?
issit someone who makes it a point to chat with you on MSN or on YM?
issit someone who meets up with you once in a while?
issit someone who tries to believes you but can never really trust you?

i guess what i'm really trying to say is that,
friendships never fail to get me in a fix.
maybe its because i'd always had a soft spot for them.

friendship needs effort, and friendship takes two to clap.
friendship isn't one-sided, and most importantly, friends should always have the time to drop a simple note, even a simple 'hi' makes hellva difference.

if i had to betray someone in order to get both my good friends to believe me,
what good are those friendship?
there was never trust in the beginning, then how will the future be like?
its ok to take sides, i admit i did too.
but there was no trust, there was never trust.
once again, disappointment.

so now, i'll relinquish all hopes of friendship,
i'll never hope another friendship to last,
because i don't believe in friendships anymore,
except for Jesus' and mine.
He'll always be my best Friend.

| Monotonous |

a friend's mom is unwell, i'm keeping her in prayer.
my parents are finally back from their trip, oh how i missed them!
my pup's the world happiest dog since their return.


::finally sleeping peacefully::

last night was my boy's night's off, which meant he got to stay out till this morning where he booked in before 9am.
we went to the neoprint shop in far east plaza last night, we felt ancient in there. *lolz* couldn't understand how those machines work, and we couldn't figure it out, so we got something really funny in the end.

i booked my final theory test this morning, it'll be next month. my practical will be starting next month too. i've got new commitments now, and i can't fool around anymore. *pouts* i already paid up for 10 lessons, so i'm officially broke. nah i'm kidding, my parents are financing.

last weekend while i was out with my boy, i had a major retail therapy session. got my adidas sports watch (its red in color), bought an adidas spectacle box (also red in color), got a new pair of shades from topshop, a slighter more tinted brown one which will help me look more mature (i'm still mistaken by so many pple that i'm a poly undergrad?! *shrugz* guess i can't help it either when i just look so young). got 2 prezzies for dear's friend and his lil sista, and lastly, my levi's ladies classic jeans. been wanting to get rid of my club levi's cash voucher, so i took the opportunity and got my pair for less than $150. good buy i must say. *winkz* oh and my most pricey merchandise of the month: my Victoria Secret's. still waiting for my package to arrive though, and as promised dear, i'll fast from Victoria Secret's for at least 3 months.

and oh hey, new word i just learnt from my lady boss: INSINUATE. meaning provoking gradual doubt or suspicion; suggestive: insinuating remarks.
maybe i should help explain this word by giving a couple of examples. appropriate usage of this word should only be in the following:
1. when you insinuate someone, it means that you've never once, given him/her the benefit of doubt; meaning you've always doubted, suspected and was even certain that he/she did commit a crime or unforgivable act against you, even though he/she may have already clarified matters with you. "someone is insinuating me!" - this means that someone's been accused and i absolutely despise people who accuse others without any grounds.
2. there were some rather insinuating remarks about someone, and that person is upset.
3. insinuation occurs when you gradually and insidiously try to suggest, and plant wrong ideas about a particular person into other people's mind.

see, better understanding now? this word ain't so hard after all. heh, will see what other new words i come across and i'll definitely share them when i have the time! man i feel like a teacher already, ha!