::Silence::

quarrelled with my dad, i'm beginning to doubt my parents.
he made me sound like i'm the worst thing alive,
he sounded like he's starting to regret bringing me into the world after 21 years of my existence.

i'm hurt.

he said that he'll write me off if i continue being the way i am.
he said that if i don't change, someday somehow someway, someone will teach me a real good lesson.
he said that i'll never make it big in life.

i'm hurt.

he said that i've been climbing over my parents' head ever since i got my diploma,
he said he cannot imagine what i'll be like if i had a degree.
he said that i've been very arrogant and disrespectful to my parents.

i'm hurt.

he said i should stop to think and reflect on what i've done.
he said he will not sponsor my degree.
he said such horrible and mean words to me.

i'm hurt.

this ain't the first time i've quarrelled with him.
but this time, i cried alot.
i've been thinking and reflecting.

silence.
i've been silent whenever quarrels break out.
i've been silent whenever misunderstandings happen.
i've been silent whenever something bad is against me.
i've been silent whenever i've been accused.
i've always been silent and yet i'm still the worst in their eyes.
maybe my silence is my biggest weakness.

if ever i've been rude and disrespectful,
it was never my intention.
i'm only human.
i've been trying, i've been changing.
everyday i'm trying.

God sees the difference,
God knows i've tried real hard,
and God knows i've been a good girl.
my dear sees the difference,
my dear knows i've tried real hard,
and my dear also knows i've been a good girl.

but they just dun see it.
they only remember the bad side of things.
they only remember my ugly side.

maybe what they say is true.
maybe i am what they say.
talk about giving chances,
i just lost my only chance.