My Favourite!!!

| Graduate? |

i think i will cry the day i hand in my LAST assignment for Monash's grading.

i think i will be overjoyed the day i finish my LAST exam in Monash.

i think i will cry even harder the day i officially wear the square hat and don the graduation gown.

i just think...

| Whines |

if i blog consecutively for 2 or more days, it means i am very troubled.

indeed i am.

sometimes the ups and downs of life can really get me down. this morning, i witnessed a subtle form of betrayal during a meeting and it didn't feel good - it was then did i realise my time here just became shorter. it will be my 3rd year with the Company come 26 Sept, yes its about time i move on.

i dun feel like talking or doing anything. i just want to laze and stare in the sky all day long. but assignments' coming up and exam timetable is out, i have to hit the books again. DAMN.

it was my CEO's last day today. everyone's leaving, i wanna leave too. i wanna leave singapore and never come back in a long long time. can i pls? *help, i'm drowning!

i hate my job.
i hate the hyprocrital people that i have to work with.
i hate how they can lie through their teeth.
i hate how they can change the things that they say so easily.
i hate how they push every lil thing to me to do.
i hate it!

i have become so disillusioned with this job, i wonder where will i be in the months to come.

i also hate how the boyfriend keeps lying to me.
i hate the boyfriend for not being there for me.
i hate the boyfriend for not being understanding.
i hate the boyfriend's personality and how he's the Mr Nice Guy to everyone EXCEPT his own baby.
i hate the empty promises that he's made to me in the last 2 years since this stupid stupid job of his.
i hate the world around me now.

why is there no one listening to my whining anymore?
why am i feeling like that?
why am i falling into depression mode?
can someone get me outta this job and my life in singapore?

i wanna escape.........

| Work? Friendship? |

i'm upset about work and about friendship.

never thought things between us would turn sour, but its starting to and i can feel it. call me paranoid but its happening. although its not verbally spoken, it seems rather apparent to me.

everyone in the finance department is betting on how i wouldn't last in this position beyond december. its sad to know people are taking your livelihood as a gamble. its even sadder to know how immature people can still get despite their age.

i'm being involved in every lil single thing at work and if this carries on, i will either go into depression or i'll leave. it has come to a point where everyone is weary of everyone else, what happened to friendship? for the first time today, i teared when i was on the phone with my mentor. the stress at work is tremendous + my assignments are gonna be due very soon + friends whom i thought were my friends are all giving me a very tough time. that's why i need to blog it out. maybe somewhere somehow there's misunderstanding but knowing myself and how i so cannot keep friends, maybe i should just shut my mouth and let nature take its course.

right now, i shall just wait for my horrible female boss to bombard me tomorrow about work, work and more work. *hAiz

| 7 Detestable |

last week, while waiting for the boyfriend who was again late, as usual - i had my bible with me and i was reading to pass time. came across this chapter in proverbs which caught my attention:

"There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to Him:
(1) haughty eyes
(2) a lying tongue,
(3) hands that shed innocent blood,
(4) a heart that devises wicked schemes,
(5) feet that are quick to rush into evil,
(6) a false witness who pours out lies
(7) and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers." - Proverbs 6:16-19

David was warning against folly when he wrote this passage and i thought it was pretty interesting that he mentioned these 7 things. i mean, it has never really occured to me until now, so yeah, i learnt something again~!

p.s HOWEVER, i must stress that these 7 detestable things are NOT the 7 deadly sins as categoried in the book of Galatians.

| Still Around |

i just want to say - I'M ALIVE~!

| Tired |

.tired.

truly i am.

though i know i'm reaching the finishing line, i dun wanna live my life with regrets.

regrets about not being able to experience university life.

its my last chance - do i give it up again? life doesn't always give second chances, but when i am presented with one, do i give it up once again?

you can say that i'm running away from reality, you can say that i refuse to grow up, you can say anything you want to but the fact is, i'm really tired.

for once, maybe its time i take matters into my own hands and not care at how others would look at me. for once, and maybe i'll grow up and be more independent than i already am. just once, and i won't live to regret.

| Payback? |

i need to rant.

