| Take Heart |

so much has been going on lately and my heart is almost dead. but thank the Lord for all the kind souls He's planted along the way in my life to lift me up when i feel so down.

loving the unlovable. that's something i've yet to learn.

i know how Jesus must be gently whispering in my ear telling me how to love, and in all my sanity, i know how i should forgive and love, but it isn't always easy.

again i get the blame for people's reluctances and inadequacies. even the people dearest to me chide me. my big brother told me that Jesus was a target-board for blame too and that cheered me up - to know that whatever i'm facing right now, Jesus has gone through it before too.

God sees, Jesus sees, how much i've to struggle coming back to this home everyday after work or school.

i wanna work things out but how can i when people cannot even hold decent conversations with you and start raising their voices?

and even though i shouldn't doubt the extent of their love for me, this incident, like all past incidents have gotten me to think, if they still love me as before? if they still love all of us equally? because i just can't seem to feel it anymore.

take heart, Jesus knows, and that's all that matters.