::busy at work::

been busy the past 2 days at work, today is no exception. but decided i have to sqeeze in a little time to update my blog. so here i am.
today is wednesday, which brings me closer and closer to my baby's first book-out on friday night, hee *all smiles*
but the thing that is really bothering me right now is my birthday party. wanna book a chalet but seems that all the chalet i had in mind are all already fully taken? so i'm left with the normal ones like costa and the what-nots. i was thinking, if i can't get my desired chalet, i'd probably just not have a party? *sigh* everything's not confirmed yet, my boyfriend's mom is also helping me to scout, so guess i'll just see how everything goes. because i totally forgotten my birthday falls on the school holidays where all the little wanna-be punks are all getting ready to show off their best beachwear and bikinis which they had been hiding in their wardrobe during the past one year, just waiting for this one chalet to fulfill all their childhood fantasies. and not forgetting that they are in their "prime" of their lives, not reaching full puberty yet and still wanna show-off their under-developed assets. *eeeewwww* amazing. that aside, i already drew up my invitation list liao, decided on what cake to get (my all-time favourite Lana chocolate cake! i've been like eating that since my 2nd birthday, and i'll never get sick of it! trust me), how many kg and scouting for food caterers as well, argh! i'm be so damn upset if i don't get what i want! *throwing tantrums* alright, i shall behave like a grown-up, i am after all, gonna be one soon. hee *trying hard to hide my real age* i mean i don't wanna make-do with things, i don't wanna compromise, i don't wanna do something if its gonna be looking like the norm. get it? wish me luck on getting my desired chalet ok or no party for all you nice pple reading my blog. hee ;p

::its hard to be away from you::

i thought this poem was rather well written, so i decided to rip it *tongue sticking out*, but at least i acknowledge the author's work? alright alright, no excuse i know, but i don't usually do this, just that i thought it says it all. so here, enjoy. ;p

So many of my thoughts
are of you.
Each night when the world
is quiet and still,
your smile
and the wonderful moments
we have shared
crowd my mind.
Then i find myself missing you even more...

Each day, as i go about my routine,
you slip gently into my thoughts
and make me smile.
I wonder what you are doing,
trust that everything is going well,
and hope that you miss me too.
It's hard to be apart,
because i care so deeply about you,
but please know that
you are an important part of my life.

Though we can't be together right now,
we are together
in our thoughts and memories.
I am here,
with all my heart,
looking ahead to that time
when i can see you
and be with you again. ~ B.L McDaniel

:own creation::

Under the same sky,
Under the same stars,
Under the same moon,
There we’ll meet.

Under the same clouds,
Under the same sun,
Under the same atmosphere,
There we’ll meet.

Breathing the same air,
I feel you.
Sleeping under the same sky,
I feel you.
And it’s only in wonderland,
That I can hold you.

I miss you,
Yes I still do.
I need you,
Yes I still do.
I love you,
Yes I still do.

Please hurry home,
For missing you is getting more unbearable.
Please hurry home,
For waiting is getting endless.
Please hurry home,
For I miss you so. ~ PrincessWylyn

::visiting day::

it was a fantastic day today! *all smiles* everything went well, and smoothly, and it was just great! saw my baby for the first time all bald and well-shaven, haha! i couldn't help it and burst into laughter when he came out of the line and wrapped his hand around my waist like he always does. my baby looks like this now. hee

doesn't he just look cute? he was delirious with joy, all of the boys in tekong were, they've been waiting for this parents-and-girlfriends' visiting day since enlistment, and today signifies 6 more days to their first book-out. *counting counting*
he has been eating chicken meat in camp since forever, he's just so sick of it, thus my choice to make him grilled fish proved a wise choice. *smug smile* hee and needless to say, he thoroughly enjoyed all my food. *shy smile*
anyway, took a couple of pictures with him as well, below are just 2 of the best.

in the canteen after finishing up all the food i made him.