*SCREAMS

been feeling really depressed since yesterday and i have no idea why.

OR maybe i do have an idea, BUT there's just too many AND i feel like i will explode if i dun do something about it now.

think i've given up enough. issit payback time yet? pls put that smile back on my face.

| Apprehension |

its official - 6th of June will be my last day at my current workplace. with effect from 9th of June, i will be transferred internally to another department at a different location.

i made this request some time in april. at that time, i was extremely determined that my decision to leave my current workplace and job scope and be transferred to the HQ was a right choice. i was excited at the bountiful knowledge that awaited me, i didn't give a second or third thought at how my close colleagues would feel, afterall, i had been with them for 2.5 years and the only closest person back there - my ex-boss - had already left. there was nothing, absolutely nothing holding me back.

today i received the official letter of transfer, handed personally to me by my big boss whom i had worked with since last november.

in all honesty, he wasn't how all those people along the grapevine pictured him to be. on the contrary, he was a big man who commanded respect and authority whenever he went, and i respected him for who he is. we had a chat after work since he's hardly ever around, and we talked about many things, one of which was my further studies. he was also surprisingly, very supportive of further education and had been the most understanding person, supporting me in secret, since my ex-boss. i was very touched, i even almost teared. he wished me all the best for my new career and my studies and instructed how i must do well, or i would be letting him down. he said letting go of someone as capable as me was something he struggled with. i thanked him for his unwavering support be it in my change of career or studies. he was truly a man worth my respect.

now that this chapter of my life is ending and another will be starting soon, i wonder how my journey in the real world would be like. if i may be honest, i had been very protected for the past 2.5 years. this decision to step outta my comfort zone and confront the realities of life is one of my bravest - though apprehension is slowly but surely threatening me, i must stay focus and be strong. i will not let the people who care so much for me down. i will show them that my thirst for knowledge was a right decision.

the same verse which i repeatedly meditated in my heart during my last driving test - and which i see alot of truth in it - will continue to be the guiding verse in my life:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding.
But in all your ways, trust in Him
and He will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6

| BEST Love |

i just want to say that i have the BEST boyfriend in this whole wide world who loves me dearly, and who hand-makes stuff for me~!

i'm blessed, truly i am. =)

Taylor Swift - Teardrops on My Guitar

my current favourite..

| Work Work |

we are the unfortunate,

led by the unworthy,

doing the unnecessary for the ungrateful.

how apt in my current situation @ work now. argh~!

| Hello Kitty |

ok, the long awaited Hello Kitty pictures taken in taiwan are finally up~! i've finally delivered something i promised. ;p


::Hello Kitty Part One::


::Hello Kitty Part Two::

the batt to our digicam died on us while we were @ the final stop of our 2nd day - Hello Kitty Sweets. *pouts so we had no other choice but to use our handphone camera. not too bad lah right? =)

p.s and yes i am aware there are one or two pics that are repeated

| My Taiwan Pics |

my taiwan pics are finally up~! pls follow this link and enjoy!

oh oh...and please go to the right-bottom corner and click on Options, check Always show title and description, save it and then you'll be able to see the narration of our whole Taiwan trip~!

| Maintenance |

i'm finding it harder these days to pen a decent entry due to my very hectic life. for info, i am still in the midst of rushing my recently extended ASSignment. yes i'm also aware of how much pictures i'm oweing - my incomplete HK pics, my birthday pics, Christmas (even though it wasn't many), D&D, TP Marketing meet-up, and of course my Taiwan pictures.

