| Christianity |

i think many people have this misconception with Love, God and Christianity.

a friend gave up the guy she loved simply because he wasn't in the light of the Lord. letting someone go, breaking up with the one you love because that person is not a christian, is a backslider, is not a man or woman after God's heart, in my opinion, is wrong. do not give the blame to God when the world fails to give you your expectation. accusing God and failure to give Him glory is an even greater sin.

maybe i have no right to talk about people this way, but its just my few cents' worth.

the couple, both are christians. the guy just returning to the Lord after backsliding for awhile, and the girl, who just got to know God, is therefore definitely on fire for the Lord. the guy, when in comparison to the girl, has failed to lead and guide her to the Lord, a break-up surfaced. her reason being, "its the man who should lead and guide the woman", yes God did say that in the Bible, but Jesus's specific instructions right after his death, just before he returned to the Father was to "make disciples of all nations" (matthew 28:19). Jesus didn't just instruct the males to evangelise, his instructions were to every single christian, regardless of whether you are a guy or a girl. evangelising, spreading the gospel and helping a certain brethen to know the Lord, or let him come back to the Lord doesn't just fall on the guys' shoulders, its every boy and every girl's destiny.

my point is, just because the guy is not able to lead and guide you for now, doesn't mean he wouldn't be able to do so when he has matured in the Lord. giving him up at this crucial point will only cause him more hurt and grief in the Lord instead of helping him return to Him. the poor guy would be questioning and wondering, and end up hating and grudging against God. what has the guy learnt? nothing.

serving the Lord. you mean to say only singles can serve God? couples can't serve God in their own special way? rubbish. i know of this couple in my church who serves God together, they serve God by being back-up singers to the worship leader. how about ushering? you can do it together. your service to the Lord is not whether its significant or not, big or small. its the heart that counts.

surrendering to the will of God. yes i agree we as humans are weak, and need the power and healing grace of the Father, surrendering to His will is only right. it is unless you heard God's soft voice yourself, saying this relationship with so-so is wrong and will hurt you in the long run, then i wouldn't have anything else to say. but did God say those words to you? i'm sure He didn't. because clearly God said, the only thing he has given us in this life, is freewill. freewill means that God doesn't force you to do anything against your will, but rather, you choose to do it on your own accord.

as to the man leading and guiding the woman, i believe is in context with married couples, meaning husbands and wives. God did say a man is to guide and lead his wife, and wives are to obey and submit to their husbands, just like Christ is the head of the church, husbands are the head of the family (ephesians 5:22-33).
i haven't conformed to the world even though i admit i am guilty of it sometimes. God's words last forever, this i know. heaven and earth will pass away, but God's words will never pass away (luke 21:33). and beware of religious leaders and pastors, authorities placed over us, that they may not give wise advices, for who can fathom the wonder, wisdom and mysteries of the Lord? (job 9:10, 11:7; psalms 145:3) no one. not even these religious leaders. so never trust men, only trust in God and His holy words.

"his basis of his christianity is on me, not on his love for the lord". why don't you look at it that you may be the only means of him returning to the Lord? the basis of daniel's religion is also on me, but over the past 4 years, he has learnt to love God on his own, he has learnt and seen the Lord work in his individual life and he has believed His power. the one reason why you haven't been able to totally let go is probably because somewhere deep inside, you know that wasn't the best way out.

'Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for life'. same logic. i rest my case.