and this was taken outside his bunk. don't i look good in the cap as well? hee

::screwed up::

i've been busy all day surfing the net, looking for a webhost who could host free mp3 for me while i attach it with my blog. argh! as you can see, i return empty-handed. *boo hoo* but i've got tips from thedoll, and i'll probably try that out when i'm free and home. coz i've got a whole day packed tomorrow! hee. let me tell you what's gonna happen tomorrow, or rather, from tonight onwards:
1. i'm gonna be meeting one of deardear's bud later, who will accompany me to get my levi's skirt. hee. the new lady's classic. gorgeous. *eyes twinkling*
2. thereafter, i would have to rush, no, let me re-phrase, the word is "fly" back home coz i gotta prepare yummy food for my baby tomorrow.
3. his visiting time tomorrow is like 8.30am *gosh* so i'm gonna be meeting his mom at 8am at his house.
4. oh by the way, i took the day off tomorrow, so i basically have the whole day to myself.
5. after tekong, i'll either go home to change, or go straight, to meet my friend for a tim-sum buffet. *yummy* another pigging session. hee. ;p
6. and lastly, i'll have a hairstylist waiting for me in town, coz its about time i have a new look? ha! so hopefully it won't be a disaster, and that i won't look like the joke of the week? heh!
7. still trying to decide if i should go club with biscuit and company later in the night? at devil's they were saying..but they're meeting real late at like 12mn? madness, needless to say, my mom will KILL me! so i think i'll be safter off in her house, on my bed, in my room. hee.
oh, and wanna know what the menu is tomorrow for my baby? here's what:
a) herbal tea, a MUST!
b) appetizer would be ocean chef salad with loads of already-peeled prawns (knowing him, he will NEVER eat anything that needs peeling), crabmeat, lettuce (duh!) and carrots (also duh!)
c) main dish would be grilled dory fish topped with some nice special sauce (shhh secret recipe!), with fries, brocolli and cauliflower & carrots
heathy enough? don't want him to fall sick, so after many intensive discussion with my mom, she said these would be the best choices. alright, wish me fun, happiness and no-tears ok? ciao!

::flip side of song::

oh guess what? my whole office is crazy over this korean song and mtv, we're like so hilarious! we found the english translated version of the song lyrics, and we're like passing the mtv, mp3 and the lyrics around the whole office. and now i know why the girl walked away. here's why:

***Because I'm a Girl by KISS (MTV Translation)***
i just can't understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you and then they leave you

this is the first time,
"you're special"
i believed those words
and i was so happy

[chorus]
you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but i couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything

i heard that if you give up things too easily to a man,
he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong

a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again
[chorus]
you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but i couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything

i heard that if you give up things too easily to a man
he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong

a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again
[chorus]
you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but i couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl to whom love is everything

don't take advantage of a girl's willingness
to do anything for love and her caring instinct

i didn't know that to be born as a girl
and to be loved was so hard

although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything

[female narration]
we parted today
you said you wanted me to be happy
and find a better person than you
you're just like every other man
didn't you tell me you loved me?
when im hurting so much,
so much i want to die when i still love you so much...

don't take advantage of a girl's willingness
to do anything for love and her caring instinct

i didn't know that to be born as a girl
and to be loved was so hard

although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything
although i will curse you, i'll still miss you
because i am a girl, to whom love is everything

[male narration]
there is a girl i love
although i can't be with her right now
but i will always love her

it was because the guy didn't want her? it was because he didn't want her to take up the burden of having to look after a diabled person. it was because he wanted her to find a better guy, so that she'll be happier. but do you honestly think the girl will be happier with another guy? no, she wants you! and if you only knew how much she's longing to be with you, you wouldn't push her away. love isn't a thing where you can just easily give it up or give it away. if you love someone, tell them! don't keep it and expect them to know. love isn't about gussing games. if you really love them, pluck up your courage and tell them so that they can choose if they'd wanna be with you or not. if not, sadly, your life will have an un-erasable regret.

::regrets::