HOWEVER, i've been experimenting with fake lashes these days. so here's a a couple of pics for you to check out my very pretty lashes though i must say, these are high "maintenance" (pun intended). hee ;p


::the boyfriend says i look like a doll *blush::


::do i still look like a doll? *winkz::



"Stop looking at my lashes! Of course they're real."

| Holidaying |

yes, after M.I.A-ing for the last two months, yours truly has finally cleared 10 modules (outta 19 and i can start counting down) and will be embarking on another trip abroad. destination this time? TAIWAN!

the main reason for going? the hotsprings! (ok, this pic and place is somewhere in japan, i'm just lazy to search for a nice hotspring pic that is in taiwan but yah, its something like that, you know what i mean right? *winkz)



we're leaving in less than 2 weeks! so exciting!

oooo but before we go, i will attempt to load up all my HK pics. watch this space!

| Goodbye 2007, Hello 2008! |

goodbye 2007, hello 2008!

its been an eventful year as always, but its been one with the most changes i must say. its been very trying especially towards the end but God had been faithful in keeping His promises and being extremely gracious to me.

in all, i've cleared 9 modules, with the bulk of it in 2007. juggling between work, studies, church, friends, family and boyfriend sure wasn't easy. i had to neglect some and let others go. but it was all well worth the effort, i cleared my modules with an average credit. i've got more to come this year, and i'd await for it fervently.

work had been smooth until the restructuring that took place in the middle of the year, and the final straw came when my boss threw in his letter. at that point, my world crashed right in front of me. even until now, its still crashing. and yes, i need to find a new job soon. but what has a beginning must have an ending, and that closed one chapter of my life for me.

my big sista finally returned from brissy and graduated with a first-class honours in her major in journalisam. along with her return came a new addition, lil pico who is still in the midst of toilet-training. the second sis also finished her degree and went through the whole process of convocation. and now she's a qualified early childhood educator. i'm real proud of both my sisters! in every family, there are bound to be hiccups along the way and we've had our fair share. but at the end of the day, we are still family and blood can never replace water.

the boyfriend and i had a few major bumps but not as bad as what happened in 2004-2005. in his words, "at least we're communicating". we visited new places, HongKong, Disneyland and ShenZhen. like all vacations, we enjoyed ourselves tremendously and felt like lil adults for once being out there on our own. it'll be our 7th year come May 2008. how time files, but with every year, our foundation becomes stronger.

i cannot say we've been regular in our church attendance, but whenever we can, we try to make it for service. hopefully, school timetable in 2008 would improve which would also improve our church attendance. also, we know the importance of a cell group but i can only say 2009 will be the year we can commit.

as for myself, the only thing worth commemorating is that i permed and highlighted my hair for the very first time in my life. and i must say, it ain't too bad. =) also, i've tried a new thing - spa manicure. not bad at all too! and clubbing which we've abstained for a year. we kinda returned to it but not in a massive way. and yes, light still does not have any business with darkness. =p oh yeah and i finally changed my mobile and switched over to to Singtel. its something i've been wanting to do, more so with their corporate plan which i would be able to save at least 50%.

so what to expect for 2008?

1. MORE ASSignments and exams
2. regular church attendance
3. operating on 3 of my wisdom teeth
4. a new job perhaps?
5. restrain on buying things in different colors coz i already have them in 3 other colors
6. spend more time with my family and my Abba Father
7. try to finish reading the Bible? i'm still struggling with that btw...
8. visit a new country or at least go on a vacation SOON
9. regularly post pictures and update my blog so that there will be no backlogs
10. bake and cook more often please. still haven't baked at all since exams were over and summer sem started...

have a good year ahead everyone!

| The Golden Compass |

received an email today from a fellow church member (directed by our Reverend) regarding the movie which read:

The movie has been described as "atheism for kids" and is based on the first book of a trilogy entitled "His Dark Materials" that was written by Philip Pullman.

Pullman is a militant atheist and secular humanist who despises C. S. Lewis and the "Chronicles of Narnia". His motivation for writing this trilogy was specifically to counteract Lewis' symbolisms of Christ that are portrayed in the Narnia series. Clearly, Pullman's main objective is to bash Christianity and promote atheism. Pullman left little doubt about his intentions when he said in a 2003 interview that "my books are about killing God." He has even stated that he wants to "kill God in the minds of children".

While "The Golden Compass" movie itself may seem mild and innocent, the books are a much different story. In the trilogy, a young streetwise girl becomes enmeshed in an epic struggle to ultimately defeat the oppressive forces of a senile God.

