| 4 More Days to Christmas |

4 more days to christmas, how exciting!

was just thinking, many people have received their bonus and had like huge smiles on their faces. me? its a just a pathetic pro-rated one. i figured if i'm able to hold this job for the next year, i would be as happy, if not, happier than these people by the time i get my bonus next year.

*sigh

but things are always unexpected and unpredictable.

like how my dear was suppose to get the hotpink motorola v3 for me for christmas, and went through so much troubles just to finally reserve one, but with a twist of fate i chanced upon it and got it myself. poor thing, and now he's gotta fret about what to get me for christmas. =p

ha, am i deviating?

| New Mobile |

i got it! =)
and i can happily cancel it off from my wishlist, ha!

| Coloful Weekend |

not much pictures this year, rather, last weekend. well, but its good enough considering we left house pretty late and caught Pride & Prejudice which i have to declare, my FAVOURITE movie of the year!




ok, i know its a tad too small, but i'm real tired now, will redo it when i feel more life. =p

| Our Lil Getaway |

this time round, its gonna be a reality.

we've made reservations @ Shangri-la's Rasa Sentosa just to pamper ourselves.

a lil getaway we call it.

and our room?



its gonna be early next year. ooooooo can't wait!

| Photography |

for a start, why do some pple enjoy taking so-called "sexy" photographs of themselves?
i mean, seriously, what are they trying to prove or show?

its so funny whenever i come across those supposedly "sexy" pics, instead of being impressed by them, i get so tickled.

well, but if there's anything impressive at all, i must say i do admire their courage, and the guts to publicise it.

they call it the art of photography, how about the art of amusement?

| Happy Happy Happy!!! |

you know what day is tomorrow?

tomorrow is the day my love gets to book out after 15 long days of confinement!!!

*pops balloon

though i saw him on sunday, it was barely even 5 minutes and i couldn't hug him because he was in uniform.

*sobs

i miss him so so much i can't find any words to describe this longing pain.

things would be back to normal from tomorrow evening onwards he said.

and he's gonna bring me to so many places, eat all the things that i wanna eat, and do all the things that i wanna do.

*yippie

i'm delirious with joy!!!

and guess what?

Christmas is in exactly 10 days' time, have you done your shopping yet?

Mango's on sale. and so are many other places.

what to do what to do? i'm bursting!

lunch time and boss isn't around...i wonder where he went *tsk

| Snobbish |

its only in big organisations that you can see how harsh this whole working society is.

where only degree, honours graduate, masters holder, rank, and status matter.

i will get my degree and maybe even honours.

just watch.

you may step all over me right now because i am just a lowly diploma holder.
but when i become a graduate, be careful.

| Miss You |

i miss holding your hand.
i miss the warmth of your big hand on mine.
i miss your 'chow chow' smell.
i miss the smell of your cologne.
i miss your thunderous snoring.
i miss disturbing you (esp in the middle of the night)to bring me to the toilet.
i miss your goodnight kiss.
i miss telling you goodnight in your ear.
i miss waking up with you next to me.
i miss lazing in bed with you.
i miss having breakfast with you in pyjamas.
i miss rubbing my nose against yours.
i miss you holding me in the bus/train.
i miss your nagging.
i miss biting you.
i miss hitting you.

most importantly,i miss everything about you.

| Christmas Celebration? |

my parents are gonna be away on christmas, which leaves us three and the pup. so they were thinking of celebrating christmas. we've never had the habit of doing so, at least not at home.

dear and i always celebrate christmas, whether its just us or with his friends. and this year is exceptional, because he's got to juggle between two group of friends. which means, christmas eve is booked, and so is christmas day.

regardless, my point is, why should i give up my own culture just to suit you when you were also just looking at when his family was celebrating christmas, so we could be alternative?!

also, why should i celebrate christmas with someone who still thinks she's so darn right where all the while, i had been trying to talk to her and she keeps ignoring me?!

there's a limit. i may give in because i understand we were both at fault. but there's no way i can tolerate her persistent self-righteousness! and please, her words the other day weren't exactly kind either.

i'm just feeling all so stressed out right now, i want to run!

| Trying |

its been a very trying week, and this week, i foresee the same.
drove down yesterday just to see you, tears fell. i couldn't bare to see you confined for sucha long time. even after i left, i was still crying.

did you know that?

i miss you, i really do.

dunno how i have to go through this,
dunno why didn't you be a lil more careful.

yet after one week, you've changed.
changed to be nonchalent about me,
changed to have less to talk to me about,
changed to care watching tv more than calling me.
you deny, but the fact remains.

as it is, its painful just talking to you on the phone,
not being able to see you,
to hold you,
to touch you.

i hate you, for putting me through all these!

| Motorola V3 |

i wanna get this phone BUT its outta stock! *pouts

| Destiny |

i'm scared, i feel like giving up this race i was chosen to run.

the pressures' building up and i'm feeling the stress.

i can't perform, i need time.

i don't wanna be compelled to do things against my wishes.