i'm still very affected by the mtv. regrets. ever since i could remember, my motto was to live life to the fullest, and never regret. never live to regret, because it just defeats the whole purpose of living. ok, makes sense. but why, when emotions are involved, there are bound to be regrets? i dun understand.
now i'll be talking in context with the mtv. don't you think that girl should have called out to her so-called lover in the end when she finally figured out he was the one who gave her the new pair of eyes? i mean comon, even if she doesn't love the guy anymore, she could still acknowledge him out of gratitude. he did, after all, give her his pair of eyes you know? was it because she felt that she was too indebt to him, there was just no way she could have be with him? or was it because she didn't want to take up the burden and responsiblity of looking after a blind man? true, it'd be quite a task. but if you really love the guy, would you mind? or would she rather be with her's ex-lover's assistant because obviously its the easiest way out? why? what was the reason that made her walk away from him in the end? if she was mad at the photographer for not visiting her at the hopsital to celebrate her recovery, or that he didn't look her up, then she would have realised in the end that as much as he wanted too, he couldn't because he was already blind. what else could it have been? was it because, after such a long time, she and the assistant had already started another relationship and there was no way she could have been with the photographer again because she was so filled with guilt and remorse, she knew she had let him down in every way possible? perhaps. maybe we'll never know. i hardly even know the title of the song, let alone the meaning of it all. but it has such a big impact on me. *silent sob*
why must life be filled with regrets? issit even possible for you to "live life to the fullest" and have no regrets? is love fair to both parties? let's talk about..maybe a love triangle. if this couple have been together for quite awhile, and they are very loving to each other. suddenly this girl comes into the relationship, and the guy is shaken because he has been touched by her many little actions. the poor girlfriend doesn't know abt it, coz if she knew, her heart would break. and yet this guy is struggling between his love for his girlfriend, and the possibility of letting the potential love-of-his-life go. i understand where the guy is coming from. he may be letting go true happiness, and in his life, there would be this major regret of giving up the chance of not trying? sounds reasonable. but what about his present girlfriend? she has given her all to him, and she loves her boyfriend whole-heartedly but if she ever finds out, i'm not so sure if she'll forgive her boyfriend, and continue being with him. love triangle like these occurs everyday i'm certain. and how do the people involved come to terms with it? sad. enough said. maybe someone can enlighten me?

::korean mtv::

sometimes in life, when you love too much, you give too much, but in the end, you're left with nothing. not even the person you love, not even your eyes. the below korean mtv depicts it well. link that up to enjoy a good cry. *starts crying again*
Kiss - Because I am a Woman

::dear's blog::

just been to my dear's blog, and realised that i'm not as great as he made me out to be. "her language and layout could really put my blog down" nonsense. i think my dear's site is a fantastic one, i really do. it has all his priceless moments, whether its about his work, friends, or me. i dropped a tear when i saw his last entry, just days before his enlistment. yah i'm missing him again..every minute of my waking hours. and all along, i've been so caught up with missing him, i forgot he's been missing me as well. it was only last night that i realised that he does too, even more if i may add. he asked me to take a self-portrait on my mobile and send it to him last night. and he was so excited when he received it. i asked him why and he said, for the first time in the past week, that it was because he missed me. warmth just gushed into my body even as i was in the freezing train. and tears almost filled my eyes again. a sense of guilt at that moment. i've been too selfish. everything's always been about me, never him. how could i, his dearest, neglect how he's been feeling? guilty as charged.
so i've decided, to be more selfless now. to be more understanding, more patient and more accomodating, and most of all, show him all the love my little heart can give.

::self-penned poetry::

as i lay on my bed,
thoughts of you cloud my head.
this has been, by far,
the longest we've been apart.
i miss you.

i miss you more,
in the still of the night.
i long to be in your arms,
i long to feel your breath,
i long to feel your warmth,
i long to be next to you again.

but alas,
time is moving near.
as i dry my tears,
time is moving closer,
to the day i'll see you again. ~ PrincessWylyn

alright, i know this poem isn't good work, not even close to average. but at least its self-penned, and i think i've fully expressed my thoughts. so enjoy...or not...

::tuesday::

i feel quite sick blogging these days, dunno why. true it takes time off for me, and it can be quite entertaining sometimes, but then maybe its because many posers are also blogging at the same time, it just seems strange blogging anymore. its like they try too hard, and i can't help but break into laughter sometimes. i'm trying not to be critical, and obviously i can't name those people. but seeing the amount of "effort" they put it, they dun realise it actually shows their lack of identity? its pathetic. dunno how many of you agree with me, but if copying or imitating is all they do, then, what is the point of blogging? try originality, it works sometimes you know? and in your blog, you try to be someone you're actually not, then who exactly are you? yes i agree that in life, there are ups and downs, and everyone is entitled to pen however they are feeling, but if you're writing something out of context, a character totally not yourself, it makes readers wonder, what sort of person are you? don't be afraid to be yourself, don't be afraid to unmask yourself. everyone has their own beauty, and own intelligence, and its definitely not about imitating or copying someone else. think about it pple.