Another character, an ex-nun, describes Christianity as "a very powerful and convincing mistake."

In the final book, characters representing Adam and Eve eventually kill God, who at times is called YAHWEH. Each book in the trilogy gets progressively worse regarding Pullman's hatred of Jesus Christ.

an atheist as defined by the dictionary is a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings. in short, an atheist is a person who hates God. specifically, Pullman has professed that he is "trying to undermine the basis of Christianity belief".

thus to support our faith in Christ, we like most Christians have decided NOT to watch this movie and to promote boycotting it. maybe you think 2 less tickets sold wouldn't mean much, but at least it shows our willingness in our faith in our God.

| Filling In |

i finally feel the urge to write and update.

biz stats - my most feared module. anything to do with numbers/figures/graphs/charts etc and i squirm at the very thought of it. but biz stats is a core module and we had no choice but to take it last semester. results will be out midday, this friday. i'm not exactly looking forward to it but i honestly hope for a pass, just a simple borderline pass for all 3 modules.

a week after the exams ended and summer sem started, this time we are taking only one subject - it indeed feels more relaxed.

in the midst of my peak at work, i came across a weird email in my boss' mailbox from the HR dept that titled "Exit Interview". a simple one sentence that read, "Pls fill out the attached form and return to me, thank you." i got hot and red and it all felt strange, i turned to my colleague behind and asked if my boss threw in the white towel and she nodded sadly.

i cried.

my boss was at a meeting that morning and i was very thankful for the time i had alone to think about what his resignation could mean to me. but i was highly emotional and i couldn't stop crying even when he got back in the afternoon. the whole time for 2 days, we barely spoke, and even if we did, it was in the presence of other people because i was afraid i would get emotional. this piece of news came at a wrong time - i was so busy at work and at the same time i had to mull for exams; the whole thing was just too much.

but life still had to go on. tried my best to focus on exams and even when the last paper ended, it wasn't over for me. there was more to come in fact. despite all that, during those 2 weeks, i calmed down alot. i also stopped crying so much and slowly accepted the truth. my boss talked to me like how he always did - like a brother - and i came to understand his reason for leaving.

it was necessary.

all along, my boss had been my shield at work. because of his status, most revered him and didn't dare hurt me though they had very strong vibes for me, i can feel it, trust me. i had been mostly happy the last 2 years here because he had been very understanding particularly towards my part-time studies. i appreciated him as my boss very much and thanked the Lord for that priceless gift. but what has a beginning must have an ending. we talked about it before but never once had i thought the end was so close. farewell dinners, farewell gifts, photo-taking, tons of clearance work and a 3-hour long chat with him the day before he left.

i'm proud to say i was able to hold back the tears on his last day. =)

and that closed another chapter in my life.

the following week, i was down with flu and gastric flu and was on MC for most days of the week. the big boss came looking for me the minute he heard that i came back. we had a talk. what he told me irked me but work is workand i will tolerate for as long as i can, hopefully till the day i get my degree and get the hell outta here. this company is a goner.

this week has seen many trials and obstacles so far. there'll be more to come i believe. but whether it was intentional or not, i finally see how my boss had protected me from evil people in the past and how my big boss just happily threw me into the lions' dens the minute i became boss-less.

well done.

i will still try. i will continue to persevere not by my will, but by the Father's will. however if all these prove too much to bear, i will leave.

but right now, i'm living each day at a time, taking things slowly. i've almost become a pessimist but take heart, when the clock strikes 5.30pm on mondays to fridays, i become alive again. is this what real urban working life feels like? maybe this is the side i haven't tasted in the 3 years since i came into the society. now it gets harsher and worser.

thank God i still have some very good colleagues/friends to fall back on here. and the boyfriend most importantly, for ever being so supportive in whatever i do. i'm so blessed, i really am.

| Hong Kong, Day Two - DisneyLand |

thank God for the exceptional fine weather that day. though we got burnt by the sun, reckoned it's better than getting drenched. and bear with me, this has got more than 50 pics.


