| Outburst |

i'm so angry i want to complain.

i'm mad with you for giving empty promises and spoiling my night and day and my plans. i'm mad at you for choosing brotherhood over love.

i hate it i hate it i hate it!

its not like as if i've never been out with you with your stupid brotherhood before and why only now all this talk about just spending time alone with them.

fine, go!

i'll find my own plans and dun blame me when you see me with the wrong kinda crowd. if you deem this as a threat, so be it. i couldn't care less anymore.

as the years come and go, there doesn't seem to be anything for me to look forward to anymore. studies, career, marriage, babies, nothing!

not saving, not scrimping, just spending spending spending. i said i'll give you another 5 years, if at the end of the next 5 years, you're still like you are now, i'll leave.

i'm so mad i'm throwing everything up on this blog and dun you dare stop me because i am this close to leaving you for good.

compare. you are ever so easily influenced by things and pple around you. you see your brother and his sex slave decorating up the room with all the nice ikea stuff and you want to revamp your room too. for what??? in another 3-5 years' time, we're probably gonna be happily married and we're definitely MOVING out. if that's not within your goal, i tell you now, START MAKING IT YOUR GOAL because i'm sick of just being your girlfriend. and so what if we're engaged, who recognises engagement these days? even your parents don't and keep introducing me to your relatives as "friend". after 5 years and i'm still just your friend. amazing.

she has a child from her previous bogus marriage because nobody can actually verify that and your parents still so readily accept her. its like the chinese saying where pple say you buy-big--free-small. and i thought they were getting married? when? if they really were to ROM, how come they are still decorating the room up? oh i forgot, she's not local and therefore have to put a $5,000 deposit as government security before she can get her PR, before they can get married where they'll have an official certificate saying we're free to f**k all day and all night long! they obviously have no intention whatsoever of moving out, yew that's so like my you-know-who.

just kill me!

and what about that lil gal back at home while her mother is here having the time of her life with her new stupid one-of-a-kok boyfriend? she has to go to school, yes we all know that. so who takes care of her? how come she can leave her daughter just like that, for an entire 2-3 weeks?! what sort of mother is she? come on. we all have eyes to see.

studies. you keep saying you want to study yet you don't have the support from your parents because you never bother sitting down and having a good talk with them!
i've wasted 2 years of my life out in this harsh society silencing all the shit just because i'm only a diploma holder, waiting for you to finish your service to the nation. sometimes i just need some assurance, some security just so i know my choice with you isn't wrong.

i spend because i can afford it. i'm earning at least twice your salary!

and did i mention last night to you that i dun feel good. i woke up with a sore throat like big time! did you even bother asking? no, not at all. and i still came to work because its the only way for me to spend the day!

ok, i'm right about done with my complaints.

i'm feeling much better now. and i dun care if this post will make pple hate me. as far as i'm concerned, the above are all my honest thoughts and opinions. and the last time i checked, i am still entitled to my freedom of speech as long as its on this web space of mine.

period.