::monday @ work::

you know something? my parents, especially my mom, has decided to stop me from going out at night, because my boyfriend isn't around to see me home, so she's worried? haha!! amazing. i'm so tickled yet i feel so forbidden. but i'm ok. just that i think she may be overly worried for nothing because i'm already a big girl. yes i may be forgetful and careless at times, but i'm old enough to know how to take care of myself. oh well, but i guess this will have to do for now. *pouts* and my mom, she's just too adorable for words.
i know i'm a very fortunate girl for having the blessings of so many people, including my family. which is why they will always be God's blessing, to me. *PrincessWylyn bows - a sign of gratitude*

::final post::

this will be the final post for the day, promise. i'm just bored to tears, i figured if i didn't have a blog to entertain myself, i'd probably die of boredom. anywayz, here is another pic of my "world cutest puppy". he got in the balloon himself by the way, oh and check out his cute little tongue! isn't he just adorable? *cuddling him up like a stuffed toy*

oh and also, i'm kinda pissed at my big sis. as you know, she's in aussie. and we call her as a family every sunday night around 8-9pm because aussie is like 2 hours ahead of us. but last sunday, which was last night, she waited forever for our call and we only called her at like 12 midnight (her time), and she was already sleeping. so our call woke her up from her sleep, and she was kinda grouchy plus pms-ing (which reminds me, mine's almost on the way too). all of us just spoke to her for a short while. well, reason being i was talking to my baby on the phone? *tongue sticking out* but i can't help it you know. its expensive for me too! and it wouldn't make sense if i call him on my mobile when i'm at home right?
but then today, she emailed my second sis and told her to tell me to call my boyfriend on sunday nights because like obviously she's the queen and everybody has to give in to her?! unbelievable! if only she knew the pain i'm feeling at this time of physical seperation from my boyfriend, she wouldn't have been so mean! *starts tearing*
alright alright, i'm gonna get some rest now even though i don't feel the least tired or sleepy. nitey everyone...*pretending to yawn*

::bdae party::

today was one of my friend's birthday party, it was at aloha loyang, and i went with my friends. it was alright. i meant my friends. the party was a little quiet. more quiet than expected i guess. but we had a nice catch-up nevertheless, and it was fun chatting with them. a little pic that we took. could have been more, but i guess everyone was camera-shy. so here goes, the gals in black!

::sundaY::

skipped church today because I couldn’t find anyone to accompany me, and going alone would only make me cry and miss my baby even more. maybe next week, i'll try to find somebody.
so here I am, alone on a sunday (because everyone went out) with just my puppy who is sleeping, as usual. my dad was the last to leave the house, and before he left, he came into my room and told me he was gonna be out for awhile. I nodded my head. when he saw what I was doing, he said to me, “I know you miss daniel very much, but no choice, every boy has to do this. a while more and you’ll see him soon.” I burst when I heard those comforting words coming from my dad. but he didn’t see me cry, I couldn’t let him because I know my daddy’s heart would break. I was on the floor, looking at our photographs together. in that album had loads of pictures we took together, and I was trying to put in some more pictures which he had given me the day before he left.
I miss him so badly. its not that bad when I’m working, because I have things to do, and people to talk to. but now that I’m alone, the emotions are running high and getting so unbearable. I thank the Lord for my parents, for my family. they’ve been really sweet to me. knowing how much I miss my boyfriend, they let me use the phone when he calls, and they bring me to my favourite places for dinner. last thursday, the day after my boyfriend went into tekong, my parents brought me to boat quay, just to see the colorful dragon made of lantern, lining up the whole river, hoping that it’ll brighten me up. It did and I’m so thankful for them.
I don’t think there’ll ever be a day where I’ll be able to live my life without my boyfriend. he means the world to me. I’ll dry my tears now, and stop crying. If he ever knew how much I’ve been crying, his heart would break too. Because like my daddy, he loves me that much.