::as promised, our couple shoes from kappa. we wore this for the rest of our journey in hongkong =) ::


::@ the entrance of disneyland::


::so happy!::


::hmmm..that's donald::


::our tickets - we're keeping it to build up our mountain of memories together::


::the train station. we took this while queueing for a pic with mickey and minnie::


::also took this while in the queue; the tram ride which i never got the chance to sit in =( ::


::us in the queue for barely 2 minutes with Mickey and Minnie. did you know we still got sunburnt despite the brolly?::


::thankfully, there were many performances along the streets that entertained us::


::finally, the priceless picture which wasted our time for more than an hour::


::then we moved along the streets which had many cutie shops and fake houses::


::another one of those fake houses. the boyfriend made me pose like this::


::but this castle here is so full of bling bling and yes its real (i think)::


::the boyfriend and pocahontas' dad!::


::our first stop and first ride - the Cinderella's Carousel::


::the boyfriend trying his very best to open the doorway - action only::


::snow white, the seven dwarfs and yours truly::


::"i wish for eternal happiness with my prince..."::


::there were so many pretty scenes like this, who can just walk by without capturing a shot or two?::


::the boyfriend working so hard again::


::the second ride we took, i think::


::so fun!::


::"i'm a lil teapot, short and stout" but in this case, its a teacup *lolx and can you see that the boyfriend delibrately cut off my hand in this pic - he hates the handsign that i do::


::tired..so we took a break and had a light meal which didn't come cheap. sorrie about the color of the left pic - it was too dark and this was the only way so our faces can be seen, heh =p::


::and the toilet! it may not be the prettiest looking but its air-conditioned, with lotsa room and its equipped with disposable toilet seat covers where you can use to protect that lil throne of yours, i like!::


::one of the kiddy rides we took::


::poisoned his good friend??::


::no wonder. i couldn't agree more *lolx::


::then we moved off to Tarzan's treehouse..::


::which had a good view from the top::


::reading...::


::the boyfriend always make me do stupid pose..and you still say i dun listen enough to you? *pouts::


::then in the afternoon, all rides were temporarily suspended just to cater for this parade, it was good wet fun though::


::dancing and performances throughout, it was very well choreographed and coordinated::


::that's donald again::


::goof::


::minnie::


::mickey::


::the three lil pigs::


::after all the spraying and super soakers, the rides and shows were all put back on and we headed for the 3-D show; it was very good i must say, one of the best in fact::


::another one of those shows, this one is about the Lion King - Simba::


::after that we headed for Tomorrowland...::


::where the boyfriend had lotsa fun..but when will it be real?::


::one of those rides @ Tomorrowland::


::we also stopped by to get directions. actually the boyfriend is just pretending, he enjoys being a tourist holding a map in his hand but i must say, he's real good at it. he guided and led me throughout the way, except for that horrible experience we had in ShenZhen which yours truly took the lead and left for HongKong on our own - will tell ya more of that in the next post::


::decided to drop by the history and making of mickey and friends::


::shhhh....mickey @ work::


::then we headed to the stores for some air-con::


::i also took pics with the pple there...there all have very pretty uniforms::


::by now, we had finished almost everything there was to disneyland, so we took the train back to where we could find some food::


::when we reached our destination, we found a note that goof wrote..::


::@ one of the restaurants::


::but we chose the chinese restaurant instead. hmmmm what to eat? i'm SO hungry!::


::and all the boyfriend could do was smile at the camera because he said he liked the drawing on the teapot *faints::


::then after dinner, we headed out to the castle to wait for the fireworks::

no amount of words could do the fireworks justice, not even pictures of it. we tried recording it down but the effects weren't as great as the real thing. will try to put what we have up to youtube though. so...in conclusion, HongKong Disneyland is the place to go if you are on a budget (as compared to Tokyo or the Americas), however be very careful of you-know-who next door whom are all running into HongKong. at our current age, being able to afford coming here was a blessing from the Father, and we are very thankful for that. =)