please understand, i am only human.

they say its my destiny.

but i really feel like giving up this race. i really do.

its so hard when people judge every word i say and every action i make. like i'm suppose to be unfallable and the "almighty" christian.

give me a break, i need a break!

| Things I Wanna Do... |

things i wanna do when [you] book out:

1) eat bbq chicken wings
2) walk down the entire orchard road, from wheelock place to plaza sing
3) take pics with the christmas lighting
4) watch Chicken Little, and maybe King Kong?
5) go christmas shopping!
6) rent lotsa dvds and stay up to finish them one by one
7) clubbing
8) eat my favourite oyster at Angus and you'll foot the bill! ha!
9) go ktv
10) cook lotsa and lotsa calamari and gobble them up ourselves, no sharing!

*lolx

quick quick, 7 more days!

| My ScreenSaver |

::Butterfly Oasis::

this is what i look at everyday, every minute, if i'm not using the computer. its animated by the way, the butterflies move and the waterfall right at the end there moves, just that when i did a screenshot, they all don't move anymore.

i'm really bored, honest. i've been trying to find things to do to occupy myself but it doesn't help because i finish them real fast.

have i mentioned i'm real bored, i'm this close to closing my eyes, i need a pair of blunt toothpicks to keep my eyes open. i need to SLEEP!

one more hour!

| Fly |

sometimes i wish time can fly, so i wouldn't have to endure this pain.

done with all the reports i'm required to do, did a good job and pretty one at that, so am feeling a lil accomplished.

now is boredom.

and the pain of having to kill time.

then there's this poor guy who's been accused of being a loanshark, and its turned so ugly that i heard its become a police case. since then, my boss has been calling up a series of suspects and interrogated them.

*sigh

my only comment on this is that, looks can be deceiving. he may look the sort with all the mannerism, but he may not neccessarily be the culprit. what if some evil people are plotting against him? what if he's innocent? what if he's been framed?
there are so many what-ifs, and who knows how to answer all these what-ifs?
its not up to us, definitely.

i'm feeling so so low right down.

my vacation trip is officially off.

i'm not going anywhere without any guardian, my parents have made their stand loud and clear to me. its hard to accept, but i guess that's what happens when i'm the baby of the family, the lil one.

i'm feeling all so depressed right now,
can someone tell me how to live the rest of my days without my love?

| Buried |

5 minutes before i knock off.

i'm glad i had my work to bury myself in,

to forget time, to forget the missing.

9 more days, please come home soon.

| Now & Forever |

i miss you...

Now and forever
You are a part of me
And the memory cuts like a knife
Didnt we find the ecstacy
Didnt we share the daylight
When you walked into my life

Now and forever
I'll remember
All the promises still unbroken
And think about all the words between us
That never needed to be spoken

We had a moment
Just one moment
That will last beyond a dream,
Beyond a lifetime
We are the lucky ones
Some people never get to do
All we got to do
Now and forever
I will always think of you

Didnt we come together
Didnt we live together
Didnt we cry together
Didnt we play together
Didnt we love together
And together we lit up the world

I miss the tears
I miss the laughter
I miss the day we met
and all that followed after
Sometimes I wish I could always be with you
The way we used to do
Now and forever
I will always think of you
Now and forever
I will always be with you

| 2 outta 14 days |

alright, today marks the second day of his confinement. i am barely making it through. how am i gonna survive the next 12 days? i dunno.

went retail therapy with my big sis today and we combed the entire orchard road, went into every single store that sells shoes (because she was looking for this heels that she saw someone wear), and into every boutique that sells three-quarter pants (because she was also looking for one).

*faints

and now, my legs are sore, and my whole body is aching.

BUT it did help me take my mind off the pain for a couple of hours.

so i managed to buy my black tube dress, which i had been searching for high and low since i dunno when. and though it wasn't the exact piece i had in mind, i think that will have to do for now. i dunno why, but i just wanted to get one, even though i already have like many other dresses.

yes, i must stop spending.

12 more days to go.

| Lost |

on my way to work this morning, there were queues of enlistees bound for their BMT at tekong.

i thought of the first time when i was there too. i teared and it made my day blue.

its been a long time since i last felt this way. dear's punishment was out last night, and its a 14-day confinement. it starts today. and because of that, i'm feeling lost.

i always feel lost when i don't get to see him for such long periods. 2 weekends, 14 days.

will start counting down i guess.

| December |

today is the first of december, the last month of the year.
my dad drove through the whole of orchard road last night, from Tanglin Mall to the end of it at Bras Brasah. it was beautiful, and my pup was rather intrigued by the bright lightings too!

still don't have the mood or time to take pictures of the lightings this year yet, shall wait and see when will be that fine night. for a view of last year's lightings @ orchard road, do view my archives under December 2004.

i'm thinking, if i really can't get to go to bangkok, i'll still wanna leave the country for a short short relaxing trip and i'm eyeing on some small town or island nearby.
any good suggestion?