::white chicks::

watched white chicks just now, it was hilarious! this is the first time that i laughed so loudly and happily ever since my deardear went away. it was simply too comical! was kinda lame at times, but overall, it was a good movie, at least in my opinion. did OT today till like close to 6.30pm, on a saturday?! amazing. i'm really tired now, it has been a crazy week for me, but i decided i'll do a last post before i rest for the night. took some pictures with kate and nicole, and my dog when i got home.
from left to right, nicole, kate and myself. aren't we just gorgeous? *crowd agrees in unison* hee


my sister got this balloon somewhere and made fun of my dog. my mom said he looks like he's going for a swim? haha! you decide.


my dear seemed like he had loads of free-time today, and kept calling me. thank God i didn't have a lot to do so i could call him from my office. he didn't sound ok, but he hid it well. guess i wasn't sensitive enough to know that something was bothering him. at night, he called again. and this time, he really didn't sound ok. he just feels really discouraged and all. bad start for him since enlistment day. plus its the weekends, so it just makes everything alot worse. but nothing big. my poor baby. i wish i could fly to be there, hold him and tell him that everything is gonna be alright. i wish...but i know my God will hold his hand, i know my God will be with him, i know my God will make sure everything goes well for him, because everything is under His control, and i believe in Him. here's a note for all you people feeling down, hopefully it will encourage you a little. "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

::saturday::

my first saturday without my dear with me. feels kinda odd. but i'll see him in a week's time. so yay for that! *crowd cheering* i'm feeling better already, as in the crying and emotional part. stronger also, but i still can't help the absence.
so, in my bid to occupy myself for this weekend, i stupidly asked my dear's group of friends if they are gonna be watching movie. they said yes. i guess i just missed my boyfriend so badly, thoughts of him just clouded my head, and clouded my sanity. i was glad when they said they were gonna be watching white chicks (i heard from my sis it was really quite good), and when they asked if i wanted to join, i agreeed. his bunch of friends...i guess they have a tiny problem. they are weird. dunno how to explain, nor do i know to describe. they are just weird. anyway, so movie will still be on at tonight at 9.30pm and his best friend is gonna be seeing me home. coz poor deardear has to serve the nation, so dear's best friend will have to do the job. i'm not looking foward to it, but i guess this will have to do for this week.

::a little gal at heart::::

why issit that just because the title of my blog is "my fairy tale", people think that i'm living in my dreamworld and that i'm not being realistic? whether you choose to believe it or not, there will always be a little boy or girl somewhere in your heart, who will carry on living with you till the day you depart from this earth. Jesus calls it child-likeness. this is different from childishness. and i choose to live my life the way i want to, in a child-like manner. my dear calls me 'baby', he knows i'm a real baby, and still a little girl in many ways. my parents, and sometimes my sisters call me darling. i'm the youngest in the family, and i enjoy the privillege of it. i've always been my parent's princess, the three of us are princesses. and now that i have a boyfriend, i'm also his princess. its not a dreamworld fantasy, its reality. and this is my fairy tale, always has been, and always will be.

::my pics all gone::

for the umpteen times, my pictures are all gone again!!! all these image hosting sites are so sucky man, can't even keep my pictures there?! maybe i should seriously consider Hello!
since my pictures are all gone, there's no point in me blogging. wait till i feel better then i'll blog again. ciaoz for now...

::bimbo::

i was just told that i actually look and sound like a bimbo? that, of course is a superficial comment. but it's pretty disturbing to hear that from a friend. alright, maybe she doesn't know me well enough. people who don't know me personally would think so i guess. like my sisters, they think i'm such a bimbo as well, needless to say, i'm furious but what can i do? its perception.
maybe i should explain where i got my accent from. i am an IJ girl from katong convent. my primary and secondary education were from there. they have quite high standards with regards to english language, and i was taught, from young, to speak and to articulate each word with a certain degree of accuracy. maybe also when i was a little girl, i love imitating people on television and i would learn to speak like them. over time, my speech has become somewhat better than an average singaporean. yes i admit i have an accent, i can't help it? i try to maintain my singlish, but when i'm with my old-time friends, family, and even with my dear, i still tend to have an accent? another reason would probably be my past churches. people there speak really well, and with an accent of course. somehow i just got influenced. its not intentional, and its definitely not because i'm a bimbo, its also not because i'm a poser and a wanna-be, its just the way i am since i was a little girl. if you guys can't take it, too bad.
anywayz, decided to post a picture of nicole and myself. this was taken in taka, about a week back, when my dear was still with me. he was the photographer by the way, which explains my wide, happy and contented smile. i really miss him, i miss him so much i could hardly breathe. but i'm trying, learning and living each day at a time, and counting the days till i can see him again. :)